₦airaland Forum

op it is impossible to truly love someone and cheat on them.
if u love someone the thought of doing something that would in any way bring harm to them would not even cross ur mind.
Cheating is not just about the betrayal of trust it is also endangering the life of your partner by exposing them to all manner of STD's.
Abeg there is no excuse.

XVIER: if I'm eating moi moi let me know I'm eating moi moi and if I'm eating ekuru let me know I'm eating ekuru. but the day she will miss them for me... ...... ........ .. ....... i will let her know i paid dowry before i intended assisting her into my house.

Your post is sexist!!! just saying

Oahray: When we say feminism is anti-marriage and anti-family, you femi-nazis would cry foul. Here:

1) An obvious strawman. When did men say submission is THE recipe for a success? Hard work is the recipe for success, and at times such hard work is rubbished by arrogant insubordination. If you or your pseudo-Reverend knew the least about social psychology, you'd have realised that dominance and submission is a recurring theme in all human and animal relationships even between platonic friends.

2) I like the way the first two questions are asked without adding marriage to the picture, so you femnists can shift goal posts when you like. I would answer the way it was asked. The key advantage of female submission is the same as the key advantage of male submission to higher (managerial or political) authority. It helps stem unnecessary conflict and it's effect.

3) There's no real 50-50 partnership anywhere in the world that doesn't involve signing legal documents to that effect. Why? To stem future conflict. Why? The average human likes to be dominant over 'equals'. How does this relate to marriage? The man and the woman are not equals in every sense of the word.

Women are generally physically weaker than men. The average woman is more emotional than logical, unlike the average man. Many women have fluctuating emotions because of hormonal issues (pms and post-natal depression anyone?)

A submissive woman helps build up her home and earns the admiration/respect of her husband (if he's reasonable).

4) About the same reason you femi-nazis call every criticism of women misogyny. If you grab every chance to attack the generality of the male folk without ever praising the good parts as if there isn't any, if you blame them for your misfortunes (but never yourself), exaggerate bias against women but downplay bias against men, and bring up gender equality only when it suits the female-folk; face the truth, you are a bitter, man-hating feminist. If you maintain that women don't need men, that makes you lesbian.

5) Many men are brought up from childhood (a mother is usually involved in this training) to believe they are the natural heads of the family. For this, some do not bother trying to earn the respect of their wives. If you BELIEVE you are the head of your firm, how would you view an employee who likes to think you have no right to set any rules? Be sincere.

6) Same reason some people (male and female) defraud others who are trusting. Same reason some ladies lie to get men in prison for a _rape that never happened. Same reason some women maim or kill their innocent babies. It's not because they are men. It's because they are terrible persons.

7) If a man is a monster, he deserves to be treated as one. If he isn't, don't give a dog a bad name so you can hang it.

8 ) Societal norms, family upbringing (including those mothers who pamper their sons), religion. Such a view is as widespread as the view that you must never hit a woman, no matter what she does. Same source, same flaws.

9) See number (6) above. In addition, although domestic violence is bad, a woman should try not to provoke the man unnecessarily with her tongue. There's no monopoly of abuse (verbal abuse is also abuse)

10) Again, it's not because they are men. It's because they are reasonable persons. That's a man that has earned his wife's respect and natural SUBMISSION. Conflict doesn't result in happy families. It could also be because they have a wife who isn't a bitter, selfish, man-hating, blame-pushing feminist.

NB: You feminists seem to have a warped view of submission. It doesn't mean being a puppet or blind obedience. It's simply letting the other person lead. In a group of women, there's always a natural leader. For whatever reason the other women look up to her and let her lead (even without realizing it). Why is submission an issue when it involves men?

When did feminism come into this now did the op say she was a feminist abeg leave us alone oh.

You are mostly right in all the thing u have said.There are certainly more important things than virginity.however we should not belittle the merits and advantages of waiting till marriage.It is a special gift and a virtue that we should encourage.

Tell everybody including the police that he is threatening and tell him u told everyone and that if anything happens to u he will be blamed.And make sure u find a way to return his money either drop it at his house or deposit it in his account.

Op support all the way

Its ur choice my dear dont let anybody intimidate u into doing what they want
if u dont want to change it dont.

