₦airaland Forum

omofola:
Tell him to buy the car first and see what happens.

haa!!! greed!!!

it kills!!!

El Gators:
Please people, i'm not saying i want to sleep with my b/f cousin. The cousin is a crazy guy who gambles a lot (He actually lost N80,000 to my cousin during the last champions league game, betting MU will win the cup).

My point is that he has the money to spend and thinks he can tempt me with it, telling me my cousin won't know. I know he just wants to massage his ego. The thing is i would really like my b/f to know what kind of person his cousin is. I'm only afraid that iy might backfire and i'll be the loser at the end. My b/f never sees anything bad in his cousin, even though he is arrogant and extravegant.

About the cousin not buying the car is out of the question, because he can afford it, he has an oil servicing company. The guy is really rich and i think that gets into his head, making him think he owns the world.

from ur statements, it seems u sound like a straight girl and u aint gonna do it. Cool!!

i see no reason why u shouldn't tell ur b/f. that it might backfire? i dont think so. I blv it will make him love, trust and nlv u more. did i hear u say if he doesnt blv u? Fine, u move on cos i'm sure not believing u doesnt mean he will break-up with u. Moreover, it will put the randy cousin in check and will also make him understand the kind of person u are. (that is, he dare not try it again).

But if u decide to keep quiet, he will only blv u are contemplating the offer and that sooner or later he will have his way. (silence means consent.) remember?

agabaI23:
And who told you I wanna do that for him? I want to satisfy my own curiosity and i guess that is none of your business.

why are u getting worked up and nasty over this issue? u could see i never insulted u in my previous mails and i wont want to start now.

we are all here to profer solutions to people's problems and not picking up needless fights and quarrels.

is that ok?

OMO IBO:
With the above comment you stand a chance of getting run over by Nairalanders.

why in the world will anybody do that? can't u see/feel she's hurting?

Tracey121:
Yah sure that's what I mean, They cant just decide when to start and end the r/s, that's bunch of bullshit if u ask me,
at least he shud have given me a chance, damn I missed all the signs, they were there but I just turned a blind eye
on them, to think that I actually believed that I have found love that wud never die, how cud I be so stupid

sorry once again but u are right about being stupid. that's wat crazy or should i say blind love does to one's emotions. It makes u look stupid and foolish when u r not. Like u said, u must hav been seeing som signs which u must hav decided to ignore just to male IT work.

Like i said earlier, dont dwell on the past, move on and believe u can get a better person u will make this pain (u are feeling) go away. U might find it a bit difficult to blv this presently, so i will suggest u depend on friends and relatives to make u happy (i mean make u forget eat happened). u can as well depend on nairalanders. we aint all bad.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Some like it, some don't.

I do. . .the more rotten the better [/color]

that's crazy!!! i like ur style.

DaudaAbu:
I always wonder, Gals would always say they prefer Guyz that are experienced se*ually but at the same time would claim they dont wanna giv it up b4 they settle down. How the HECK do the guyz get the xperience then

Lets hear some reasonable responses.

for real, babes do appreciate experienced guys though u are right that they rarely oblige when it comes to giving it up.

all thesame, they will need an experienced guy when it's time for 'GIVING IT UP' and it also takes an experienced hand to make a lady wanna GIVE IT UP.

dont u think?

agabaI23:
I want to guess who it is by rulling some people out based on location. Does that answer your question sir?

i dont think u need to dat for him. If he likes, let him tell the house who the person is (which i dont think is ideal).

seems the poster has become a poet all of a sudden, i want to believe the love is making him delirious

Tracey121:
My BF broke up with me on FB to all the places in the world, what shud I do, Im devastated right now, all crying, shudnt there be a constituted law that guys arent allowed to end the relationship? , shudnt I be drawing up a petition now ooooo to the government about this issue at hand, sure the constitutional court can enforce such law

so sorry u r hurting babe. but i will like to say u are wrong in saying guys initiates break-ups. Ladies initiates too!!! i'm sure more than a million guys hav gone thru thesame ordeal u are going thru.

So, i will advise u pick urself up and move on. U will find someone who will appreciate u more and may God grant u the fortitude to bear the loss (just joking)

agabaI23:
Poster,
Where are you located? where is she located?

what's their locations got to do wit it?

i really dont see why we are getting worked up for this guy while the lady is someone she loves having the best time of her life. Let the guy look for someone else to love i mean a lady that will make him forget this CYBER CRUSH of his.

kunmibola:
@tosyne,
bro,i undastand evry points u made bt my problem is i jst introduced her 2 my people nd i dnt want it 2 b an act of inconsistency on my part if i eventualy dump her. Furthermore,u shld undastand hw painfu it ll b dumpin a luvd one. Honestly,im nt lookin 4 encouragements rather,im looking wayouts.

looking for wayouts? then i believe u hav a lot to pick from the options people hav given.

i understand how hard it is to leave someone u once loved and this is not a case of 'DUMPING SOMEONE' and shouldnt be treated like that. It's about wat u want in life and ur happiness at heart.

