Some days ago a lady posted about being torn between her ex and her new boyfriend. Here's the link
https://www.nairaland.com/7021168/im-torn-ex-new-boyfriend#110871298
I happen to be the new guy in question, I even recommended posting the issue on Nairaland so neutrals could advice her since she won't let me rest because of the issue. She couldn't read past page two of the thread cos nairalanders were giving it to her hot hot.

My own issue is I can no longer cope with her confusion, she clearly doesn't want to let the other guy go. She's been sending me recordings of her calls with the guy where the guy has being begging her like his life depends on it. I sincerely wish I can contact the guy so we can be running her together on a low but it's obvious he will snitch on me cos he's obviously obsessed with the girl.

Most of the calls has been about the guy talking about his accomplishments and how he will get her heaven and earth even though the girl admitted to having sex with another guy. He's been peppering her with credit alerts all these while and even promised to get her a bigger phone while the one she's using now which he actually bought is just few months old. For me I see those money talks as a challenge to make my own money.

I have more serious things to do with my life than compete for a lady that doesn't know what she wants. She wants to keep the guy for the financial benefits and also wants to keep me for the romantic benefits or whatever.

I have been trying to ghost her but I've come to realize that I actually like her a lot so its not easy. How can I do this effectively?? For some days now we not really been on the best of terms, she blanks me at any slightest provocation and if I don't call she will just lockup.

How do I swing the balance and dump her in a way that will hurt her?? She always brags that she's never met a guy that will make her beg cos she always has plenty options and can easily replace anyone that misbehaves.

l0uie:


Omo, you funny no cap. You no send the mama but you created a post on this cyberspace because of the same mama wey you talk say you no send? Really, na which kind weirdo you be?

Okay, I like her. Cool now??

okoroemeka:
women minds work in mysterious ways,dont you know that she may like you better than the guy that bought the expensive phone,for her to trust you and come to your house ,tell you the truth about the phone and is obviously hurt that you didn't care about her birthday shows she likes you at least 50%,it is left for you to give her the time,caring and attention she craves,also telling her to leave your apartment for training is also a big turn off,you could have used style tell her that you will forfeit that day training to be with her,she will be glad and happy to see that you can sacrifice your time for her,these little things matter, moreover what type of training is better than having a sweet chick in your apartment.

You're right though, but I don't just like anything that will stress me. I prefer the kinda relationship that I just vibe with the other party rather effortlessly.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Then what's the post and complaint about tho?
What kinds weirdo are you?
You asked her out now you talking nonsense..
You sef ain't ready for a relationship are you?

I just want to yarn

FERNANDEZISBACK:
She needs your care..win her heart and be a man..
Not all this I call you don't call you call I call..it's childish..
Prove to her that you are unique and different..

I'm not the only guy asking her out, one of them even bought her an expensive phone worth almost 100k as a birthday gift. I have better things to do with my time instead of competing to win a ladies heart reason why I just withdrew.

I meet this beautiful babe late last year and asked her out, she initially turned it down citing a recent heart break as the reason. However she would always visit my house each time I invite though I never made any advances towards her.

She later accepted my relationship offer but I felt she was somehow in the relationship with her hands gripping the hand brake. She wasn't totally free with me and I did like 70% of the calling though she would always get worried if I don't call.

I wasn't feeling the relationship so I had to talk to her, she opened up that she's still recovering from the last heart break and is still scared to venture into a new relationship for now. I responded with an okay and a striking silence that lasted for over 45 minutes ensued.

I had to ask her to leave because I wanted to go for training and she got upset. She called when she got home to register her displeasure about how I asked her to leave my apartment. I didn't call her after that day neither did she. Yesterday was her birthday and I just commented and liked her pix on Facebook, she called today and was lamenting about how I couldn't give her a call or text on her birthday. She sounded very hurt over the phone.

What exactly does she want, I made it clear to her that I don't keep female friends, its either we are dating or not. But she still complain of the distance I'm giving her.

Update: So I called her so we could talk things over and set the record straight. I apologized for the rude manner that I sent her out of my house and for blanking her which she accepted. I still asked her of her stand in the relationship and she insisted she doesn't wanna date but would like to be friends. I've never been in a friend zone and I'm not ready to start now, I'm deleting her contacts already. At least fernandezisback will cut me some slack now.

jclassiq:
Irrationality at best.

Did she know you kicked the plate by mistake?