Mostly women in the north that suffer like this

For taking a piece of fish from the cooking pot, 34 year old Fatima Bankole (pictured above) said she got the beating of her life from her husband, Alhaji Kamoru Bankole, on Wednesday July 16th and now has 26 stitches on her face as a result of the brutal assault.

Narrating what led to the attack, Fatima, who is one of three wives, said as wives of the Alhaji, they had a roaster for cooking. She said on the day any of them cooked, they would first dish for their husband, then the children before serving themselves.

She said on the day of the attack, the last wife had finished her cooking and served their husband and the children. She, Fatima, then went for her own meal but as soon as the third wife saw her food, she immediately went to report to their husband that Fatimah had taken the largest chunk of fish in the pot.
Not listening to her explanation that she only took pieces of fish scattered in the pot, their husband descended on her with punches to her face. She said she bled for hours and was thereafter locked up in a room for three days before she found a way of escape.

She said her husband had physically assaulted her several times in the past and even gave an account of a previous attack where her husband pulled her hair until it hurt so bad it gave her head injuries.
After her escape, Fatimah was assisted to the hospital by her neighbors. Her husband has since been arrested after a petition by a Women Arise civil group in Lagos. He is expected to be in court next week.

Source: Sahara Reporters
Women are suffering sha oh Who says we dont need feminism
[img]http://2.bp..com/-bURZ08KhH0M/U9OHJQgDWHI/AAAAAAADPbs/U341UK3kV94/s1600/unnamed0.jpg[/img]

Reduction of bride price to almost nothing.
Women are not commodities to be bought and sold to the highest bidder

When we make kids the most important thing in marriage how would the women not want to protect them
she is only protecting the assets she has in her husband house jare they are precious to her.

MadCow1: You obviously would not be a submissive wife..

Goodluck with Spinsterhood.

Thank u

MadCow1: www.nairaland.com/attachments/1564170_image_jpeg9f360c5ab7736510df54c882e9dbf188

Just Imagine the nonsense..

This is why I dont Negotiate sex..


When I am ready.. I just blow my whistle and she knows its go time. Fhuck your not being ready or in the mood.

If you aint bleeding, then there is no acceptable excuse for why I cant get some.

Better lay down quietly and spread those legs, OR..

U r disgusting

I love this right up abeg.OP is on point

Let me just say that since most of the advisers are saying the man should give the brother then we can use the same logic to say that if a women has a jobless husband she should give the her brother or sister the job.

Weah96: You claim that your deity is not only real but all powerful, yet you spend all day defending him like a councillor. For weeks now, this deity hasn't spoken one single word to me. Only you and your kind are here.

Just have faith and ask for something u will see how he will deliver

J12: Makes no sense. Men are still more mentally and physically productive than women even after all these years of equality and feminism- Almost all millionaires and billionaire are men (all over the world). Almost all entrepreneurs, captains of industries are men, leaders of thought; men still control society and government, etc.
Going by the writers reasoning of using mental output and productivity as the standard for superiority, then it should be fair to say that men are superior to women and we should demand and expect subordination and submission from women. Bill Gates should treat Melinda Gates as a slave right?
But that's not how it's supposed to be. Mutual respect shouldn't be based on economic and mental output as the writer is suggesting, if it were so, the world would be very unfair to women since men perform better than women in those aspects naturally. Its a civic, social and humane responsibility to treat each other as equals for the sake of the future, our conscience and our happiness.

considering that women have only be competing for less than i century i would say we have made a huge amount of progress.

whether u like it or not feminism is here to stay
if u like talk about how unnatural and foolish u think it is from now till tommorrow there will always be women on the side of equal rights
can u imagine u want respect simply because u were born with a stick between ur legs,my friend park well.You can as well move to another planet because the earth is changing and moving the way of equality and there is nothing u can do to stop it.

lokito: It works wella especially when the arranged damsel is not too exposed...

These city girls ain't loyal
Internet racketeering has beclouded their sense of reasoning
Chatting and searching for men on Badoo, FB,whatsapp posting pictures, wallowing and twerking like 3D cartoon on instagram just to get LIKE they can't convert to money.

