₦airaland Forum

#edited by twerkjack, story by Tricia. Hi I'mTricia and ȋ̝̊̅̄
Live at lagos. Ok so ȋ̝̊̅̄
Meet dis guy on my way to school, he's what u can call classy, he's handsome, sexy and super rich apparently. So he gives me a ride to school, we exchange numbers and then after weeks of wooing ȋ̝̊̅̄
Finally agreed to pay him a casual visit at his house. So ȋ̝̊̅̄
Pimped up so much (u might think I'm a mermaid) hehe to impress him. I'm a plus size mind u. So at his place (marvelous building) we just sat chattin until ȋ̝̊̅̄
Felt pressed, ȋ̝̊̅̄
Wanted to excuse ma self when he immediately said Trish (short for Tricia) see the movie u said u liked, hmmm so ȋ̝̊̅̄
Put it off and Got talking. This thing (need to poo) came again the second time, dis time harder so ȋ̝̊̅̄
Suddenly jumped up to run to the bathroom with dat force ȋ̝̊̅̄
Unknowingly let out a loud and long fart. Jeez ȋ̝̊̅̄
Felt like meltin as he just stared at me with disgust. This was not only loud buh the stench lingered for long. This guy didn't even as much as say a word (HW can ȋ̝̊̅̄
Start explaining now?) he just left the parlour to his bedroom and came out ten minutes later with an air freshner and started sprayin everywhere not mindin ȋ̝̊̅̄
Was sitting there. ȋ̝̊̅̄
Was so uncomfortably hot (sweatin under Äc) he went in dressed up and said he was leaving the house so ȋ̝̊̅̄
Should probably go, he didn't even offer to gimme a ride, he gave 3k for t.p and he never called me again after dat.

YungwizzzyPt7:
Thank God?


1. Black
2. Slim (obviously with small brea st and yanshh)


and you call her beauty?

so u like em fat? Nice choice ill introduce to ma meat supplier. Hehehehehe ȋ̝̊̅̄
Think ur disgusting though lolz

lilmaxfidel:
wait o...peace....haating and jealousy...omarion is an american singer i know i uploaded his pics to cmpare him with maself cuz we kinda resemble....so no hatinq ok....i hate violence...good night bruh

.+droolin+ ȋ̝̊̅̄
Think ur as handsome as ƮϦȩ Roman god Apollo, dats ƮϦȩ truth, ur blessed with good looks, what a guy u are, although I'm not into just good looks (ƮϦȩ money gotta follow hehehe) and since none of dem guys have had ƮϦȩ nerve to upload Their pic here because Their afraid of critics, ur undisputedly the cutest guy on NL. If u were ugly dey wouldn't pay attention buh so long as ur havin dis much attention from dem it only means dat dey wanna be like u buh since dey can't Their gonna try to make u feel bad abt urself. So pay no attention n just have fun with it. After dem go say girls dey hate. Mtcheeeeew

incredibleone:
deal with the girls on ya neck,hope u survive d attack

ȋ̝̊̅̄
survive hostility at its peak from girls in ma agency (u know Ħ☺Ɯ girls dey jel na) models not these fatties. So what makes u think dat silly comments made by a herd of rhinos could bother anyone lolz. ȋ̝̊̅̄
Enjoy it, it makes me feel like a celeb hehe. Ok Enuf nastiness though ȋ̝̊̅̄
Just intended to create a thread for pictures of nairalanders u dnt like it dat dnt stop me from digestin ma plate of akpu and ofe owerri

hatux:
Bro' Burna Boy is a talented artiste... Listen to his songs and try listen to his lyrics, he's got bad flows/lyrics...

burna ma boy. He's like ....dididididadididididadan mehn dat guy is Tosh

Adminisher:
Tiwa Savage is not facially beautiful?. Why do young Nigerians tell bold face lies?. Tiwa Savage' s face is finer than most of the celebrities here with the exception of Omotola and maybe Chika Eke. On top of that the figure is trim and modern not running to fat. Please stop the deliberate Tiwa bashing.

my dear tell them o. ȋ̝̊̅̄
Wonder where the kangaroo dat wrote this was imported from. Fat does, and has never qualified as sexy in anyway buh Nigeria. No wonder naija girls aren't listed in ƮϦȩ worlds country with most beautiful girls. Tiwa savage has been internationally voted naija's sexiest celeb both facially and bodily. ȋ̝̊̅̄
Don't like her, but its true. ....go knock ur head for tree if u dnt like it.