As it stands now, you need to think things thru. Looking at this girl, does she seem like someone you can be in a relationship with? Remember she already told you how indecisive and weak-willed she is by leading another man on while she is in your house having sex with you; actions speak louder than words.

Again, you are not ready for the financial duties that come with Nigerian type of relationships, yet you are acting possessive so quickly? Wrong.

My advice, if you still want to fvck her tonight, then you have to swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness, but make sure you take your time to pleasure her very well; everybody wins.

When she lives, i hope you gain some clarity about what you actually want with this woman that came your way.

Baba you wise, your post has answered my questions. She stated her willingness to leave the other guy if I'm gonna take her serious, but somehow I don't want to get committed now though I'm developing feelings which is fuelled by her actions towards me so far. But I guess I should just kill those feelings and remain FWBs

A305:
Dude,


You went wrong by showing your emotions and letting it overwhelm you to the process of self destruct. As it stands, she considers what you two have as Friends With Benefits. You shouldn't have thrown tantrum.

You only catching feelings for her because of what she can do in bed, how she is being 'sort after' by other men as well as the scarcity mindset you have towards getting another woman.

My guy,

Let her go. This lust/love is situational and not a true reflection of real love. You just love the idea of her and wanting to own what other men are chasing. You can't see it now but after the sex has died down a little and her true character begins to show, you would come to that realization.

Again, let her go, but if she willingly comes back to profess love, then the ball will be in your court to exert authority over her and the number one rule will be: cut other men off.

But then again, since you not ready to shoulder her responsibilities then leave her be; and stay being friends with benefits only. Let her monkey branch to survive while you get the p*ssy to unwind.

Learn to comparmentalize otherwise, you will keep bursting some simp moves.

Respect boss, I don't normally attach feelings to my dealings with babes, but then there was just something about this one that got me hooked. All the same I've settled with her and we are cool now. it's just FWB hence fort

Una just dey put am for my body woto woto, I was expecting it shaa. Even some people that have done worst are now forming boss on top my head. I know I bleeped up, the intention wasn't to catch feelings, it just happened because babe is cool. Some said I'm insecure because I feel I might lose the babe lol, since when did getting a girl become rocket science. I even have a main babe amongst other fwbs, no be achievement so no need to loud am.

I apologised for my outburst this morning and she did too and promised not to make calls in my place next time. So we are good
I appreciate the real niggas that made reasonable comments without insults, no one knows it all, I treat ladies with an iron fist cause they always take advantage of cool persons.

For those that said I'm a simp, na una sabi. I am more of a sigma male. Una Good day.

I met this girl few weeks ago online and we kinda vibed instantly, a couple of weeks later she came over to my house for weekend and we had sex the first night. I asked her about her relationship status later and she said she was in a relationship, though she doesn't love the guy.

She showed me proof of countless times she's told the guy the truth but he would always persuade her to stay with him with hope that she would warm up to him. So she stayed since he was paying the bills.

I can't tell her to leave the guy because I am not ready to pay any bills for anybody now. Just like most Nigerian girls she gets lots of calls, but one made me upset this night.

She was on call with a guy for almost an hour, from the tone of the conversation the guy might just be a friend, because the gist was centered around school and other random stuff. I felt she disrespected me by staying so long on a call and I made my feelings known when she was done. She got moody and stopped talking to me afterwards.

She finished cooking and dished mine in a separate plate even though we have been eating together since she came. She placed the food on the bed without notifying me and went on to eat hers alone. I tried to adjust and kicked the plate away breaking it in the process.

I packed the food and threw it into the trash can, she immediately went to the kitchen and dropped hers too. Took her bath and went to bed, though I know she's not sleeping.

She's supposed to go tomorrow morning and I intend deleting her contact after she leaves, however I really like her. I've not met someone I liked in a while. I don't wanna beg her since I didn't do anything wrong. Or was my reaction to the call extreme??

Should just free her or attempt talking to her?
How do I approach it without coming off as weak?

Toyade888:


Done. Merry Xmas

Bro I'm still here

0808 5292188airtel network

FanOfMyself:
to do you have an mtn sim? I can share 500mb to you

Thanks boss seen.

FanOfMyself:
to do you have an mtn sim? I can share 500mb to you

Thanks boss

.

