₦airaland Forum

mrsage:
To be continued by 7pm tomorrow

Thanks a lot sir for this great thread....

Fellow guys and family members are going to establish an exploitative relationship with you once they know you're a nice guy or carry the nice guy badge, let alone women.

Niceness don't elicit any emotion, other than triggering the parasitic tendencies in humans.

It absolutely got no biological and evolutionary advantages ,it rather places you in a box which others can manipulate to increase their chances of survival.
And with anything humans, they are ready to ruthlessly take advantage of you to further their interest without apology.

Anyone that understands the life game people play, one attitude rarely found in them is niceness.

You can't assert your needs and wants in life when you're strolling through life with the nice guy badge.
You can't be ruthless when it's necessary when you're focus on being nice to people ,in order not to provoke them.
You can't fight, fight when it's necessary, especially when you're dealing with assholes ,when you're being nice.

Niceness is coming from a place of fear.*
Deep rooted fear about life and what people impression about you might be.

Are you still wondering why you're taught to be a nice guy since your childhood ?
I should believe you have figured that out by now.
The very attitudes you need to survive life is highly marginalized ,hence, you got to be very bold in exuding them without apology.
Selfishness and Machiaveinism is at the peak of these qualities, but nobody is willing to tell you that.

As with everything that got to do with life and men, you're to figure them out yourself.
Be among the few group of men that "get it ".

And most importantly, don't mistake niceness for kindness. (
They are world apart.

To know why you should be kind and not nice, check a post I posted sometime back on the differences...

You can also DM me for a book that would help in removing that nice guy badge.

limeta:
Jihadist have their own ways of thinking
Op do you think islam should rule the world ?
Am sure you see your self a moderate Muslim but with this your right up deep inside you a fanatic

Hello sister/ma... I am a practicing Christian... I had a soft heart for Osinbajo in the APC primary contest but unfortunately he lost.... That is politics for us...

But based on the realistic options that we now currently have, a liberal Muslim in Tinubu is the better deal for we Christians than another core Fulani Muslim in Atiku..

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Paid post.A Muslim Muslim ticket is dead on arrival if Muslims can't accept a Christian Christian ticket

I was never paid sir... I was only trying to see things in a more liberal and emotionless way.

Please say the truth.

Between a "Muslim President Vs Christian VP" and "Muslim President Vs Christian Senate president", which one is a better deal for Christians? Which one gives independent and more power to Christians?

I have read many emotional comments here in recent time concerning how bad an APC Muslim/Muslim ticket would be for southern Christians and Christians in general.... To those propagating this message, please let's look at it in a more liberal and objective way... I see that we put too much of emphasis on this VP position while we neglect the potential candidates for the other two tiers of government that are more inportant than the VP slot.

Presidency is all about the president... The president is the head of the executive tier of government. The head is always the ruler. A VP is a puppet of the president and can only operate in the confines and boundaries set by the president.... So a VP has no power of its own outside the one passed to him by the president... Or have you seen where a VP challenges the power of the president before?

So permit me to begin.

1. This is a contest between a liberal Muslim and a core Fulani Muslim: Tinubu has over the years proved that he is a liberal Muslim and not a fanatic. He married to a Christian pastor. Tinubu in Lagos has even appointed/supported more Christian governors than Muslim governors since he finished his governorship tenor (Ambode/Sanwo olu Vs Fashola)

So do you prefer to vote in another core Fulani Muslim or a known liberal Muslim?

2. Only Tinubu's presidency will likely produce a Christian senate president from the south.....A senate President is the head of the legislative tier of government... This is never a puppet position like that of the VP... A senate President is backed with constitutional independent powers...

What other better chance can south and southern Christians have to influence/drive a positive change in this only country of ours than to have a southern christian holding the position of a senate President in conjunction with a liberal Muslim President from the same south?

This position is even likely to be zoned to the South east... So this will be another great chance for them to drive out equity and fairness that they clamour for.

Buhari's presidency has Fulani people heading the 3 tiers of government (Executive, Legislative and Judiciary)... If Atiku becomes the president of Nigeria in 2023, this same arrangement will likely remain while the puppet VP position will be the only southern joy... The three tiers of government would still be headed by fulanis like this current government if Atiku emerge as the president of Nigeria

The only other second hand position they would zone to the South will be the speaker of the house of representative...

3. Only Tinubu presidency stands the better chance of breaking the Fulani monopoly of our security bodies....Police, Navy, Army etc are all headed by fulanis. Or do you expect a core Fulani man to come and remove his brothers for southern canditates?

These areas are untouchables by fulanis and only a southern president like Tinubu can touch the untouchables..

Written by Tunde Joda (A liberal Christian from the south)

david5565:
So far, I've been subscribed.
It's to watch if they are honourable.
Keeping my fingers crossed.

Hello sir... Do you know better about them now?... Do you see them legit?

