Nonsense and stupidity, have they not be on stricke (BI) Before Independence.

Good job to our Lady Anthonia Joseph

To love is to suffer but not to love is to suffer. Therefor, to love is happiness. God will give to you love of your life.

solmusdesigns:




Aunty no won born or settle down nii...

She knows husband and children would prolly stress her life and drop her income


..

See aunty: aunty
Aunty wey yeye; YEYE
Aunty wey no wan settle; aunty
Aunty wey no wan pikin: aunty
Aunty wey no wan born; aunty

Do so at your own peril.

Say NO to YEYE Daughter!
Ta lo ni Daughter oshi

gimmehear:
10 grammatical jargon often used by Nigerians.



In Nigeria, people use a lot of grammatical jargon daily and most this jargon are/were/is believed to be correct when view in the English man’s way, but interestingly, most of this jargon often have no sensible meaning when searched for in the dictionary.

Below are some compiled words.

(1)Installmentally:

This “word” is a favourite of many Nigerians, but, sadly, it simply does not exist. You won’t find it any reputable dictionary. The correct thing to say when “installmentally” comes to your mind is in instalments or by instalments.

(2)Plumpy:

Nigerians use “plumpy” when they want to say that someone is chubby or slightly fat. The correct expression is plump.

(3)Disvirgin:



This particular “word” is used severally on a daily basis, especially by Nigerian men when they intend saying that a woman has lost her virginity to a guy. The correct word to use, however, is deflower, because “disvirgin” is not a word depicting that meaning.



(4)Crosscarpeting or cross-carpeting



This is a favourite of Nigerian politicians and political analysts alike. They use it when they want to say that a politician has dumped his political party for another party, usually a rival party. The right terms to use when describing this scenario are party switching, defection and crossing the floor and not “cross-carpeting” or “crosscarpeting.”
Go-slow: The word go-slow exists, but not in the way Nigerians use it.

(5)A “go-slow,”

in the peculiarly Nigerian context, is a situation in which road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues. However, go-slow in the English language actually means an industrial tactic used by employees whereby they intentionally reduce activity, productivity and efficiency in order to press home some demands. When this happens, you say that work in the office, factory or organization is at a go- slow. The correct terms to use when road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues are traffic jam, traffic congestion, gridlock, and (less technically) hold-up, not “go- slow.”



(6)Cunny

“Cunny” is not found in authoritative dictionaries, but it can be found in some slang dictionaries. Over there, it is a slang used to refer to a woman’s v**ina. The correct term to use is cunning (which is used to describe someone that is being deceitful or crafty) and not “cunny.”

(7)Opportuned

There is nothing like “opportuned” anywhere in the English language, but that has not stopped its blatant use by all and sundry in Nigeria, including journalists and writers. The correct word is opportune. The word opportune is an adjective; therefore it has no past tense. An adjective has no past tense. However, some verbs can function as adjectives or adverbs in a sentence. These verbs are called participles and they do have past tenses. They are not pure adjectives. Examples of participles are fattened, amused, disgusted, mystified, overwhelmed, upset and bored. Be that as it may, opportune is a pure adjective and not a participle, therefore it has no past tense. Opportune means appropriate or well- timed.



(Alright

“Alright” is a misspelling of the term all right. All right is used when you want to say that something is adequate, acceptable, agreeable or suitable. To hardcore English language linguists, “alright” is not a word. However, its usage is gaining traction and it’s increasingly becoming acceptable. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary – which is considered the gold standard among American English speakers – has recently drawn a lot of criticisms for its permissiveness when it began indexing some otherwise colloquial and street language terms, including “alright.” Most linguists disagree with the gradual acceptance of “alright” as a word by the public and even the media, while those in the minority are “alright” with it.



(9)Wake-keeping

“Wake-keeping” exists only in the imagination of a few English speakers. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as “wake-keeping.” The correct word is wake and not even “wake-keep.” Both “wake-keeping” and “wake-keep” are ungrammatical.



(10)Screentouch: This bad grammatical expression gained currency in Nigeria and neighbouring West African countries with the influx of made-in-China stylus pen touchscreen not- so-smart phones in the mid 2000s. It was a novelty then; many in Nigeria had not seen it – or even thought such advanced technology was possible – before. So, they looked for a name to call it and “screentouch” came to mind, after all you just touch the screen and it starts working. In case you’ve still not figured it out yet, the correct thing to say is touchscreen and not “screentouch.

