₦airaland Forum

Before some will come here and shout that feminist will not say anything. Let me the commission of feminists on Nairaland say that we highly detest such act. We believe that every child has a right to education and love. Any person found to be abusing a child must face the full wrath of the law whether male or female. Thank you.

Like my friend will say. Soldier go soldier come Barack remain. Happy married life my dear.

Communication is key. Let him know how his actions or in this case inaction affects you.

But these r old pictures now

Post makes no sense. If he want to cheat he will cheat. Besides if he knows how to do it well its d woman that will be begging him. Instead some rather go at like they r pounding yam

Then don't date them. No need to try to change anyone. Just move on.

JohnIbori:
So I met this guy 8yrs ago on twitter, we connected instantly and before we knew it we were in hot love. Like most relationships, ours had its ups and downs. We later broke up for a while and both moved to Canada individually about 3years ago, somehow he reached out to me, we met up and rekindled our relationship (all the while we were dating he had a GF) perhaps this is the place where I tell you all we are both guys.
He's always telling me how much he loves me and how he's not sure he can live with the pain if we ever break up again and heaven knows, I love this guy too so much.

Fast forward to September 2017 (Last month) I found out he was getting married to his long time gf not even directly from him, I was in his house and his friends were talking about aso ebi. Then they asked me if I would come to Lagos for the wedding. I was shocked because I didn't expect someone I call my bf to have made such plans behind my back. I didn't even know he had proposed to the girl. and I wasn't devastated because I had always expected it.

I didn't confront him about it, I never brought it up with him at all. Maybe he got tired of it all and decided to officially tell me by saying "Oga, I'm getting married next month in case you haven't noticed". Just like that, out of the blues. In all of this I was calm because I had always expected it, I just thought I'd be given at least 6 months notice to get my sh*t together
He's getting married on Saturday and still called me yesterday to say he misses me. When the was talking all I could think of was his wife and how we were disrespecting her. (Ps: I don't know her)

Now I know I'm being selfish because last last I will marry a girl too, it's just I once told him we're out of Naija we can bullshit everyone's opinion and fucking get married in Canada no-one has to come so far we're happy but no, he's doing it for his family he says, I'm the first born he says. Ultimately I wish him a happy married life and I've concluded staying away from him and his marriage even though I know it'll cause me pain and that's not what he wants but I have to respect myself and not end up being the Bob risky in his life.

He has told me he'll call off the wedding if I ask him to, but I know that's not what he wants. A friend even advised me to go for the wedding that it might help make things easier if I get to see his "wife" but I can't help feeling I'll stand up when they ask who doesn't want these two to be together.
He still thinks things can be like they were even after his wedding and a part of me wants that as well, but I know our bread can never be toast again.

What can I do?

Its really hard being a gay person from an African background and I can understand the pressure on ur Bf's part. I would say however that u should not settle for less. U cannot share him with his wife because even though his body will be yours his duty will be with his new family. I suggest u find a way to move on. Its not easy dating someone still in the closet but there is a limit to which u can take. The limit is when they marry someone else. U cant find ur own happiness and bliss if he is still taking up emotional real estate in your heart knowing its not gonna lead anywhere.

Attention seeker! We have noticed your foolishness.

Let me act like guys on nairaland.
You must have done something to deserve it. Do u cook good food for her?. Do wash her cloths regularly.?Do u lay urself as mattress for her to sleep on? If the answer to any of this is no then u r a bad husband.

Op u r very correct. Only ones that will not like this are people who want to be willfully ignorant because it benefits them to think of feminism as evil.

Someone cheated on you and u trust her enough to think that a guy sitting on her bed and whispering in her ear is innocent. Its like brokeness has made you
foolish

MissRaine69:
Eerrr I think being over very over weight/obese has been proven to lead to an early death. There is heavy set and then there is obese. Aunty might be confident good for her but it's not healthy.

I agree being overweight is unhealthy but it is extremely hard to lose and instead of worrying worrying urself sick. Just take each day as it comes and learn to be happy

Very beautiful. Its important to be confident especially about things that r hard to change because worrying urself over weight and all leads to more weight.

