₦airaland Forum

A man is in court for killing his wife. In the closing
statements the man's lawyer surprises everyone when he
announces
.

"His wife was just missing. Everyone look at
those doors. His wife is going to walk in through those doors in about
30 seconds."
.
The entire court is silent and the jury stares at
the door as the lawyer and the defendant stare at them.

After a couple of minutes the lawyer says to everyone.
.
"See! If you were
so sure he killed his wife, you wouldn't be watching that
door!"
.

The jury goes into deliberation and comes back
almost immediately with a guilty verdict. One of the members of the jury actually noticed something remarkable about the man.
Why did the jury
convict him?

pacretus:
#7..Won't allow any moda fckr..beat his wife.

And would fight dirty for her.

I won't marry a wife that I'll av to FIGHT DIRTY for

emmahoney:
Do you think that you are making sense? I do not blame you but the system that is making you to run your mouth. Next time, do not just type gibberish. Get a job and master on it as if that is how it is easy to get it. Many have not gotten a job after graduating many years ago. Those of us that have gone for masters are still more relevant than them in the labour market.

Bro, u simply reiterated what the OP said that: the M.Sc only raises ur hopes. That is quite a realistic perspective
Speaking of relevance;
1. Your academic relevance doesn't get u d job, it's the employment letter that does.
2. Your academic qualification is only relevant to who needs it. So, don't disillusion urself with the idea of feelin more relevant than the B.Sc others. I guess u've never missed a juicy job opportunity becoz the employers see u as OVER-QUALIFIED.

Sacred mountains are central to certain religions and are
the subjects of many legends. For many, the most symbolic
aspect of a mountain is the peak because it is believed that

"it is closest to heaven or other religious worlds":PURE. NONSENSE


In christianity for example, Nigeria in particular, the "holy mountain" concept has bcum so overbearing. Fine! It was used in the bible as rendevzvous for God and prophets as well as some religious things. I think that was a necessity.
The way churches and crusades are being set-up on rocks(which they ridiculously refer to as "holy mountain" these days is really baffling.
I thought these "holy mountain" - promoting' pastors and churches agree that God is omnipresent. So, why all these craze of theirs for religious practices on most of these southwestern rocks?
What cud be so symbolic about the "holy mountain" concept.
If u can consecrate the top of a rock for religious causes, what stops u from doin same to ur sitting room?
Any little ish: " let's go and pray on the holy mountain"
Such an silly and hypocritical trend it is, to Me.
Leaves one with the question of whether the only place God works effectively than any other is the place we choose to call "Holy Mountain" OR any other reason I might not know?

Y do ppl say "no offense" right b4 dey probably offend u with an insult.
e.g No offense, but I hate the way u talk.
------------------
Y are Nigerian new-borns/babies always bouncing sef?
e.g she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.
----------------
Y do CAC churches specifically call the name of jesus 3x times b4 the prayer point commences.
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Y wud someone come to u wit a gist dat begins wit "guess what!" And the person sharply tels u what'z up without even lettin u do d guess at all..so annoying.
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Y wud I save and trust my moni wit a Nigerian bank and I can't contact their customer care for free. Nonsense.
-----------------
Y wud Nigerian parents ask u angrily "are u a fool?" Repeatedly..knowing u dare not answer the question.
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Y do African parents give coded meanings to YES and NO...growing up wit African parents will make one understand dat ur parents cud mean YES when they point-blankly tel u NO, openly...#SoAnnoying.
--------------------
Y must catholics hold the crucifix(may or may not be attached to a rosary) of jesus to feel the powerful presence of the lord, yet they agree he's omnipresent ...#NoOffence.
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Y someone wud say her hobby is washing...azzin..were u born in a washing machine?.
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y wud someone claim BLACK as a favorite color..hian..were u delivered in the dark?.
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Y do we humans conclude God is a he(like I did above)..are we even sure?.
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Y is polygamy barbaric to civilization and polyandry is not?.
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Matthew, Mark, Luke and John gave conflicting accounts of the life of jesus christ..but Y was Luke's own the most acceptable? yet 2 were jesus's disciples..I thought the witness shud av the most accurate account.
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Y wud someone begin a statement with "I hate to say this but" when dey av clearly stated their hatred for what dey r abt to say? ..so why stil go ahead and say it..mtcheew..
------------------
Y wud doctors say "alcohol kills slowly?"...not like alcoholics are in a hurry to die anyways..makes sense for em'.
-------------------
Y does the name/title 'errandBOY" never change, no matter the age of the person involved.
-------------------
Y is it that the only thing u find worth living for, is the very same thing worth dying for? Really baffles me.
-------------------
Y must one make a significant number of enemies in the music business to be considered a dope rapper?.
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Y are hausa lunatics so scarce on the streets? Or northerners don't get mad?.
--------------------
Y has it never been recorded in history that an igbo man cut another out of anger, sinx a cutlass is the 1st and only tin dey carry weneva provoked..#NollywoodSaysSo.
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Y do ppl use "just listen to urself" when they want to call u a fool.
----------------
Y steven seagal neva gets a single stain or punch from his opponents in his movies?

