₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I don talk am tire! Not everyone is cut out to be a parent! Imagine having to deal with that kind of emotional abuse on a regular basis. Why some of dem no go turn to do exactly what you have been hounding them to do eventually?

Why you nor buy the iPhone 8 and send to the kid (no pun intended)? What emotional abuse is there when the father did not even flog her.

He only said what was running through his mind. Maybe the kid has failed Jamb several times, and the next thing she's asking for is for an iPhone?

Merry100:
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

It is God's design for man and woman to become one, and He provided reproductive organs that are intended for joint participation and not individual functioning. The reproductive organs in both male and female are needed by both genders and meant for the use of both genders, it seems God shared organs between both genders so that they can collaborate rather than giving each genders organs that will enable them to function individually. Hymen was simply assigned to women while God was doing the sharing. Its presence does not imply that the law concerning sexual purity applies exclusively to women. Its presence conveys a message of sexual purity to both genders, just as the reproductive organs in both genders functions collaboratively.

The law of sexual purity unquestionably applies to both men and women. If you believe that God excluded men from the law of sexual purity and permitted them to fornicate, who are they supposed to fornicate with?

Can you even specify a verse in the Bible where God declared that virginity is exclusively for women or permitted men to engage in fornication?

Why are you even crying? I thought you were playing a game of assumptions. Hope you know that two can play the game?

Where in my comment did you see any mention of sexual purity before wedding as a requisite for women only?

I was more concerned about you saying men are to work to provide for women. As if that's the purpose of creation of a man.

The passage you quoted says:
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

That text specifically did not say a man. I know you get why he was used in that context.

There are many wealthy women in the bible. The same bible that many women are using as an excuse to be lazy.

I also hope you know that the role of provision given to a woman is almost equal or even much more than of a man (If you need it, I'll post it here)?

Well, I support a man providing for his household, but when you say a man should "spoil" his wife, are the women also spoiling their husbands in return? Men are not robots too, they like to be "spoiled".

Merry100:
Broke guys don't deserve a partner.
There is a reason why God told men to till the ground and provide for their wives. Your wife deserves to be treated like a queen. You can't be broke and expect an innocent woman to marry you. Your financial status matters as a man!

Can you show anywhere where God said broke men should not find love? Even the first wedding that Jesus attended, the wine finished. Wine dey finish for rich man wedding?

More so, where is it ever written that a man should till the ground to provide solely for his wife?

Dexy4yah:
Every living soul in Nigeria is fukin selfish....tueeh


Wahala for who carry marriage matter for head sha

I think I just discovered this. I think marriage is about the smartest person now.

No more sacrifices, compromises, help, support, love, vision, determination, friendship, and defense again in the institution.

"Taking care of me" is the only motive for today's marriages, and you know the gender that's pushing it!

Jewessgratitud3:
Any man whos not ready to bear responsibilities should stay on his own now... Abi Dem dey force una?

Okay, the men understand.

Jewessgratitud3:
Anyhow you see am.

I see, I understand what you mean. You mean, if a man got married at 30 and dies at 95. If he had two kids. He would have carried the responsibilities of four people, plus his aged parents, plus the responsibilities of his siblings, plus that of his inlaws (including the siblings of his wife) all alone?

You see why we say women are inconsiderate. You think it's only the wife's responsibility he wants to carry?

Sixty-five years of toiling to keep smiles on the faces of some people, without any form of appreciation, support, motivation, reward, and all?

What would it take you to support him with just a few amount monthly as a partner?

Jewessgratitud3:
Anything that makes you see a woman as stingy means you're relying on her money or depending on her for one form of survival or the other and that is why you can even know she's stingy in the first place.

The example you gave even defeats your claims because someone at the point of death is highly dependent on anothers financial assistance. so....however that's not the point I was trying to make. All I'm saying is, never put your hopes on a woman's money.. as in...let her ability/inability to spend for you not be your reasons for marrying or not marrying her. if she can have money, you too can. Period!

