₦airaland Forum

Lol...what of the notorious...''I want put only the cap''....


With these my 10 tips below, you don't need to lie, she will bring her jerry can for you to burst free of charge..

https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

valmunich:
Damn! I love this!

Thanks Bro...21 Gun salute

profinaya:
Op, u talk about the MASTER. did u graduate from chemical engineering?

Dice (Computer Engineering) -2003 and
Petroleum..2008

ChiSun27:
OP....u jst decribred my character or beta put....my personality.

I doff my hat Bro..

Kk4:
op clearly stated that he is married and you still want his contacts.. Nne calm down

Lol...Nwanne, that's ladies for you...they want what they can't have and prefer the unavailable..and of course friendzone the available....

kibo:
This is dope stuff from the OP !!

Your writeup is clear and easy to articulate !!!



So drowning men in their own tears gives you a sense of achievement and purpose ??

Clearly a case of misplaced priorities to me !!

Lalasticlala..Abeg nack this guy 5 Orijin.

And move this to the front page to help guys get back on track

peeparty:
I can't even say hello to twice to a lady in a roll.

some of dem even when the are online d will still be forming busy.

Correct Bro... Never chat twice until you get a reply...See Tip 5 on my post for more information.

https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

reverendfather:
Very true.... Just imagine


Guy: hello!

Girl: hi

Guy: how was your day?

Girl: k

Guy: have you eaten?

Girl: k

Guy: nice dress BTW, just checked your dp

Girl: k

Guy: tell me about yourself

Girl: kk

Guy: are you sleeping already?

Girl: na

Guy: then why do you keep replying with kkk

Girl: ?

Guy: are you taunting me?

Girl: k




Girls!!!!!!

Lol....Read tip Number 3 on my article and see how best to handle the 'K' response


https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

agarawu23:
I just hate it when a Lady ignore my chat, I have no choice than to avoid her

Correct!..better still Ignore not even avoid.... See more chat tips on my post, Numbers 3, 4 and 5..

https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

Sorry bro, Nice guys finish last..

This tips might help you get a better girl.


https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

Rilwayne001:
Hope you grab those OT (orientation) outlined in the OP?

5 Orijin for this guy!

Captainswag225:
hahahaha are u sure there is hope for them?

Lol

Captainswag225:
o.p, once u are friendzoned, there's no turning back.

Lol bro, at least this would help them avoid it next time..

A moment of silence for our friend zoned brothers

ellapius:
u do dat with me and u ll drown in ur own tears .tell the op if he is such a pro he should mail me his number. ellapius24@ gmail.com he ll come back changing his write up.mind u I graduated from uniben so I no all ya engine boys una no reach.

Lol

Enockia:
nice post makes sense and the last tip works all the time tried it and succeed 10 out of 10

Yes Boss...10 is tested and trusted..Had to save the best for last.

Lalasticlala...Please move this to Front page and help the ministry of the over populated Friendzone And Solo Association of Nigeria (FASAN)

MrsPhyno:
This ish only works when charming guys do it. Majority of males are too awkward for this and will just make a mess of the situation

Those ones should stick to groveling

LoL...No be lie...Charm/Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder

Lol..Thanks bro

KashyBaby:
i swear i read it, buh in some point i disagree…OP, r u the author of this?

Yes, I am the author..with some tips gotten from the master himself who I referred to in this post and who taught me everything I know as far back as 2005 in my university days.

Xiadnat:
All these game playing sef.......I hate am.

I don't think these as outlined above make a guy "un-nice". I think it's just dating smart and protecting your heart.

I don't know why dating and courtship should be like calculus and astrophysics and shii.....

I like you, you like me. Let's just get together and see what happens. No games, no strings.....damn.

Yes Boss! But that's not usually the case or reality. Reality, especially in Nigerian universities is you like me, i like you, I spoon feed u, do assignments for you, write exams for you, write you poems, call you everyday, you see me like a brother, a nice guy, den u go behind and start to oil Peter, wey no dey call you, wey nor send u, wey dey put jeans for yansh (sagging lol), yet crying everyday on my shoulder that he's a bad boy (lol)..You would be amazed the kind of stories my much younger university cousins gist me about love in school...

As the girls don turn dating to mathematics, sharp guys should enrol for further maths..

If you don't enjoy reading, kindly go to the next post. This post is for the nice guys. Who seem to do everything right, yet get friend-zoned. 

I usually hear 'Good things come to those that wait". Not this time bro, Good things come to those that act. 

The following are tips garnered over university, nysc days and post graduation career life experiences. All tested and trusted.