Abeg I need answers....

This issue has always been over-emphasized. Almost evry gurl once had(or still have) that school of thought. You claim to be a virgin in a relationship, with the "No sex" rule and u get so heartbroken when u find out he later cheats on u with another girl who probably gave him what u withheld.
I personally see this as big-time mumunity..it's like a guy dating u as a girl refuses to spend a dime on u and feels cheated when another guy spends on u..is it not strange?
This thing do one corper girl I knw..after a little over a year of dating with the "no $ex" rule..she eventually caught the guy cheating. Expectedly, this girl life turned upside down, she lost weight, ppl tirelessly Consoled her. The guy sef even beg tire. She no gree.
Fine! Sex shudnt define a relationship but why not try rule that out as a license to cheat?..
If not, just kukuma no date, expectin the highly improbable.
"NO SEX" rule and expecting a guy not to cheat cos of that..FOOLISHNESS or VIRTUE?

Piptoes:
I'm always nice to guys, but they always ditch me

Why is it that most guys don't live up to my expectations?
Cause each time I try to think there's a glimmer of decency in them (guys) they always prove me wrong.

A lot of guys always compliment me by telling me I'm pretty, so why am I still single?

This and many more questions have been on my mind.

U probably got a bad taste in the choice of men or boys u end up with...change ur orientation

bitchcrafts:
It happened, so, you won't forget when its not like u've amnesia. All u do is take it as to err is human for inner peace's sake .It's never in your capacity as human to forgive; Divines.

Hmmn..it's rather strange when some hypocritical "holier than thou" characters are quick to point out that only Unforgiving people don't forget..like they aint humans

"forgive and forget" has bcum so much of an overbearing cliche..
Hmmm...Is this however realistically possible?.. To forgive and Forget like it neva apund?

1. Expect her to do her own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that she’s learned to love doing what she wants, when she wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone.

2. She’ll probably want to take things slowly because she’ll not be used to all the attention. Don’t think she doesn’t like you enough, she probably likes you a lot; it’s just all new to her.

3. Expect her friends to be overprotective of her and to be suspicious of you at first. They’re not used to her being with someone and they’ll want to make sure you’re the kind of guy who will treat her well.

4. She’ll have a hard time letting you do things for her. Try not to take this personally. She’s just used to taking care of herself and it’ll be hard for her to live in a world where she’s got someone else looking out for her in that way.

5. Expect her to be stubborn, to always want things her way, and to fight you when she doesn’t get it. Don’t always give in to her, but do let her win sometimes.

6. She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself.

7. Expect her to pull away from you, especially when she realizes how much she likes you. She’ll come back to you but she’ll need time to think her feelings through.

8. She’ll question you, sometimes directly, sometimes implicitly, about your feelings for her. She’ll always want to know if they are real or if she’s making things up in her head.

9. Expect her to be headstrong. She’ll tell you, “I’ve got this,” more than you’ll want to hear. But she’ll get used to your offers to help. And in time she’ll know how to let go of the tight grip she seems to have on everything.

10. She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it.

11. Expect her to be stingy with trust, to only give a little bit at a time. But every time she gives you a little, it’ll feel like a big step for her. Cherish these big steps.

12. She’ll come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first. But don’t be intimidated, this is her outer shell. And when you get to know her, you’ll know she’s strong but soft; tough but kind.

13. Expect her to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know her. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of her that she’ll let you fully discover.

14. She’ll be slow with her vulnerabilities, and hide many of her weaknesses. And when she shows you them, she’ll feel naked. Clothe her with your words.

15. Expect her not to need you, and not to believe in needing much of anything at all. But she’ll want you. And when she does, it’ll be the most exhilarating feeling you’ve ever experienced.

16. She’ll be scared – scared to be hurt, scared to love, and be loved. Scared that you’ll eventually hurt her or leave her and if and when that happens, she won’t know who she was before.

