₦airaland Forum

UjuJoan2:
That's how one hospital in Texas started rejecting Nigerian mothers coming for childbirth. 'Big women' talking to nurses rudely because they came to give birth on America. Nobody told them that American nurses are not hungry and unprofessional like Nigerian nurses. By the time they were all blacklisted their eyes opened.

Yeye people!

All these yeye character Nigerians exhibit sef

it's just too bad

AwkaetitiBabe:
The ones here should learn good behavior first

exactly

Rubicon67:
Thank you OP. You are unofficially, a self-appointed, world renowned tribalised behavioural expert in the Yoruba ways.

Your tribe has a reputation for being perfect and model citizens wherever they are from South Africa, Vietnam, Malaysia, India, USA, UK to Thailand...need i go on?

I rest my case.

You see your life?

olu77:
Charity begins at home I agree.

Nigerians have wrong role models at home. It's shameful, sad and unimaginable how loud, carefree, and aggressively we talk without consideration...despite all there are still a lot of civilised and considerate Nigerians though we bear the brunt.

exactly so

we need to have Frank discussions amongst ourselves
and tell ourselves the truth

Gerrard59:
Not just the aggressive culture but the quality of people who migrate to those countries. An instance is Malaysia, the kind of Nigerians who move to Malaysia is of very low quality compared to those who move to Singapore. This is because the former has a relaxed immigration process than the latter. Most of these people didn't finish secondary school or at best dropped out from the university. Similar behaviour displayed in Malaysia happens in Indonesia, Vietnam, Cambodia etc. To worsen issues, most Nigerians are loud mouthed and display criminal tendencies.

The poster above me said it all, when these set of persons behave stoopidly in Nigeria, how then do you expect them to behave rationally in foreign countries? And these are countries where the law works. It's why I don't feel for those who were affected by the xenophobia in South Africa (call me whatever you like) but until the vast majority of Nigerians start obeying the laws where they reside, they'd keep facing problems from the host. Furthermore, my mom who spent a greater number of years growing up in francophone countries across the continent explained that Nigerians especially Igbos tend to be loud mouthed, haughty, disobedient and dishonest to the host. Which is why according to her, most Nigerians were pursued while in Gabon when the Gabonese were fed up with their antics. There was a time she was in a restaurant in Togo when some ladies came to eat and during their ensuing discussion, they asked which country my mom and her colleagues come from. My mom responded Nigeria and these ladies left the restaurant! Thankfully, the set of Nigerians migrating to Canada are of a different mentality (similar to Singapore). However, the problem is that there's a tendency most will become "woke" and "liberal" and start demanding for rights they didn't ask while in Nigeria.

OP, my advise is that in a situation where the vast majority of Nigerians are brutish and rascally in behaviour, don't ever claim to be a Nigerian except to law authorities. Try as much as possible to disassociate yourself from them. Claim Ghanaian, Kenyan or Motswana (someone from Botswana)

P.S. So-called Nigerian intellectuals on social media will continue to blame foreigners for holding Nigerians accountable but there will come a time when the average Nigerian will be thoroughly despised and avoided. Also, stiffer immigration policies will make things harder to relocate because of brutish attitudes displayed by Nigerians. An instance was when Singapore cancelled the visa free status for Nigeria because most who utilised it were transporting drugs and Singapore has the death penalty. Today, it's extremely difficult to get a Singaporean visa from Nigeria even for those who got admitted to INSEAD Singapore campus. You must prove all provable to be granted visa. But hey, "foreigners are against us", "they're jealous of our hustling spirit". Nonsense and ingredients hustling!

You have said it all

nextstep:
So OP made several points about bad behavior of some Nigerians in foreign countries. Ironically, less than 6 posts later, representative Nigerians have started demonstrating those same traits... Unfortunately the message is being lost.

No mind them

I dey even feae to identify myself as Nigerian in some circles

it's that bad

MiztaYouneek:
Let me first of all say that I am not trying to be tribalistic here or referring to all Nigerians in diaspora as the same. I know there are many good and humble fellows out there who know why they left Nigeria and are making positive impacts.

I lived in a country years back which was dominated by the yorubas and if you see how some of them behave you will really ponder how they keep succeeding in living in that country. No respect for their host citizens, always feeling they own the country especially some that have made money. I was in a Nigerian restaurant one day and one man who was older than me came and started speaking Yoruba for me just like that. Out of respect I told him I don't understand the language and then he asked me if I wasn't a Nigerian. I told him I was a Nigerian but obviously Nigeria is not an all Yoruba country. The had the guts to open that stinking mouth of his that I know is already caused to tell me that I should question God to ask why I wasn't born a Yoruba. I know for sure they must have deported him by now or he might be in prison or something because I don't see such kind of a person making any positive impact in his life.

