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Jokes Etc / Internal Memo by tytylayor: 9:14am On Jan 11, 2010 |
[center]INTERNAL MEMO[/center] FROM: FATHER TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES CC: MOTHER DATE: TODAY SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING Unavoidably, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation allowed. 1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from me upon submission of written request. Cases will be treated on first come serve basis. 2. Breakfast is banned. This matter is not for discussion. 3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, chocolates, bread and milk are RESTRICTED. Anyone intending to eat any of such food must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving convincing nutritional reasons backed by a qualified dietician’s recommendation. 4. Watering with hoses is banned. Furthermore, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted. (Mother please take note) 5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons. 6. Security lights are being removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roaster I shall make available shortly. 7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them. 8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s). 9. Use of Generators, torch lights, candles, lanterns of whatever make is banned. All residents are advised to go to bed once you can no longer see objects in front of you. 11. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Union Chairman, Village Head or Church Priest, giving 50 convincing reasons why they can't stay home. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away upon arrival. THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER. Thank you all for your understanding |
Jokes Etc / Re: *~ Romsky Voted The Jokes Section Poster Of The Year *~ Congratulations!! by tytylayor: 5:39pm On Jan 04, 2010 |
interesting |
Jokes Etc / Re: I Am Back! by tytylayor: 6:03pm On Dec 16, 2009 |
all they fink of is sex sex sex |
Jokes Etc / Re: If This Was Seun by tytylayor: 5:34pm On Dec 16, 2009 |
u just hear dat one today, ben? peejee, tke am easy dey swear for ur sef o |
Culture / Re: Can You Remember Those Pry Sch Songs We Love 2sing Back In D Days? by tytylayor: 5:25pm On Dec 16, 2009 |
Aiku, Aje, Isegun, Ojoru, Ojobo, Eti, Abameta (sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday) sere, erele, erena, ibe, ebibi, okudu, agemo, ogun, owere, owara, belu, ope (jan, feb, mar, pril, may, june, july, aug, sept, oct, nov, december) [size=28pt]Thread 2 of the year[/size] |
Jokes Etc / Re: If This Was Seun by tytylayor: 12:39pm On Dec 16, 2009 |
na true u tlk o ben, person dey gwarinpa, he say he dey japan, how gwarinpa and japan tke resemble, lol |
Jokes Etc / Re: If This Was Seun by tytylayor: 11:53am On Dec 16, 2009 |
recession don affect peejee brain o |
Culture / Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by tytylayor: 6:18pm On Dec 11, 2009 |
i_sincere: wat a sad experience, those area boys are mean ooo samtoye: to make it worst, go charter aboki wey no u/stnd inglish, na die be dat, lol had an experience today, tsewww |
Culture / Re: Common 'madness' In Lagos? by tytylayor: 6:16pm On Dec 10, 2009 |
[size=36pt]i love dis thread[/size] Eko baje ti |
Jokes Etc / Re: If This Was Seun by tytylayor: 4:05pm On Dec 09, 2009 |
romsky: lwqm, una bad ooo |
Jokes Etc / Re: Pix Talk by tytylayor: 6:42pm On Dec 03, 2009 |
final ansa nich |
Jokes Etc / Re: Pix Talk by tytylayor: 6:10pm On Dec 03, 2009 |
come tish me how to tlk now |
Jokes Etc / Re: Pix Talk by tytylayor: 5:57pm On Dec 03, 2009 |
nich: wats there, it looks like ori oko, ehn ehn |
Jokes Etc / Re: Sa Jokes by tytylayor: 5:12pm On Dec 03, 2009 |
laffingssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
Jokes Etc / Re: Daddy How was I born? by tytylayor: 7:28am On Dec 01, 2009 |
studio43 d bus conductor |
Jokes Etc / Re: Changes by tytylayor: 7:26am On Dec 01, 2009 |
shege bansa |
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Nigerian Football Animation by tytylayor: 7:24am On Dec 01, 2009 |
i guessed as much |
Jokes Etc / Re: The Blind Man! by tytylayor: 7:23am On Dec 01, 2009 |
he gat no option for dat |
Jokes Etc / Re: How To Make A Girl Scream by tytylayor: 7:05am On Dec 01, 2009 |
poor boy |
Jokes Etc / Re: Roflmao By Migines by tytylayor: 7:00am On Dec 01, 2009 |
ynx and God bless |
Jokes Etc / Re: Pix Talk by tytylayor: 6:33am On Dec 01, 2009 |
pirry |
Jokes Etc / Re: Barka Da Sallah To U All by tytylayor: 7:00pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
barca de zallah |
Jokes Etc / Re: The Best Joke Of 2009! A Must Listen! by tytylayor: 6:50pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
u dey jump |
Jokes Etc / Re: The Kings Mind Iz Here! Evri 1 Here! by tytylayor: 6:41pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
u can say dat again |
Jokes Etc / Re: Englsih Man Vs Yoruba And Calabar Man by tytylayor: 6:32pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
vice versa |
Jokes Etc / Re: The Power Of Money by tytylayor: 6:30pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
while it is extreme on makin me cry |
Jokes Etc / Re: Pix Talk by tytylayor: 6:29pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
with fate |
Jokes Etc / Re: My Generation Vs. Your Generation by tytylayor: 6:28pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
lemme check my diary |
Jokes Etc / Re: Dear All by tytylayor: 6:26pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
ATM dey reject d money o |
Jokes Etc / Re: Wahala Dey O ! by tytylayor: 6:24pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
*now i love dis* anoda bucket pls? |
Jokes Etc / Re: Daddy How was I born? by tytylayor: 6:22pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
learn not to interfere |
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