OK, you guys are important to me so I going to TRY to explain how I feel one more time. If you have been following the trail of my posts you may know that I am in love with a guy who is already married. I got a lot of flak from you guys on that issue, homebreaker etc! Still it happens to people and we really love each other (I know sounds cliche) He treats me so well and although we do fight (as passionately as we love), I know he is the one person I can trust in this world. Together we show each other what it is to truly live. So you will ask, why doesnt he marry me? , He has 2 kids who he loves very much and is himself torn as to what to do. I decided to not make it tough for him and his kids and to leave. Try as we did, we just have too much fun when we are together that it was not easy to leave. Of course I want to get married and have kids but not by breaking his home. I dont think he would be happy that way either. We have tried MANY times to break up. He also understands this and says that if he cannot provide me what would make me happy then he does not want to stop me from seeking it out.

SO I met this guy online. We hit it off and he is coming next month to seal the deal. My guy know all about it and though it upsets him he is actually supportive (!) WHat do I do?? The new guy is actually like my guy in some ways (mature etc) and I think I can be happy with him and make him happy. I deserve a chance at happiness in my life dont I? You guys have abused me a lot and maybe i deserve some of it but I am just a girl trying to find my horizon, my goal. I know the day I finally leave my guy it will be like a bride leaving her childhood home, and there will be tears. But I feel I am being brave to go ahead with my life.

And I know I can devote myself to new guy and be sincere to him. So f**k you all

People, I think this is getting tooooo melodramatic here!!! Read the entire story(earlier posts) and then comment, I am sick of your blashpemous behavior! I am a LIVE person sitting here entangled in serious situation and you guys are busy with your own songs!!! I think you people are being just too emotional or impractical here, Stop it now!!!

I think I have made my mind, as stated earlier!!!

Thanks to your fingers(only, not minds/hearts) and regret the pain I caused to them for writing these thron-like comments!!!

Hello everyone,

I never expected anyone to understand this but this is my truth and reality. People who really love someone would understand what love is and how difficult it is to control and apply mind where your heart gives up! I was swayed and seen the troughs and crests in this relationship for three damn years. I have lived and loved and now moving on for good! The fact that the decision is wise and good for my ex and me, its very easy to sit there and throw rotten tomotoes on someone! My ex stood by me in the worst times, he supported and brought out the best in/out of me. Again, I DON'T EXPECT ANYONE TO UNDERSTAND!!!!

I wish few years later I come here to say that I am happily married!!!

Hello Everyone,

I have had all kinds of feedbacks and suggestions, Many thanks for barinstorming but I think Reality4 makes sense. This guy must have had "n" no. of affairs(who knows) and may be he wouldn't tell me about everything, wud he? Even some of the stories he discusses of his past how do I react to it, it is so unnecessary/ irrelevant!!! I am not telling him about my affair and relationship because I don't want to disgrace the former relationship and I had seriosly loved that person for so long!!!! It took time for me to come out of everything and form my mind to marry someone else for good. If I am positively thinking about getting married to a guy and dedicating my LIFE to him forever, where is the problem

Some pages of our life are so black/secretive that we don't even want to think about them ourselves. How do you expect me to break someone's heart or ruin his trust/whatever for this kind of unnecessary thing. I have decided to move on with this guy, get married to him and spend rets of my life with him!!! I would cheat on him ever why will he doubt me and how will he find out. Only my concern is, he will know that I am not a virgin( which he wud have guessed when I told him I am coming from a couple of bad relationships),

I know truth is the foundation of a relationship but sometimes somethings better not said!!!

@yankite, I dun understand a word here, looking for some serious advice but peope are busy doing their own stuff here!!!

But If I dun tell him he will not know!!! I am trying to start all new and with full dedictaion with him,

Guys, at last I understand and have given up on the hope that we belong together!

I have a marriage scene going on and I think I am going to get married to this guy soon who is coming to see me from overseas. There is one thing I am scared about which I haven't told him, about my relationship with this guy because I know I can never tell this to anyone ever!!! We were physically togather and very much involved till very recent! If the new guy I am getting married to comes to know out this he'll freak out or probably our marriage will fall apart because I told him last time I was in relationship was mid year 2006, I am really scared! I understand this is weird but the most righteous thing to do right now is keeping quiet, for the sake of everyone. His family, my new relationship. Help me how will this happen? would the guy find out that I have been active and have been lying to him all this time or what?

Sammy, yeah. I said this because people have been time and again asking me to chuck him outta ma life on nairaland. I am used to hearing nasty stuff, kickass stuff here which works as a motivation to this topic , and you know I wish I knew how to let this not disturb me, I am sick and looking sick, people think I am unwell

Oh God! He annoys me, when I chat on net with someone or anything he as to poke his nose ok? He had my password all the time, I changed it a month ago and not that I told him about it but he did not remember, he had access to my stuff and still he interpreted things his way people! A simple chat was misinterpreted and then I was annoyed and deleted the entire chat history which made him ballistic! He accused me of things I never thought he would, I can be impulsive as well right, and I did delete everything with that state of mind!

