FERNANDEZISBACK:
She needs your care..win her heart and be a man..
Not all this I call you don't call you call I call..it's childish..
Prove to her that you are unique and different..

Unclesmart12:

I'm not the only guy asking her out, one of them even bought her an expensive phone worth almost 100k as a birthday gift. I have better things to do with my time instead of competing to win a ladies heart reason why I just withdrew.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Then what's the post and complaint about tho?
What kinds weirdo are you?
You asked her out now you talking nonsense..
You sef ain't ready for a relationship are you?

Unclesmart12:

I just want to yarn

Unclesmart12:

I just want to yarn

FERNANDEZISBACK:
She needs your care..win her heart and be a man..
Not all this I call you don't call you call I call..it's childish..
Prove to her that you are unique and different..

sorority11:


He has nothing to prove here.

It is the lady that have something to prove.

He was the one doing most of the work in the relationship, that proves everything.

The said lady, is showing cold feet and still hasn't recovered from a break up or still hasn't gotten over her ex and she refused showing commitment to the new relationship.

She is the one that have something to prove to the man that she cares for him.

It is the one who is slacking that have something to proof.

This relationship thing is easy, if you are not blinded by gender.

Unclesmart12:
I meet this beautiful babe late last year and asked her out, she initially turned it down citing a recent heart break as the reason. However she would always visit my house each time I invite though I never made any advances towards her.

She later accepted my relationship offer but I felt she was somehow in the relationship with her hands gripping the hand brake. She wasn't totally free with me and I did like 70% of the calling though she would always get worried if I don't call.

I wasn't feeling the relationship so I had to talk to her, she opened up that she's still recovering from the last heart break and is still scared to venture into a new relationship for now. I responded with an okay and a striking silence that lasted for over 45 minutes ensued.

I had to ask her to leave because I wanted to go for training and she got upset. She called when she got home to register her displeasure about how I asked her to leave my apartment. I didn't call her after that day neither did she. Yesterday was her birthday and I just commented and liked her pix on Facebook, she called today and was lamenting about how I couldn't give her a call or text on her birthday. She sounded very hurt over the phone.

What exactly does she want, I made it clear to her that I don't keep female friends, its either we are dating or not. But she still complain of the distance I'm giving her.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Not until he decided to stop calling and asked her to leave the house..
You asked her out why not try to help her through her mental breakdown..you think relationship is all about i do most of the work and other petty things?

sorority11:


Help her out?

Is he a trained therapist? You overestimate the power of men.

He stopped calling because he felt she is not ready and was moving on, only for her to be angry and stuff he isn't caring.

He doesn't want her back, he is only curious about her endgame. It's a simple thing, are you in or out.

Oh and yes relationship is about both partners doing the work.
If it is left to only one person that is no longer a relationship.

One can't be doing everything building and the other one folds their hands, if it is so then what they are building is castle in the air.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Look at what you wrote in the bolded..
He stopped calling cos he felt..that was my point exactly and that was where he made a mistake..

In order for a relationship to work you gotta be understanding and patient except you don't love your partner...
Misunderstandings occur many times because of different situations and perspectives you gotta realize that..

There is what we call proper communication and understanding when it comes to a relationship..They are very important because without them you cannot truely know your partner...If you do not share their thoughts.. feelings..desires.. anger..
sadness.. fears and joy then your partner will never know you...And acceptance...Both people must be open but not judged..

sorority11:


He didn't make a mistake.

To continue or not to continue is the man's choice. Though he chose the safer option



Sometimes to let go is the best option.

He did exactly what you adviced dear

He talked about it, and they both communicated and he understood her and he chose to withdraw. And for him to put on 70% of the effort for long he is a patient person.

He doesn't want to force himself on her. Damn I no like guys wey dey force themselves on people. He wants her to heal and gave her time.

He is a reasonable person. He knows what he wants.

I don't think you would love to date someone who is still fixated on his last break up. No one wants that.

Guys are wise now. No one wants to be held down and kept in a bench. If you as a lady, you are not ready for a relationship, leave the guy and let him go.

No need fighting for a relationship that will give you headache.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

You made a very great point..but don't you think he should have understood her and not mis interpret her when she said
"She's still recovering from the last breakup"

It's just like a doctor refusing to inject their patient cos of patient's fear...you have to take it slow on them.. emotional trauma is not something one easily get over....that's just the point I was trying to make..

sorority11:


Nice.
The doctor analogy though.

A relationship will not heal her emotional trauma. The only thing that can heal her is time and getting over the past and looking forward.

Though the guy just cut communication completely that's the strange part, I wouldn't do that. If at all I want to do that, I will withdraw little by little.

He is suppose to be checking up on her, but she isn't entitled to that.

Again, the man don't want to be cages and benched by a lady.

If you are a guy, you will understand this. It is only fear that is doing the guy. The fear that if he is there and she fully recover, will she choose him? Well after investing his time and attention. Mostly guys can relate to this.

This will only stirr up another emotional trauma but this time for the guy.

Unclesmart12:

I'm not the only guy asking her out, one of them even bought her an expensive phone worth almost 100k as a birthday gift. I have better things to do with my time instead of competing to win a ladies heart reason why I just withdrew.

Unclesmart12:

I just want to yarn

okoroemeka:
women minds work in mysterious ways,dont you know that she may like you better than the guy that bought the expensive phone,for her to trust you and come to your house ,tell you the truth about the phone and is obviously hurt that you didn't care about her birthday shows she likes you at least 50%,it is left for you to give her the time,caring and attention she craves,also telling her to leave your apartment for training is also a big turn off,you could have used style tell her that you will forfeit that day training to be with her,she will be glad and happy to see that you can sacrifice your time for her,these little things matter, moreover what type of training is better than having a sweet chick in your apartment.

l0uie:


Omo, you funny no cap. You no send the mama but you created a post on this cyberspace because of the same mama wey you talk say you no send? Really, na which kind weirdo you be?

Unclesmart12:

Okay, I like her. Cool now??

FERNANDEZISBACK:
She needs your care..win her heart and be a man..
Not all this I call you don't call you call I call..it's childish..
Prove to her that you are unique and different..

Qatar2022:

He doesn't have anything to prove to her, is either she agree on his proposal or she disagree it's simple

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Can you people see what I've been saying?
So you just created this post to soothe your weird attitude..pls stop disturbing people with stories and problems that you already have the solution..

Qatar2022:

You're not saying anything jobless slowpoke

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Tell that to your p..
Baby boy..

Qatar2022:

Jobless man , you do not have parents, you're born throw away

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Look at what you wrote in the bolded..
He stopped calling cos he felt..that was my point exactly and that was where he made a mistake..

In order for a relationship to work you gotta be understanding and patient except you don't love your partner...
Misunderstandings occur many times because of different situations and perspectives you gotta realize that..

There is what we call proper communication and understanding when it comes to a relationship..They are very important because without them you cannot truely know your partner...If you do not share their thoughts.. feelings..desires.. anger..
sadness.. fears and joy then your partner will never know you...And acceptance...Both people must be open but not judged..