However, If you have a contrary opinion, feel free to air, but note that your chances of changing my opinions are non-existent as all these tips have been endorsed by David De-Angelo, the Master Don Juan himself. 

If for any reason they don't work on the girl of your dreams, and she still friendzones or ignores you, dude, cut your losses, and move on...Haven't you heard of ''there are plenty fishes in the ocean''? ‎

‎

1. Keep the phone calls short.

When you first start dating a girl or getting to know her, don't hang on the phone talking with her for hours at a time, discussing weather, NEPA, or her favourite size of indomie (small, medium or hungryman) . If you do, you'll be indirectly communicating to her that you have nothing else better to do. That you're boring, sedentary, and don't have much of a life.

Yes, you may enjoy the conversations with her and getting to know her better. And she may seem to enjoy them as well. But you'll be doing much more damage to your budding relationship than good. Subconsciously, she'll be classifying you as a NO-LIFER.

Remember, this girl is looking for someone who will make her life more interesting. It's better to be perceived as someone who is busy, who does things, who has an interesting and exciting life. Three to Five minutes on the phone may be okay. (One to Two for students..LOL!) Ten minutes is really pushing it Bro.‎

Remember: peak her curiosity about you, make the call short, make a date to see her, then hang up the phone and discuss everything you want during the physical date even if it's How Messi is 100 times better than Ronaldo (Fact!) ‎

‎‎ Keep it short,sweet and simple.

‎

2. Never say nothing.

Whenever a girls calls and asks you what you're doing... never say "nothing".

Always be doing something interesting, or just getting back from doing something interesting, or getting ready to go do something interesting "in a few minutes". 

Even If it means you saying you are reading an article online or an e-book on your phone when we both know you are lying down on your bed, scratching your hairy balls and chatting with her alone (Pls never use your Smart phone for only chatting, alongside you can actually read e books, nairaland career tips, news, job applications, etc on your phone while chatting). 

Never say nothing! If you are a working class guy, all the better, this tip is generally for the students (because they constitute a larger percentage of those in the notorious friendzone)



3. The 'K' factor.

It is usually expected that when chatting with a girl you just met and intend to score, she replies some of your messages with K. Personally, once you reply me with K, the chat ends. I will never initiate conversation again until you do. 

However, if I am in a good mood ( which happens rarely) I reply you with J. If you are stupid enough to ask what that means, I simply tell you that I thought we were reciting the alphabets. This usually sparks either of two reactions. She gets angry and ignores you, or she laughs. 

If she laughs, better for you. Humor covers a multitude of sins. Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny, in a not too (seeking for attention kind of way) if she gets angry and ignores you, move on bro, or do you really want to date Hitler's daughter?



4. Abbreviations and short messages.

Girls have been known to initiate conversations with unnecessary abbreviations and typing short messages like Gd am, Sup, mornin, aii, etc. The rule that works for me is, go a bit less.

Some people might not see this as bad, but trust me, this same girl has a guy on her list who she sends a thousand words to at once, and the guy replies with Ok. 

Please, Be that Guy!

Example.

If she types mornin, I reply with morn.

Gd am, I reply with am.

If she types a sentence with 5 words, reply with 4, If she types 3 words, reply with two.

Point is, whatever abbreviation or short sentences a girl gives, your answer should be shorter. If I am in a good mood, which I don't need to remind you happens rarely, I add a bit of humor to it. If she types Sup?

I reply with either egusi, banga or ogbono. Usually they ask what's that, and I reply, I thought you meant soup, so I was telling you the soup I just ate. 

NB# Never reply twice, until you get a reply to your last message. It's chatting (i.e between two people) Not you defending your project! 

Some guys type 5 sentences when she's not even replied the first and yet wonder why the only time they've seen the girls undies is when they visited her and used her rest room where she hangs them (for students). 

Friendzone na bast**d.



5. Delayed Replies.

Nice guys, when you are chatting with a girl you just met, and she seems to be too busy to reply your messages when we both know she's giving you the new guy 'I am busy treat'. Just relax and study the chat. Check the reply frequency. Some girls wait as much a 30 minutes and some even a whole day before replying you. 

Meanwhile, when you met them in the bus, class (for students), office or even church, they couldn't keep thier hands off thier fone! 

Solo, abeg when she delays, look at the time difference, she used in replying you, multiply it by two, chat with other friends, then reply her when you are sure you have exceeded her delay by a hundred percent. I.e (x2) of the time it took her to reply you. Nuff said!