Good morning all, please someone should help me with data, I've a virtual interview in a few hours time and I don't have a dime on me to subscribe. Pls don't let this opportunity pass me by.
My number is08085292188 airtel
Thanks

MMotimo:


I mentioned you on a dead thread re surname.

Please sir help me with data, I've a virtual interview in some hours time and I don't have a dime on me to subscribe. Please help me out
My number is08085292188 airtel

shomutuski:


So what nigga! even if she's dull, so what? you said it that she ticks all the boxes, A man literally benefits nothing from a woman success if I'm to be honest with you, this would go over most guys head so i'll say it again even if she is smartest bvtch in the entire galaxy, it does nothing for you bros.

keep that broad as long as she is on your program, she is feminine enough. let her handle her strengths and you cover her weakness. its not like it's her CGPA you gon use to feed yourself or some shvt like that.

She might be a wonderful home keeper and a good business woman, no be everyone they get affinity for academics, besides success comes in different variety. you can't tag her unsuccessful cus she cant get a job, do you fucking know how Nigeria is hard?? even you with all your CGPA still they learn extra skills. Don't get ahead of yourself and lose a dime.

I'll take a feminine, submissive, all on my program lady than a paper chasing, no good for nothing, equality BS lady. A man would always be egoistic, controlling, masculine and a provider always, we can only suppress our nature not kill it.

Ask yourself what does dangote need an overly smart wife for? he actually needs a woman who will play her role simples.

50/50 doesn't work for me, I mean if i have woman who is feminine, calm, not out there like ladies of today. I'll kill to provide for her.

when you start earning money well, you will understand, staying in Europe has taught me this.

Look at emoney, obicubana, akin alabi, Kcee, etc you can say the same thing for their wives. they are drama free, not attention seeking, always nurturing their kids and supporting their husbands.

when you start making money, all this cgpa, smart and blah blah metrics won't bother you. You'll need a woman you can trust, someone you can take your armour off for, she'll attend to your battle scars and help you go back to war while looking out for your seeds.

This is the basic role of a woman, it's civilization that spoilt everything. well this is a story for another day.

be on the lookout for ladies, that will try to play this role to win your heart and change later. The fake ones

Thanks so much sir, your words have lifted a big burden off my chest. Your post is filled with wisdom and experience.

Kastonkastroll:
Not everyone is book-smart. Some people are exceptionally good outside the normal read & write routine. Just observe that your girl and you will see something she's very good at. Omo if the girl is not an olosho, hold her very well

Lol she's far from an olosho.....

Anyahuruagu:
Nwanne the sad truth is that you cannot have it all in one package.

If she's teachable my guy, manage her situation, teach her and correct her in love.
It's now we know if you also love her

I have come to understand that it must not all be there.. Come on I can make good dishes, if my partner cannot do better in kitchen that means i must complement for our companionship and also growth.

That's why we both need each other.
No man is an island and no man on the other hand has it all.

Thanks bro, asides this academic issue she's got other qualities that I desire. I will carve out time to help her more

Good morning FAM, I've been dating my girlfriend for four years now since our 100 level in the university. She has been the perfect partner for me and a really strong backbone that has kept me going in tough times, I've lost count of ladies I've dated but this Lady has got me hooked full time hence the seemingly long duration of our relationship, because before now none of my relationships had exceeded 6 months. I think it's important to note that I'm her first date/relationship too.

Sometimes I feel lucky to have her, she loves and cares for me to bits and I do the same too though it's apparent she loves me more. I've good intentions towards her and sees her as part of my future, I will gladly marry her once I'm lsettled and ready for that but I've one nagging issue with her.

Academically I see myself as an average student on a CGPA of 3.47 according to my 300 level results since I'm yet to see my final year result ( fresh graduate ) though I channelled over 80% of my efforts and time in school to hustling.

My girlfriend on the other hand is on a CGPA of 2.76 which I still consider a reasonable result considering the school we graduated from. She's been hunting for a teaching job since she graduated with little success and frustration is gradually setting in.

She visited me recently and while in my place she got a call from a friend to bring an application letter to a school she's been eyeing for a while now. She drafted a letter and gave me to peruse through it. Going through the letter seriously broke my heart, obviously the reason she hasn't been getting interview invites wasn't far fetched. It was riddled with grammatical errors and blunders, she could hardly string correct sentences together and punctuation was totally MIA talk more of paragraphs. It was a total disaster.