This is the funniest piece I've read. So, a man should not consider if a woman is stingy?

He has all the money so, he won't notice the woman is stingy, because he is blind, his brain is half-dead, and he is a machine whose responsibility is only to provide till he dies? Okay.

NoToPile:
Honestly at bolded, the way they keep pushing that narrative which is one sided is concerning.

It's common sense if all you are providing is money why should someone provide money plus the other things.

Nature has shared the role and if there has to be an adjustment for whatever reason it has to be on both sides but iro oo, it's only the woman that must adjust to add making money to her own role, the man should keep making money only, what is he adding to the money making, you say it they keep quiet or they say kini big deal, well homemaking is not big deal blehbleh bleh and they can't survive 1 hour with 2 children under 5.


Women are already making money it's an indisputable fact let the NL men be useful for something else apart from making money if they want bills to be shared.


2nd bolded answer is Money only according to Nairalanders.

The 2nd scam that is being pushed by women these days is that it is when you share bills your husband will respect you, some have nicknamed it sense of responsibility I laugh when I read such posts as if they are not aware there are women who are even bread winners that being ridiculed, disrespected, beaten and cheated upon by the same man they sponsor.


All na scam.


Gbogbo wa la ma wa alright

Well, if one looks at it from the perspective of inputs in marriage, the woman will feel cheated if she has to do *all the house chores* while also sharing in the bills.

Abroad, the home responsibility is shared. In Nigeria, a man only calls for support because of the dwindling economy.

So, let's assume the woman only contributes about 5-20% of the shared responsibilities.

The man should be able to do an equivalent amount of house chores.

Also, when their children become adults, the chores will no longer be in their dictionary (except probably cooking).

So, an African woman should not believe because she contributed 5% of shared bills, house chores will be shared 50:50. Just my take.

BloomingDale:
Toxic ke? She is working and splitting the bill 50/50 and yet you want her to do all the housework by herself so she can grow old before her time while you ditch her for a younger model. What a selfish human being you are. Ladies you better wise up.

So, women don't see men as tools?

Also, how is a woman a financial tool to a man? You said she has her own money.

Given that she claimed the money as hers alone and she doesn't want to split bills, how does her money become a tool to a man?

Blitzking:
This simple but very important rule is everywhere but if u aren't observsnt u won't realise it even women reveal it unconsciously. The holy book also speaks about it.

This is wrong! The holy book also instructed women to love their husbands. Titus 2:4-5.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

advanceDNA:
?? I nor understand you...
This one wey you dey hyperventilate dey mention people.... .try rest small ooo b4 u burst a vessel

Been wondering what's going on here o. Just one man complaining about his fiancee not wanting a court wedding, and the ladies here are taking it as something else.

Does the opinion or experience of one man determine that of other men in the country?

Ololade4:
Good day House.. I am an ardent Nairalander but I am using another identity to cover up..

It's almost over a year now that i started the journey with her, I met her parents 4 months ago, I was told by her day that thier daughter is not free( bride price things) normally... we talked it out and we decided to get marriage.. I am 35, she's 32. She has a 8 years old boy out of wedlock, the boy stays with her parent.. I don't have any problem with that, Single mother is not a disease.. we have being living together since March this year, just like a couple and i decided to tie the knot with her later in the year which we both agreed on.

So we both agreed to go for registry then normal engagement and rest the case.. she later changed her mind, she doesn't want the court registry anymore (i am not move with this anyway, but why? Is she having another secret affairs elsewhere, or maybe she's thinking she may leave if things go south, like she doesn't want to get into a legal marriage that will hinder her from having choice in the nearest future, because I don't understand..).. She only want Engagement, without the court registry for now.
Anytime her parents, especially her mom ask her about it in the wedding plan, she will tell her we will do it later in the future .
As a man in the first place I don't need to worry about this in the first place, because all this court marriage registration only favor the woman and I know most of them crave for it...

But she... What is she up to??

