₦airaland Forum

maybe we should ask the poster how she looks at him. there are different kind of looks u know. prolly the kind of look she gives him makes him feel uneasy.

some looks can be d.a.m.n creepy!!!

they have said it all but i really dont understand something and i will like u to clarify that.

is it that u can't cut him off entirely since it has been agreed by everyone even urself that the guy is no good for u?

can't u do without calling him/seeing him? are u that attached to him? cos i think both of u setting limits is just a waste of time. the limits u set now will definately be broken if u keep seeing him. i blv answering these few questions will be of great help

ice234:
i agree oh gettin a boy now a-days is very hard

dont think so!!! if u know how to go about it.

underage:
@nikkykay, tanx 4 your advice atleast dere's sum1 here who undertands hw I feel. @tosyne007, I can b wat u mean bt don't u realise this is a matter of d heart.

of course i do and that's why u need to cut him off now!!! cos he's gonna hurt u in the long run. (that's a fact) cos a relationship that's not working when both of u are in thesame country, how's it gonna work when u guys are far apart. I aint a mean person neither i'm i heartless but i dont joke with my emotions. u came here to seek for advice and i've only said wat i think i will tell my sister. so if u feel i dont understand how u feel, then i'm sorry i cant help u.

[quote author=African_queen link=topic=518644.msg6807295#msg6807295 date=1285244178]Chaos in paradise. . . Keep it coming. haven't heard the bible said ask and it shall be given? Seek and you shall find? Knock and it shall be opened to you?[/quote]it will be blasphemous if we start mis-interpreting bible passages/sayings for our selfish interests.

@poster, where are thou? could u please answer the questions?

nikkykay:
Pls give him more time.He's just travelled.He needs to get on his feet.he may be very busy looking for job. or trying to settle down with the one he's just got.Afterall, for him to hv proposed to u means that he loves you and u guys have known each very well be4 he left.I know some distant rships dont work but try to be patience and let him know hw u r feeling.Living abroad is time demanding just bear with u and let him know hw u r feeling abt this.Then always pray fro him.

wat time does she need to give him again. someone she has not seen i a long time. someone who doesnt even hav the time to say goodbye b4 travelling. wat kind of love is that. no patience is needed here cos it's obvious she will only be wasting her time loving him. He doesnt even have her time while in the country, now that he has travelled, she should expect worse.

No girl, i mean no girl would have a child for me without my consent. it takes two to tangle they say. would she impregnate herself? if i'm not ready to have a child, then she shouldnt be ready too if we both love eachother. what happened to precautions?

but if it happens by mistake, then we will continue our relationship and bring our parents into the picture. i want to believe ur case is thesame, i will advise u bring ur parents in if u love her and please for no reason should u end ur studies. Just endure and by the time u become a gradute, u will get a good paying job to sustain you and ur family.

P.S ensure she gets something doing too to support you.

all the best.

[quote author=s.ohiemi link=topic=518745.msg6807031#msg6807031 date=1285241816]Nikkykay has said it all poster.d guy is suckin u dry financially,sexually,mentally nd odawise.ps-collect all your cash b4 u go ooo![/quote]very funny!!!

@poster, all has been said. though it will be painful but u have to move on cos this guy means no good and i dont u can do anything about the money.

just take it as a business/deal gone bad. take heart dearie.

cool!!! and i agree with u.

but that word "subjective" has diverse meanings. so kinda got me confused there.

SA Goddess:
The other guy was talking about how morally wrong it is for a woman to approach a man, so I meant one person can see nothing wrong with what the other thinks is a sin so it differs from individual to individual, what works for Tom may not work for Peter, it is personal!

i think by saying the "other guy", u must be referring to me cos i actually said it's wrong for a lady to approach a guy and i also said that belief/notion is personal. (check the previous posts for confirmation)

u still havent explained what u meant by saying my belief/notion is subjective. that's what i need u to clarify.