‎

6. Never Apologize.

Don't get me wrong, humility is a great asset, and every man should know when he wrongs a friend, colleague, family member etc, He should apologize. However we are not discussing family or career here. We are discussing women. People who generally do not know what they want. People who end up dating the guy they once referred to as a jerk.

‎In general, it is bad form to always apologize in the early stage when you are asking her out. Many guys are guilty of this. For anything,  You can admit you were wrong, you can offer to make things right, but don't apologize. 

Back then in school my favorite line used to be, I'll make it up to you. Saying sorry sounds negative and boring. If you continue saying sorry, she would discuss you with her friends, saying you are always messing up. Try something more positive like I owe you one, I'll make it up to you etc. This for one keeps her wondering how you would make it up. You and I know that you saying you would make it up is bull crap...Unless you actually want to. Kudos, but nor finish you salary or pocket money for the students in the house. ‎



7. Don't take permission.

There is no such thing as overconfidence. There is such a thing as taking yourself too seriously. Do not ask permission to do or say anything. Never ask a woman if you can get her number, kiss her, hug her, hold her, etc. 

Be like Nike bro, Just do it!‎

Agreeable is boring. Infact when you meet her for the first time, as soon a she gets comfortable with the discussion, hand her your phone, don't ask for her number, just hand her the phone. If she's intelligent enough as I hope she would be (If not, why are you wasting both our time) she would know you need her number and give it to you. If she declines, move on bro, or do you really want to be with someone who doesn't find you interesting enough to want to talk to you again?

‎

8. Read, Read and Read!

Reading gives you a place to go to when you have none. Reading broadens your knowledge and gives you a bit of a perspective in every discussion. Need I remind you that ladies love smart guys? Have an opinion, give a suggestion, have a clue about what she's saying. Know everything about your career or course (for students) or business (for business men) and a little, even if it's veneer knowledge of a whole lot of other things. 



9. Use Google

You would be surprised how people under utilize google. Add google to your bookmarks. As soon as that pretty girl you are hoping to score starts warming up to you, she starts to ask you some questions. 

Google helps you answer some, google helps you not to ask her stupid questions. I once asked a smallie who was still in school, the course she had in class that day, and she mentioned the course (not the course code), a 300 level english language course. I never heard of it, but quickly googled it, and wikipedia gave me answers, I just summarized the surface of the course for her, and she typed hmmm....guess what that meant? How come he knows when he studied Engineering (My Uniben Engine Men in the house I hail una) All other guys on my contact don't have a clue what this course is about. 

When she later asked me, I shoved it aside and told her, one of my " FEMALE'' neighbour's back then in school must have mentioned the course in one of our discussions. If it means lying, LIE! But be brief...notice that I mentioned female and typed it in capital letters. You would be surprised how easily girls get Jealous even with a story about another girl from years ago. This brings me to my final tip. 

‎

10. Jealousy

This is actually an old technique, but it seems many men do not understand it properly. However it works like magic.

If you are with group of ladies, do not always give the same girl the attention. You have to work on one of the traits found in almost every woman - jealousy!

If you like a certain girl in a group give her other friends attention too. You can give your crush attention also, but give her friends equal attention.‎ This will cause the girls to become extremely jealous of each other and you can take your pick!

For students, if you are attracted to a girl in your school, faculty, department, or even if you are working and get attracted to a girl In your organization and she doesn't seem to notice you exist. 

Use jealousy to get her attention.

You can do this in a subtle way, point is, make her see you having fun with another girl. If she ever asks you who the person is to you, grin sheepishly and say, she's just a friend. 

Jealousy works better when you use her disadvantages against her. Trust me, no girl is a perfect 10. (except of course my beautiful wife!). Your dream girl could be busty, hipfull, assmatic, tall, light, dark, short, etc. 

Whatever she is, try your possible best to make sure your friend to be used to make her jealous has something she doesn't. If she's tall, light, and busty, with tiny hips (lol) make sure the girl she sees you with, even if short, black and ugly, has WIDE hips. You would be shocked how an unexpected complex sets in. 

If you are ever forced to introduce both of them to each other, smile (Always smile, mischievously if possible, except when you are owing me money, then don't! )  and say meet my friend, no shaking of hands with your crush or hugs, instead give her some light KINO (my favourite, but topic for another day) and walk away with your hipfull friend. I assure you, your crush would never forget those hips, she would go home and stare at herself on the mirror, and would eagerly seek an opportunity to talk to you again so as to know if you are hitting those hips or not. ‎

It doesn't have to be hips. Just find one character or trait your crush doesn't have but the other girl has. It could even be a sense of humour.