I am tired of pursuading him and people thisis one thing I am narrating do you think I can tell all the stories about our fight here? Huh, btw my doubt is that This guy who could never go any further without me is falling for some girl, in his past 7 years ago used to work with him and a divorcee and now she calls him off n on and even to make me jealous at time, who knows he's throwing all these tantrums to just get outta this relationship, I don't like wallaing in self pity n all but m trying to cope up and trying to not be alone by one or the other mean,

Why the Bleep are men so disgusting!!!

I dunno why I come back here time and again to get slammed by you people, some weird earlier replies. May be this is the place where I can express my frustration in life, I am so PO with everything. I dunno if I am desereved to be hearing all those weird things and distrust my Love has shown to me. I am all broken and devastated once again. All because of the series of jealous retortions we are at the verge, almost done now. Sad part is we have involved so many with us.

Do you have to share you passwords with your beloved people? Where to draw a line? And how long to answer his questions when you already know that he doesn't beleive anything you say and if you keep quiet it sounds guilty. I am so chocked, so destroyed, so used, so tired of these wreckless moments

Why men love their assumptions more than reality folks? As if all this time wsa nothing, for one little thing everything else has come for a toss People tell me, how do I get over this guy I don't care being lonely or anything else but just get rid of this annoying, suspicious, and distrustful affair?

I dunno why I come back here time and again to get slammed by you people, some weird earlier replies. May be this is the place where I can express my frustration in life, I am so PO with everything. I dunno if I am desereved to be hearing all those weird things and distrust my Love has shown to me. I am all broken and devastated once again. All because of the series of jealous retortions we are at the verge, almost done now. Sad part is we have involved so many with us.

Do you have to share you passwords with your beloved people? Where to draw a line? And how long to answer his questions when you already know that he doesn't beleive anything you say and if you keep quiet it sounds guilty. I am so chocked, so destroyed, so used, so tired of these wreckless moments

Why men love their assumptions more than reality folks? As if all this time wsa nothing, for one little thing everything else has come for a toss People tell me, how do I get over this guy I don't care being lonely or anything else but just get rid of this annoying, suspicious, and distrustful affair?

Never tried doing that, I love this man despite everything and I never intend to break his home or anything but cn't stay away from him

I wish someone could understand what ship I'm sailin in and how it feels like to be in my position,but I have increased my toleration power and grown mature with this over period!!!

Hey Shynap and all you well wishers, I think I am now more strong seeing this man not paying any attention to me nor taking me any seriously.He talks too casually with me like, "I overate this weekend , "

In the rearview I was a pride female guess though sentimental but fair, I cried,sobbed,begged,died,burnt and did everything weak whenever I was channelized to , I know I spent a lovely time with this man and It was so beautiful that even the thought of it brings tears to my eyes and I feel like running back to him, but there's a big difference between my feelings and his world.He is very different from what I percieved he was,not even a bit emotional otherwise how could he have tolerated my pain and stayed apart.His eyes give a strange expression or rather no expression , the person who was merged in me yesterday looks like a stranger to me, I can feel his body, his heat ,his touch how can he forget?

I thought he was the most perfect man in my life , I looked up to him and wanted to be like him, he was my idol!I was so dumb , I was falling for this hollow creature with least feelings and nothing to give, I never saw him like I've seen this time!

Guess ,I was in love with my illusion and not with this monger!

I know if I don't love myself and bring up my self esteem I would be as good as dead, I have to get a life and come out of this trap.

where do I go, my tears even don't stop in public!

@shynap, stop being funny you jakass, m feeling so gloomy and you makin me laugh idiot!!!Something very serious goin here do you understand

@Arshy ,oshiokee ,acidrop & dreamnaira , thanx frenz, I dunno I am so sad that even if I want I can't come out of this matrix!I feel so shattered like I am used or fooled or what I dunno, he seems perfectly alright, the moment I see him I can't stop my tears and I am left with no option than working with him because I can't leave this job for good, I dunno what I am looking for in here its symapathy or suggestion or emotions or whatWho will keep answering my questions if I am always so confused in life!

What a situation!I feel so bad,so small and disappointed with myself, and my pathetic life!

It’s so strange …when you have someone in your life you are so busy that you are busy even doing nothing…just thinking about the person you love…talking to him and losing yourself to him to take you in a dream world which has nothing to do with this world. The most comfortable place for you is his arms and that’s the only thing you love and you long for! You want to push everything which comes on your way, refrain from friends and everything else…and just keep looking for the ways to meet this person! Everything seems perfect and you believe in him more than anyone …you can’t even think of losing him.

Then comes a day when this person turns his back towards you! He deeply hurts because you got him so close to you, he ruins because he knows your basics ,he ignores because he knows that’s what you can’t tolerate…ignoring all those times which you spent with him. He has the whole world on his feet and you are the lonesome lost in his love with no establishment and no identity all this while. May be he realizes it and will come back to you…but seldom he cared to know how you cried and how lonely you felt at all these times. How difficult it was for you to pretend that you are normal while deep inside you were dying!

