₦airaland Forum

[center]INTERNAL MEMO[/center]

FROM: FATHER
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
DATE: TODAY

SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING

Unavoidably, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation allowed.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from me upon submission of written request. Cases will be treated on first come serve basis.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter is not for discussion.

3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, chocolates, bread and milk are RESTRICTED. Anyone intending to eat any of such food must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving convincing nutritional reasons backed by a qualified dietician’s recommendation.


4. Watering with hoses is banned. Furthermore, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted. (Mother please take note)

5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

6. Security lights are being removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roaster I shall make available shortly.

7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

9. Use of Generators, torch lights, candles, lanterns of whatever make is banned. All residents are advised to go to bed once you can no longer see objects in front of you.

11. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Union Chairman, Village Head or Church Priest, giving 50 convincing reasons why they can't stay home. Failure to do this shall result in
their being turned away upon arrival.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER.


Thank you all for your understanding

interesting

all they fink of is sex sex sex

u just hear dat one today, ben?

peejee, tke am easy dey swear for ur sef o

Aiku, Aje, Isegun, Ojoru, Ojobo, Eti, Abameta (sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday)

sere, erele, erena, ibe, ebibi, okudu, agemo, ogun, owere, owara, belu, ope (jan, feb, mar, pril, may, june, july, aug, sept, oct, nov, december)

[size=28pt]Thread 2 of the year[/size]

na true u tlk o ben, person dey gwarinpa, he say he dey japan, how gwarinpa and japan tke resemble, lol

recession don affect peejee brain o

[quote author=i_sincere link=topic=364306.msg5093503#msg5093503 date=1260547263]LESSON 1: when an area boy offers to help you, accept with both hands

This happened to a friend of mine sometimes ago.He was driving back from work when he had a falt tyre on carter bridge. He stopped to change it . After he removed the flat tyre and brought out the spare, some area boys walked up to him offering to help. He told them not to worry that he would be fine. Lo and behold they carried both the spare tyre and and flat tyre, threw them into the sea and walked away. My guy was just lookin at them as they walk away not believin what he just saw. in Lagos anitin can happen[/quote]wat a sad experience, those area boys are mean ooo

samtoye:
There are two types of Okada riders in V.I , the normal okada, the Aboki- speed demons,

to make it worst, go charter aboki wey no u/stnd inglish, na die be dat, lol
had an experience today, tsewww

[size=36pt]i love dis thread[/size]


Eko baje ti

romsky:
na him face so comot d wat if

lwqm, una bad ooo

final ansa nich

come tish me how to tlk now

nich:
emmm, what do u see when u look @ this pix?

wats there, it looks like ori oko, ehn ehn

laffingssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

studio43 d bus conductor

shege bansa

i guessed as much

he gat no option for dat

poor boy

ynx and God bless

pirry

barca de zallah

u dey jump

u can say dat again

vice versa

while it is extreme on makin me cry

with fate

lemme check my diary

ATM dey reject d money o

*now i love dis*
anoda bucket pls?

learn not to interfere