₦airaland Forum

Xavfra:
....

Nice one.....

It's worth it

How about forex bro?

End time happening.... Nothing wey microphone to go see for Church

blueAgent:
True.

Education can not solve the problem of the blackman, even in western nations with high level of Education and leadership blacks always finds a way to be at the bottom of the society

Maybe the blacks don't want to get educated. It's a pity.

blueAgent:
Yes, but the sad truth is that Africans no matter how educated they are still cannot function like civilized people.

Most Africans are not educated irrespective of the level of our acquired education.

This is because of our love for material things. We are greedy.

einsteine:
More war in Congo. That country has diamonds (highest in the world), crude oil, gold, Copper, Bauxite, Germanium, Palladium, Platinum, Uranium, Limestone (highest in Africa), Cobalt, Silver, Timber (2nd highest in the world), Hydroelectricity potential (River Congo can provide enough electricity to power the entire Africa), etc and yet it will forever be poor.

They are not educated, bro.

The problem with Africa is that Africans are not educated. Civilization is a function of education.

....

Okay Class! where were were? dis one na una new English teacher!!!!


So in mind, I was praying and saying "that this boy should not change am for me oooo". You need to see how Emeka was huger than me. I kept on talking. " Emeka see eh, the day wey dis your love go put you for trouble, me I no dey oooo". "My blother no worry, nothing go happen to me" Emeka remarked. Immediately, as a natural international bad boy, that I am, I was able to diagnose his igbotic accent.

And that was a little about that day at school. Many can happen in a particular day as long as you are detailed.

Many people look, but not many people sees






School had close for the day, and I went to where I normally hustle. As you can see, I am not your regular student. I've seen things but things can't see me unless I give it permission.

I'm a hustler at Ikokwu spare motor parts here in dreby, Asampele. I go around the market searching for scraps that the owner does not need anymore. Then, I try to sell them and then go home for the day, that was what my family have been surviving on

I feel like crying. I will continue later.

dannyrhymes600:
calm down bruv , someone that knows the song will complete it

Okay na. let's go

dannyrhymes600:
(in olamide badoo's voice) now she's saying morogo oti kan mi lapa oh, oti kan mi leyin oh ........... make somebody finish the song
( south south region )
drops mic

Ablo, me don't understand what you said ooo. prease make it plain

Emeka knew that he has to be fast if he wants to still be a good student of this school as that was what many people thought about him. He was actually a good guy. He has never a thing like this. After observing that Mr Belleti has gone, they decided to jump back into the school. And one by one, they ran to their classrooms. Meanwhile, a lesson was ongoing when Emeka walked to the classroom. He sneaked into the class but the eagle eye of Miss Kate can never be for granted. Miss Kate was a huge lady that looks like she used three days to eat all the food in Port Harcourt. But, I learnt to find out that she rarely eats self because the other day, she told to come and finish the food she was eating. I don't know why she likes me self.

"hey you, small boy, do you think that this is your father's house where you can be sneaking like the house rat that wants to steal from the pot"? She asked him.

"No ma, I'm sorry I was on my way coming to the classroom when the break was going to an end when I saw the sun stand still, everywhere was very bright and for the five minutes or so, I was transfixed. It was now, I am getting to come out of the trance"

"will you shut up, this boy, I never knew you can lie like this, do you think I am your mate that you can be playing around with?"

"Ma, I'm not lying oooo. if I want to lie, I will be sitting down. I don't lie when I'm standing. You can ask Usoroh, if I'm saying the truth or not"

Immediately, I heard my name, I started feeling like my village people have decided to finally pay me a visit by using this Emeka of a boy. What kind of thing is this? I looked at Emeka and backed to miss Kate to see if any of them resembles my village people. But their was no resemblance.

"Usoroh, is it true that Emeka has become a native doctor?"

I was dumpfounded when I tried to answer the question. I stood up with so much pretence in my eyes like I wanted to cry while looking at Emeka with a kind of face that has seen a ghost.

" Ma, yeah, sometimes, he behaves as if he wants to enter the spirit world like avatar. I noticed it the first time, I saw him, but I decided to minding my business. Maybe he is an upcoming native doctor for yahoo boys, I don't know oooo. So, Emeka which one are you?"

I tried behaving like I don't know what was happening to my guy. How would he be in his senses when love has taken over the senses. Emeka has lost his senses because of love.

Anyways, that was how miss Kate gave me and Emeka an assignment. She said, we should come up with ten reasons why the sun will be at a standstill? I was shocked. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Emeka regaining his senses.