Thanks in advance!!!

Solofresh2:
There is something bothering me about my kind hearted and soft behavior and I am not happy with it.

Some people have taken of me for this and I noticed that people don't deserve my soft love for humanity but would rather take advantage of it.

Please how can I help it

You need to develop/upgrade your mind with the right/liberating info in order to escape this limitation barrier...

Go and read this book and thank me later...

"No more Mr Nice Guy"
Dr. Robert A. Glover

I am willing to help you with the pdf or EPUF file if you drop your mail id...

Also check my profile to read a thread I posted few weeks back on "Kind Vs Nice"

Cheers and goodluck!!!

Kind people are happy people to begin with, and add to their happiness through acts of generosity and altruism. Nice people are needy people who inadvertently create more and more unhappiness for themselves.

The nice person has to understand that their self-worth can never be improved by being a pleaser. They must learn how to validate themselves independently of others, and let go of the co-dependent relationships which foster mutual animosity.

When the overly-nice person can let go of the urge to please, they'll be able to identify their real needs and feelings and begin to take proper care of themselves. They can find happiness in pursuing meaningful activities and relationships instead of giving too much, becoming resentful and developing nasty addictions along the way.

By: Marcia Sirota, Contributor
(Author, speaker, coach and MD)

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/too-nice_b_946956/amp

You've heard the phrase, "So-and-so is a really nice person," and probably thought nothing of it. In my work, though, I think a lot about what it means to be "really nice" as I see a major distinction between being nice and being genuinely kind.

The way I understand it, kindness emerges from someone who's confident, compassionate and comfortable with themselves. A kind person is loving and giving out of the goodness of their heart.

At the root of extreme niceness, however, are feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others. Overly-nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves.

Genuinely kind people are giving because it's in their nature to care, and since they have no ulterior motives, they aren't concerned with whether or not other people like them.

Kind people can be assertive and set good limits. Nice people, on the other hand, bend over backward to be obliging. They deal with potential conflicts by placating the other person because they can't bear to have anyone upset with them.

Kind people have good self-esteem and because they love themselves as much as they care about others, they expect to be treated with respect. Nice people are desperate for approval, so they're often mistreated or taken advantage of.

Nice people tend to do too much for those who don't deserve it and are easy prey for users. They get into co-dependent relationships in which they care-take others in the hopes of eventually being cared for themselves.

This co-dependent interaction, however, is a lose-lose for everyone involved. The nice person fails to get the love and approval they seek, and the person on the receiving end never feels like they're getting enough care. Instead of being grateful, they become resentful toward the pleaser.

Kind people take responsibility for their own self-care. They're generous, even altruistic, but don't get caught up in a user-pleaser type of relationship.

The nice person is careful not to offend anyone and wouldn't dream of expressing a "negative" emotion. They focus on being good to others, to the detriment of their own needs. In fact, they're afraid to ask for what they want for fear of creating conflict.

Nice people stuff down their feelings, not wanting to be a bother to anyone, but the problem with this is

that emotions can't be kept down indefinitely. Feelings and needs are meant to be expressed and when they're repressed, they find another outlet.

Being nice, then, has unforeseen consequences: it's painful to seek affirmation but receive contempt. Always holding back needs, feelings and opinions adds to their frustration.

Ultimately, the frustration grows into anger, but showing this anger is unacceptable to someone so invested in always being pleasant. They're compelled to suppress any "bad" feelings.

As the nice person continues to please everyone and the anger simmers underneath the surface, the pressure builds up. At some point emotions begin to leak, in the form of snarky comments, whining, needling, sarcasm, passive-aggressive behaviour or even outbursts of rage.

When a nice person leaks resentment it's usually met with surprise or with more anger, which reinforces their belief that anger should never be expressed.

A vicious circle is created in which the nice person pleases others, becomes resentful, represses and then leaks their anger and then represses their feelings some more. As a result, I believe they'll often get caught up in addictive behaviours which are meant to compensate for their mounting frustration.

I have found that nice people will often turn to starchy, fatty or sugary "comfort foods" to help them to stuff down their anger and soothe their hurt feelings. They'll sometimes abuse alcohol or turn to tranquillizers to anaesthetize their pain. Some will go on spending sprees, trying to buy themselves happiness.

The nice person is overly-invested in the emotional pay-off they're hoping to achieve by pleasing and taking care of others. They're also unwilling to face how much hurt or anger they're carrying. They're resistant to changing their behaviour, despite the consequences of their compensatory addictions.

Two powerful quotes on power:

1. True power can never be shared. It belongs only to those who take it for themselves.

2. So long as one seeks a master, one is destined to be a slave.

GreaterFuture:
Best wallet for USDT

Trust wallet is very much ok and decentralised (you will have your own private keys). Downloadable on Google play store etc.