Final tip. Don't allow her know these tips, and If by chance your crush is on Nairaland and she sees this, be prepared, the movie Two can play the game might help you...because clearly I cant.

These tips are not intended to promote being a player. I for one is married and faithful to a very beautiful woman who I probably would have had friendzone me if I didn't know all these. However I assure you, better to a player than to be a solo!..But if you choose the player option, remember your lean salary (workers) and your GPA(students)

It would be selfish not sharing these tips to younger guys, wouldn't it? Else they end up like the dudes in the picture below.‎

I hail una my people..

Cc: Lalasticlala

I posted this article on looking at the positive side after the Bristow Crash. Bristow has released more information on the crash and confirmed 6 casualties as against 4 reported on my article yesterday.


https://www.nairaland.com/2521800/bristow-helicopter-crash-lagos-staying


Two of the casualties are members of Bristow flight crew. One is a Nigerian, 26 year old Peter Bello. Asides being a helicopter pilot his friends say he is also an avid photographer, who was helping plan his sister’s wedding. The other pilo is US Citizen Captain Joseph Wyatt. His sister Samantha Wyatt took to Twitter last night to plead for any information on her missing brother.

Bristow Update.


Bristow Helicopters (Nigeria) Limited has confirmed that the aircraft that was involved in an accident in Lagos, Nigeria, on August 12, 2015, carried 10 passengers and a crew of two.

The company has confirmed six survivors and six fatalities.

The Bristow flight crew was among the fatalities, comprised of Captain Joseph “Jay” Wyatt of Oklahoma, U.S., and First Officer Peter Bello, of Nigeria.

Captain Wyatt started his aviation career in 2005 and has been flying in Nigeria since 2009. First Officer Peter Bello joined Bristow in 2014 after graduating from Bristow Academy’s helicopter flight school. Both were experienced and qualified.

“We are shaken and deeply saddened by this tragic accident,” said Bristow’s Regional Director Africa, Duncan Moore. “Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families, friends and loved ones of all those on board.”

Bristow has mobilized the full resources of its response team and is working closely with authorities on the investigation, including at the accident site to recover the aircraft. Medical treatment is being provided to those who are injured and trained coordinators have been assigned to the families of the crew members and passengers to support them with their every need and ensure that they receive the most current information and assistance.

Bristow has established a dedicated hotline for family members of those on board the flight. Relatives may telephone +1 (855) 979-7533 or +1 (567) 302-7004 for information, care and assistance.

Bristow Nigeria would like to express its appreciation for the help and support it has received from the NCAA, the NAIB, NEMA and other industry stakeholders. The company would also like to thank the Lagos State Government and the traditional ruler and people of the community where the accident took place.

A core value for Bristow is safety, and we are committed to safety in every aspect of our business. Bristow continues to collect pertinent information and will release more details at bristowgroup.com as soon as it is available.

About Bristow Helicopters (Nigeria) Limited
Bristow Helicopters (Nigeria) Limited provides aviation services to the offshore energy industry, serving major integrated offshore energy companies in Africa’s oil and gas industry. With headquarters located in Lagos, Nigeria, Bristow Group’s Africa region comprises operations in Nigeria and Ghana.

Media inquiries contact:
Tunji Olugbodi
Verdant Zeal
Phone: 234-802-290-6999
E-mail: tunjiolugbodi@gmail.com

Julie King
External Communications
Bristow Group
Phone: 832-551-9814
E-mail: julie.king@bristowgroup.com


http://bristowgroup.com/bristow-news/latest-news/2015/update-bristow-helicopter-accident-lagos/

MarvellousGod:
Alright, let me believe you didn't edit it.
There's a difference between when a hurting person shares his/her experience and when some other person uses it to motivate others. . The guy that shared the thread did that because he has gotten over it. It wouldn't be the same if a friend of his happily opens a thread saying his friend just lost his mum and thanks God for his own mum, bla bla, bla...

Do you think relatives or friends of those affected by the ugly incidences you mentioned above will be delighted reading your article?
Just saying. . Have a good day

If only you know what motivated this article. All the same, thanks for your input.

MarvellousGod:
I read the article and that's my opinion.

Those who had/have misfortunes also need some kind of motivation, why using them to motivate others?

Or maybe I'm getting you wrong shaa...


Also I think you edited your writeup now(be sincere please) cos I'm not sure I read this part before;
"Everyday you lament to God on why you lost your job, how it should have been the other person, how life has been difficult and how you have numerous years of experience yet have not been able to secure another oil job. We do all this and forget to thank God for life, forgetting to count our numerous other blessings.‎

I say to you, look on the bright side, stay positive, start a business, run some professional courses, diversify your talents to fit into other industries, keep on applying, reading, networking and of course Praying. Bottom line is, do something to be able to account for this period.‎"

However, as I said before you're passing a good message but I think the method being used is wrong. No offence. ..