17. Being alone is her default, it’s her comfort zone. But expect her to fall in love with you faster than she’ll admit and in a way that isn’t loud but still powerful; it’ll be like a little bit of heaven. And it won’t matter if you love her for a while or for a lifetime; her love will change both you and her forever.

vicstar:
• • • • • Oops! My bad sorry mahhn

Sori..for being correct..?? I hereby withdraw the chilled bottle of orijin I was bou to hand to u..lolz

vicstar:
• • • • • I guess u've got a hymen right?

Who told u the presence/absence of a hymen is what actually defines virginity?..u need cane sir..it only apuns to be a sort of biological proof in women, which is not entirely true sef, coz the hymen can break/tear b4 the girl bcums sexually active later(google is ur friend)

virginity - /vəˈdʒɪnɪti/.
noun.
1. the state of never having had sexual intercourse.

Na sexuality be the sole definition of virginity biko..not hymen(the hymen idea is juz a silly & narrow school of thought)

Gflat:
Phantom = An image that appears only in the mind; an illusion. This is what I actually meant.

Bros..no argue..abeg take correction from victstar..ur use of "phantom" in dat context is lexically wrong..
"Fathom", "picture" or "imagine" can work thr coz they express the verb sense in that clause.
"Phantom" however is a noun and can never be nominalized as a verb(as u wan use scope do am), Moreover, u can't use a noun to express an action, only verbs do this job.
"Can't" is a modal verb dat needs a lexical verb(a main verb) coupled with it to express the action. "Fathom" does that job.
The meaning of "phantom" sef no even correlate with ur topic. The issue u raised aint an illusion mehn..it's a reality in today's society..no vex say I tackle u..we r 1..

Smh..comedy of the year..naija sef dey form strict border security..like say dem go knw if these dudes enter the next flight Back to naija..
Many options dey..go ghana enter bus from thr to mile 2 etc..
Abeg 4get matter.

Abuja - Nigerians have been urged to brace for possible fuel
scarcity as truck drivers embark on a nationwide strike on
Tuesday, Naij has reported.

The strike, which follows a seven-day ultimatum issued by
members of the Petroleum Equalisation Fund (PEF), will see
the transportation of petroleum products come to a
screeching halt across the nation.


PEF's ultimatum, which involved the immediate payment of
bridging claims and reduction of freight rate paid to its
members, has resulted in frustration among drivers who
have now accumulated outstanding claims as a result of
non-payment.

Alhaji Kassim Bataiya, National President of NARTO, has
since demanded that the management board of PEF
commence full payment of all member claims with
immediate effect

http://http://m.news24.com.ng/Nigeria/National/News/fuel-scarcity-to-hit-again-as-truck-drivers-go-on-strike-20160726?isapp=true

Coz most baes fink he's too hot to be single nd probably lying bou his relationship status.
None of dem wanna take the risk of endin up a side chic