That aside I also had other terrible experiences with these yoruba people but I can't share all here. The main point is that not all of them had bad characters but the majority of them that did have bad characters sometimes affect all Nigerians in general even those with good characters.

Years later I have moved to a very different country which is more of a French speaking country and it is dominated more by the igbos. Over here is worse than the other country dominated by yorubas. Many of these igbo guys have no atom of respect at all for their host citizens. They feel they are making money and always trying to oppress their host citizens. Sometimes if you see how they talk and insult the citizens in English without any consideration that some of these citizens understand English a little. What surprises me most times is when some of these people will be insulting the host citizens saying things like if it was in Nigeria they can't do such and how Nigeria is better than the country, but they left the same Nigeria they say is better to another country not like if the host country invited them. It is really sad because I believe only some few people who have really travelled will understand the little points am trying to make.

Just last night, I was with an igbo guy who runs a legit business and we were on our way home because we stay in same neighborhood. On the way we noticed a lot of police presence but we just kept moving. Immediately we got close to a junction we saw two police officers who stopped us and they were speaking French so I didn't understand what they said. The guy I was walking with understands and speak french very well so he was communicating with them. The only thing I noticed was that they were pointing somewhere for us to sit down just like on the ground. I peacefully went to sit down and this other guy refused to sit and kept talking to one of the police. I didn't know what was going on as there were other people around as well but all speaking French so I signaled the other police that was close to me and told him I don't understand French but I needed to know what the problem is. Luckily for me he could understand English and he asked me for my identification. I reached out to my wallet and showed him then he asked if I was a Nigerian and I said yes. He then told me I can go because all they wanted to see was my identification so he called the other police and told him I don't understand French but I had shown him my identification and they both asked me to go. That was when I realized that all those plenty talk my friend was talking was unnecessary because they only needed to see our identification. I then called him aside and told him to calm down and speak with them gently but to my surprise he brought out his phone and said he wants to call some of his other police friends. I believe that angered one of the police and the next thing I saw was that they started pushing him to go and sit down where they initially asked us to sit. He kept on resisting while speaking French with them and the next thing I saw was two truck load policemen. Seems they were all together doing the patrol around the area and the whole story changed immediately. The environment became intense and that's how they pushed this guy into the truck with other people that they had arrested as well.

As for me, when I saw the way everything got intense I had no choice but to leave the place and started running home. Like that old saying "na who run from war dey live to tell the story". And that is what I am doing. Up till now he has not been released and no one knows yet where he is.

The bottom line of this all is that, though I know he will be released, it was just a very simple matter that would have been avoided by just being humble and able to show some respect that would have solved the problem and prevented any form of arrest in that forceful manner.

I don't see what it takes for us as Nigerians, no matter the money we are making, to always be humble to our host and respect them irrespective of age or anything. We have to learn to stop that attitude of I am better than my host and Nigerians have more sense than they do.

Whenever you travel out to wherever, please learn to show more respect and always be humble no matter how rich you think you have become.

this up here is the story of my life......

the matter don tire me.
the good thing tho is that we still have good number of upscale and sensible well educated Nigerians (especially in my area)
but the vast majority (especiAlly igbo and Yoruba ones, the uneducated and all) are just a big disgrace

Angelfrost:
Health of who??! Lol... Don't make me laugh.

Those niggas live in slums that smell far worse... That's why most of them don't bother with face masks. This is daily air and living for them!!!

But, Lagos is unusually filthy sha... I pray Sir. Igbokwe succeeds in restoring some semblance of sanitary in this over-hyped commercial capital.

Lagos
has poor waste management system

and also the problem of Lagos is a reflection of the problem of NiggerArea

Too many barbaric, lowlife iliterate citizens in one space

Highbrow areas or upscale areas that do not have low lives come in unfettered are not this filthy

Who are the people dumping waste upandan?

it's the migrant from Oshogbo, Uyo, or even Gombe that are doing so
why would normal humans choose to live like this?

GrabHisBalls:
Nigerian men with their double standard and hypocrisy. They tell you, "I won't like it if you cheat" only to realize they have a degree in sleeping around. I am not surprised most of those who have commented think op has a marriage to keep. It takes two to keep a marriage. Questions are; what if she wasn't pregnant and what if she had agreed to get it aborted, would your husband have stopped sleeping with her?

Instead of having this type as a husband, let me die single. Imagine the humiliation. Your wife's niece. He knows no boundaries and you're saying he's respected. Respected by people who have no idea of the kind of man he is.

well it's good you have standards

Keep them

There is a difference between a woman who have her standards and a bitter man hatee

don't be the latter

AntiBrutus:
No, men are the one with bias. You wouldn't have typed that crap if tables turn.

