PHCN acquire MTN



Nigerian Railway Corporation also acquire Celtel



And NIPOST is buying out Glo!!



Lastma is planning to buy Virgin Atlantic



And Etteh is taking over from Dora!!



Wealth Solution (wonder bank) has just bought IBTC



ALAO AKALA is taking over from Soludo as CBN Gov



Nigeria Police Force has acquired Transcorp Hilton



And our own ENYIMBA Football Club has just bought 91% shares in Arsenal FC in preparation for a takeover



PETER ODILI will be taking over from Nuhu Ribadu (EFCC)



ADEDIBU HAS BEEN NAMED THE NEW SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE UNITED NATIONS, IN RECOGNITION OF HIS ROLES IN STABILIZING DEMOCRAZY IN NIGERIA



THE Under-17 GOLDEN EAGLETS TURNED THEMSELVES IN AND RETURNED THE WORLD CUP BACK TO FIFA, SAYING THE YOUNGEST AMONG THEM IS 46YEARS OLD



Nigerian Police Force trains FBI and Scotland Yard Officers.



What would you do?

PHCN acquire MTN



Nigerian Railway Corporation also acquire Celtel



And NIPOST is buying out Glo!!



Lastma is planning to buy Virgin Atlantic



And Etteh is taking over from Dora!!



Wealth Solution (wonder bank) has just bought IBTC



ALAO AKALA is taking over from Soludo as CBN Gov



Nigeria Police Force has acquired Transcorp Hilton



And our own ENYIMBA Football Club has just bought 91% shares in Arsenal FC in preparation for a takeover



PETER ODILI will be taking over from Nuhu Ribadu (EFCC)



ADEDIBU HAS BEEN NAMED THE NEW SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE UNITED NATIONS, IN RECOGNITION OF HIS ROLES IN STABILIZING DEMOCRAZY IN NIGERIA



THE Under-17 GOLDEN EAGLETS TURNED THEMSELVES IN AND RETURNED THE WORLD CUP BACK TO FIFA, SAYING THE YOUNGEST AMONG THEM IS 46YEARS OLD



Nigerian Police Force trains FBI and Scotland Yard Officers.



What would you do?

One day in d front seat of a bus, a young boy said 2 himself -

If my Papa na King, my mama na Queen, I go be Prince;

If my Papa na Lion, my mama be Lioness, I go strong.

The bus driver asked him, if 4 say ur papa na Agbero and ur mama na Ashawo, wetin u 4 be?

The boy looked at him and said: I go be bus driver!

Two ladies were talking to each other:

Lady 1: How come your husband is coming home early now a days?

Lady 2: Because I have started a new rule.

Lady 1: What is it?

Lady 2: Sex will be started sharp at nine whether he is here or not.

lovemajek (f)

I have problem with your profile. Ur pic is that of a guy and you said you are

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Mouka,

Don't mind them. You are entitle to your own feelings. You are not a Lesbian like you think. I guess you have at least a boyfriend and so you are a bi-sexual.

Friends. Is it really a show of shame? Are they truly honourables? Are they actually representing us? Did we surely give them our mandate? The robbed our collective mandate and so will they continue to rob our collective treasury.

Friends, Is it really a show of shame? Are they really honourables? Are they trully representing us? Did we for sure gave them our madate? To me, our colective madate were robbed and so will they continue to rob our collective treasury.

Rubie,

Was it same with you?

It wasn't me. But if it was me, I would probably not accept the invitation.

O boy! u no serious, Me I have kissed  and beyond ya list even I dey even exceed kissing for those areas.

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't
know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"Ok, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put
the prisoner in the prison." And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey, the prisoner seems to have
escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles, "Then we will have to
re-imprison him. " After the second time they spent, the guy reaches
for his cigarettes. But the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new
experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile,
"Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The man rises to the occasion, but
with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back
on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again." Limply
turning his head, and he YELLS at her,

"HEY, it's not life imprisonment!"

This no go stop cheating. Ehhhhhhhhhh ummmmmmmm, wetin go stop am na 4 ladies to dey nice. Even when u see ya guy cheating - which one be cheating sef - on u, no pay back but leave am for God and d guy man go come to his senses

What a bad way to wish a friend Happy birthday. We all do make mistakes but surely, we should be nice when correcting people. That's when it is taken seriously. Baks, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!. Wishing you all the good things of life. Enjoy your day.

For me, I am of the opinion that it shouldn't be a gender war. It is true of most men and they - not trying to excuse myself - adduce it to the fact that it is an African stuff. It is really bad. Does this means that the girls are free? Obviously not but rather worse. I have to reconcile my guy with his babe last week. What happened? My guy introduced his babe to his boyfriend only to know later that his babe is not secretly dating his friend.

For me, I am of the opinion that it should be a gender war. It is true of most men and they - not trying to excuse myself - adduce it to the fact that it is an African stuff. it is really bad. Does this means that the girls are  free? obviously not but rather worse. I am have to settle my guy with his babe last week. What happened? My guy introduced his babe to his boyfriend only to know later that his babe is not secretly dating his friend.

Treatment

A housewife, realizing that the housemaid had started behaving funny, decided to engage her one morning.

Madam:
"Chinyere why you don begin dey behave anyhow these days? E be like Say u no wan know ya mate for this house again o! Face no dey fear face for ya village?"Abi you don carry craze for head?

Chinyere responded immediately:
"Look at you, you call yourself Madam, which kind wife wey u be? After all my food dey sweet pass urown, "

Madam:"Ehn!!!!! Who told you that you cook better than i do?"

Chinyere: "Na Oga now, "

Madam:
"Lord have mercy!!! Papa Nkechi, ??!!!!!!!!? you will come and meet me in this house today, Na war between me and am today. Ohoooo no wonder,  I don dey suspect this thing since, "

Chinyere: "No be all be that o, , I even better pass you for bed, "

Madam:"Yeepa, !!!!!!!!!,  I'm finished!!! So,  Papa Nkechi told u such thing too?"

Chinyere: "No, The driver said so."

Madam:
"Uhmm, Chi chi baby, Chinyerryerry Chinlosky come here ehn,  Good girl. Abeg no let Oga hear that one. OK, "

In this modern days and time? This had better be a real joke otherwise ,

A man checked into a hotel in Lagos. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile somewhere in Asokoro, Abuja, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I have reached
Date: 11 Sept 2007
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I have just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was
Hon

Kanmosyl,

My first worry about this is the fact that you claimed that they are your close friends and yet not even one out the two wants to talk to you about the issue.

The probable might just be that either of them caught the other cheating. This can be so disheartening considering the level of love and time they had spent together. They might just prefer to keep it out to save the situation but cannot consider coming back again. But why are they all upset and bitter? Also maybe, the accused had tried to explain and yet the other party is doubtful and not understanding. The accused will feel that there is no trust after several years of dating and so not worth it.

How can they reconcile? First try and get them to talk to you. You can also invite them for a dinner without letting them know that the dinner is for both of them.