Well, just wondering.
Who earns more income or owns more assets between you and her?

Hathor5:
All the women you know are jobless?

The fact that a woman is working means a man should assume that she will support him?

Most times, women tend to avoid discussions on the topic of finances before marriage. Once a man starts talking about finances and responsibilities, they assume he wants to push his responsibilities to them.

Evestar200:
Two to four is a lot.

I stopped anything relationship since 2021.

The society is too full of heartless and selfish people.

Everyone is just after profits without considering the feelings and mental health of others.

What can one term as selfishness in both sexes. Like, what could make a man selfish?

Jeon:
If wishes were horses again.

make I follow you laff small.




Men do pay for sex in many ways.
1, Money .
2, Career.
3, Life.
4, Destiny.




No one don dig me, so stop using the wom3n you met to satisfy yourself in my discussion.


And do you want to know why relationships is hard again?

It's because most people can't respect their private parts. After hoeing around they wanna settle down with someone that secured the temple of GOD and denied himself /herself the explore.

Meaning say " Nah you want better thing because the other person not get sense ".

Your last statement is sooo true.

Can you explain what you mean by men pay for sex through career, life and destiny?

I chose the family thread to create this topic because I feel I can get matured advice here.

I think the society needs to have a redefinition about the roles of men and women in marriage.

So, I've been thinking lately why there seems to be many toxic relationships and marriages.

From my findings, women only want to bring prayers, advice, and fertility to the marital table. I think this is wrong. How do married men even cope with this idea?

1. If prayer works like the women themselves opined, then, every woman on earth should be rich. Isn't that what they have chosen as their purpose?

Why look for a readymade man when it's your prayers that will make your husband rich? Why not marry a random man and let your prayers make him rich?

2. If a man became wealthy as a bachelor; let's assume our bachelor has a networth of 80 million naira before meeting a lady with less than 300k naira as her total networth.

This lady believes the guy should marry her so that she can give him pieces of advice as her only contribution to his life?
I'm kind of lost here.

This guy made his money without getting any piece of advice from you.

Why would you believe this is what you are bringing into marriage?

2b. When a woman meets a rich man, she expects him to marry her even with a court wedding. She expects them to automatically become joint owners of his properties merely because she wedded him. I'll leave this at this.

3. It takes a fertile man and a fertile woman to make a baby. Even if you go to sperm bank, or you are using artificial means of insemination, you still need a fertile sperm.

So, why should a woman bring only fertility when the man is also bringing his own fertility?

So, I believe the idea of marriage should be redefined. Women should at least know how important it is to earn an income and support their families.

Making money is hard. If not so, everyone on earth should be using either a Ferrari or a Rolls-Royce.

This is entirely my opinion anyways, but this is why I think marriage needs to be redefined by the society.

Married folks in the house, please how do you deal with these?

emmaodet:
Exactly what I wrote.
People underestimate the effect of poverty on marriages.
So many many marriage have been stretched to the limit due to poverty. So many are the brink of collapsing due to poverty.
Have seen typical traditional so called good African women open up after been pushed to the wall by poverty in marriages claiming they wish to exit the marriage if not for stigma.
Have heard this statement from my mom, my aunt who is my mom immediate younger sister, my sister in-law married and struggling in marriage, many FWB and Ex etc
Most of them are scared of what the future holds for them if they leave, the stigma and shame to their own family, what the pastor and church will say.
Religion really plays a big role while most are staying. Likewise African culture but both are wading away and we are seeing the rise of women who are not culturally inclined and don't give a damn what the society will say.
They pack out without looking back, they multi date many men without caring who talks, they do so many horrible things without caring whose horse is gored.

I just had to comment here. See, this will continue to happen. A society where the women believe the only thing they should contribute to the life of a man is prayers and fertility. I sometimes wonder. If prayer so works why are the ladies not rich themselves? Why is it that no struggling woman has been able to pray a struggling man to wealth? Why do ladies look for made-men since it's their prayers that is making a man rich? Isn't it funny that the women you mentioned up there want to leave their marriages and look for another man ( a made-man) to marry? What had happened to their prayers in their first marriages?

pocohantas:
Exactly what you should have understood before your initial mention to save everyone time.