So there you have it, 10 English language “words” Nigerians love to use that are not found in the dictionary. Feel free to add yours;
https://www.gbetutv.com/10-grammatical-jargon-often-used-by-nigerians/

Lalasticlala

I was OPPORTUNED to be a 30 minutes boss over our driver MAQLATUNJI when We were driving home from the bank where our boss SEUN OSEWA sent us on errand to deposit some Moines in his bank account. GO SLOW-SLOW I said to him as I spot this beautiful PLUMPY lady walking by. I'm on my way to a friend's WAKE-KEEPING of her late dad she replied when asked where she was going. As a fast guy I brought out my blackberry porch SCREENTOUCH PHONE I bought on INSTALMENTALLY term from a LALASTICLALA to collect her mobile number. SHARP-SHARP we drop her at the venue as I told her I will give her a call. Bros! You are very CUNNY O, you are claiming to be the car owner abi? ALRIGHT I go tell Oga, the driver JOKENLY tells me. This babe ASWEAR na me go DISVIRGIN HER if she no dey to do CROSS-CARPETING.

dickofglory:
Some popular Grammatical Blunders. Every one has made at least two times

Not too late to learn

1. You're taking it personal (wrong)
You're taking it personally (correct)

2. He is matured (wrong)
He is mature (correct)
He has matured (correct)

3. The reason is because (wrong)
The reason is that (correct)

4. Night vigil (wrong)
Vigil (correct)

5. Traveling bag (wrong)
Travel Bag (correct)

6. As at when due (wrong)
As and when due (correct)

7. Be rest assured (wrong)
Rest assured (correct)

8. I'm hearing you (wrong)
I can hear you (correct)

9. My names are (wrong)
My name is (correct)

10. All manners of (wrong)
All manner of (correct)

11. She delivered a baby boy (wrong)
She was delivered of a baby boy (correct)

12. Lacking behind
Lagging behind (correct)

13. Crack your brain (wrong)
Rack your brain (correct)

14. Return it back (wrong)
Return it (correct)

15. Ghana comprises of 10 regions (wrong)
Ghana comprises 10 regions (correct)
Ghana is comprised of 10 regions (correct)

16. Wake keeping (wrong)
Wake keep (wrong)
Wake (correct)

17. Exercise patience (wrong)
Be patient (correct)

18. Barbing saloon (wrong)
Barber shop (correct)

19. I forgot my phone at home (wrong)
I left my phone at home (correct)

20. Borrow me your pen (wrong)
Lend me your pen (correct)
May I borrow your pen (correct)

21. More grease to your elbow (wrong)
More power to your elbow (correct)

22. Funny enough, I've never liked him (wrong)
Funnily enough, I've never liked him (correct)

23. My body is scratching me (wrong)
My body itches (correct)

24. Letterhead paper (wrong)
Letterhead (correct)

25. I'm not your mate (wrong)
We're not mates (correct)

26. You're mannerless (wrong)
You're ill-mannered (correct)

27. Horn at the car in front (wrong)
Honk at the car in front (correct)

28. Happy birthday in arrears (wrong)
Happy belated birthday (wrong)
Belated happy birthday (correct)

29. I will sleep at 10pm (wrong)
I will go to bed at 10pm (correct)

30. Just when I thought I have seen it all (wrong)
Just when I thought I had seen it all (correct)

31. First come, First serve (wrong)
First come, First served (correct)

32. I have a running nose (wrong)
I have a runny nose (correct)

33. Working Experience (wrong)
Work Experience (correct)






add yours to the list

I can see that this OP is TAKING IT PERSONAL, HE SHOULD BE MATURED enough to know that THR REASON IS BECAUSE I went to NIGHT VIGIL with Tacha TRAVELLING BAG and promise to RETUNE IT BACK AS AT WHEN DUE. I am hearing all the rubbish you are saying about me, let me tell you something, see MY NAMES ARE SEUN OSEWA and I will not take ALL MANNERS OF RUBBISH from you, because I am a husband and now a father. My wife Khafi SHE JUST DELIVERED A BOUNCING BABY BOY and I can't be LACKING BEHIND, I must CRACK MY BRAIN to get money and do a befitting naming ceremony for my son. Yes GHANA! I will go to Ghana to search for gold, it COMPRISES of 10 REGIONS.
I was supposed to call LALASTICLALA the Snake monger but I FORGOT MY PHONE AT HOME please BORROW ME YOUR PEN make i write a letter on my LETTERHEAD PAPER to him, but FUNNY ENOUGH, I NEVER LIKED HIM because of his loves for SNAKES.

Youths protest against Bobrisky, say behaviour ungodly
Published

September 19, 2019

Nigerian youths numbering over 500 on Wednesday took to the streets in Abuja to protest against what they described as moral decadence of Idris Okunneye popularly known as Bobrisky.