You no see as he no answer the question

fykes:
I have no respect for people who trivialize deep things like adultery with common arguments like gender biases.
y'all women are too often too personal in thinking about the hurts of a cheating partner whether male or female.
Forgetting that aside from the couple, this while thing affects and maybe even more so, the kids, the couples parents and siblings, and in this case extended in laws families.
So tell me of what good is ur supposed defence or excuse of d gender of the offender in any case?

You did not answer her question

EgunMogaji2:
So it’s for those pinched to port to another hellish life in another country?

of course not

it's for them to use their head.

and to make informed decisions

AntiBrutus:
Hey! Nigerian women sorry o

You see foolish comments everywhere

ThierryJay:
My comments refer to infidelity by both genders. The 70% estimate includes both genders.

For a cheating wife, the same extenuating circumstances I previously highlighted will determine the husband's next line of action. It all depends on whether the husband is willing to reconcile having considered all factors that matter to him in marriage. Personally I see no reason why a husband should not retain his wife who committed adultery due to unplanned circumstances and who shows genuine remorse or her actions. I have seen live cases where the wife cheated and both parties reconciled. Although the ego to let go is stronger in men especially in Nigeria, it does not necessarily indicate that divorce will always be the case.

I understand the recent wave of trying to look at things always from a balanced gender perspective to counter the supposed male patriarchy, but situating all marital issues within that construct without giving due consideration to natural human contexts may itself may lead to the same erroneous judgements that the patriarchal supremacists are frequently accused of. Just that this is on the opposite end of extreme.

this your last paragraph sha
e dey make me suspect you


But yes
I have seen some men forgive their cheating wives

I mean here in Ivory Coast
it's no big deal

Your wife fvcked someone else

so what?

your husband fvcked someone else

ehen?

But I was imagining in my head if it was the Nigeria I know that this happened

tho it happens in Nigeria

the ridicule that the man gets is not only hypocrites
its stupid

That is my point

braimeddy:
The matter will escalate and bring more shame to the woman's face. I will advice she don't do that

Let me get something straight

an irresponsible he goat fvcks and impregnated his wife niece
and this becoming public knowledge will shame the woman?

what kind of society do you guys run in nigger Nigeria

cococandy:
Absolutely insane.

First of all, a husband is not a necessity. Especially if it’s one that sleeps with other people and even worse your relations. A good husband is a great thing to have. Anything less than that is not beneficial to any woman.

I don’t know who’s filling y’alls heads with nonsense but a single woman is better than one with a bad husband.

Your post is actually very disgusting in case you don’t know. Marriage is definitely not a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. That’s why people who intend to keep their homes should not be sleeping with their spouses relatives.

You would not be very enthusiastic to advice your fellow man to keep his marriage if his wife gets impregnated by his family member.
You use people’s family issues that they bring on NL to further your evil agenda. Please stop.

man is a product of his environmental influences

so you should not be surprised when you see comments like these

You just feel sorry for him that's all

If men in Nigeria were are scared as women about "ruining their homes"
Family life would have been much better there

teefaht:
I was 16 in 2009 when my Aunt's husband almost try this shit with me. Had to lie to my sis and leave the place. That was the last time I stepped my foot in their house.

Women needs to be careful, infact don't allow your sister to live with you if you are married.

The temptation might come from the sister or your husband.

I was scared to stay in my aunt's house because I was scared that he might later rape me. My sis is a banker, she comes back late at night coupled with Lagos traffic. Anything could have happened within that time without her knowledge.

I think women should be careful be it sis or no sister.

You are right

fykes:
My dear u can't say that. We make mistakes and have crisis atimes. U have no idea if the wife has been a model wife herself, u don't know how long the man has held up his head and just one moment of indiscretion or bad decision can ruin it all. This may be just his one bad moment of weaknes

yea yea


make excuses for the man

sexiestharam:
Almost every advice I have seen on this thread makes me puke. She is 19 and was a virgin before coming to your house. Isn't it obvious your husband seduced or raped that girl? He was also the one that volunteered to take her to the hospital. Doesn't it mean he knew what he did? Op said her husband is a respectable man. I laugh. What's respectable about a man who sleeps or rapes his wife's niece? Your husband is a goat. Ewure. If you still want to stay with a goat, that's your business. To all those advising her to have the niece commit an abortion, what if that's not what the niece wants? It is her body, it is her child she would kill and her life is at stake here. What about the memories that would always be there. Aunty Op, do whatever you want. We all know in the end only you would advise yourself.

yea

deltateam:
To do DNA test, her husband has to agree because they will need to collect somethings from him.