1. The first ex.
This ex is the one who turned you into the bitter realist you are today. You either broke his heart or he broke yours — either way, it’s affected every relationship you’ve had since. No matter how much time has passed, you probably have absolutely nothing nice to say about him, as you still question WTF you were thinking in the first place.
--------------------
2. The one who rightfully hates you.
You cheated on him, you broke his beloved television or you hated his best friend — whatever the actual reason is, this guy hates you and there’s nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter if you are a completely different person now. You have scarred him for life and he never wants to speak to you or see you again. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us.
----------------------
3. The one you break up, to make up… to break up with.
You don’t know why you think it will be different this time, it is literally the same sh*t over and over again. Your friends all warn you, but, no, you never listen to them even though they’ve been right the four times prior. But it’ll be different this time around. STFU, no it won’t and it never will be, at least not in the long run.
-----------------------
4. The one you pretend never existed.
You know that one person you dated, for however long, who you would rather pretend never existed? Maybe this wasn’t a full-fledged boyfriend, but a consistent hook up, either way, it never happened in your book and when people question you about it… deny, deny, deny.
---------------------------
5. The one you f*cked up and will never get back.
Maybe you cheated or went bat sh*t crazy — whatever it was, you drove this guy far, far away with no hopes of ever returning. You probably still think you have feelings for him as none of your efforts to win him back have been successful. The sooner you accept the reality of the situation, the better off you will be.
-------------------------
6. The one you only care about when you’re drunk.
When you’re sober, the last thing on your mind is your ex, but when you’re obliterated, he is all you think about. Why? WHY does this happen? You kick yourself in the ass every time you succumb to the drunk text, but for some reason, you never learn your lesson. Oh well, better luck next time.
---------------------------
7. The one you never got closure from.
It’s been years since your breakup, but for some reason, you still just can’t figure out where things went south. Who broke up with whom? And why? Was it one isolated incident or a combination of smaller incidents? Is there any hope for a reconciliation? Do you even care or are you just curious?
--------------------------
8.The ex you only miss for the sex.
Is it really closure you’re looking for or are you just missing the intimate aspect of the relationship? Chances are you haven’t met anyone who’s lived up to your ex’s standards, which is why you think you miss him. In reality, you are perfectly fine with the decision to break up, but that one thing is always stuck in the back of your mind.
------------------------
9. The one you were never even dating.
You were never officially dating and so you never officially broke up. But you go from hanging out one day, to not speaking the next. These are the in-between people you hit up at your convenience and vice versa. Whatever, you don’t need that confusion in your life anyway.
-----------------------------
10. The ex you forgot you dated.
His name comes up casually in conversation and you burst out laughing. Your friends don’t understand what’s so funny, but you do. You think back to when you dated this guy and are just so perplexed by what you were thinking when you did so. You don’t hold any negative feelings towards him — actually, wait, you don’t hold any feelings towards him. Glad that’s over and done with…
----------------------------
11. The one you dated just because your parents hated him.
We all have that rebellious period in our lives where we live to tick off our parents. And what’s the best way to do so as a female? Date a guy who is completely wrong for you and shove it in your parents’ faces… because this totally makes sense… I don’t know who this will upset more, your mother or your father. You just wanna prove to them that they can't always be right.
-------------------------
12. The one who broke your heart.
Ah, this guy is the worst of them all because you definitely didn’t have the upper hand in this situation. Sure, maybe you had multiple exes break your heart, but there’s always one who sticks out when compared to the rest. When you are having those really sh*tty, mopey days, you can’t help your thoughts from drifting to this person, pushing you further and further into your misery.
-----------------------------
13. The one who still expects you to apologize to him.
You have been broken up for a while, but for some reason, your ex still thinks you owe him an apology. You thought you both moved on, but apparently that isn’t the case. You were under the impression that you could be friends again, so you start talking on a friendly basis… that is until he brings up the apology he thinks he deserves. All that does is put you on the fast track to never speaking to him again, ever.
----------------------------
14. The one you will marry if you are still single by 30.
You broke up for a legitimate reason, but left off on good terms. Maybe you went to different colleges or moved to far away cities after college. But one thing remained clear: If you make it into real adulthood (let’s be serious your 20s are just an extension of your college years) and are still single, you will marry each other.
-----------------------------
15. The one who is/was your friend.
Before he was your boyfriend and then your ex-boyfriend, this guy was your friend. He wasn’t a random stranger you met out on the town, but someone you were close to before you decided to take your relationship to the next level. But as with most things in life, nothing good lasts forever, so that breakup left you unsure of how to handle this uncharted territory.
----------------------------
16. The ex whose family you miss.
You don’t miss your ex at all, but you do miss the shopping trips you went on with his mother and/or sister. Let’s be honest, you probably stuck around as long as you did because of the way his family made you feel. It’s rare to actually get along well with a person’s family, so it’s only natural to miss them when they are no longer part of your life.
------------------------------
17. The one who is completely wrong for you.
You knew this relationship wasn’t going to last, but you didn’t give a sh*t. It seemed fun at the time — and isn’t that the most important thing? You weren’t delusional about the circumstances as you knew this would run its course, regardless of how fleeting it would be.
-------------------- 18. The crash and burn.
Either one or both of you did something so f*cked up that the only option was to break up. Neither party apologized nor spoke again. You quietly took your shame and whatever dignity you had left and went your separate ways. People don’t even ask you to elaborate on the reason for your breakup as your tone when you said, “It’s a long story,” spoke for itself.
---------------------
19. The one you still casually hit up to hook up with.
What’s the point of still keeping in touch with your ex? So you can hook up with him, of course. This doesn’t have to be a drunken night, it can be whenever you feel like it. You’re both on the same page as to where your relationship stands (hopefully) since you’ve moved past the breakup to the makeup phase (see #3). You both simply hit each other up when it’s convenient.
----------------------------
20. The one you have to convince yourself you’re better without.
Sometimes you contemplate getting back together, even if you aren’t on speaking terms. But as soon as that thought appears in your mind, you must push it away. Remember all of the bad times and the reason you broke up in the first place. Okay, good, your five minutes of insanity have passed and you’re back to normal… phew.
----------------------
21. The one you think you want back, but regret every time you do get back together.
This is different than the breakup-to-makeup because it’s always on your terms. You know your ex will get back with you whenever you decide to come around. You finally think that it’ll work, only to regret your decision the moment you reunite.