The protesters, under the aegis of National Youths Council of Nigeria, while disowning him, said they stood by the National Centre for Arts and Culture, National Council of Women Society, Christian Association of Nigeria and other organizations that had taken a stand against Bobrisky and his activities.


During the protests, the youths advanced from the NYCN secretariat to major landmarks in the FCT like the National Assembly, Force Headquarters and stopped at NCAC.

They bore inscriptions and placards all condemning the negative culture promoted by Bobrisky and his cohorts.

The Vice President of NYCN (North Central Zone), Mukhtar Jebba, described the activities of Bobrisky as “ungodly, unhealthy and disgusting.”

According to him, what Bobrisky and his cronies were promoting was completely against the moral, cultural and spiritual values of Nigeria.
He said, “Consequently, the NYCN today, September 18 2019 declares Bobrisky as persona non grata, as he is a man (not a woman). For national interest, we call on the ever-conscious, ever-ready, combatant Nigerian youths and comrades of like minds to, without fear or favour, kick out Bobrisky and his likes wherever they come across them. Nigeria is not a place for LGBT and we shall fight this to the end.”

Jebba called on the Inspector-General of Police and the Director-General of the Department of State Service to use their good offices and their men to stop the likes of Bobrisky from rubbishing the country’s pride and image.

The Director-General of NCAC, Otunba Segun Runsewe, while addressing the protesters, commended them for taking a stand against the vices promoted by Bobrisky.

He said Nigeria’s respected cultural values must not be eroded by unguided people like Bobrisky, adding that NCAC “is working to redirect the negative trend.”

Source: Punchng.com

Anybody.....nakam something

excober080:
DEAR YOUNG GUYS AT THE AGE OF 25 TO 30

Stay away from abortion.
Don't make our mistakes, I see
my childhood friends play with their kids.. Most
of them are not doing as well as me.. But they
are happier with their families..

Trust me it isn't money only, but Rather your Maturity, your
happiness depends entirely on your wisdom and the way you Handle Life. with
a well planned life they are happier.

Trust me it
isn't money, What is our problem? Build mansion? buy the latest Car in Town? marry Sharon stone type? but still we don't have those things we dreamt of,
and of course the years we wasted, we can never have them neverrrr!!!_

Please don't be 60yrs old and your kids will still
be in their 20's..What are you supposed to be at
that age? Their grand father.
Please young men, take my advice seriously.

Marry, don't be afraid, that girl you are finding too many
fault in has many good qualities if you look well.

Don't think you will get every thing before you
settle down.

With a good determination and focus with your wife by your side, we will succeed
by God grace....Amen

DEDICATED TO ALL THE SINGLES ON THIS PLATFORM

To all those saying what will he use in feeding his children, pls tell me one person you know who has died by hunger? God who created you will surely provide for you what to eat, even though I regretted not marrying at an early age of about 25 and now am 35 just want to start beating the drum of marriage, while my mates kids are clocking 10-15 years old.
See my brother and sister, as the OP has rightly said; time wait for no body. Don't be deceived, though not all fingers are equal. Moral: if you have that opportunity to marry at early age, PLEASE DO! for time waits for no one.

Heloooooooo THUNDER, PLS COME OVER HERE IT'S AN EMERGENCY!

Abeg can you help us stop the sun from coming out tomorrow cos I wan do sumtin dis night and I no want make day brake.

Wow, what a superb write-up from FFK. I'm truly worried and ashamed for the (black) South Africans.

Haaaaaaaaaa! Mugabe loooooo! Iku bolaje. R.I.P

Niccoloimhotep:
.. .... deep ocean of secrets you meant to say actually (in titanic....by old rose)

Thanks for the correction. Noted.

The heart of a woman is deep sea of secret.
Nonsense and WADUME.

Mttteewwwww! Nonsense and wadume

This is the kind of dey pain me. Make she come try yam for naija.

stonemasonn:
The great Kanuri people shall rise again. Nothing in life is permanent.

Please let Peace return to the North East.

TEARS FROM MAIDUGURI
Maiduguri
Capital city of the ancient Kanuri empire
A big elephant in the desert
A million happy children on its back and trunk.
You were a city of innocence
Where inhabitants dwelled in the farm of peace
And cultivated plenty fruits
Of unity, love and joy

You were a bubbling city
Full of promise and attraction
Your weather may not be friendly
But your smile was full of tranquility.
You spoke the language of commerce
With unhindered fluency and simplicity
Like a big mango tree
You provided both shelter and fruits
To all who sat under you
You were a magnanimous host
Who received guests
From home and abroad
And made them felt at home.

