₦airaland Forum

Presbulg:
Just like I said earlier you should ask him when you die

WORDWORLD:
SEE WHO IS TALKING..........................WHILE SO PROUD AT OPENING HIS BROWN TEETH.

Please go and get a job. NIGERIA cant be this bad?

Bobbywallexino:
yes I can be ignorant because I only read Quran and follow Quran wish not someone's lecture. nothing to worried by that because you are deceived by Paul in the Bible and his trick

Presbulg:
Of course you are atm but you still have time to prevent it.

WORDWORLD:
Question:

NA ME WRITE THE QURAN OR HADITH?


Answer:




YOU CAN START YOUR RESEARCH FROM THERE. INSTEAD OF SWINGING LIKE A CHURCH CLOCK PENDULUM.

You no get WORK?

DeSepiero:
If y'all would be sincere, "religion, of other things, is full of confusion".

Presbulg:
When you die and get to hell fire you can ask him yourself

WORDWORLD:
BECAUSE TRUTHMAN2012 IS LIVING IN HIS OWN CREATED DELUSION.

true2god:
Do you mean the greatest Islamic 'scholar', ibn Kathir, is an American agent? For your information, ibn kathir died hundreds of years before a nation called the US existed. Don't be an ignorant Muslim.

MDsambo:
Can yhu pls tell me the things he knows about science?

WORDWORLD:
YES IT IS IRRELEVANT NONSENSE....................YOU FINALLY DEFINED YOURSELF BY YOURSELF......................YOUR SUCH A TROLL.

MDsambo:
How could an illeterate man who lived 1400 years ago know this when it is only Discovered not long ago?

if you check the Qur'an chapter 55 from verse 19 to 21

it says:

He (Allah) released the two seas meeting(side by side) (55:19)

Between them is a barrier(so) neither of them transgresses (55:20)

So which of the favours of your lord would you deny?

(55:21)

So what else do you want to see before you believe?

MDsambo:
How could an illeterate man who lived 1400 years ago know this when it is only Discovered not long ago?

if you check the Qur'an chapter 55 from verse 19 to 21

it says:

He (Allah) released the two seas meeting(side by side) (55:19)

Between them is a barrier(so) neither of them transgresses (55:20)

So which of the favours of your lord would you deny?

(55:21)

So what else do you want to see before you believe?

EkeneElectrons:
smh

EkeneElectrons:
na question i ask, is buhari worshiping allah?

Bobbywallexino:
What u quoted from Quran doesn't refers to only Muslim. you need more knowledge of Quran. if Quran says you, it means all human being, and everyone will get his /her punishment according to their bad deed. some will spend lil time in hell before entering paradise depending on their sin. Trinity wasn't disclosed when Jesus was on earth, do you agree? read Mattew from 28:18-19 in the heaven, why not on earth? it was a planed by Jesus followers and I can give plenty of chapters where is only one God been mentioned in the bible. what happened to the rest point I have mentioned? I like people with good evidence Brother. Don't follow someone's lecture, let's use Quran and Bible as our references. Many people bring their own idea which is wrong as Jesus against it.

EkeneElectrons:
is buhari worshipping allah?

EkeneElectrons:
so allah is a god?

Rilwayne001:
I have told you several times to come back to that thread where you first talked about this. Why do you enjoy being mischievous?

Bobbywallexino:
screenshot it out from Quran and let me read it, I like Jesus as the Prophet of God but I hate Trinity. Can you just write it out where Jesus himself stated that there will be Trinity of God? read Mark 12:28-30. Jesus himself said there is only one God. what church Jesus attended? Jesus warned you not let your women speake in church. read 1Corinthians 14:34.. You Christan betrayed Jesus following man made law after Jesus went to heaven. Muslims Believe that there is only one God, and also let their females keep silent in mosque. more also Muslim females cover their head like virgin marry. Islam is one but Christan are many, Catholic bow down for Virgin Mary, Anglicans hate them. there is no mosque I cant pray but Christan is so selective. Muslim face the same direction through out the world but Christan has no direction and also Muslims pray with one language which is Arabic , as it is confirmed by the Bible Zephaniah 3:9. .. read where I quoted from the Bible. drop hatred and find real religion, those pastors are working for the money, they are deceiving you. Read your Bible very well and find the truth. if you want how Moses perform Abolition with Aron like Muslim from the Bible I will show you. read Nehemiah 8:4-6 is the same as Muslims pray. Join before it is too late. if you need more light from your Bible about Islam I will show you but you have to firstly drop hatred and ask for reality. thank you brother

WORDWORLD:
This is a serious matter.