When miss Kate had left the class, I could not withhold my tears anymore and I started crying to God to please help me to do this assignment. This assignment needed inspiration. While I was crying uncontrollably, you know people will always want to control your tears, many of my classmates were laughing at me and some where sympathising with me, I heard Emeka's voice when he said, "
my guy, na that small assignment you dey cry for? I think say you and miss Kate na paddy."

"My guy, if no be for one thing, I for don slap you to reset your brain. Because, you have fallen in love, you think say na everybody dey reason like you

ozome, thanks for the encouragement.

So that was it. Mr Michael was a teacher that does not like trouble. He was always too very careful with how he reacts to issues. Also, who doesn't know that in this school, if every radio in the world stops talking, Kunle will never stop. And you have to be wise when dealing with him, else you will end up becoming a public disgrace. The boy can exaggerate things. "Kunle, you know that your mouth is the one controlling you and please I'm trying to avoid your trouble. You can report the matter to another teacher because as you can see, I was heading somewhere" Mr. Michael said.

Kunle felt a little bit of hurt inside of his body because he knew that when it comes to flogging, in this school, Mr. Michael was the best. Just two weeks ago, he flogged a boy, the boy urinated on himself and the next day, he flogged the parents of the boy too. They came to school to intimidate him, but he was ready for them. So since then, he has been queried by the school management, to not ever flog anybody in this school. And so, that has made him cool. But it was just temporarily. I think Kunle knew it.

With that anger in him, he dashed again to the staffroom looking for Mr. Belleti. Mr. Belleti never listens to caution. He was always fighting with a student or a teacher. The school management has given up on him. It looks as if he employed the owner of the school because I wander what a teacher that is as Savage as an agbero would be doing at St. Peter's. Truely, you don't have to judge a book by it's cover. Seeing is deception.

When he saw Mr. Belleti, he knew that those two love birds were going to pay for what they did not do. Mr. Belleti with his pot belle on hearing that some persons were at the backyard, left the food he was eating. He stood up with a smile on his face that look like he just finished eating a frog. And with an accent that was as thick as that of a typical yoruba said" are you sure they will still be there?" "I am more than sure Sir, the early will go, the quicker will we stop this heaven from falling" Kunle quipped.


And with that, they walked briskly to the site where love was manufactured. Emeka was not too stupid to not be observing. Infact he was the one that told Favour that they should continue enjoying themselves. So, from afar, he saw Mr. Belleti coming, running towards them as if he was in a competition with other athletes. When Emeka saw him, he quickly thought of what to do.

"Favour, Favour, we are in trouble if only we panic". he told her.

"Emeka my love, when I'm with you, I don't feel no trouble. And so there is no room for panicking. Even if the principal comes here, I will tell him that I have been hypnotized by love" Favour replied

"No, favour, we are in big trouble because I think I can hear my heart pounding. Mr. Belleti is coming here"

" Jesus, Mr Belleti here? "(she said scarily. All the veins on her face were showing and they had turned green) That was when She started knowing that love is more a long thing.

"Okay, I told you don't panic, he said holding her hands. I have a plan already. We will have to scale the fence. If we are caught here together by this man. Then, I will definitely say goodbye to my education. That man has been looking for ways to spoil my name. "Emeka said.

Emeka and Favour ran to the fence of the school that has seen so many years and they jumped over it to the other side of the road. When Mr. Belleti arrived at the spot where they were, they had already gone. He was furious and decided to transfer the anger on Kunle.

Bro move on already please. it has been written to happened and so it happened because you did not pay attention to details.

More snakes to your elbow, Sir.

It wasn't long before break was over..but Emeka and Favour have been carried away by the wind of love and they have totally become so encased in their lovey-dovey play.

As at when all this scenes were playing, there stood a lanky guy that was standing and watching all that was happening. He was the school gossip..The principal has even decided to employ him as a gossip because it was if there was no need for CCTV since this natural one is around. His name was Kunle. Kunle's biggest problem was his mouth. It was the biggest thing on his face as it was never close. Always vomiting venoms. A close mouth is a close destiny- that sentence can never make meaning to kunle because when can you see his mouth close?

Kunle had been asking fortune out to be his girlfriend and she had blatantly told that "see I could be your girlfriend, if only you can vomit money from your mouth". So, Kunle had decided that he would teach her a lesson. And this was an opportunity.