Ousted chairman of the House of Representatives
Committee on Appropriations, Abdulmumin Jibrin, has
made more shocking revelations on how 10 standing
committees secretly injected constituency projects worth
N284 billion into the 2016 budget without the knowledge of
the House.


The embattled lawmaker also claimed that the speaker,
Yakubu Dogara, allegedly convinced him to ship over N20
billion into the budget through Service Wide Vote.
In a statement issued in Abuja, Jibrin alleged that some
cabals had hijacked the Speaker to always do their bidding.
He, however, said the Majority Leader, Femi Gbajabiamila,
and three other principal officers were not part of the secret
deal, adding that the budget inputs inserted on their names
were exclusively carried out by the speaker, his deputy,
Yussuff Lasun; Chief Whip, Ado Doguwa and the Minority
Leader, Leo Ogor.
His statement reads in full:

.

“I am compelled again for the purpose of emphasis to state
categorically that my allegations are against the quartet of
speaker, Yakubu Dogara; deputy speaker, Yusuf Lasun;
House Whip, Alhassan Doguwa, and Minority Leader, Leo
Ogor, not the Honourable House as an institution nor other
members of the body of principal officers.
“I have to state this very clearly because this quartet has
resorted to desperate moves to drag the entire House of
Representatives into the case of gross abuse of office I have
leveled against them as individual presiding and principal
officers of the House. This is a mischievous move to set me
on collision with the entire house.

“They have also recruited four from the very few members
of their cabal to use some elements of the Nigeria police to
kidnap, harass, blackmail and intimidate me into silence.
Until yesterday, the police were laying siege to my house,
blocking the entrance and exit, shouting that they wanted
budget documents.

“They embarrassed my entire family with a nursing mother
and a seven-month-old baby that cried all night. The game
plan was to arrest me and dump me in police net while a
heavy media propaganda will be carried out to mislead the
world that I have been sacked and police have picked me up
as a culprit in 2016 budget.

“When ever I am released, an irreparable damage would
have been done to my person that will stick for life.
“As God Almighty will have it, I had traveled out of town
before they could execute their evil plan. God is always with
the innocent. The members in the tick of this plot are Jagaba
Adams, Jika both chairmen interior and police affairs
respectively, Muhammed Bago, Muhammed Zakari and the
last one I need not introduce him to Nigerians.


“During the budget period, when they discovered that I was
not the kind of person they could use to perpetrate their
illegality, Mr Speaker and the three other principal officers
took away the entire Appropriation Committee secretariat to
a secret location where all sort of insertions were made into
the budget.

“The blackmail has always been, Abdul people will laugh at
you if anything goes wrong between you and Dogara
because of the lead role you played and the many toes you
stepped on to get him elected. It’s been a painful
experience.

“Again the secretariat was taken away from me on Speaker
Dogara’s instruction for the second time to a location I didn’t
know and all sort of insertions into the budget were made
and returned to me for signature.
“I said over my dead body! It was a massive crisis behind the
scene until the early morning of the Friday that Mr President
assented the budget. It was Sen Danjuma Goje that brokered
a compromise that since the deputy speaker led the
harmonization committee, he should also sign such that the
harmonization committee will share responsibility with us.
“Senator Goje pleaded with me so hard all night and later
shouted heavily at me reminding me that he was not talking
to me as a senator but as a father.

I cried heavily all night.
“When the budget harmonization committee, headed by
Deputy Speaker Yusuf Lasun, gave out 80% concession
across board to the executive demands during the
harmonization negotiation, it was agreed that the remaining
20% should go to the entire NASS. The deputy speaker
excused himself that he wanted to go and consult with Mr
speaker.

“He came back after few hours and in an unprecedented
display of greed, presented to me a hand written note
distributing the remaining 20% to only principal officers.
70% of the 20% was reserved for Mr Speaker and himself,
while the remaining 30% of the 20% went to other principal
officers. I am sure he will recognize the hand writing when
he sees it.”

“Mr Speaker also directed me to create what I advised him
will be a controversial line item under service wide vote to
introduce about N20 billion projects using the name of
NASS. He directed me to see a highly placed PDP politician
which I did and collected the documents. I advised him
repeatedly against it but he kept pressuring me until I
bluntly told him I will not!