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
15. Wubbledaddy
A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy
family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what
would you like for your birthday?’
The son hesitated a moment and his father’s thoughts
leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things.
However, his son had had a new computer only
recently and could have a new one any time he wished.
Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy
could wish for, but there is one thing I would really
like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.’
The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said,
`If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink
ping pong ball you shall have.’
And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday
present a pink ping pong ball.
The boy took the ball to his room and the next
morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father
was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything.
The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen
again.
The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the
father asked his son what he would like for his
birthday.
Father,’ replied the son,I have everything a boy could
possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really,
really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping
pong balls.’
The father was more surprised than the year before,
but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son
had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a
tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a
tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.’
And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday
present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.
The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the
next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the
empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where
ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but
decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls,
however, were never seen again.
The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son
was asked by his father what he would like for his
birthday.
Father,’ said the son to this,I have everything a boy
could wish for, but one thing would make my
happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of
pink ping pong balls.’
The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make
sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong
balls?’
`A carton of pink ping pong balls,’ the boy confirmed.
I can’t understand your fascination with pink ping
pong balls,’ said the father,but if it is a carton of pink
ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink
ping pong balls that you shall have.’
And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday
present a carton of pink ping pong balls.
The boy was delighted and took the carton to his
room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic,
even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.
Dear son,’ said the father,I must ask now, what do you
do with all those pink ping pong balls?’
The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please
humour me, dear father.’
The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never
seen again.
The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car,
but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some
other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before
the son’s 18th birthday, the father asked him whether
he had a special wish for his birthday.
Dearest father,’ the son started,I have everything a
young man could possibly want, but there is one
craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a
warehouse full of pink ping pong balls.’
One of these years, his father thought, I should get to
the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his
son’s wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy
shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.
The next day, the son was given the address of a
warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were
stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend
the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.
The following morning, the son stepped out of the
warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The
father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty
cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the
warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.
The following year, one day before the son’s 19th
birthday, the father braced himself for another
warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son
what his deepest desire was and he had not been
entirely wrong.
`Father, you have made me very happy these last years
and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong
balls if at all possible.’
It was possible, if only because the father had by now
bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls
in the country.
The next day, the father took his son to the harbour
and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that
there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping
pong balls in there.
Father,’ the son said,You’ve made me very happy yet
again.’
That night, the son spent on board the tanker.
The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong
balls could be found, but the son was happy.
A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son
had a terrible road accident and was taken to the
hospital.
His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear
son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?’
Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father,
grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong
balls.’
The father held his son’s hand tightly. `Whatever you
wish my son, but I have to give you one condition.
Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you
did with all those pink ping pong balls.’
`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell
you whatever you wish to know after you have given
me the ten pink ping pong balls.’
The father thought that was fair enough and the next
day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong
balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to
talk.
`Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and
shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have