Good but not the best when you actually want to take the best advantage out of the constant inflation of Naira against the dollar

The same government through their banks will still determine the conversion rate of the saved dollar back to Naira which definitely will be lesser than the black market price.

The banks are wise. They buy dollar from you at Inter-bank rate and sell dollar for you at black market rate.

You will also be regulated on your own money. How much you can spend per time, etc. With the constant change in rules by the CBN, you can wake up tomorrow and hear that all your dollars has been automatically converted to Naira by the new CBN rule at 400 dollar.

The least you can do to best take advantage of the constant devaluation of Naira is to open a Stable coin wallet like USDT and save digital dollars there.

mountmoriah:
Nice thread op

Thanks.

8. To err is human; to forgive, divine. Alexander Pope | Quotes on Forgiveness
Humans make mistakes. Have you not made errors in your time here? Forgive yourself too.

9. When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future. Bernard Meltzer

To forgive is to take a step towards joy, love and a life that truly reflects the beauty you have within you.

Don’t waste another moment of joy being in anger.

Forgiveness is not easy, especially when the pain is deep. But when you find the courage to heal yourself in this way, you begin a whole new life. And the best part is, it only takes a moment.

How about you try it, right now?

6. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. Thomas S. Manson

Close the wounds, let them heal.

Take care of yourself and rest, then find your courage.

7. The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. Marianne Williamson

When you forgive, you not only change your own life.

You raise the collective consciousness higher into love.

Copied!!!!
https://iamfearlesssoul.com/quotes-on-forgiveness/

When we experience pain – we feel wronged, hard done by – cheated. And so to ensure it doesn’t happen again, we create a story about the pain.. What happened to us, and how it affected our lives..

When we carry these stories around with us we hold onto anger, fear and blame. They become like painful heavy bricks that weigh down our hearts and stop us from growing.

We convince ourselves that if we were to let go of our story, we would be vulnerable to the pain happening again. So we clench tightly, convinced of their necessity.

But this is a mistake..

In order to heal from our pain, we must learn to forgive.

Only then can we be free.

1. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King Jr.

Holding onto anger, resentment, blame and hatred over what happened does not serve you.. Love instead.

Love yourself enough to let it go.

2. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

You are strong enough to do this. You deserve more, than to live your life in the continued suffering of past hurts.

3. True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” Oprah Winfrey | Quotes on Forgiveness

The lessons you learnt through this pain are INVALUABLE. No one will ever take them from you. Speak silently into the heart of the person who hurt you.

Thank them and let them go.

4. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies. Nelson Mandela

You will not be able to flourish if you continue to be validated for your pain.

The resentment you feel is only hurting you, no one else

5. To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. Confucius | Quotes on Forgiveness

You and you alone have the power to release the bind.

Stop playing the story of the past. Write a new one.

A beautiful story.

A great coach doing great things.

What is your take on these five items?

5. Stop Holding On To Comfortable Habits That Are Holding You Back
There are a lot of habits that you know don't serve you well, but you've become comfortable with the perceived protection that they offer. Habits that you know aren't helpful in your quest to find true love, but you may be reluctant to give them up.

If you want to find love, you have to make sacrifices. If this is your situation, remember that life's greatest growth comes when you leave your comfort zone.

Don't let comfortable and safe feeling hold you back from a full and vibrant life that could lead to the love of your life.

Let go of the defence mechanisms that have kept you from getting hurt and also hold you back from finding love.

Source:
https://fb.watch/6WcVfVCKBk/

4. Stop Hiding
Nothing will come to you in this life if you are hiding from it. Nothing will come if you are running scared.

If you want something, you're going to have to be brave and put yourself out there. If you don't put yourself out there, no one will be able to find you.

Network and go to places you can possibly meet your Mr right. Cheer up and be friendly with people around you.

Sure, this won't work for you EVERY time, but it will never work if you never put yourself out there.

3. Stop Expecting Someone To Be Something You Are Not Giving Back.
This is the concept of the Mirror. Most people aren't actively looking for pessimistic, lazy or uninspiring. You set the standard for the type of person you want in your life. If you want a particular type of person, you must mirror that quality.

If you want someone fit and healthy, you must be a mirror of that person.

If you want someone who always sees the positives in every situation? Mirror that mindset with your own outlook.

If you want someone with drive and ambition, ask yourself if you possess those characteristics.

Mirror the person you want and that connection will happen much more naturally.

2. Stop Wearing Masks And Trying To Appear Perfect
True love will never find you if you aren't ready to reveal your TRUE SELF.

'False advertising' has never been higher that what we see today. Tinder, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram are all, at times, authenticity killers. People seem more obsessed with appearing "perfect" than ever before.

If you want love, be yourself. Your RAW true, authentic self, flaws and all.

Learn to love who you are and stop hiding it from the world. One day someone will fall for who you are, not how you wish to be perceived.