SA Goddess:
Morally? That is subjective!

how do u mean? could u be more elaborate?

distance relationships aint good in anyway and i wont advise anyone to indulge in such but i think there's more to this cos i dont understand why someone will not call someone u claim to love for eight days!!! that's ridiculous. i dont think she's into u but dont cut her off abruptly.

try talking things over wiv her and i'm sure u will get the facts u crave for. I will also advise u prepare for the worst.

all the best.

Kelvinj:
your totally wrong. Dont agree with u at all

that's ur opinion and u are entitled to it as i'm entitled to mine. ever heard of different strokes for different folks.

cant really understand why a lady should be the one doing the asking out. it's kind of abnormal (morally) and i'm sure most of the guys here will agree. Guys tend to appreciate ladies who play hard to get and are morally sound, not gilrs running after guys all in the name of knowing wat they want.

personally, i will look down on any lady who runs after me. i might go along with the flow but will definately treat her cheaply cos it's just not right.

For a lady to be morally and emotionally okay doesnt mean she doesnt know what she wants but it's the right thing to do. It's a matter of offer and acceptance, Guys should do the offering why ladies should do the accepting.

Not the other way round.

i see no reason why some people are getting themselves worked up cos it's so obvious the poster aint ready to leave the guy. wth her responses, i want to blv she still loves the guy (i doubt if it's the normal love anyway) and she has 4given him once again or in the process of doing that.

@poster, this aint a matter of giving credit but it has to do with your life. u are talking about 7years that has gone by when we are looking at u spending the rest of your life with someone who sleeps wit his sister and is not showing any sign of ending this heinous anytime soon. If u are cool with forgiving him anytime he wrongs u, then stick to him and marry him quickly but i want u to know that the 7years you are shouting about is nothing compared to spending your entire life with him. give it some thouhg dear.

all the best.

@poster, we all know wat the guy did/is doing is cruel and inhuman but i will advise u move on. i know the urge to pay him back is so strong but u need to quell the urge cos if u think u hav a plan, the guy could hav a master-paln and the whole thing will leave u more heart-broken and dejected than u are presently.

kindly move and u will definately find someone who will love and appreciate u for who u are.

P.S: i hope u learn from this that u need to be more carfeul when going into a deal that has to do with the heart. simply put, look before u leap (fall in love).

flakkydudu:
LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ladies why is it we single ladies now find fun in going out with a confirmed married man(young men for that matter), not even because he has money but thinking we can find love with him and believing he will leave his wife for us.
Have we now become so desperate that we don't mind sharing a man we want to call ours. Is there anything like having a man to yourself alone. And remember if you eventually get him to leave his wife, he could leave you too.

but u have not answered the question and i blv u are in the best position to answer that cos only ladies can give us genuine reasons why they do.

moreover, u sounded like u are speaking from experience, if true, then share with us.

Vic2k3:
@POSTER.
My man what u are in is called LOVE. But am sorry that u fell 4 the wrong lady. No sensible lady plays with a man's emotion. So i will advice u to start (now) to look 4 a suitable replacement cos thats the only way out. There are many nice ladys out there dying 4 u for example: MADLADY
**runs out before madlady reads this **

this is a good response.

i really dont understand why some people are condemning this guy for falling in love and pouring out his mind. I'm very sure most of u must have felt or did wat he's doing while in school and i dont understand how being in love wit someone or having a relationship is going to affect his studies negatively. It will rather affect him positively cos he will be emotionally balanced. All he needs is the ability to manage his emotional and academic life very well and i think he's doing a good job at it going by wat he said.

@poster, i want u to keep up the faith that this girl can still be yours irrespective of HENRY. I think she's got some feelings for u that she's trying to hide and i understand how frustrated it is to love someone and not getting anything in return. But like some people said, if she aint forthcoming, i will advise u move and u will definately find someone else who would appreciate and love u more.

Bottomline is no lady or man is worth DYING for, no matter wat. best of luck.