No man will want a lady who rains insults on him day in day out as a wife. U mentioned that u av introduced her to a lot of people, cool but dont u think they will understand and reason wit u if u decide to leave her. At least, u r the one dating her and not them. So, i believe they will respect ur opinion. Think wisely about this cos broken relationship is better than broken marriage (like a recent post says)

congoshine:
No !

thank you for the clarifications cos i was begining to believe that ur so called love is imaginary.

u shouldnt hav problems getting her out of ur mind since she deosnt even giv a shit about u (sorry, i mean she doesnt even know u have feelings for her). Just believe in ur heart that she does not exist.

better still, get someone else to love (and make sure she's ugly this time) since u hav problems wit pretty chicks.

congoshine:
Distance & she may be into someone else. . . , . . . .

So I need advise on how to zero my mind to avert a heart break

i think u are confused and u dont really know wat u want.

one minute, u sound like u love the babe; the next, u want her out of ur mind.

why dont u giv love a chance? how can u be so quick to judge people? u think she will be wayward when she's out of sight? u dont draw conclusions like that.

i'm sure u r just getting to knw the babe. I will suggest u take time to know her better, maybe u will have a change of heart.

pinky lady:
it seams your heart is finally made up to continue with the relationship but u want to forum to help back up your plans.
_{love is indeed blind}

thats my point exactly!!!.

his mind is made up and he only needs encouragement from the house.

@poster,
why not go ahead and take her back at least u know her better now. I mean u are aware she will always insult u over minor issues but will be ready to apologise thereafter. If u can condone such a relationship, then stop asking questions and take her back.

all the best.

i will say we get married in order to fulfiill God's commandment and not to break the trend.

Remember? he asked us to go into the world and replenish and reproduce.

How do we do that if we dont tie the knots?

think abt it.

congoshine:
I think I have fallen in love with the loveliest babe on NL.

Can this be possible ?

I regard myself as being beyond such things as e-love.  

I really need advice on what  to do to get her off my mind .

Thank you.

CS

i really dont understand why u want to get her off ur mind. U just said u've fallen for her. Is that not wat u want or u've been looking for?

Moreover, u need nobody's help if u dont want her. Nobody pushed u into it in the first place. It's ur call brother, if u dont want her, just tell her. that should do it.

El Gators:
My boyfriends cousin who is extremely wealthy is asking me to sleep with him and he'll buy me a car for my next birthday. I'm not considering the offer, it's just that i don't know if to tell my boyfriend?. He practically worships his wealthy cousin as his cousin made him what he is today. I'm confused.

i see nothing to get confused about in this issue except u have a moral problem. Morally speaking, the best thing to do is to tell ur b/f immediately (cousin or no cousin)

on the otherway, if u are not so serious abt the relationship, u could as well consider the offer and get wateva u could get but it still boils down to the fact that u will be stabbing ur b/f in the back. If u hav conscience at all, i believe u wont do that.

My opinion: Tell him fast and put the randy cousin where he belongs.

personally, it's strictly NO!!!

why? it can be very messy and distracting.

Nautillus:
@iice. . .Situation here in Naija is completely different from whats obtainable oversees

@Esosa . .bruv, i will tell you the truth . .older man to younger man. . .YOU GUYZ HAVE a 1/10000 chance of surviving ^{your relationship that is}. .another one year together.
Don't even dream the marriage thing because. . .YOU . .you know that its NEVER Gonna happen now. . .haba. . you think your Parents who are already paying thru there nose for your school _{and most probably your younger once}. .will foot your bill . , thats even going to far. . .will approve that you marry now? ? ?

Esosa . . .Read your books. . .Keep your relationship running . .but sinserely. . .Get ready . . .Your gal is out of school . .She has stepped into a new stage . . .a stage you are yet to experience . . .THINGS will BE DIFFERENT soon.

Brace yourself

_{. . .But on the real . .I could be wrong}

i think i will go with u!!. the truth they say is bittter.

@poster, dont be discouraged, it is a possibility that ur relationship will end in marriage but i wont mince words wit u, it is ONE IN A MILLION.

like u said, both of u are age-mates, she's out of skool while u will be done in 2011.(exclusive of service year i'm sure). It's a long shot brother considering the fact that she will be in the working class level by then. Let me tell u, as it is, ur lady will be thinking of settling down in the next three years (that's the maximum) and u wont still be ready be then.