He saw when Emeka and Favour went to the backyard and he knew that even if they were not doing anything too wrong, they were not supposed to be there at the time, they were there. They were suppose to be going to their class. This made Kunle to become very happy and he was practically screaming in joy as he was jumping to the staffroom to report that some persons were at the backyard alone doing something wierld and there were a boy and a girl.

Kunle saw Mr. Michael and said, "excuse me, Sir. I want to report a matter to you that will put all of us into trouble if we don't act fast"
And with that,

Hey, before I continue, I hope you can keep a secret.

So, that was how Emeka met this girl when he was in SSS1 at St. Peter's Secondary School. Her name was Favour. They met when they were at the playground trying to cut the flowers around the field.

I was just sitting on my own oooo on the fence when I saw Emeka running and shouting "angel, angel, �." That was when I knew that this guy's psychology is superb. I said to myself that this guy must be my guy.

I jumped down the fence, ran to him and said with a harsh face
"guy, you be bad boy oooo. Why you want play that girl like that"?

" ohh, you see wetin I do? Emeka retorted.

"Yes na, I saw it, you were too smart. That girl's mind has been blown away. Don't worry, you no need toast am again. She don already be your bread" I said jokingly.

"My guy, see ehh, I am falling in love with that girl. People have been falling in love but me, I amfalling in love" he said with a smooth face that looks like a god. This was the first time I am noticing him closely since I joined this school.

He had missed one of his tooth and the diastema in his mouth was very wide and he kept trying to laugh while using his hands to close his mouth. Maybe he was ashamed but I would not know. He also got a tiny scar on his face that I will come to explain to you later, how he got it

We kept on taking about so many things on why we were in school. He said, "guy, do you know that education is not a scam? "Of course, I know" I said. As we were discussing, I got to realize that this guy was actually a cool guy that is hiding behind the ambience of been close to women because of inferiority complex or maybe he wants to stay alone but people won't let him be.

"Emeka, Emeka" favour called interrupting our deep conversation that was about to yield something tangible. Well, love is strong. " Guy we go see later na". "Okay bro". We said our goodbyes and I went into the class as it was almost time to break over.

Meanwhile, the spark of love has started sparkling around the eyes of this two love birds that didn't know that love is sacrifice. However, life is a teacher, so we must learn everything before leaving whether intentionally or unintentionally. So, they will learn the sacrifice for love.

Emeka and Favour ran to the backyard in the school to profess their love to each other. " I will be your love even when the sun will no longer exists, I will fly with you to the heavens, from there, I will show you to the world" Emeka told his lost but found rib. " wow, that means I am the luckiest girl in the world for someone like you to love me. You are my prince, my world and my guarding angel. Thank you for loving me. I love you too" They kept on going and going with this pleasants words as it was making the butterflies in their stomach tingle and they were happy.

Oh
Love, how magical you are.
Nobody can control your magic.
You come to those that are willing,
To them that finds you,
you let them find you.
And you give them peace.
Love weldone oooo

Emeka became a poet from that moment.



To be continued

And that was how Mr. Emeka left his family and children to die like chickens because he was too nice.

As I make my way up to the junction where I can get a cab to where I was going, I noticed the face of the people on the road that were passing me without saying a hi, then I knew that we were not one. So I decided to start writing this story addressing it to Mr. Emeka.


Emekus as he was fondly called in his neighborhood was everyone's favourite. When I mean everyone, you should know what I mean. He was a lady's man. Right from when he had been young, he is always seen around girls. He was never around the guys. Mhen, we thought he was gay. so, we let him to his fate. But Emeka was way smarter than us because he thought he saw wiseness in girls and he decided to learn from them. He was not gay...




to be continued

So actually, the usher has been very kind to me today because he gave me a better seat to sit. And that was the seat close to a socket. I sat down comfortably in my apparel that looks like I might be the next president of America, that is if I'm not. I was putting on a cloth that has seen hell on a earth. Anyways, that's by the way.

The choir were about mounting the podium when I sat down, so by now I was in heaven receiving heavenly breeze. For the past 30 minutes that me and you are together here, I have been crying. Why? I was in the spirit.


hmmmm mmmaaa meeee fffah. I was humming along side with the choir and so I went on till I started singing^^^^^^Jesus must be honoured, honoured, honoured(2x)*** everyday in my life...I continued singing till I was touched by an usher. I turned to look at him and he said that the pastor was angry. The pastor now said all of you in this church that knows that they will not be dropping their juju in their houses before coming here, will die by fire. Immediately, nobody told me that I no try. I told myself.