done with all those pink ping pong balls.’
The son nodded weakly.
The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong
balls could be found in the son’s hospital room.
`Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my
life, please tell me what you did with all those pink
ping pong balls,’ the father requested.
The son nodded and the father gripped his hand
tighter.
`I-‘ the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a
dry mouth.
`I- I-‘
Then he died.
16. way_fairer
Q: Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the
bathroom?
A: Because the P is silent.
17. daenasnow
What do you call a Labrador that becomes a magician?
A Labracadabrador!
18. mikey_says
How did Hitler tie his shoesies?
In little nazis :3
19. initialsdrummer
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat
hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, “What’s this
about?”
The bartender replies, “Well, if you can jump up and
slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the
night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for
the next hour. You wanna do it?”
The guy replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”
20. trauma_kmart
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her
husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was
hiding in the closet. Her husband came home
unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company. Boy: “Dark in here.” Man:
“Yes it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball.” Man: “That’s nice.”
Boy: “Want to buy it?” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy: “My
dad’s outside.” Man: “OK, how much?” Boy: “£250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: “Dark in here.” Man: “Yes, it is.” Boy: “I have a
baseball glove.” Man: “That’s nice.” Boy: “Want to buy
it?” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy: “I’ll tell.” Man: “How
much?” Boy: “£750.” Man: “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your
glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy
says, “I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, “How much
did you sell them for?” The son says, “£1,000.” The
father says, “That’s terrible to over-charge your friends
like that. That is way more than those two things cost.
I’m going to take you to church and make you
confess.”
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and
makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and
closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t
start that sh*t again.”
21. packos130
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
You park your car, man.
22. StickleyMan
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Europe”
“Europe who?”
“No you’re a poo!”
23. MTGrs
which side of the zebra has the most stripes?
A: — The outside
24. JWilly189
Never trust an atom, they make up everything.
25. ben7xxrd
Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived
by the bay they’d be bagels!
26. trauma_kmart
A woman marries a man and has 10 children. The man
dies, so the woman remarries and has 10 more
children. The next man dies so the woman remarries
again and has ten more children. That man dies so the
woman remarries and has 10 more children. The
husband dies again and finally the woman dies as well.
At the funeral, the priest mutters: “Good god! They’re
finally together!’ A man at the funeral asks another man
on his left: “Which husband do you think he means?
The first, second, or third?” The man on his left says; “I
think he means her legs”
27. liesfaith
Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke
jooooke.
28. caveman_rejoice
Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa
tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby
tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato
squishes him and says, “Ketchup.”
29. oneyellowwall
What did the buffalo said to his son when he dropped
him off at school?
Bi-son.
30. ipoopedonachair
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
31. LowercaseMan
Why did Timmy hate eating clocks?
It was really time consuming.
32. twelvedayslate
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
NACHO CHEESE!
33. pupetman64
So a skeleton walks into a bar, he says to the bartender
“Give me a beer and a mop”
34. StickleyMan
A grasshopper works into a bar and the bartender
says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!”.
Confused, the grasshopper replies, “You have a drink
named Steve?”
35. HughJorgens
A guy sees a three-legged pig at a new friends farm. He
asks why the pig has three legs. His friend says “Let me
tell you about that pig, he’s a hero. Last year my house
caught on fire, and that pig knocked down my door,
and dragged my unconscious body outside to safety.”
The guy asks “Oh, that’s how he lost the leg, in the
fire?” His friend says “Oh, no, when you have a good
pig like that, you dont want to eat him all at once.”
36. alanp88
I got an invite to a wedding that said “black tie only”.
But when I got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.
37. carlfro
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks,
“Would all of you like a drink?” The first logician
replies, “I don’t know.” The second logician replies, “I
don’t know.” The last logician replies, “Yes.”
38. skocznymroczny
My dog has no nose.
So how does he smell?
Awful.
39. JohnTheDigger
Why was the ant so confused?
Because all of his Uncles were ants.
40. colwyn69
Every time we cross train tracks, I tell my kids
“hey, a train just went by”
“How do you know daddy?”
“because it’s tracks are still here”
41. Its_Ice_Nine
why did the archaeologist commit suicide?
his career was in ruins
42. StickyBellyFlapCock
Lack of general knowledge is my Achille’s knee.
43. Eviltwinrobot
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A
buccaneer!
44. SirDolphin
I invented a time machine next week.
45. cubiekart
what is it called when batman skips out on church?
christian bale
46. Ideal_Jerk
Q: What kind of PC can sing really great?
A : A Dell
47. Dont_Trust_Ducks
A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender
and says “Give me a beer.” The bartender is stunned,
so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the
owner.
“Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking
for a beer.”
The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies “Well
then give him one, but charge him double. Horses
don’t know the price of beer.” So the bartender heads
back out front and hands the horse a beer.