The person you love the most leaves you loneliest and dismayed…and you have noone to share this with and you seek a place like this where noone knows you but can understand your pain!

Thank you all you Fucking advisors for breaking my relation!!!

You all concreted that stupid doubt in my boy's mind, it's over finally, Happy you asswholes??

Hah!You guys about gal features and look at yourselves , You men stink like hell,have ugly hair on body,bulging ponch belly and tanned skin and you talk about women stretch marks, which are mostly after bearing your babies and flab , I don't think you should talk about woman because they're and will always be better than you!

You know you F@#$%^G guys have nothing to do with emotions and you love your ego, talk nonsense and love your F@#$%^g EGO , Hah!

bacause you @#$% guys don't desereve it!

I thinks eyes are the mirror to soul!

Yes & I have done it,

the trust ands space I was given!

Hi Cute ass, lolz your name brings smile to my face!

Well I love him very much but I said this to hurt him I was fed up of his everyday "I am accepting this, I can't accept this crap" he  keeps changin his mind so many times!I told him about nairaland and said this veto would decide the next step, I thought I was right and he thinks he is, The funny part is he can't even trust me when I told him the purpose of my story.Don't you think it's really bad, like you don't have a self respect or anything.The detailed conversation was like:

after he spoke about that blonde I was in shock for a moment and then suddenly I said I have slept with nine guys before you 7 befor and 2 after but now I love you and won't c anyone .he was queit and suddenly asked where how I said mostly after parties dropping and many a times going to their flat , and he asked names I couldn't tell him anything because I was not that innovative , don't you think that's an easy story anyone can think of?Nothing so in detail about this crap !

But the way he told me about his blonde his story looks more fake and untold , he said many times when I was left alone for "three months or so in a row" I use to see this lady and noticing the expression on my face he says I simply went over and massaged her , touched her at places!
Do you think any guy would do that all the time go and massage a Hot female , he said I massaged only once ! what fif he do otherwise, I am blunt and tell him everything he is smart and tells me I am dishonest and hurt him, I am not hot or anything .I don't even talk to anyone around in the office just because he doesn't like it and He thinks I lie!I am not that DNA to jump anywhere and anyone's bed, he gotta know this.

I think I am walking out soon,

@ Cuteass,
You feeling sorry for him who keeps telling me weird things about other females as I mentioned in may narration!!!These guys should also know how it feels when they do crazy things around, I don't think I am wrong!How can someone take a pride in those sagas

Oh the movie is Fabulous and a great work!!

You're just 18 and you talk like a kid, Kiddo!

But IMA , The most shocking and frustating thing is he actually thinks I slept with 9 other men!Don't you think I should be the one doing that, I belive whatever he says and love him agianst all odds , I simply can't live or without him!!!

have you never had a drink with anybodyWhy do men behave weird when it comes to ladies and they're just fine and try sounding logical when it's their turn, huh sounds so hatful!

I don't know, ever since we met I have had the most joyful times and times like now when I find myself nowhere, don't really care about anyone and anything when it comes to him , He's rude very rude to me, Only last Saturday we went out for drinks again where he said casually that he had a couple of relationships 10 years back….and every line he said my face shrunk and probably that’s the only reason why he said when he was in US and his wife used to go home for months he went to this lady who was sharing a duplex house with them with common stairs and had her massaged! He said this lady was a Hot blonde and tried to seduce him but he only touched her everywhere but didn’t make love to her. Tears dropped from my eyes and also a couple of stories he told me earlier that he hired girls when he went abroad (once in US & then Bangkok) …I felt so fragile and he said, ”It’s 10 years back, What makes you cry?” I wanted to teach him a lesson and immediately thought of a story and told him that I slept with 9 men before him he didn’t look shocked or anything and I added immediately 2 after you and seven before you…kept the suspense for a lil longer and after an hours time broke it.

I never slept with anyone other than this man and my ex.Everytime even I talk to someone closely I feel guilty and come back to the track…he said my story sounded so real and how could I hurt him and if I didn’t do anything how could I tell him all those things…he said that was so unhealthy, which stumped me cause I guess he should be saying something else….I am tired of telling him continuously that I was lying to make him understand what I go through! He doesn’t believe me and says….I am ready to accept this! Accept what damn

I am feeling so shattered right now because he is hurting me more than I ever thought I hated him this afternoon when he sat next to me with another girl to have lunch after ignoring me…he sends me a message saying he will “get involved with 20 other girls over the period of 40 weeks time” and to kill me he asks me to fix an executive health check appointment with the doctor and remarks…does this programme involves check up for AIDS, I am dead I can’t see him and hate him to the core for this feeling he has given me still I have to work with him because I am his subordinate , after all this he shows me care and I feel like dying!!!

Was I so wrong What do I do I am so blind in love that can’t see anything and can’t come over it or him.