Those days, make love to your woman in 10 seconds she is ok and everybody is good. Try it these days you'll see her complaining on NL like a she-goat "my man is a 1minute man"
Holla at your woman or get her angry... she'll quit and say "i've moved on". sometimes she'll wake up in the middle of the night and be staring at you. In her mind she'll be like "if I say make I press your neck now kill you die here nko"

Lemme stop here. Such works cause both the arranged will do everything not to disappoint the arrangers

Have a blessed day friends

Do u see how in ur senerio only men are benefiting?
what do u mean 10 seconds love making?so that only u will be satisfied abi.

dat kitchen is like closet it is too small

rattlesnake: hmmm

WHAT DO U SEE MY PEOPLE

GOODNIGHT

lol the pictures u r very funny

Procastination!!! my weakness

instead of the dude to just admit that he wanted to dump her since he is giving foolish excuses.
the boyfriend is an animal for hitting her.

very true op.

Iko5000: Do you know if they where rape ?

english

normaljenny: My brother, I have seen lots of advices here some are good and some are not good. Kneeling down and begging for forgiveness is no big deal. I can do it too with like 20 mins crying added to it. My candid advice is:

1. Don't hate her and don't send her away.

2. Request for the documents as it should be in your possession.

3. If she refuses to give u the documents.

4. Stop sleeping in same room with her.

5. Change your phone number and keep her off ur contacts whatever. Facebook, twitter. Etc

6. Don't you ever, ever eat her food. because if she finds out through the advise of her friends,mother, or pastor that you are becoming a pain in the ass, then she can be compelled to act rashly and if u should die, she would get another hubby in a year, and as she is getting so ambitious now, she has the automatic ownership to all your stuffs.

7. Threat her like a stranger in the house.

8. Don't ever have family discussions with her.

9. Behave as if your life depends on it.

10. Let it stretch for like two to three months.

11. When she comes for begging,don't give in immediately.

12. There shall not be a third party in the reconciliation scene. It should just you and her.

13. Trying to knw if the pastor is screwing her is a past thing. Just keep the past off from it.

14. But meet the foolish pastor and tell him bluntly that if you ever see him 250 meters close to any member of your household, that you will "kill" him.

15. Get a court injuction on him calling your wife or getting close to your family.

16. Withdraw the matter from your family and her family meddling in to solve. Keep them out of it. And your friends too. Only you and your wife can save your marriage.

17. Tell her you want a divorce and see how she would react to it. If she is shocked at and scared at it, then know she wants her marriage to stay, but if she is not, then know that can be the last option (deutoronomy. 24:1-4).

18. As you start it, dedicate a week fasting & prayer to God, for the purpose of keeping the family imtact and ask God to reveal hidden things to you, as I to know if the pastor has voodoo on her, because I don't trust most of all these pastors with their wack powers.

19. Lastly, don't joke with your life. E no get duplicate.

rubbish advise

nayef: You will surely end up single!

u lie

Nashville: So your wife is not that terrible, at least she was begging for forgiveness. If she has truly changed, you will know and the trust will come back. Bros, marriage can be tough and sometimes people make stupid mistakes like your wife just did. She just may have been given bad advice. But you dont throw away all those blessings because of that single mstake. We all sin against God and ask for forgiveness. You should also practice forgiveness but completely forgiving your wife. And if she were truly sorry, she would hand over the keys to the house to you.

[b][quote author=Nashville]handing over key to the house that she built with her own salary,if she hands over the key and op takes it that means that op's problem is jeolousy

smartchoice: No man deserves to be treated like that!
Outta your life send her immediately...but wait plot it well, don't confront her @ all...till you're ready to send her packing....BTW check your children's paternity...urgently I TRUST NO MAN OF GOD!..... Confirm and be sure they're your children n not the Father (no one is a reverend!)
Stop eating her food or drinks....POISON 101,

are you a child talking about send her away send her away as if a wife is like a car or property to discard easily.there are always two sides of a story maybe the woman did not tell you because she felt that you would be angry as you are now that she is becoming successful.

my advise to op,sit her down and explain that you are partners,reassure her that you have her back and will like her to reach her maximum potential as a person but that you would like her to be able to confide in you.