Kelvinj:
Well u read this 2

that was in the storyline and not the question itself.

the questions is

What will u do if u catch a close relation red-handed?

anyway, let's drop it and revert to the topic.

Kelvinj:
Well the poster said if i caught my uncle rite? So am talking with regards 2 the topic man

then check this.

Olumogun:
I saw a thread this morning talking about you walking in on your daughter having sex, but I have walked in on a friend before, which is understandable.
But one that I could not get the picture out of my head was when I caught my Uncle bleeping his wife junior sister. The style was horrible, the venue was absurd.

Up till now I could not say a word about it to anyone, though the girl started showing serious respect to me since that day.

What will u do if u catch a close relation red-handed?

Kelvinj:
eye wey see deal get share if u know what i mean

if one of the parties involved happpend to be ur sister or aunt, will u still prefer to share?

i guess not.

wow!! that will be serious ooooooo. well, i think i will hear him or her out cos they should have a genuine reason for indulging in such an act.

and if there are no reasons at all, i think the best thing to do is walk away and allow their conscience to do justice cos trying to expose or blackmail might cause more harm than good.

@poster, this is really a tough one (work/career vs family) and i believe it's weighing u down already. U really need the wisdom of God to solve this. But i think u really need to answer this question ,

Kelvinj:
Well poster i think u really have 2 reconsider this, cos this career thing mite tear your marriage apart if care isn't taken. First which is more important 2 u? your family or career? When u think abt this then i'll know what 2 advice u on

which is more important to u? i want to believe it's ur family and i wont advise u to jeopardise ur husband, kids and the entire family for a job that is not even ur own. I understand u are a career person but wat happens if the company decides they dont need ur services anymore? ur family will definately be there 4 u. Moreover, u can always change jobs if the one u hav presently is denying u the opportunity of spending time with ur family but can u change ur husband same way? NO. (except u dont love him anymore). U really need to find a way of balancing the two cos if u are not happy at home, it will definately affect ur productivity in the office. May God help u.

Omolola1:
Oh! How sweet of you!, i bet she is one lucky gal

of course she is and i'm d.a.m.n lucky to have her too. she's really a good girl and i'm happy to have her.

thanks though

cant really find a thing i dont like abt her cos i love her.

love covereth all things they say, so if u love someone, u do not only love his/her capabalities, endowments, gifts e.t.c. u also love his/her shortcomings, blemishes or wat hav u.

so, dearie, if u are seeing this, want u to know i love u stupor!!! with all ur shortcomings baby.

[quote author=--190-- link=topic=507738.msg6686834#msg6686834 date=1283444852]the guy don eat finish clean mouth.

sometin i can never do to a lady, instead i would just withdraw wen the temptation sets in,

the minute i proclaim my love for any lady, i mean it~[/quote]the withdrawal aspect is not as easy as u think. by the way, how many ladies have u proclaimed to?

Omolola1:
Last time i checked, the poster said she never did anything to offend him~

I just checked and can't see this either. she never claimed she didnt do anything but the guy wouldnt talk to her.

kokoye:
^^^ She might not have known. That is why she should try to find out what is it.

It is not everything we do in good faith that goes down well with everyone else.

quite true. that's why they need to talk things over and by doing so, she will know where the relationship is heading to.

it's so appalling to see some people jump to conclusions that the guy never loved her. that cant be true!!!. Right, the guy's behaviour is kinda rash and uncalled for but it does not mean he doesn't love her or he's calling it quits.

kokoye:
Try to have a face-to-face discussion. Then you decide if you want to quit or continue.

@poster, that's a reasonable suggestion. there's a possibility u did something wrong and he's boiling and pondering over it that he doesn't want to pour out his mind yet. some guys decide to cut their partners off when they are angry cos they think it's a way of getting back or torture them. I will suggest u dont call himm but go over to his place and talk things over. with that u can have a concrete proof of what his plans are and u can move on from there.