“When the Appropriation committee received all the budget
reports from standing committees, an analysis was
conducted. We discovered that about 10 of the 96 standing
committees of the House introduced about 2,000 (two
thousand) projects without the knowledge of their
committee members, amounting to about N284 billion.’’
“I was alarmed. But I was cautious because at our pre
budget meeting with the committee chairmen, I was clearly
warned not to touch their budgets. I reported the matter to
the speaker. He did nothing about it obviously because he
was working behind the scene with the committee chairmen.

That was the beginning of the whole budget problem from
the side of House and the whole exercise had to go through
several versions before it was passed.

“So, is it Abdul that introduced 2000 projects into budget
worth 284 billion? But I quietly bore the pain and abuses
from all over the country and continue to defend the
committee inputs as a show of loyalty to the institution I
represent which I so much love and still have many great
minds in there. Apart from Chairman Agriculture Hon
Mongunu who owned up and explained his inputs at the
only executive session I was allowed to attend, the other few
chairmen who loaded the budget kept quiet and watched me
bashed from every angle by angry Nigerians.’’


“Speaker Dogara has completely derailed, remains clueless,
keeps on with an unmatched ego and surely leading the
House to the biggest scandal it may ever experience.
‘’He has failed to live above the fog in public duty and
private thinking, a direct opposite of what my favorite
American Poet, Josiah Gilbet Holland, prayed Lord to grant
us leaders.


“All I am asking for is my right to be heard by my colleagues
which they denied me. I am calling on my colleagues to
plead with Speaker Yakubu Dogara, Deputy Lasun, Whip
Doguwa and Minority leader Ogor to stop obstructing justice
and allow me my right to be heard by the House.


‘’It is the House that will institute a special investigation on
this matter to allow me testify and provide evidence before
any other external action,” the statement added.

Another Niger Delta militant group, the Adaka Boro
Avengers (ABA), have said that nothing would stop them
from declaring the Niger Delta Republic on August 1, 2016.
In a statement signed by General Edmos Ayayeibo, the
group said it has concluded arrangements to make the Niger
Delta Republic a reality even as it ordered its people to
return home and northerners and westerners to leave the Ni­
ger Delta and eastern states immediately.
It also issued a quit notice to the military and all agencies
belonging to the Federal Government to evacuate the Niger
Delta states and the eastern parts without delay.
Failure to obey the order, it said on Sunday, would lead to a
total destruction of military personnel and agencies.
The statement reads:


.

“We, the Adaka Boro Avengers and all the freedom
fighters in the Niger Delta region have met and come to a
conclusion that we are declaring the Niger Delta Republic
three weeks from today.
“So we are by this notice calling on the Nigerian
government to move out all military personnel and all
government agencies out of the Niger Delta. Failure will
lead to destruction of military barracks and personnel.
“We are, also, by this notice calling on our fathers,
mothers, brothers and sisters living in the northern parts
of Nigeria to return home immediately.
“We are also warning northerners and westerners to leave
the Niger Delta region immediately within three weeks
from now, for their own good.
“If they refuse to heed to our warning, we will use so
many as example in the Niger Delta region on the due
date.
“We are telling the Nigerian government that enough is
enough and we are taking our independence by force. We
have our foreign backers, so we are not afraid of the Nige­
rian government but ready for total war.
“The inhuman treatment given to us by Nigerian
government is enough. We can no longer withstand the
suffering of our Niger Delta people. They should not take
us for fools.”

Dosha, a 10-month-old pit bull mix living with her master in Clearlake, California, had a really bad day on April 15, 2003. That morning, she jumped a fence to escape her yard and was subsequently hit by a pickup truck. Dosha was glassy- eyed and limp when the police arrived. Thinking that the dog was fatally wounded, the cop shot Dosha in the head, just below her right eye, to put her out of her misery. Animal control arrived and put what they thought was a carcass in a plastic bag. They transported Dosha back to the dog pound and loaded her into a freezer. Two hours later, a worker opened the freezer to find Dosha sitting up, still in the bag. The officer’s bullet had traveled along Dosha’s skull—barely missing her brain—and had lodged in the skin under her jaw. She also suffered from hypothermia but had no broken bones from the initial accident. The bullet fragments were removed, but she was left with some hearing loss in her right ear. For her triple death-defying feat, Guinness dubbed Dosha the luckiest dog in the world.

007 is synonymous with the fictional British spy, James
Bond. To start with, Ian Fleming, the original writer of the
James Bond series, was a reporter-turned-writer who
worked for the British naval intelligence during World War II.
He actually named his fictional spy after a bird scientist with
the same name.
Ian Fleming did not know the real James
Bond(Bird scientist) in person but had come across his name on one of his published
books on birds.
Fleming settled for the name because he felt it fit the
dull personality he wanted for his character.
Nevertheless, the fictional James Bond(the one in the movies and books) ended up being
more popular than the real one(the bird scientist), who even got into
problems at an airport because officials thought he’d forged
his name(when in actual fact, he was the real owner of the name).