I know it will hurt but i will advise u to prepare ur mind for the worst. I aint saying u should opt out; make her happy, affect her life positively and BE HAPPY TOO. at least, u both deserve that after all u've been thru but dont ne suprised if she calls it off someday.

that's my opinion (doesn't really mean it's the best).

p.s: i'm not totally ruling out a possibility that ur relationship will end well, just be careful and watchful.

kunmibola:
@The seeker,
she told me she has learnt her lessons and dt she believes im d best man 4 her.she remorseful cos she startd cryin.i deliberately did nt cal her since then bt she calld me 2 ask wy i did nt call her.afterwards, she calld my sister and dy were chattin.
Secondly,i cant rmembr givin her any amount dts a big deal.infact,she used 2 give me money then.

going by ur comments after all that has been said, i will conculde u still hav feelings for this lady and u only want people to encourage u to take her back cos u are sounding like u are defending her.

Well, we can only advise u and i'm sure quite a lot of people that have commented on this issue are speaking/talking from experience. U can either heed the advice people are giving or u can draw ur own conclusions and make ur own decisions.

TheSeeker:
When you talked to her and she apologized, [color=#000099]what reason did she give for her past actions?[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color] Before the problem started, what rate have you been spending on her? When she used to come to you, do you pay for her transport?

Furthermore, u still haven't answer the question mentioned above (i mean the couloured part) or she gave u no reasons?

legendd:
i really would want to get people's opinions on what relationships are all about. Is it about the sex, is it about two hearts being turned into one, is it about sharing life with someone else, is it about pleasure, just my different opinions. What do the naira lander have to say

i will say relationship is about two people (irrespective of the sex) moving, talking, sharing, relating, discussing with each other to achieve a certain level of understanding btw them.

But i'm sure the relationship u are talking abt is between guys and babes. Then i will say people go into relationships in order to know their partners so well (i mean inside out) and if possible take it to the next level that is, settlling down. To some people, sex goes along wit relationships but it's not a must. The main reason why we go into relationship is to discover people of like minds, togetherness and ultimately to find genuine love.

p.s not all relationships work out the way we desire. we just need to keep trying.

Ujujoan:
@ Tosyne,

If you know about me, you’ll know I have little or no good thing to say about guys. It’s nothing personal, just the way I think. So I’ll advise you to kool yourself, no need getting worked up for nothing.

You do have a point, a clear conscience in theory is very good, but in practice, well, let’s just say life doesn’t work that way.

I only brought the topic to NL cos I intend to show her what other people think about it. She relies on me a lot and I don’t want to mislead her. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my own opinion.

cool!!!

i aint getting worked up. Just trying to put u straight and it's so sad that u hav nothing good to say abt guys. (i guess u r talking from experience). Wateva the case may be, pls dont eva think all guys are thesame.

i neva said u shouldn't express ur mind or share ur opinions but u have no right to throw insults. Like u said, ur friend believes in ur judgement, that's the more reason why u need to listen and read people views in order to draw the right conclusions. We are all here to help/assist one anoda and also to learn from our experiences.

I still insist she tells!!! and if the b/f loves her as u said, he should hav the heart to forgive and forgo her past.

izeek:
in my years i have cometo realise that secrets dont stay hidden.

thatnk you jare!!!

Ujujoan:
I think the girl stands a chance if she doesn’t tell. Forgive me but guys have small brains. It’s not about her sleeping with a guy; it’s about the fact that he knows the person in question. I just thought it’ll ruin everything if she tells.

Whitelexi, why d you think its won’’t work anyway? He loves her enough to want to take her as his wife. if the secret can be preserved, what’s to stand in the way of their being together?

@ 1zeek, I know it’s difficult for you to comprehend, but this world is indeed a very small place.

My friend thinks her ex will tell on her and make not only her BF hate her, but here prospective in-laws. Personally I don’t think he’ll tell, cos he deceived her into the relationship in the first place. And he cheated on his wife. so he won’t be quick to reveal their secret.

i wonder why u posted the topic in the first place since u have a BIG brain and u are wise. Why dont u go ahead and advise ur friend not to tell and make sure u are there when it blows up in her face. I really cant comprehend why u think the brother-in-law will not say anything. Blood they say is thicker than water. WHAT IF HE TELLS? did u ever think of that!!.

U dont have to get insultive when people are sharing their views, u are supposed to read and learn. How do u want people to contribute when u refer to them as 'PEA BRAINS'. i will advise u mind ur choice of words. We are only trying to help ur friend and if u dont appreciate iur contributions, just say it and we will get off this topic not by referring to the guys as "PEA BRAINS'

watch ur tongue woman!!!

gen2genius:
Tosyne, the brother-in-law CHEATED on his wife, and you think he'll disclose what happened without incurring the wrath of his wife and family?

i agree wit u that the man cheated on his wife. But dont forget that the man is married and it's always a bit difficult to break a home (i mean DIVORCE). the case will only end at the husband pleading and apologising to his wife and she will hav no choice than to accept the apology most especially if they hav kids already.

but the lady in question will only jeopardise her future ifshe decides to be silent and keep the b/f in the dark. She will always live in fear of her brother-in-law if eventually they settle down. So, it;s better she trash out the case once and for all.

that's my suggestion.

whitelexi:
My body says "Tell him", but my mind says "It wont work anyway"

wateva the outcome, she would hav a clear conscience.