There was no way she was going to get a job with that kind of letter unless maybe through man know man. I took time to teach her on how to write a letter and to be honest it was just like teaching a basic two child how to write a simple formal letter. She couldn't even get simple spellings right, I'm not a genius neither do I see myself as an exceptional student but I really expected more from a graduate. I tried so much to mask my frustration and disappointment so she won't feel bad.

I don't want to judge her but that her performance really left much to be desired and left me upset that I'm beginning to consider my future with her.

I don't know if there's anything I can do to help her because I'm currently learning block chain development and UI/UX designing so I barely have time to spare now.

Please I need your advice on how to handle this situation.

IyaTola:
Would you like to learn ?

I would love to learn too sir

IyaTola:
Good morning!

Easter is a time to reflect and celebrate, but unfortunately many are not celebrating because of the situation of things.

I want to help atleast 10 people who have genuine reasons to be assisted.

You must provide evidence

Happy easter

Please sir I'm a final student I've been running around for school fees and project money....please consider me

I don't know if the developer of the site charged 50k, the site is so annoying. Each step takes over a day to complete, I don't know if this is a deliberate attempt to make people quit but I think its working.

I have been stuck at updating records for over four days now, I've used chrome,opera mini, fire force yet no way.....the way things are are now I fit leave this n-power for una, I don tire

ediko5:
Keep the fire burning.
In like your zeal.

Thanks bro

alade26632:

Nice
keep going⚫

Thanks man

tensazangetsu20:


Improve on it, make the add to cart work. Use firebase to make receiving orders possible, Add payments. Those are the things that differentiate you. The people you are competing with are sending tictactoe games and todolists to job applications. Go into React and do the same but not e commerce, a blog maybe or soemthing else. With those you can start applying to frontend developer jobs while learning that platform of your choice.

Thanks man, really appreciate, when I start getting paid I will buy you ps5....lol

Karleb:
There's a lot to adjust, make better and all.

But this is a good step in the right direction.


Don't quit!

Reality hit when I discovered that my near perfect design on a console works differently when live, I will work on my UI designs though. Thanks for your input bro

tensazangetsu20:

He's doing very well. This is the same route I took last year. From February to August I was coding 7 to 8 hours everyday.

You're one of those that inspired me to go into programming with your in dept analysis of almost every problem that newbies face through daily here......I'm still trying to make it 10hours a day, for now its "code or you perish.

tensazangetsu20:
This is great. But I wont recommend you have this on your portfolio. You know HTML, CSS, JavaScript. I recommend that you build a huge website before you go into react. Watch your designs please. Instead of coding from the head, go on dribbble or check out clean websites and try to remake them. That's the standard now. People are wowed by looks before even functionality.

You know this three. Take a huge website now and make then go on to learn React. Once done with React, do the same but with React. A different thing. For a big project, I recommend an E commerce project. You can use firebase to receive orders and then use paystack inline Js for payments.

Thanks bro, I've just been looking for these sort of ideas. I developed the e-commerce store on my own,should I improve on it or try out a totally new project maybe remake a popular e-commerce store?

Valkan:

 Nice 
 keep going⚫

Thanks man

Good morning all, so I started learning web development in January, so far I've done HTML, CSS, JavaScript, bootstrap and a little jquery.

It has been a bumper to bumper journey hence my ability to cover them in a short while, I've also had school exams to contend with within this period.

I don't sleep all night and I code for at least 7hours a day all things being eqaul like light and data, there have been some challenges like data, phone(I don't have a good phone) and the rest of them.

I believe so much in practice so every week I try to build something new and different, so last night I was able to host my projects on github. I realized that a project might look perfect on the console but different when its live, I noticed some errors which I'm trying to correct though github navigation can be tricky for a newbie.

https://simeonoge.github.io/myportfolio/
https://simeonoge.github.io/classicshop/
https://simeonoge.github.io/gracieresturant/
https://simeonoge.github.io/vegan/

The last link was my first project and the mobile version showed me hell because of the tables and was what drove me to bootstrap. The projects are just basics and I hope to improve on them with time.
Please do check it out and give me corrections.

I'm trying to add more JavaScript to my codes but that language is a beast and I might spend forever trying to grab all so I'm going easy with it, I'm about to move to react then php,mysql then WordPress or shopify.

My target is to pay my semester school fees from programming, so my moto now is "code or you perish" because I don't know where to earn money from apart from coding.

Pls your advice and criticism all welcome