You are the one not understanding me. You are equating being young to provision. How would you equate them?
I understand that choices are choices, but being young (the requirements for a woman) cannot be equated with being able to provide (the requirements from men).

pocohantas:
Neither is anything wrong in a woman looking for a provider male. She shouldn't just marry any old, struggling or unproductive man. Thank you

Why not? She should continue looking for her provider male, and the male looking for a younger woman.

pocohantas:
Yes na. Unto non-transactional love. Any small thing they will throw in "transactional" all in a bid to guilt-trip women. Like they weren't transactional while looking for young submissive and homely women. We draw the line on provision.

Maybe there's something I am missing here. But, what is transactional about looking for a young, homely, and submissive woman? You mean a man should marry just any woman, or a man should marry an old, defiant, and unwelcoming woman?
What is transactional about being young? Everyone was young at one time or the other....

bamideleoyin:
Add me too o
08147447849

Hi, would like to make friends. Can I connect with you in WhatsApp?

tescoleps:
Shared room available for a female. €350 per month in Adamstown. Please send me a message if you are interested or know someone who is interested.

I need your assistance, so, I sent you a message. Can we connect via email?

Is it still wise to buy dollars at this time? I mean, instead of naira investments, if one decides to buy and hold dollars now, is it a wise decision?

woginid967:
Secretary
Teaching
P.A

I am based in Lagos sir. Can I apply for the position of a personal assistant?

Comment removed.

Jah bless

evb2000:
1. I don't use AI for my content. It is a recipe for account termination. But sometimes i use it to craft table of content.

2a. DIY after watching several Youtube videos. Check Shommy michael's video on YT, it helped me alot, especially with compilation of documents and putting them together in clickable format

2b. Check out Olu of Canada's website and click the link to his telegram page. It is a DIY telegram group with so many success stories. By all means, avoid agents, they will mess you up. When you join the telegram page, you will hear horrible stories abt unlicensed agents. If you must used an agent (which i don't recommend), use an IRCC licensed agent.

Thanks man for the reply. Thanks again.

Passionet:
You can still use chatgpt now but don't use it for non-fiction books as it's hallucinating at the moment. You also have bing chat, just turn to creative mode, and you can use gpt 4, good for non-fiction books as it's connected to the internet and live data. You only need to understand how to prompt. You can search for "prompts for writing a book" or tell bing chat to give you guide. Claude 2 is also very powerful in writing a book. There's also google bard which is free for all now, good for book writing. You only need these tools to guide you in your work and not a total substitute to your intellect.

Thanks.

Hi @Evb2000,
I check your KDP diary from time to time and I am greatly inspired.
Congratulations on your feat.

Since you said we can ask questions even about japa. These are my questions:

1. For writing, do you use a software/AI to craft your piece? If so, which would you recommend?

2a. Did you use an agent for your travel plans or it was DIY? If you used an agent, maybe you can recommend. I understand you are not an agent. Just a referral will do.

2b. But if you DIY. Can you kindly state the steps/methods you used to compile your documents? From IELTS, to travel history, business registration, to land ownership? This will be of tremendous help.

Yours,

eagleonearth:
is it only by drinking and smoking (slowly killing yourself) that people become sociable??

Can you recommend other ways that people can become more sociable? You can drop some suggestions.

CaptMarvel:
All of you that are like that, you should come together and be friends with yourself.

You say make introverts become friends with themselves? Na who go first talk? I think introverts should try and make friends with extroverts. It'll make them more open.

remsonik:
This is me, I don't socialize. Never been to a bar or club. I don't go to programs I am not invited except church program. I don't visit friends of opposite gender.

I've come to realise that christianity will make people become introverts. You can't drink, can't smoke, can't do all the things that make people socialites....