You were like a beautiful bride
Who stole the hearts of many suitors
That kept knocking on your door
In quest for your love
Which you gave in abundance
To the envy of some neighbors.

But Maiduguri. Oh. Maiduguri!
Like a bolt from the blues
Your enemies threw spanners in your works
And you lost your innocence at once
Your children are now on the cliff's edge
Their farms, shops and books mortgaged
In exchange for guns, grenades and propellers
The melodious song of love has ended
The terrible tunes of war are very loud.
The virus of war has entered the city of commerce
Turning it on its head
There is pain with tears in every household
Leaving in its trail
Blood, blood and fire
Men have become beasts
Hacking down brothers and sisters
In a ruthless show of strength, faith and courage?
As the streete experience ceaseless bloodbath.

Oh Maiduguri!
Look now at your body
Your highly artistic shape
Your wonderful architectural master pieces
The many thousand heavy duty trucks
Have all melted in the fire of war
Between your children and against your children
The powerful vehicle which drove your economy
Has crashed very badly
Men, women and children
Everyone in tears and blood.

And now!
The commander has commanded
His order must be obeyed before complaint
Soldiers in full military regalia
Hungry for war unfought for ages
Equipped with super guns, propellers and war planes
Penetrated the womb of Maiduguri
Through the towns and villages
Combing the deserts and hills
Sniffing in search of enemies within
The sounds of gun shots take the air
Communication killed alive
Mothers and daughters
Fathers and sons can not transmit their love or pains
Hospitals everywhere but no savior for the wounded

The desert moved closer with no water to drink
Hunger celebrated as it killed many
With no food to fight it
The few who still have their homes
Have continued to serve the dusk to dawn jail term
The sweet fragrance of love and romance
Which greeted my nostrils
On my last visit before this
Has given way to the foul odour
Of blood and fire
You are now a shadow of your past splendor .
In Maiduguri
Every moment announces the arrival of another death

In a high whistle
Which descends like a spear
Through the chaos
And explodes in a vast noise and motion
Which smashes everything......
Men, women, children, buildings.

Maiduguri
Your streets flood with blood
Your atmosphere is ruled by fear and uncertainty
I wish something will just happen
Today
Now
This moment
To pull the chestnut
Out of this raging inferno.
Oh, Maiduguri!

DonX001:



1 bottle of chilled Orijin for you.

Thank you bro..I don't take alcohol but I can manage feruz

*AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX!*

Due to the current and often false allegations made by women, which include Rape, Harassment, Blackmail etc. there is now an agreement to be signed before "action".

AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX

I, ___________________, the undersigned female partner (herein referred to as the 'Screwee'), am about to enjoy sexual intercourse with _________________ (hereafter referred to as the 'Screwer'), certify the following:

1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.

2. THAT I am not under the influence of liquor or any narcotic.

3. THAT the afore mentioned Screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.

4. THAT I, the Screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever.

5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him.

6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and neither do I care.

7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk.

8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him; because I love it and want it as much as he does.

9. THAT in the event that I receive full satisfaction, which I expect, I declare in advance the capacity and willingness for further participation at regular intervals.

10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that,
(a) I contract an STD
(b) I become pregnant
(c) I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or otherwise.

SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED ON THIS ___ DAY OF _____ (MONTH) ________ (YEAR) AT ______ (AM/PM)

_______________________
(Signature of Screwee)

-------------------------------------
(Signature of Screwer)

He is a very young guy, abi because he dye his hair

and how will it now look like if they eventually arrest shakau shakau

gloria34:
Soon-to-be 23, i love wedding gowns, honey moon stories etc but i'm not sure i'm ready 4 marriage. Just Dont know y, so many things on my head sha

hello Gloria, let me advise you, when you get an cool handsome, loving and a ready guy like me. don't say NO. time wait for nobody.

Geoxplorer:
I love Igbo muslims. I wish i can find a good igbo muslim lady to marry...

I know one, she is very religious, caring, understanding and very beautiful. I would have love to marry her but I am engaged already. her name is Fatima.

IbrahimDamola:
Serves him right if he is truly dead. You dress like an armed robber, shooting people anyhow and calling yourself SARS. You will be overpowered and killed.

#EndSARS

#EndImpunity.

though, R. I. P to the two officers. this is will serve as a lesson to these uniform men in mufti that always bragged and says: DO YOU KNOW WHO AYAM? you are nothing but a sand. Now the Inspector has come to his own #EndSARS.

op why are you showing us a container of filled of poo. I expect to see her face.

chai! chai!! chai!!! diaris gordu ooo!

oboy the tailor wey go do the clothe measurements need to climb a ladder