You can use the dna of his son for cross reference

if there is some semblance

trust me
the man fvcked her

efeteb:
My candid advice to you is to consider this.
1. The worst thing that could happen from this is a broken home. My sister don't allow this issue to break your marriage. It is painful? Yes, but don't allow your children grow up in a broken home take it from those that have experience it.

2. Forgive your husband even before you confirm he did it. Don't allow this issue to break the relationship between you two. The mistake has been done. Allow him to let you know his plans for the child but try to make him take responsibility for the unborn child if he accept that he did it.

3. Raising dust and issues from this cannot undo what has been done. Your peace is what is important. Remember crying has never restored a spilled milk. Try to be brave that is where your peace can be found.

will you give this same advice to a cheating wife who got pregnant for another man?

don't you know that him divorcing his cheating PREGNANT wife will hurt his children?

tho I knoe some men who still stay out despite their wife getting PREGNANT for someone else

But then
They often get ridiculed by silly people once the lid is blown open


You see how subconsciously we groom a generation of irresponsible and foolish men in this nigger country

Vivos:
I understand how you feel but you should try to contain this matter within..... for your sake and bcoz of the children
Don't force the girl to get an abortion...I'm against abortion , she should have the baby if she wants to,

Don't divorce your husband bcoz it would hurt your children.... But you can separate with temporary to heal from this hurt

the marriage is done

ThierryJay:
Your opinion is extreme as you give no room for reconciliation. IYHO, almost all marriages would be void as most African marriages have recorded cases of infidelity. Going by your logic, more than 70% of marriages are currently miserable, and the African society should be predominantly be a divorce fest rather than have reconciled marriages. You are not proferring a workable solution but only touting a vindictive impractical approach that will be of little benefit to the social construct of this world.

If reconciliation will make things between a couple fine once more, why go the divorce route? Humans are not perfect. Even David (in the bible) and many contemporary world leaders had extramarital affairs ( Heck Nelson Mandela had affairs, Ryan Giggs had sex his in-law while married). While these examples do not make infidelity right, if the offending party is willing to make things right genuinely, I think it's worth a chance if the victim does not mind. Only in situations where one of the parties is unrepentant will I advocate complete separation as a first approach.

Oga, you need to recognize that life is a spectrum and things are not always just black or white.

what are your perspective on a cheating wife?

especially in Nigeria

does that 70% up there include the cheating wives?

Mogajunior:



The biggest mistake a woman will make is bringing a full grown lady to live with her. Most IRRESPONSIBLE HE GOAT men will bleep anything so long as they are not related. even house helps are not save.

#Fixed

coldFLARES1:
I don't exactly consider it 'righteous' to call an extended family meeting on the hubby on account of this. It would hurt him greatly to have people who ordinarily should defer to him query/probe him for something he would be too ashamed to admit if he is the culprit.

If he is wise and can consider the wider implications of birthing that baby he would confess before it is too late to terminate the pregnancy and at least seek the forgiveness of his wife.

I laugh at those seemingly pious fellows that sat said she should be allowed to give birth so madam could just take/adopt that child as her own. How pedestrian? I can assure such union would never recover from the dislocation the birth of that child would cause /bring.

My take is: the girl should be begged /encouraged to have an abortion to forestall the dangers ahead so everyone could have a closure and look to means to mend the cracks yet.

Is abortion bad? Not at all! Not when it saves you from making your life hell. When it wasn't convenient to have a family, i aborted with my side kick in 2011, but as fate would have it side kick turned wife in 2017 and we have a cute daughter together now.

Let's not make life complicated; it's a simple something!

no wonder

I thought as much

now I understand why you take the stand you do

kelvin21887:
Man utd have money, if Guardia becomes her head coach he's definitely going to lift the trophy (premiership) in his first two season.

not with this fool in the picture

Agugbadin:
Why do Nigerians like to disrespect one another, if it is true she should have told her since not now that they have quarrel in the public. Is this how black people are, is there anything wrong been black. These questions need answer.

I don't understand

orunmila144:
khafi is an asset to the mets police. she speaks italian, spanish, portuguese, russian, sign language, french, yoruba and arabic language. they can NEVER get rid of her.

wow

orunmila144:
are you kidding me ? let me give you a trick of survival in this world, acquire skills that make you indispensable to your employers

wait o

did you say this Kafayat can speak 9 languages

wow!

like wow

I am.wowed

this young man made the right choice
it's better to come back than becoming a nuisance

EgunMogaji2:
I know that it’s hard to believe for some but Nigeria is actually not the worst place to be.

it's not the worst

but it's amongst the worst 25

for those of us who are well off
or stay abroad

we may not agree

but for most Nigerians living hellish lives
They know where it pinches

MARKone:
I know, it must be an igbo man.

look at this one