Let me tell you a little about the choir. They are anything more than extraordinary. The church got it's name from the choir. The name of the choir was Praise my Soul Choir. So the Church I was going to was Praise the Lord Church of God.

I wanted to cry oooo but I told myself that sometimes that pastor used to behave like somebody that smokes something. So, I told God to forgive me and him in my mind.

Have I told you?, I love God so much that I can kill myself for him that is if he tells me himself to do that. But that's a story for another day.

or maybe she was actually very serious with her morning workout and did not do that on purpose. Well, thanks to my neighbor's knock for giving me that inspiration.

"Oboy you no go, go church?" my neighbor Emeka asked me.

"Bro, the thing wey I dey think about pass this church you dey talk about. See life no easy, but no be when person don see who to marry or who dey blow him mind." I retorted.

"Usoroh my guy, why you dey talk like that? wetin happen? See my guy, no be this church time you go dey talk about life. This last time, I see life, he say, he don tire self. No worry, when I come back, we go talk better"

"okay bro, but I dey your back like this, nothing can stop me from praising God today not even a she".

And with that in mind, I went to church hoping that my prayers would be answered as I praise God. you know, God needs praises. I stood up from the bed I was slumbering upon and went to take my bath. Carefully, taking care of my soft skin as it is my pride. While in the bathroom, my phone rang. I disliked the idea of taking my phone to the bathroom because it is not ethical. So, I was silently praying for who it was to not call again and maybe call later. However, the call persisted. Well, I had to rush over to pick the call because I was expecting something from my bank. You know na.

Only for me to go and see a strange number calling me. I thought to myself maybe it was one of these Airtel numbers that likes to call me to remind me about recharging my line. Anyways, as I was swearing in my mind, I decided to pick the call. My conversation with the caller went like this.

Caller: Hello dear

Me: how far na

Caller: you don forget me oh. Usoroh.

Me: What do you mean by that? And please, who am I unto?

Caller: Ohhh, na me be that girl wey you preach to, the other day, say make I give my life to Christ and now, I don decide say I go give am.

Me: Oh that's good oooo. But you go need to go any Bible believing church around you, talk to the pastor there, he will direct you on what to do.

Caller: Anyways, my name is Cynthia. I hope you remember me now. Ever since you talked to us about giving our life to Christ, I have been thinking about it and how to go about it. So, I decided to ask you. Remember you gave us your number. You told us that if we give our lives to Christ, that you will be our friends.

Me: Please, I'm sorry. I don't have time for friends now. Give your life to Christ not because you want me to be your friend rather it should be because you want to lead a different life that the society sees as meaningful. Maybe, we will talk later, for now, I am getting ready to church. Okay take care (and I dropped the call, thinking, I did not talk to her well). I returned back to the bathroom, let me remind you, I live in a one bedroom flat apartment.


I took my bath quickly, toweled my body and dressed smartly. I got ready to go to church. I had not stepped out of the house for more than twenty seconds when I noticed that my landlord's daughter coming in front of me. "You are looking sweet as usual, Usoroh. I was about coming over to call you" She told me.
"Really, thanks for the mention. I'm delighted. I am good to go and I can see that you are already ready, tochi." I smiled sheepishly. We walked slowly to the church. She carried her big Bible like a Samsung iPad and I carried mine like a flat screen TV. In our hearts, I think we both know what we wanted from each other.

Now, this Tochi is sweet and elegant. She has nose like an Indian woman that has seen a groom that she wants to get married to. Her smiles are warming and filled with a mixture of sorrows and joy. Her backside can make the world stand at a standstill like an erection. I don't know if she is aware but she has breasts that could make a man to always to wish to remain her baby. That is the few things I could say about her.

When we got to the church, I left her to go and look for my salvation because the Bible said that we should seek out our own salvation individually. As I was leaving her to go and sit at a chair that looks as if it has percieved so many farts from people and has decided to make itself useless so that nobody can sit comfortably on it again, I noticed her dad looking at me like he drank locozade. I did not pay attention to it because he was my landlord and I have been owning for two months now. So, maybe he thinks, he owes me..... To be continued

"Before we will start this journey, you must promise me that you will be with me to the end" That was what I, usoroh, told her was my condition. She, a her, a sweet and a lovely but a curvy lady that will soon become a woman. She was the woman that brought out the best in me and as well as the angel in me. Her name was my trigger. She is called Jessica.