#LOL# edited ke? I did not edit anything. I posted everything in this article by 10.30pm yesterday night..those that commented can attest to this. You see why I feel, you did not read and understand this fully? A nairalander recently shared lessons he learnt after his Mother's death and adviced others to follow suit. Would you term that as using his misfortune or his mothers demise to motivate others? Haba na

MarvellousGod:
You're passing a good message but you shouldn't use people's misfortunes to make yourself feel alright.. To me, it makes no sense. ..

Your friend loses a job or dies in a job field and you're happy you don't have a job cos it may have been you? or same happens to you and people are happy? (Won't happen to anyone, just an example)...

If you keep counting others misfortunes, you won't prosper. Imagine someone reading this and thanking God he/she is jobless? Really? ? Oya remain jobless for life na

You can stay positive, pray to God et al without taking advantage of others misfortunes. It's painful...

There are several other ways to preach motivation, you can use a testimony of someone who persevered and finally conquered etc... Use positivity to preach positive.

The highlighted kept me wondering if you actually read and understood this article..

It is no longer news that one of Bristow's Helicopters 5N-BGD (5-November - Bravo- Golf- Delta) crashed into the lagoon near the Oworonshoki end of the Third Mainland Bridge in Lagos.‎

The National Emergency Management Agency and the Nigerian Police carried out rescue operations and it was learnt that 4 out of the 12 people onboard died in the crash, 6 persons were rescued and 2 persons critically wounded and have been taken to the nearby Gbagada General Hospital.
‎
http://www.punchng.com/news/ncaa-confirms-bristow-helicopter-crash-in-lagos/

I have actually been on numerous Bristow Helicopter flights and witnessed one that developed electrical faults mid-air. On getting to NAF Base Port Harcourt , the captain landed and delayed us by going around the landing area for about 10 to 15 minutes. We later discovered he was carrying out electrical tests, instead of stopping the chopper so we could alight. Of course we were all impatient as most of us already had plans in PH and as far as we were concerned, Bristow, after endangering our lives mid-way, now wants to thwart our plans of enjoying the same life.

A colleague of mine reported the mid-flight issues to our over-all boss but he waved it aside, saying that Bristow airlines had a clean track record. 

May the souls departed, Rest in perfect peace.
‎
I am sure some of the survivors would attribute their survival to the BOSIET (Basic Offshore Safety Induction and Emergency Training) especially the HUET and SAS (Helicopter Underwater Escape Training and Survival At Sea) trainings plus of course, the numerous helicopter briefings which we all know half of us usually watch/listen to with divided attention. Truth is, God kept them alive for a reason. A second chance. 
‎
The fallen oil price from 115 dollars per barrel to as low as 47 dollars per barrel in february led to so many job cuts in the oil industry worldwide. I might be right to insinuate that many people on this forum lost their jobs. The losses cut across Oil Exploration companies like Shell, Chevron, Addax, Mobil, Total etc and also the Oil Servicing companies like Schlumberger, Baker Hughes, Halliburton etc and numerous indigenous companies. 

To all those who lost their jobs, do you realise that you probably would have been on this chopper coming home from your 14x14, 28x28, 35x 35 or even impromptu and undefined job rotations? 

Everyday you lament to God on why you lost your job, how it should have been the other person, how life has been difficult and how you have numerous years of experience yet have not been able to secure another oil job. We do all this and forget to thank God for life, forgetting to count our numerous other blessings.‎

I say to you, look on the bright side, stay positive, start a business, run some professional courses, diversify your talents to fit into other industries, keep on applying, reading, networking and of course Praying. Bottom line is, do something to be able to account for this period.‎

Everything happens for a reason, look on the bright side, If you had not lost that job, you probably would have been on this chopper and we all know that the job would be of no use to you dead. You might have also been amongst the 12 people that died while carrying out maintenance on an oil pipeline in Bayelsa recently.
‎
http://saharareporters.com/2015/07/10/pipeline-explosion-bayelsa-oil-field-12-dead

Be grateful to God no matter the situation. Whatever you are going through, someone somewhere is passing through worse situations. Someone else is on his or her sick bed right now praying to survive and live even if it means facing hardship but staying alive.‎

Stay positive and alive my people..‎
‎
Rest in peace Captain Joseph “Jay” Wyatt (U.S) and First Officer Peter Bello (Nigeria)



‎