“You know,” says the barkeep, “we don’t get many
horses around here.”
To which the horse replies, “At these prices I’m not
surprised.”
48. trauma_kmart
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus
in front of his office, ready to show it off to his
colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along
too closely and completely tore off the driver’s door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to
see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with
his lights flashing. Before the cop had a chance to ask
any questions, the attorney started screaming
hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just
purchased the day before, was completely ruined and
would never be the same, no matter how any car body
shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally
wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in
disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers
are,” he said. “You are so focused on your
possessions that you neglect the most important
things in life.” “How can you say such a thing?” asked
the lawyer. The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize
that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the
truck hit you!” “OH, MY GOD!!!” screamed the lawyer.
(Keep reading) * * * * “My Rolex!”
49.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a truck.
Badum TSSS
50. omarQamar
Are you made of copper and telerium? Cause you’re
CuTe!
51. MisfitHula
Olympic gymnast walks into a bar, she doesn’t get a
medal.
52. SippantheSwede
This guy’s walking home from work, really late, in the
pitch black of night. There isn’t another soul on the
street. Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an
ominous bump…bump…bump. He looks behind him
and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the
street after him. Unnerved, he picks up his pace,
finally breaking into a panicked run.
He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer.
Bump…bump…bump. The glow of a streetlight
illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man’s
horror, it is a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk. He
quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but
the coffin only pursues more quickly. BUMP…BUMP…
BUMP!
He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys,
and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his
front steps. He slams the door and leans against it,
catching his breath. Bump…bump…bump. There is a
moment’s silence, and the man wonders if he dares to
breathe.
Suddenly…. Bump…bump…bump…Bump…BUMP!
BUMP! BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!! He rebounds
away as the door breaks off its hinges. Scrambling to
his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffin races
after. BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP! Terrified, he backs
into a corner and starts throwing everything within
reach at the coffin — a handful of papers, a vase, a box
of crackers, a lamp — but the coffin keeps coming!
BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP
INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it
down! His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup,
and he throws that at the coffin, too!
The coffin stops.
53. matthank
This one… •I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
•When chemists die, they barium.
•Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.
•I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he
can stop any time.
•How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
•I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it
dawned on me.
•This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian
club, but I’d never met herbivore.
•I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it
down.
•I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a
play on words.
•They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
•This dyslexic man walks into a bra.
•I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
•A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she
couldn’t control her pupils.
•When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
•What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back
four seconds.
•I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit
me!
•Broken pencils are pointless.
•What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive
vocabulary? A thesaurus.
•England has no kidney bank, but it does have a
Liverpool.
•I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
•I dropped out of communism class because of lousy
Marx.
•I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
•Velcro – what a rip off!
•Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
54. KristofferRafn
How do you organize a party in space? – You planet!!
55. the_last_hairbender
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You search
for fresh prints!
56. Unlimited_Bacon
What is Whitney Houston’s favorite type of
coordination?
HAND-EEEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE
57. Conman316
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans.
58.
Hey man you got any Sodium Hypobromite?
…NaBrO
59. allidoisquote
When’s a good time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
60.
Did ya know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your
jeans! TC
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Bobbywallexino:
But Allah Is better than your god in the Bible that cast fire like dragon. Read 2 Samuel 22:7-9 . Thank God I joined Islam without regret.

WORDWORLD:
TRUTHMAN2012............................YOU ARE THE MASTER OF TRIVIALITY.

You should be awarded for your UNSERIOUSNESS, seriously.

Rilwayne001:
Mr monkey, you know its the other way round
Meanwhile, when are you going to school truthman2012 and parisbookaddict on how jesus is not god? I can't wait to see that day hehehe

hopeful1andlord:
I'm actually here to discuss deity and Yahweh

You can see the post up there where I referred to your intellectual dishonesty

hopeful1andlord:
Bros, Islam Judaism and Christianity worship the same god in different ways

They call them "Abrahamic Religion"

They all have the same root, just different interpretations of things, that's why Judaism and islam adherents don't regard Christ as Christians do

truthmans2012:
There should be no controversy over this subject. Deity has been interpreted as "god" by other quran translators. You can't tell me that "god" is the same as "God". You don't refer to the true God as god.