₦airaland Forum

judicata:
I would deeply appreciate more responses pls.

naijacutee, FOD, dominique, pls help

Where is your location as I am looking towards partnership?

We can discuss this further if you want.

AngelicDamsel:
Lala: why are you calling me? I'm in church!

Commenters: Lala na snake.

Lala:

You are so fine! Will like to make friends. I sent you a connect via pm. Let's connect via email if you don't mind. Yours,

Jewessgratitud3:
Determine whether I like him? Abeg how old are you?
Did you not understand from the word go I said I didn't like him or which part did you not understand?

Go and learn comprehension skills. Until then stop reading my posts.

Thank you

Okay, I hear you. But, we are still saying the same thing. I think you are the one who needs to sharpen her comprehension skills.

You don't like a guy, but you can give him a list that mandates him to give you gifts/material things? You've not even told him you don't like him yet?!

Don't do that again. It's not christianly. Bye.

Jewessgratitud3:
What's all these ones saying? Before won't be get married after I rejected him? Or what exactly are you crying about?

Biko excuse me.

I'm not referring to how you rejected him. I'm only letting you see that the guy was boxed up enough to spend money on his marriage and travel, you confirmed he was not broke.

So, he wasn't stingy. He only wanted to be sure where he's putting his money.

Next time, don't use a list of items you want a man to purchase for you to determine your likeness for him.

You used to sing in the choir, right?
I believe you attend church.
While I am not here to castigate anyone, can you tell me what gave you the moral justification for this:

Though he too was acting stingy that Christmas period after giving him a list of what I needed....

You knew you did not like this guy, why give him a list of items you want to travel with?

The people you're taking those items on your list to would praise you, while you in turn will call the guy "mumu pastor."

Also, the guy not buying whatever you have on the list does not make him stingy. You even confirmed he married the other lady and they travelled abroad together.

In my opinion, I see the guy had a better use for his money.

Muyiwabiggy:
Sharrap there! Sex ko sexy ni. If sex ws the forbidden fruit why then did God tell them to multiply and be fruitful, I mean how are they supposed to fulfill that ordinance? Bongo tea! And pls don't tell crap about unlawful sex between Adam and Eve cos last time I checked they were already married immediately Eve was made from him abi wetin Genesis 2 vs 21 - 24 say?

There is no controversy about this topic. Like I said the forbidden fruit cannever be sex!

Gen 2:9 - And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground -trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. (NIV)

The garden had two trees in the middle, the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. The trees grew from the soil/ground.

P.S: My last contribution to this thread because the OP is uncouth.

Dtruthspeaker:
Ok you meant "solemnize". Thank God O!

Solemnization only meant marriage which is couple-ling (coupling) of a male and female and then they are husband and wife.

That was what God instituted.

But as you can see them Adam did not touch his wife especially as they were blessed to be fruitful as proven by the absence of pregnancy like Mary and Joseph before the time of The Holy Spirit was fulfilled.

Thus, while God had instituted marriage and theur marriage, He had not yet instituted the consumation of the marriage (which is sex) which the couple were waiting for its permission before Satan came and did his evil of intermeddling with the marriage.

If you had dated a virgin you would clearly see the "Don't touch Rule" which is why virgins beg you not to touch and defile them for it is their life and death!

There is no need for your explanation, I don't need it.

Dtruthspeaker:
So when a priests blesses your marriage he had sex with the 2 of you eh? It's like you are a mad person. Bye bye.

I am not supposed to reply you again, because from all ramifications, I should not be your agemate. I was only trying to let you see things in the right perspective. I am not even saying I'm right because, obviously I am not the writer of the Bible. Yeah, I made a mistake in the construct, but saying you love the Holy spirit and saying someone is mad? You most be the most certified christian on earth! In fact, every christian should copy your lifestyle!!

Anyways, I modified what I earlier posted, and this is it again:

The forbidden fruit is not sex and it can never be sex.
Check the passage you quoted, read it from Gen 1:27-28. In fact, your passage actually proved that God solemnized the first marriage! Wow!

I just saw it today from that passage that he [God] prayed for them and said, be fruitful and multiply. What other solemnization do you want?

Do not interpret the Bible with your logic. If logic works, fine, but sometimes logic cannot be used to interprete what is in the word, so take them with the literary meaning.

I know you did not see this but God actually blessed animals and cause them to have sex in Gen 1:22. He did the same for man in Gen 1:28 [Thanks to you, I'm just seeing this today].

The forbidden fruit cannever be sex because the way man was sent out of the garden is to prevent man from eating the fruit of immortality. The fruit that man ate is the fruit of knowledge. That is the only thing that distinguish us from animals and make us equal with celestial beings.

On the other hand, celestial beings are only higher than humans because they are immortal (eaten the fruit of immortality), the one God did not want us to steal.