However,

James Bond’s code, 007, is based on 0070, which
was the code Germany assigned to the series of messages
that led to the infamous Zimmermann telegram incident.
The Zimmermann telegram was a series of messages sent
between Germany and the German embassy in Mexico. The
messages urged Mexico to go to war with the United States
and revealed Germany’s plans to use submarines to sink US
ships.

funnynation:
time for the match pls.. I rep mancity

Soccer24.com

The leadership of the Indigenous People of Biafra, IPOB, is
not happy that they are being described as pro-Biafra group
by the media, pointing out that they are Biafrans and not
trying to be one.
A statement credited to IPOB Spokesmen, Emma Powerful,
Mr. Emma Mmezu and Dr. Clifford Iroanya, indicates that
Biafra existed before Nigeria came to being.


The statement said that Biafrans and Nigerians have nothing
in common since they have different culture and religious
beliefs.
The statement claimed that if Biafra is removed, there would
be no Nigeria because it is the mainstay of the entity called
Nigeria today.


He further said that their detained leader, Nnamdi Kanu, is
aware of this fact and has sworn to die than to renege from
fighting for the total emancipation of Biafra.
“We don’t hear (sic) the same language, we don’t eat the
same food, we don’t have the same culture. In fact, if we
come to their land to practise our culture and religion, we
will be beheaded.

“Their women wear hijab, and Biafran women don’t, and on
the point that our women don’t wear hijab and we don’t
practice the same religion, they will see us as infidels and
then we will be beheaded. We are 100 per cent Christians.
This people are Muslims who see killing as a culture.
“In Biafra where we originated, it will be hard for our people
to kill a human being, because in our language, human
beings are called mmadu, which in English Language means
the beauty of life. Now you can see it will never work, the
only solution is Biafra.


“Our leader, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, further stated that there is
no regret in his dictionary, adding that he is ready to spend
a thousand years in the prison.“
He also said and will continue to say that, it is either the flag
of Biafra is raised up, or he is lowered in the grave.

While being strong for the pursuit of the restoration of Gods
nation, he wants the IPOB members worldwide to be strong.
He also said that “Pro-Biafra” means supporters of Biafra,
we are Biafrans, so we can’t be supporters of Biafra.


“We are not trying to secede from Nigeria. We are older than
Nigeria. You can only talk about seceding if Biafrans are the
ones that colonized Nigeria. But we are older than that
contraption. So we can’t secede rather we just want to go
back the way we were before the British came. It is Biafra or
nothing, Nigerians knows that,” the statement declares.
Highlighting the need for Biafra’s separation and self-
government, the statement frowned at the way Biafrans are
being killed in various parts of Nigeria, especially the recent
massacre in a community in Enugu State and the mass
slaughter that took place on May 29 and 30, 2016 at Onitsha,
during the 49th anniversary of the Biafra declaration.


“During the events in commemoration of the 46 years since
the end of the war in Biafra, for the umpteenth time civilians
members of IPOB were massacred between 29 and 30 May
in Onitsha, in Anambra State by the Nigerian military which
opened fire at the protesters. The number of deaths is
uncertain, since the army has removed several bodies and
seized the wounded.


According to Amnesty International, at least more than 40
were killed and more than 50 were wounded. “Opening fire
on peaceful members of IPOB and the spectators, who
clearly did not represent any threat, is an outrageous use of
unnecessary and excessive force that resulted in multiple
deaths and injuries.


In one incident, a person was killed after the Nigerian
authorities shot him while he was sleeping,” said M.K.
Ibrahim, Director of Amnesty International Nigeria.
https://www.today.ng/news/national/157067/biafrans-pro-biafra-ipob

Pep Guardiola pushed aside any suggestion he would not
shake hands with arch-rival Jose Mourinho and insisted all
would be friendly when Manchester City play Manchester
United on Monday.


"We are polite guys, why not?" Guardiola said Sunday when
asked if the pair would extend hands, despite an
acrimonious rivalry which stretches back to 2010 when the
Catalan had stewardship of Barcelona and Mourinho took
the reins at Real Madrid.


"Why should we not shake hands? No reason why. He will
want to win and so will I, that’s all," the City boss told a news
conference after training at Beijing's Olympic Sports Centre
ahead of the International Champions Cup pre-season tour
match.