Chanchit:
Bae, na your pix be that.! Choi, over sexy sef dey worry you.

hahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahha. Boy ur hilarious. Buh seriously is dat person meant for sacrifice to a deity in zimbabwe? Cos she sure looks it lolz

tempex88:
U. Joined yesterday and already posting ds kain topic

I've been on nairaland longer than u ok? Just with a different account. Say wat u know, if ur not sure shut it.

sexymoma:
Nor be lie i write na

ma sister no be lie ABI? U get mouth, let's see a picture of urs. If u aint stretchmarked pig dat is

incredibleone:
u ar cute and very sexy...but honestly,with this level of maturity,u are as ugly as shit

u look blind lolz cute doh

pweetixandy:
I admire ur confidence,even without the hips and boo.bs,u still think u are hot. Soooo,carry go

I'm hot nd no one can MK me feel bad abt ma self, get it? Dummy. U think ur better post a pic of ur fat obessed body here. Else where's ur confidence? Cow!

idu1:
Is this how to write? U better get serious or leave this place......

sorry sir hopin to get writin lessons from u. Bad mouthed morons

Kefetjey:
My own definition of beauty is brain. I easily get attracted to intelligent guys despite facial appearance....though it counts at times

what's yours?

ȋ̝̊̅̄
Like guys fat wallets, pockets, bank accounts and lots of zeroes in Their cheques. So attractive.

LEAFLET:
I am wondering if i am alone on this...There is this growing trend about every guy preferring fairer ladies to dark ones but my case is different..I don't find fair girls sexy in any away and it's a great turn off for me...Any other brother with me here? Abi na only me waka come?...

light skinned guys irritate me. ȋ̝̊̅̄
Like em slim and dark

axortedbabe:
words from a stingy dude..

exactly! And a poor one at dat. Dem big guys never complain. They even give without bein asked. Buh dis poor, stingy ones requiire u to do ur duty as an African woman, cook, clean f**k buh for dem to do Their own duty, they come online and post rubbish. OTONDO!

Dreyl:
That headphone ain't worth million of dollas,all you fvcking bloggers like exaggerating things.

as in eh. Ħ☺Ɯ much does he HV in his account dat he will spend over a hundred n sixty million naira on headphone? Mumu bloggers mtcheeeeeeew.

We're about to know Ħ☺Ɯ much hotties we've got here on nairaland. Ok on dis thread, u post a hot, casual pic of urs (no much makeup or props) and do the critics to dat of others. Ƙ lemme start.

cirmuell:
Just be you, that's all that matters

that's right I'm slim and sexy nd no one and ȋ̝̊̅̄
Mean no one can make someone with a body as mine to feel bad about themselves. So dem guys can go to hell

Ok straight to what triggered this. ȋ̝̊̅̄
HV dis guy (friend) he's well successful (which is Ϣһƴ ȋ̝̊̅̄
Love him) and ȋ̝̊̅̄
Try my best to MK him happy. Buh he's satisfaction is hardly ever constant. He's always insecure (probably because he's fat hehe) suspective, nd whenever ȋ̝̊̅̄
Dress really good or sexy to go out alone or with him or he spots me havin a conversation wit a guy (irrespective of who dey are to me) or if ȋ̝̊̅̄
Dnt feel like u know doin tins +winks+ he explodes, he shifts to ƮϦȩ oda end of ƮϦȩ bed and starts slowly with a sulken face "so where did u go today?" u Neva want me " "what dya call urself?" "dya even love me? Ϣһƴ dnt u prove it" and once ȋ̝̊̅̄
Utter one word, he starts goin on n on n on n on gosh. I'm really sick of dis. Is there any remedy? Plz

killjoy:
readers discretion adviced: this is a long post. get a bowl of popcorn and your glasses. turn off the TV , you don't want to get distracted. if it took me time to write such a lengthy post, I wonder why you should complain about reading it. below are the reasons.