Dtruthspeaker:
I answered it above your comment.

The forbidden fruit is not sex and it can never be sex.
Check the passage you quoted, read it from Gen 1:27-28. In fact, your passage actually proved that God solemnized the first marriage! Wow!

I just saw it today from that passage that he [God] prayed for them and said, be fruitful and multiply. What other solemnization do you want?

Do not interpret the Bible with your logic. If logic works, fine, but sometimes logic cannot be used to interprete what is in the word, so take them with the literary meaning.

I know you did not see this but God actually blessed animals and cause them to have sex in Gen 1:22. He did the same for man in Gen 1:28 [Thanks to you, I'm just seeing this today].

The forbidden fruit cannever be sex because the way man was sent out of the garden is to prevent man from eating the fruit of immortality. The fruit that man ate is the fruit of knowledge. That is the only thing that distinguish us from animals and make us equal with celestial beings.

On the other hand, celestial beings are only higher than humans because they are immortal (eaten the fruit of immortality), the one God did not want us to steal.

What is the latest about this training? Has the login issues and dashboard problems been resolved?

The organisers did not send a message to that effect.

Is this programme still going on as planned?

Her calculation on that page shows 5,280,000.00 naira. She still has 4,720,000.00 naira that she couldn't explain how it would be spent out of the proposed 10m.

Sometimes I wonder if these people actually know what they are saying.

Ten million might actually be the amount spent by some people in the middle class on a wedding. But, it's not a standard. She herself couldn't explain how a wedding would gulp 10m. Just trying to pressure people unnecessarily.

frog12:
the lesson here be say: keep anything of value away from untrusted people.
the woman did not know the husband has bad character
i suspect she knew but decided to ignore it.

She may not know. I've read stories and heard some men say what they can do to their wives.

Let's assume the story is true, when a man says "he will never want his wife to progress above him," to what extent do you think the man can go?

If it will not shock you, some men boastfully tell their friends the quoted texts.

frog12:
wetin you learn from it?

Well, I'm a content creator cum creative writer, so every story is important to me (there's always something to learn).

Flattire:
How on earth will she have her life savings in an ATM card with the Pin known by her husband.?
Your life savings account shouldn't even have an ATM card not to talk of the one with an already known pin.
On another note, doesn't she get alert on every withdrawal? Abi which kind story be this?

A man that is jobless for that matter. The man will just be checking the balance anytime she asks him to go and withdraw cash. In his mind, he'll feel like, "my wife has money o, chai!"

Pootle:
no mind the dumb mods moving rubbish to fp, nonsense story she brew to create hate

The story looks fabricated, but one can learn one or two things from it.

obinna58:
Women understanding
When they call una fish brain, una go begin fighting like tiger, you’ll understand motherhood when you give birth, then if you read your words again shame go catch

@obinna58, what is wrong with the woman leaving the kids with their father?

Simeonjoe1:
Ok atleast we've agreed on gender roles.

Now to black tax. There's absolutely nothing wrong with black tax. Your immediate family and extended are entitled to your money, yes your hard earned money.

Africa is a homogeneous society who has tried hard to instill western values into our fabrics yet we failed to to adobt a 100% this has lead to cultural clashes that had compounded our problems.
We are a homogeneous group, we have no central collecting system, majority of your produce are share within the family which everyone contribute.
If you're the biggest person in that family you contribute more while even expecting less from family members, hence the feed on you.

Europeans on the other hand from history pay their taxes to their bourgeois and manor lords, which constitute the government, we pays ours to our family (check traditional Africa home it's a compound with many rooms where grand, sons and wives, uncles and other extended family lives. The house is build by the most influential in the family and he provides majorly for all the extensions with the family working for him, this system is not only practiced in Africa, check South America its also their way. Where majority of the family work for the most influential male and her cather for all the family problems.

Africans pays the least number of tax. Check our tax /gdp it's the lowest in the world, that's because we are not used to paying tax for a central government.
While in Europe taxes can be as high as 40%
So if Nigeria charges you 15% as taxes for the government, the other 25% is your black tax =they are meant for your parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family members. The more you earn the more they expect from you, hence they are entitled.
With this homogeneous mindset, if we decide to adopt the western ways and say nobody is entitled to your money then we are inviting problem, and as the government will punish tax evaders your family can also pepper you for not meeting your obligations.

Nigeria does not pay lower taxes than any other parts of the world, especially for business people. Check out the taxes paid by business people in Nigeria. You will even pay your own personal income tax asides company tax.

It was the past administration that helped by waiving tax (federal tax) for business people that make less than 25m annually.

However, I am not even trying to change your orientation about black tax. But, whether you like it or not, it will continue to be one of the major reasons for propagation of corruption.