"It's a friendly game, a really friendly game."
Since taking on their respective Manchester football giants,
each manager has insisted they will not concentrate on each
other too much.



But Guardiola acknowledged that United would mount a
serious challenge in the English Premier League after a
period in the doldrums since the retirement of Alex
Ferguson in 2013.
"I’m pretty sure they will be stronger than in previous
years," said Guardiola.
"With this manager I’m sure they will buy new players. They
will be a strong team."


Sunday's training session was switched hastily to the smaller
Olympic Sports Centre to preserve the famous Bird's Nest
stadium's pitch following days of storms in the Chinese
capital that have left the ground saturated.
The first Manchester derby outside the UK will be played at
the centrepiece of the 2008 Beijing Olympics on Monday
night, weather permitting. More than 200 people have died
in flooding in northern provinces surrounding Beijing.

------------------------
- 'Not ideal' -
Guardiola acknowledged that conditions would not be ideal
and his first priority at this stage of pre-season was to avoid
any injuries.

"We didn’t see the pitch but there is a lot of water in the last
days so we understand it’s not in a good condition," said
Guardiola.

"But OK we’re going to adapt and adjust. The most important
thing is that the players are not going to be injured.
"We know the humidity for the training is not ideal, but we
also know that it’s so important to come here to know the
people and to play a good two games against amazing teams
like United and Dortmund."

Captain Vincent Kompany is in Beijing with the squad after
recovering from an injury-blighted campaign in 2015-16, but
did not train with the rest of the players as he is undergoing
his own intensive programme to regain full fitness.
Guardiola said there was a possibility he could be ready for
the first game of the new season against Sunderland on
August 13, but he would not rush the Belgian central
defender back and risk further injury.

"The physio says he is ready but he needs to show that he
can play one week, then one week more, to play regularly,"
said Guardiola.

"The most important thing is for Vincent to get fit – if it’s for
Sunderland, perfect. If not, September."
United lost 4-1 to Borussia Dortmund in Shanghai on Friday
and City will play the German side in the southern Chinese
city of Shenzhen on Thursday to conclude their China tour.

No be Cele?...I fear their behavioral correction techniques.. These goons can burn a dude at stake and claim it's a correctional technique

To the MOD that moved this to fp(am not the OP).. You'll never know sorrow in the rest of ur prosperous life

U got a very good point of view thr OP.



















For sec. Sch. Students actuali..

This has always baffled me..seeing someone announce they wanna go sleep(at anytime of the day) and they just literally get on the bed and sleep-off so fast...as if they simply put on the "sleep-switch" in their bodies..
I wonder, is it dat they aint got tinz on their minds to ruminate on b4 the sleep comes or sumtin.
Coz I don't expect the sleep to come so easy like dah for ppl who got serious plans, goals, to-do lists etc..

------------------------

Is it right to assume that ppl who find sleep-offs so cheap to be less-ambitious?

saintdennis:
Guy if u read any finance/finance related course then u should be ashamed of yourself.

Which state WORLD WIDE doesn't have recurrent expenditure?

While ibori was embezzling tinubu was reconstructing lagos... I attended free education I had to chain my desk(which every student brought from home) to my friends with several padlocks ! Also we were over200 in a small class (I attended immaculate heart comp high school, maryland) tinubu came and didn't just repaint schools, he changed desk, standardised uniforms, I don't know how he did it but suddenly we had more space and each class were 60/70. Learning was easier.
Tinubu constructed roads, improved healthcare facilities, he initiated BRT (fashola just commissioned it) , he opened up the real estate market, created new lcdas (even when obj witheld FG allocation) enshrined tax collection. Etc

Willie obiano a "lagos boy" is using basically same policies.
I was in Benin when oshiomole came in people complained bitterly when he started his tax drive, most people in edo and ND see govt as father xmas, civil service filled with political appointees filling slots.
Igbenedion spent 8years did nothing.same with ibori.

Now look @ tinubu-fashola-ambode all outperforming eachother
Look @ ibori-uduaghan-okowa. What's their legacy?

Lagos is run by sme's, real estate and service industry, not just oil! Or shey oil corporations no full ND too? Lagos diversified under very good leadership while ya'll praise alameisiegha for looting his state.

Till today the lagos spelling bee is still existing...what are the legacies of your ND ex-first ladies?
Your best governor Donald duke is politically irrelevant today and u don't find it worrying? Smh

*chews gala hungrily*.

*pops la casera drink open and gulps*.

u knw , Dennis, *belches loudly*..one tin is quite certain..

U ACTUALLY WENT TO SCHOOL