Benita27:
Madam you were having a sexual orientation conversation with a total stranger, and a man for that matter?. You should be lucky he didn't rape you.

You don't indulge strangers in sex conversations 'cause some will get the wrong ideas of things.

Nigerians instead of u to direct ur anger to the perpetrator of the crime u will always look for a way to blame the victim. Did she tell u she talked to the driver about her sexual orientation? Maybe he just did it as many stupid motorists are know to do to women and later through social media we know she's a lesbian

Nigerian fathers. Later they will say their children take care of the mum more. Y won't they when u can't even behave like a father to ur children

so?

faithful-100/100

The man that picks up a lady he just met when he has a wife on the way is also promiscuous. They both deserve each other.

MrFuckallday:
Shut up you bloody feminist and appreciate a sense of humor when you see one. You ain't Finna be all hypocritical on me ces it's girls in that picture. Would you have quoted me to say trash if it were males up there and a female wrote what I did? Please get out of my mentions.

Dont tell me to shut up. Just because I spoke the truth. can't u make ur point without insulting me?. U are too immature. Off course I speak out more for girls . 1 in 3 women in the world will be sexually assaulted. Can u say the same for men? Please look around ur society who gets assaulted more? Words matter and your words speak of Rape.

flex04:
is dat one rape? re u afear?

Yes itcis rape. In your example did u mention anything about the lady giving consent?

MrFuckallday:
If I catch em I'll just tear those leggings and insert Preeq immediately. Their father

The way u guys casually throw rape around is alarming. U should be ashamed of this thing u posted

DeGuyNxtDoor:
Greetings my friends.... I actually entrusted my feeding and some other things to a girl I pay well for her services ""#15,000 a month"" (even though she's yet to receive her first pay as I just employed her yesterday). I have a small place at work too where I sleep whenever i worked late hours of the night, so my cloths and a little important belongings are there. In fact, I spent the Sunday there yesterday. {Pics added}



So this morning, I wanted to have breakfast, I asked her to make me some which she did and brought to my room, asked her to come in and she didn't, I had to go to the door my self before she gave me the food with this heavy frown on her face lol, I wondered what the matter could be but still can't remember where I've wronged the girl who's proly in her early 20s. I collected the meal and headed back in to eat before going downstairs to start work. I washed the plates my self when done and she didn't even bring me water which I did my self.


Now yesterday's evening before heading up to sleep, I washed some cloths which I dried outside. Then this afternoon when it was about to rain, I remembered the cloths and called her on phone to go get the cloths for me to avoid it being beaten by the rain. She did actually but brought it straight to my office, imagine! I calmly asked her to take it upstairs where my colleagues have their mini places too. She got the frown as she looked at me with the heap of cloths in her arms, she collected the keys and went upstairs to drop them.

She's gone home already but then, I keep wondering... What's with this attitude of hers? I never did anything to her, I don't even give her much attention or whatever looks like that. But I'm wondering, if she thinks the pay's too small for a girl her age... I'm confused.

If it is ur sister will u ask her to enter into the bedroom of a man she just met yesterday? She doesn't trust u and its normal. Wait until she does

NwaAmaikpe:



I hope the lucky guy who saw them in that state did not just take pictures and leave?


This is a gift.

What u r talking about is sexual assault. They r to intoxicated to give consent

Lol. I laughed for 3 mins when I read this. Comedians everywhere.

I just love toke

Don't go back oh. That's how domestic abusers always beg until they kill you.

They deserve each other. They should marry and have an open relationship

I just hope this is a fake story. If not u r a bastard

People around you are hungry yet you gave someone an extra car that I am sure he does not need.

Please who asked them to carry this load.
There is a saying that " Heavy is the head that wears the Crown".
In other to share some of the responsibility you should also share some of the power.
If you want your children to appreciate you maybe find a woman that can shoulder some of the financial responsibilities and you can shoulder some of the child development activities.
Later now if feminists are fighting for equal power and responsibility they would be the first to jump and say children and household caretaking are the woman's responsibility now you are crying.

I know some will come here and make excuses for this man.