Simeonjoe1:
There's nothing wrong with black tax. And Nigerians are not dangerous people, infact we are one of the best. Why then are Nigerians bad? Because of our hard socioeconomic climate. Bad economy brings the worst and desperation in people hence Nigeria factor.

The abroad you mentioned, men earned way more than women, men contribute way more in the family than women (its never 50/50, a research even shows that men contributed 70% to household finances in the US, and in some 100%).
This shows even in advance society men will always contribute more financially, that's why the advocacy for equal gender pay is still a touching stone.

Make God just provide for everybody (all men out there). Nature is never fair to men. Men are created to toil and suffer for others before you'll even consider yourself.

Yeah, we are saying the same thing. Like you posited, abroad some women still contribute 30% to the home. It means there is no hard rule to how you run your home.

Nobody is saying it should be 50-50 here. In fact, it can be 90-10 or 80-20.

And, no, everything is wrong with black tax. The economy you want to grow how will it grow when the leaders are under pressure to use money to satisfy everybody in their villages?

Simeonjoe1:
True, but note majority of women are not really like that, they are not created to cater for majority of finances. Even if she start doing at first she'll starts grumbling later, as an man you'll even feel less of yourself and uncomfortable when a woman start catering for majority of the responsibility no matter how learned you are.
Omo that's why I pray for conditions where a man can no longer meet his financial obligations due to economic hardship, even if it happens it shouldn't be for long..
This in particular had caused a lot of marital problems

The situation you described here majorly happens in Nigeria. Something is fundamentally wrong with our perception of marriage. Can you go abroad as a woman and expect the man to carry all the financial burdens in the home?

Nigerians are dangerous people everywhere they go because of pressure such as these.

The same man black tax, he's also expected to provide 100% for wife and kids before they see him as a man.

Many Nigerians will continue to steal till Jesus comes. You know why?

Because we have a warped mentality such as the one where a man is expected to conjure money out of thin air in a restrogressive economy.

ekerintee:
so what happens if the man is not financially strong like the woman, the woman will just fold her hands and will not support .You dont need to tell a resaponsible woman to help in little things.If there is a monthly bill of 500k , what stops the woman from voluntarily paying 50k.if a man earns very well to carry 100% of the bills, nothing is wrong if he carries it 100% but what i see now are bunch of women who dont care if the man is able to carry all d load, all they after is for the man to carry all even if he will steal or do rituals for them to live comfortably.There is no fast rule,every family is differnt.A man and woman shud support each other,there is nothing wrong if a woman decides on her own to be responsible for some aspect of the bills as a way of support.

This is what I'm saying man. They turned relationship and marriage to something else.

In a nutshell, men should start committing suicide if they cannot meet up with the needs of their family even if they have wives that work and make good money. Whereas, the women are supposed to be there as helpmate.

Simeonjoe1:
Well maybe evolution of culture and societal values as a man nothing should concern you what your wife is financially bringing to the table atleast not much.
If she has all those qualities mention (that's her primary role) financial support is just secondary.

There's one thing everyman wants- a woman that can take care of the home, help raise responsible children, treat him as a lord and give him peace of mind. Money is least consideration.

Walahi if you get this kind wife you'll live long

If the sole purpose of asking a woman "what are you bringing to the table" is as described by the op, then, there is no need to ask the question in the first place.

You can see all those attributes and traits by mere observation. So, why should the man ask the woman what she's bringing to the table when all he wants are intangible ?

I'm cooking in the kitchen, you asked me what I'm bringing to the table, I replied, "emotional intelligence."

Since you were expecting me to have emotional intelligence before going into the kitchen why ask me what I'm bringing to the table?

This op is funny, and then saying you don't want to hear people make comments about what both parties have to bring to the table.

Whatever you wrote up there is mainly your opinion. There is no hard fact or square rule about how people lead their lives.

You are comparing intangible things to tangible things . Everything you listed up there that a woman should bring to the table, does not necessarily need to be between a man and his wife. All the things you listed for a woman to bring to the table are intangible.

Can you carry out successful business deals, or even be classed as humans with a purpose if you don't have those traits you listed for both the man and the woman?

You even wrote that a man should bring shared responsibility to the table.

Your colleagues, relatives, business associates, etc., cannot consistently give you money to take care of your family. Money is tangible!

So, when we ask a woman what she's bringing to the table, we are asking her to what extent does she want to contribute financially in the home.

Nobody made it a rule that men must be the sole provider in a home.

So, I'll say speak for yourself man.

She is the one that is willing to divorce him, not the other way round. The blame should not entirely go to the guy because he didn't use and dump her.

It was just a little misunderstanding that the two of them couldn't manage like sensible adults.

kelvindj98:
You can't request renewal anymore once your expired passport passes10 years. You will have to apply for a new one.

Hmmm, thanks for the insight.

Hi guys, what will someone do if their passport expired a long time ago (2010) and they wish to renew it now?