She should give it a shot and keep her fingers crossed.

[quote author=dtp_chic link=topic=296047.msg4180753#msg4180753 date=1247515706]Pls nairalanders,i need ur help, can you redate ur ex who has cheated on u before and is back with promises of change[/quote]are u saying u have not met or dated anybody after ur so-called ex left u?

are u saying there are no guys who are far better than ur ex? Have u ever thouhgt of why he left u in the first place? (i'm sure becos u aint good enuf)

so, i dont think it's worth it to make-up with him and wat assurance do u hav that he's not planning to use u and walk way AGAIN.

think abt it sweetie!!!

gen2genius:
Do you really think the brother-in-law will have the guts to reveal his her shameful past, seeing it will implicate him too?

implicate in wat sense? the brother-in-law is happily married and nobody will giv a damn abt wat he did some years back.

The main reason for this discussion is to save the lady's relationship and future. The brother-in-law has nothing to lose but the lady "has a lot to lose".

izeek:
uju,
are u sure say this tory nah 4 real!
cos i dont believe in coincidence.

how do u mean? are u saying the story is a fluke? Or do u by chance know who the poster is?

biola44:
if not controlled

many of u guys r only scared of what u might find out!

i believe wat u dont know wont hurt you.

there are somtins that are better imagined.

so, i wouldn't do it if IT'S POSSIBLE!!!

@poster,

i will suggest u advise ur friend very well and quickly too. Not telling will be a grave mistake. The earlier she tells her current b/f, the better for her ooo. How long does she plan to keep it that way? Since the b/f is serious abt the relationship and planning to settle down wit her, he must hav been discussing her wit his family and sooner or later, the brother will know.

personally. i believe it's good for one to share his/her past with the partner (i mean wat could be told). It's better for the b/f to hear the whole gist from her rather from his brother and if he loves her like u said, he wont hold it against her but will be prepared to face the family wit her.

advise her to act fast b4 it's too late.

[quote author=M-Show link=topic=295997.msg4180100#msg4180100 date=1247508148]Come to think of it guys !! am a young beautiful woman Police, how do guys tend to appreciate Police Women as spouses and future life partners. I believe and stand to be corrected that Police women tend to make reliable housewives. If you have not had a woman police as girl friend you may just try it out.
[/quote]i'm very sceptical about this. Naturally and personally, i detest policemen(women). I belive they are corrupt and greedy people. They are the most corrupt individuals after politicians. So, i really can't imagine how a corrupt person will make a good wife or husband. This is my own opinion anyway. No insult intended.

naijachix:
search ur hrt and be sure of what u want. she obviously is not ready for a serious relationship.

i agree wit u.

@poster, i guess this lady is not matured enuf for a serious relationship. (dont forget that maturity does not neccessarily mean the age bracket). I can't understand why someone you claim to love will always insult u over minor issues. My advice is that u sit her down and talk things over wit her. Make her understand that u r not okay with her attitudes and if she's not ready to change, then u better opt out of the relationship.

Don't ever try to manage a relationship all in the name of love cos it might backfire.

brother, apply wisdom.

C2H5OH:
So what if she's supposedly planning the said wedding. Dude you shouldn't be abandoned like that. Talk to her about your concerns dude. You have every right to be concerned about being neglected. You are in a relationship with a woman you think is the love of your life, and at a very crucial time like this when you feel you should be getting showered with even more love from her you're actually feeling like a loner. Sit her down NOW and address this issue. Don't wait until after you are tied to her forever to find out if it's only a temporary occurence.

Anyway sha

C'mon!!! why is ur own answer different form the fold. According to the poster, the lady happens to be the woman of his dreams so, i dont think he should be bothered cos it's a temporary thing. it will definately pass.

@poster, put ur mind to rest. she's urs and will always be. u made us understand she has always been a good girl and this whole complaints of urs ia about 'NEGLECT'. Just give her little time and she will get over it. Give her all the support she needs and make the marriage worthwhile. you can only raise dust when the neglect continues after the festivities.

hold on to ur wifey bro.

conjugal bliss in advance.

bro, i'm sure u dont expect her to make the first move. U r a man for crying out loud and u "should take the bull by the horn".

the earlier u make the move, the cheaper for you. If she's a sweet girl, i'm sure u aint the only one eyeing her in ur church or probably her area. So, any smart guy could come around and sweep her off her feet while u are still brooding over who is to make the first move.

i will suggest u zoom in fast and conclude the deal. Ladies hardly appreciate slow and indecisive guys anyway.