1. We're too different to live together: women love people and relationships, men love objects (like cars, houses, gadgets, game consoles etc), a man's lot is his career, a woman's is marriage (according to the curse after the fall of man), women are indirect, men are always direct, men want sex before they develop feelings for women, women can't have sex without emotional attachment first(unless they r who.res, even if they are who.res lolzzz), a man wants to hv sex, a woman wants to make love (I swear she doesn't even mind just cuddling), men see having dinner as a time to quench hunger, women see having dinner as time for bonding, let me continue? A married man without money feels unfulfilled, a wealthy woman without a man feels similarly, I can go on and on! But no time, my point, you need a lot of patience, tolerance, understanding, endurance, compromise etc to survive in marriage. But life is too short, stay single and be free to be urself or get married and spend the rest of your life struggling to be another person. Continue reading, this is just one of seven.

2. Love doesn't exist: if you intend to stake your future with a woman on an emotion as erratic as love, then you need to have ur head examined. Love is an emotional convulsion which, like other sicknesses, are recovered from with time. Experience has thought me that a woman's love is only skin deep, but you can accentuate it with money. Ohhhh how women react to the smell of cash. Bleep love and go make some muller.

3. You don't need a child: the world will remember you by the kids you left behind. That's a big fat lie!! You don't need a carbon copy of yourself roaming the earth after your demise to ensure your immortality. Instead, the world will remember you by the feats you surmounted! Obama will be remembered not as the father of, I don't even know his child's name and I don't give a fvck bout it! But as the first black US President. Mother Theresa never had a child, Einstein's legacy is not his kids but his discoveries. My point! You are not remembered by the kids you had but the records you set. But if you badly want a kid, adopt one, or get a baby mama and impregnate her but never, never get married just to have kids. marriage is too great a price to pay.

4. There is absolutely nothing new marriage has to offer you: just be honest with yourself. A family? You already belong to one (or do you think you just appeared out of thin air?), love? Your mother loves you like die, trust moi. A woman to manage your home? Get a maid! pay her well and she will manage your home without complications like disrespecting you, PMS, etc. Sex? Gone are the days men marry for sex ooo!!! Sex is damn cheap, you don't need marriage to enjoy it. By the way, what makes you think getting married entitles you to sex when you want it, ie, if at all?? U never jam female Hitler. Continue reading, I'm not even close to the end.

5. Marriage is expensive: a woman's problems end when she gets married (at least on financial level), while a man's problems just begin. Most ladies don't have plans of making money(some stop after getting married). for a woman, after graduating from uni, a husband is top on d list above a job ie, if a job is on the list. Guys, stay alone and worry for one. Apart from financially, marriage drains you emotionally. You have to deal with a partner suffering from PMS five days in a month for life (by the time she reaches menopause, you'd be probably dead) and when she ain't suffering PMS, its worse cos she is pregnant!! Don't forget regular mood swings, test games, among other complicated female emotional ailments. Plus wait till you get divorced before you know how much financially and emotionally expensive marriage could be. That brings us to...

6. It may end up in divorce: possible causes of divorce. She gains weight, sex with one person for years gone stale and boring, the love (or whatever dumb ass name you call it) fades, you want a new woman, (men are polygamous by nature, hard truth. Deal with it), she is no longer the woman you married, (true, women do change after marriage for many reasons, that is story for another day), you cheat on her, she cheats on you, many many more. Don't scar yourself with a painful divorce. Stay single and happy.

7. You get to focus on your dreams without distractions. Like I said earlier, a man's career is his lot (or curse). As s man if you haven't got a successful career, you will probably die unhappy and unproductive. The compromise you have to make to keep her happy will retard you from achieving your dreams to the fullest. Pleasing a woman and pursuing your dreams are mutually exclusive. don't get married.

disclaimer: its ironic when people say honesty is a virtue yet can't bear to hear (or read) the truth.

nota bene: I am not prejudiced towards women. I hate all equally.