Would it be advisable for the applicant to visit an immigration office for assisted application or one can still use the DIY approach?

Obviously, it appears like the assisted application is a rip off.

Who had an experience like this recently?

Well, I think both of them have to work on themselves. They can still save this union. Whatever happened between them is due to lack of understanding.

Israel appears to be a man that don't take instructions. What Sheila had offered him was a very good advice. What becomes of him if Davido retires from music today?

Sheila too has her own flaws. She was to use petting, advice, and foresight to help him start another business. He can be a hypeman and still run business by the sides. Also, I think she thinks too highly of herself now that she has arrived.

In addition to the inputs by UyaiIncomparabl....

Prayer: If you're a christian, both of you should join the prayer unit of your denomination. Learn to pray together.

Washing: I don't think there's a rule that says clothes must be washed with your hands! I hope you get it?

Water fetching: Technology was invented to make our lives easier and to make us do things faster. At this age, we do not wake up at 4am to go fetch water from the stream. Think about it.

Jewessgratitud3:
A wrong person is a lazy man or woman not industrious or willing to add value to themselves.
A dirty and disorganized person too can be very frustrating and make you lose interest in him/her and the marriage.

A wrong person is one who disrespects you in public and in private. Worst still, public.

A wrong person is a drunkard or clubber.
A wrong person is a jealous fellow. They don't want you to be bigger or better than them.

A wrong person is a woman or Man beater.
A stingy man too. I left a very rich handsome pastor for this. Stingy man of God. I just told him to look front for his wife.

A wrong person is one who doesn't fear God.

You mean he's handsome and rich, how is he stingy?

I mean, how would you know (the characteristics of) a stingy rich man?

Merry100:
1 Timothy 5:16
If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

Try to be logical, in other verses including the verse 16 you quoted genders where specified, it is only in verse 8 that it was not specified. NLT is a new translation Bible, the older translations used the term "he and his" to specify in verse 8. Anyway, I won't agrue with you on this.

Personally, I don't advise women to become liabilities but it is very well known that Biblically men are expected to provide for their family.

In Exodus 21:10 Moses urged men not to stop providing for their first wives even after they marry another wife, which means men usually provide for their wives. Though in the same verse, Moses permitted marrying more than one wife because of the hardness of people's heart but Jesus explained the law better when He came to the world.

Exodus 21:10
If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

The passage you quoted above is about a daughter sold as a slave, and betrothed to the son of the master. Who provides food for a slave?

So, I will like to know. You are trying to say a woman has no financial responsibility in the home?

It's only the man that will do everything? If you believe a woman has financial responsibilities in the home, then what are her responsibilities?

My own argument is that both of them are told to provide, not just the man.

Now, you'll see how a woman should provide here: Proverbs 32:13-16.

She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.

So, what are you saying about a woman should not work if she likes?

Your man should provide for you fine, you too play your own part, just do something for your husband and family.

Merry100:
You can keep your virginity to honour God's law concerning sexual purity, you are not meant to keep your virginity for your wife at the first instance. Imagine my guy telling me he kept his virginity for me, what do I want to use his virginity for, all I want is for my guy to be faithful to me.

Whether you are keeping it to honour God, or your husband it doesn't matter. What matters is obedience to God's word, simple.

Moreover, if you have the opinion that one can do whatever they like with their body (since God will forgive them and they don't want to keep it for a mere husband), then, why were you asking me about the guy you mentioned earlier? Is this not the same thing he was reiterating?

Merry100:
But you replied me when I quoted the person that made the statement that means you are in support of what he said. You should have also quoted him if you are not bias.

If we are to go by the Bible it's not wrong for a woman to refuse to work, even widows are expected to be supported financially and in 1 Timothy 5, the term she was mentioned in some verses before verse 8 where he was mentioned, does this not imply that the message was directed to men?

1 Timothy 5
5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I really may not have time to be going back and forth on this.

However, this is another translation of the same verse you are quoting:
New Living Translation (1 Tim 5

5:8. But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

5:16 If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church. Then the church can care for the widows who are truly alone.

How would you take care of someone if you are unemployed yourself?

You said widows are even justified if they don't work. Well. Why I will not want to concern myself with that, we are not focusing on widows here.

We are discussing the issue of man and woman, husband and wife.

Merry100:
Most of you just enjoy twisting the Bible to your advantage.

Let me refresh your memories. In your first comment you wrote this "There’s a reason why your kpekus is sealed by God. It’s only for your husband."

Two can play the game.

I am not the one. Maybe it was someone else. No, you should not play that game. I've come to realise that the corruption of this world will make people who don't do it seem to miss out at the end of the day.

Imagine keeping yourself as a man or woman and you couldn't find a member of the opposite sex, who even claimed to be christian like you being chaste/pure?

Men and women keeping themselves till marriage is both scriptural and cultural.