If you're always wearing a mask, covering up your REAL SELF, how could anyone ever love you for who you are?

Real love can only come to those who are ready to reveal their REAL SELF. All the wrong people will always be available for the masked you..

Most people don't learn this until much later in life. So start expressing your true character today...

Love is the most powerful force on Earth. Some say that finding a genuine connection today is harder than ever, but that's no reason to give up trying. That is no reason to give up believing you deserve it.

Age is no more on the side of some people anymore and may keep wondering why no one has ever loved them even after experiencing countless number of relationship with the opposite sex.

So if you're asking yourself, will I ever find love? You must stop doing these five things first:

1. You have to stop looking for others to love you and instead LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
In the search for real love, the very first step must be loving oneself first.

If you don't love the special being that you are, how can you expect anyone else to?

If you are looking for a true partner to share your life with, someone who will work with you and encourage you to live your best life, you have to treat yourself that way first.

When you are not at peace with who you are and you are constantly waiting for someone to fix you you, you will likely attract toxic people who are looking for someone to take advantage of.

Take the time to do the difficult self-work that makes you an attractive partner and will help you attract loving and respectful people into your life.

When you want someone else to do the heavy lifting for you, you will likely be disappointed with the caliber of people who enter your life.

When you know that you are a whole and complete person who is looking for a partner rather than a saviour, you are opening yourself up to attracting like-minded people who are also seeking someone to walk life with.

JaceyOpara:
I haven't even started anything at all. The woman that attends to online applicants asked me to sit.....she said she'll call me when she's set

Just wait for her to attend to you... She may act rudely sometimes, but she will surely answer you.

If you see her on seat with nobody occupying her, go back to remind her again...

You will find the capturing and collection stages more professionally done.

JaceyOpara:
I'm at Ikeja passport office oo
And they're not even looking at our faces....we that applied online


They're only attending to those that have contacts inside ���

You need to directly go to the right office yourself and not ask random officers that may want to take an advantage of you. What stage are you there for now?. For online verification?.

JEmma1:
please does the process require nim, I intend getting a passport for my daughter, she's under a year old. can you help me out with the documents required.

Only Lagos, Abuja and Rivers passport's centers require NIN.

Kindly check page 188 for a guideline on how to go about a fresh passport application.

Gucciballer:
Are you at alausa now? Trying so hard not to pay this idiots but they have been ignoring me cos I did it online

You need to go to the right places and not appear confused of what to do.

My passport collection date @ Alausa passport office is today (18th of Jan). I got there around 1:15PM and left with my passport around 1:55PM. I did the online reg on 23th of Dec and went for my interview on 29th of Dec. I went there 3 times in total for the passport and spent a combined time of like 2hours 3min there

DIY is surely the way and say to shortcuts.

yehmy:
This is how you guys will just invite scammers to your door

Lol.... The steps are clearly stated, but still looking for something else.

oloyedelove:
Good morning everyone. Pls can someone whose passport has expired stand as my guarantor?

No.

Mhizsleeq4eva:
Pls I want to do my international passport,can someone pls tell me the process step by step and the cost of the passport and any other thing I'll pay for. Note I don't want express,I want DIY. Thanks in anticipation of your replies.

For a fresh passport
1. Click on https://portal.immigration.gov.ng/passport/epassport

2. Select "Standard ePassport" option, your country name and click "Start application"

3. Supply your biodata info and printout the "Application form" when you are done (you can save first in a PDF format for later printout)

4. Proceed to payment. When you are done, printout both the "Acknowledgement slip" and "Payment slip" respectively"

5. Generate your guarantor's form by clicking on
https://portal.immigration.gov.ng/passport/passportGuarantor
and supply both your reference number and application Id as stated in the printouts above. Anybody with a valid passport and driver's licence/NiN slip can be your guarantor. Give the form to the person to fill and then take it to a highcourt for endorsement/signing.

Note: Atleast one of the 3 printouts will carry your interview date. The day to go to your selected passport office with the below documents. Though you can also go before or after the stated date.

Documents to go along with to the Passport office
1. NIN slip (1 copy)
2. State of Origin certificate (1 copy,)
3. Birth certificate (1 copy)
4. 2 passport photos
5. Application form (1 copy)
6. Acknowledgement slip (1 copy)
7. Payment slip (2 copies)
8. Guarantor form (1 copy). A passport photo (names written at the back and duly signed) of the guarantor. A copy of the guarantor's passport data page and NIN slip/driver's license.
9. A white file (cost #50 or #100) and its hook (#50). You can get this at the passport office.

Note: Go along with all your own originals for verification sake.

Capturing Stage
You will be rightly directed for this stage after finishing the "verification stage" above.
Note: When you are done capturing, a printout will be given to you which contains your passport's collection date. Goodluck.

I hope you will find this comprehensive enough.