It was on a warm, cool Sunday. I was trying to get back from my early morning exercise when I saw how hardworking she was. She was into the morning walk like her life depended on it with breasts dangling from one side to another and front and back. (Oh, what a nostalgic feeling I just had trying to remember that scene). Due to how serious she was, she didn't notice me ogling at her boldly like she was that day's bread. I was practically salivating like a dog.

Let me tell you people that will read this about me. I'm cool, I like to mind my business. Infact, I would consider myself a virgin because I have never fancied a girl for a very long time now. I don't want trouble, so I'm always on my own. Now, back to the story, that day, I totally lost it. I felt bad because she did not respond to my greetings and I knew she was one of those girls that will not waste a minute to return a hi to a fresh guy.

When I got to the house, I started thinking, that "why would such a damsel like her be so busy to ignore the greetings of a cool guy like me? I kept on pondering about it until my neighbor knocked on my door, that was when I realized that maybe I have hypnotized and mersmerised by her manipulation. Her manipulation was in the snub.....To be continued.

Boxer007:
Ok
Number 1 rule:
yor cv must not be more than 2 pages.

Number 2 rule:
Use Google cv examples to re write yor cv. For example, if u are interested in working as an accountant (new job) instead of school teacher, copy [sample of accounting cv in Google* .
U will see lots of better examples then u choose one to tailor yor cv. Always remember that yor when u submit your cv,the employer will first judge u by the way yor cv is presented..before they invite u in. If u haven't been called, it means there is something wrong on your cv that u have not spotted.. maybe your grammar is poor or u did not use spell check.

Rule number 3:
If u ever get called for an interview , long sleeve white shirt with a tie is always the key. It makes u look the part. ...and make sure u not sweating oooo.

This was how I advised one babe called Nmezor & she got the job


The answer is there on google. Use it. PREACH

Thanks man. You are good.

Boxer007:


Ok bro check this out. 2 things u need to learn:

Get a course on I.T skill
2. Train yor sef on Microsoft Word & Microsoft Exel. You easily learn these 2 from YouTube (free)

I will do just that.

blackpanthar:
Is comedy skit an ICT course?
Is farming an ICT course?
Is sewing of mask, making sanitizer an ICT skill? Yet many are making millions from it.

Ask yourself a brutal but honest question... Is it a good JOB you want, orrrrrr you just want to make serious MONEY?

Bro... The world is different now means Covid has changed the way business is being done. You need to upgrade. Many of the things you expected to work in 2018 will not work in 2021.... Life has MOVED, so you should also move... Stop seeking old ways in a new world.


We are in a new world order now.

Okay,. I understand you. So that means from what you are saying, there is no need to apply for jobs if one does not have a skill.

Boxer007:
Bro, yor question is not clear? Are you simply ask for job interview tips ( what kinda questions to prepare for?). If yes, then I tell u wot to do. PREACH

Not interview tips oooo. Rather I somehow feel like maybe something is wrong with my CV or maybe I am not doing the right thing when I'm applying. I don't really know what is wrong.

I am not getting interview invites from the organizations I have applied to.

blackpanthar:
That's the wrongest question sir... I do not know you personally so I can not choose for you.


Sadly, You should have been reoriented about the real world before leaving school, you would have discovered some secrets...

That Naija does not favor certificate but sabificate. You need a lucrative skill in a field that suits you. People pay for skill and not for paper certificates. Having connect is no longer the key, you need a skill that brings out the genius in you...

Its shocking tha with all the skill programs that have been advertised here on nairaland even for FREE.... You are here still looking for a job? Since 2018?

Bro, there are many skills available but only you can choose the one that resonates with you, how you will know it is that your personality traits agree with it. Just like kids who are talkative will be excellent lawyers or marketers or media hosts....


So google skills and research on each of them to see which one really resonates with your personality and you can then find how to learn it on YouTube or here on nairaland for FREE

Thanks but from the way, you are sounding, I think you are referring to ICT skills. Also, is that what you mean by the world is different now?

blackpanthar:
You're doing okay.
Take time to learn a new skill. The world is different now.

What kind of skill do you think I should learn?

Good evening everyone. Please, I need the help of this my second family I have in real life.

I rounded up my service since 2018 and to be candid with you guys, I have never been invited to a job interview. However, I am a teacher in a private secondary school. What am I not doing rightly??

I'm 26 by the way.

Wow, this is awesome. There is a big difference between been broke and been poor. Been poor is worse. It destroys a person.

Rest in peace.

Karlifate:
OK

This meme is funny oooo

Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you. You must be a computer

Congratulations bro.