I'm a woman and yet ȋ̝̊̅̄
Feel ur soooooooooo right. Infact no one can be righter. ȋ̝̊̅̄
Think the idea of marriage is crap livin ur whole life with a completely different person in ƮϦȩ name of compatibility, puulease.

MrKnowitall:
Thanks for the complements. I know what you really mean to say. Thanks. But the women that I've talked to wouldn't touch you with a 20ft pole. They wouldn't even look at you twice. But we all have our own levels. Thanks again for the complements.

dope.hehe dis has gotta hurt.

Iyaoloja:
What is your skin tone (color)? For the darker skin, QEI with Almond Oil is a good place to start from, this would get you about 2 shades lighters. And the next step, after using the QEI with almond oil for about 3 months should be the QEI+ with Shea Butter. This is actually one of my favorites for clients, it get you lighter while giving you a lovely even and bright complexion.
If you still want to get lighter, then QEI+ with Carrot oil, is the next step for a very active process. I've found that Privilege or Oriental are best used in the last lightening stage. Either of those 2; privilege and oriental, do a good job of brightening the skin some more while also maintaining it. With many lightening products, when used for a long duration, the skin starts to get damage, this is NOT the case with QEI+. Which is why it has done so well after so many years in the market.

Please note that there are many fake counterparts of the QEI+, I have seen some stores that sell the body wash of it. QEI+ does not manufacture it. Nor do they manufacture an extra large size of the body lotion....fake!

You may also purchase at:
www.iyaoloja.com

I'm light skinned buh ȋ̝̊̅̄
wanna get a shade or two lighter. ȋ̝̊̅̄
HV dis QEI+ in mind so which one will ȋ̝̊̅̄
Use first. The carrot or

adonbilivit:
you guys love each other so much but you just discovered he or she cant satisfy your intimate desires. would you still get married to him or her? guys answer these too. love is blind because you can not see what happens behind. mind you, you guys can comfortably reproduce so giving birth after marriage wont be an issue

if he has money, ȋ̝̊̅̄
Don mind ȋ̝̊̅̄
Could always ƮϦȩ oda one somewhere #lolz

PrincessB1:
Lip gloss

ȋ̝̊̅̄
Can do without lipp gloss I've got a natural glossy lip. Buh ȋ̝̊̅̄
Can't do without ma eye brow liner, gives ma face its best look.

radiant3:
It is absolutely wrong to sleep out at her age bt it is nt wrong to av a boyfriend considering d fact dat she is in her third year in d polytechnic



Being sexually active at d age of 16 is absolutely wrong too...

did u know dat a bill has been passed for child marriage in Nigeria? Children in some areas of the country have sex and bear children b4 14. Hypocrites!!

kelvindim:
OP we're on thesame boat, I also am a victim too.

serously dude. Poor guys irritate me so no matter Ħ☺Ɯ good u think u look, ill just do wat ȋ̝̊̅̄
Do best, 'kick ya to the curb' the most handsome guys in the world are the ones wit a fat bank account.

kelvindim:
OP we're on thesame boat, I also am a victim too.

serously dude. Poor guys irritate me so no matter Ħ☺Ɯ good u think u look, ill just do wat ȋ̝̊̅̄
Do best, 'kick ya to the curb' the most handsome guys in the world are the ones wit a fat bank account.

urhoboman:
Lol, u need the english lesson too.

hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahhahha #fall from bed laughin# hehehehehehehehhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhuhhahahahahahahahahahakekekekekekkekekekkekkeke #faints#

She's currently 19 and in her third year in a POLY. she has been sexually active ever she was 16/17 considerin dat was the year she gained admission into school, buh recently, her mother just discovered dat she slept out for ONE night, and she (mother) went into a frenzy, yellin at her and wat she kept repeatin was "at this age, at this age" hehehe. So ȋ̝̊̅̄
Wonder if its wrong to have a BF at 19, afterall when she's in school doin it her mom wasn't there to yell "at this age" lolz seriously, in white countries, 16 years olds are allowed to go out and f**k away. Why do we make a big deal outta it. And ȋ̝̊̅̄
Noticed dat 50% children from strict homes get preganant before 20. What dya think on it?