₦airaland Forum

Is there a 2015 in the script, this contraption should end in 2014.
Where is my bomb making manual?

[quote author=omayyi ]wtf! Are u trying to tell me that some huge sums of money are being stashed up somewhere in Aba yet the town still remains a giant sh1t hole? What curse is greater than that, eh?[/quote]Check the daily deposits in the banks in the market to wise up. The fact that the governor is behaving like he is a native of Abaji is not the fault of the rich traders.

Beaf was last spotted along the major road in Orile, pushing his wheel barrow for his daily bread.

[quote author=omayyi ]funny cos my "source" also told me that 90% of the oil belongs to Kogi, 7% belongs to Anambra, while the remaining 3% belongs to both Enugu and Edo. My "source" lives down the street.[/quote]Also funny that my source told me that your governor was unaware that Abaji was a part of Kogi state. The people of Kogi discovered where Abaji is on the day the president came to commission the oil.

elujah1: What will you do

Use oyel money to buy weapons and chase you guys up north till you settle at the north eastern border of Bornu state.

[quote author=omayyi ]and you igbos leave in comfort, luxury and wealth, abi? Just like the type I saw in that sh1t hole called Aba.[/quote]Thank God for the stoppage of slave trade, the money from Aba only can buy up the whole masses in Kogi state.

cogitoErgo: so wht ar u insinuatng? dat hs wife dd what, upon au much

Some babes could be funny o
Some will send the cash back home to their brother, or hide it for weekend shopping of a jewelery and come up with stories. Not every woman sha.

Super1759: But is there anyone complaining of inadequate water supply?
flood is killing and rendering people homeless and she is saying another thing. What a misconception

Many households lack drinking water.

Nigeria leads the world in one area, making empty and fake promises with no plan to make it work.

It is possible, but then again, do you totally trust your wife? Just asking.

The only thing working well in Kogi is the Niger river confluence in Lokoja. Every other thing is a total mess.

Why are rich thiefs always ugly, MKO will come firs in most hansome men competition, counting from the bottom of the list

NRI PRIEST: I was gonna ask the same question about the developed well in I kogi; But why didn't they say anything before now ? Something in me tells me they are hiding something. That single well is not enough for them to carry out drilling and make kogi an oil producing state,while most blocks are located in Omanbala. So,this is what I think: ;This dummies think by orient drilling in Omanbala and one well from their side happened to be explored,the feds will automatically declare kogi an oil producing state,alongside Omanbala. I think I captured the picture,right here. If not,why would they erupt in anger GEJ declared Omanbala an oil producing state and claimed they are also a producing state(with one well)
These were their dumb calculations; To ride on our surfering back to become an oil producing state,with a single well and still get the same amount of allocation....chaii,kogi peeepuluuu. Una get sense shaa!

Mischievious Scheemings

ujukala: Orient Petroleum Plc is going on with its recruitment. September 30 is deadline.

Agbal aka azo ani

[quote author=One_Naira]Leaving does not necessary mean leaving everything including your hard earned money. Orient company should just sell the oil block back to Kogi state governor or another oil company. If that cannot happen, the next step is to follow mend footstep and destroy every single effort they put on the oil block meaning send it back to the way it was before they started drilling....a whole loss of money for their earlier effort but at least they would not feel cheated.[/quote]Beer palour yarns Iya basira, give this guy a bottle of Star for his aimless drivel.

Acidosis: oh yes, your village developed with ageing witches and wizards feeding on the worms..
tell us ur village, and I'll show u a land of bigots and perverts.

Even Kogi people are claiming to compete with Anambra? Na wao!
My honest opinion, Anambra is not in your league abeg.

agabasam: I tot food z d way 2 a mans heart.... Hw she take catch u....lol

That proverb was before tantalizer and mr biggs came, now mini skirt and low down blouse is the sure way to a mans heart.

offshoreking: and who told u that she doesn't cook?

If she cooks, then hunger go kill mr presido, all those her jumping from plane to plane, maybe she sends the food on email?

eyenCalabar: I can be of help if u are serious but i'll only teach you how to cook our food. Don't know where u come from but one thing for sure u'll enjoy all i'll teach u.

They will send her to your house ba?

offshoreking: To be frank with everyone here, i have nothing to do with such lady. as an African lady ur first priority in life is to know hw to cook before another thing. Guy, since u said u love her, if u are a type that like to eat outside u should go ahead with her, but if not, u should send her back to her family to enable her learn hw to cook, on the process of her learning hw to cook u may even find another that can spoil u with food. All this new generation lady self.

The poster said he snt her to a cooking school and still.....
So its clear, choose the quality you liked b/f you called her your fiance, because am sure she passed some tests before you started thinking of owning her heart. Dont come back her crying in another thread "I am tired and want to divorce my wife, she does not know hoe to cook"

esere826: @van bonattel
U mean that this particular demon also bequeaths the village's native priest with the most gorgeous damsel!!!!

............mmmmmhhhh

True, if we can rewind back 100 years ago, my profession of choice will be native doctor, na god go save all those girls for ma hand. And to make matters worse, there was no bra or blouse back then! Kai damburuba!

Damon03: I used to experience this too, its very disturbing. Its good to recite quranic verses or read the bible but this sleeping paralysis of a thing is purely physical. Sleep on your right side nt on ur back or your left(dont put ur weight on ur heart). If you still experience it then just try to go back to sleep and u'll be suprised how easy you'll wake up.

This guy is here to give you wrong advice so he can come back and press you down at night, check his user name

uchlukez: Does the 'demon' press u with electric or charcoal iron #justasking

The demon is from the press, he wants to interview them

ajf: It happens to me a lot most especially when I've had a tiring day. Next time when it happens to you, just try to be calm as much as possible because the more you try to fight it the longer it lasts...

Yes, be calm, you can even be reading newspaper when it is happening.

Toktee: Any girl that dont know how to cook is not ready to marry,this is a lesson to all the ajebota out there that think they will never leave their fathers house

Does patience Jonathan cook?

[quote author=mr_man]my grandma in the village told me that it happens when a wall gehco is directly above you or passes by your bed when you're asleep.[/quote]Please call her and ask her how the wall gecko got so much muscle to hold you down on the bed

esere826: mmmmhhhh'
Some people recite quaran, some others call Jesus, while some others just relax.. at the end it goes away.

So since some belive that this is demonic, we can conclude that the devil is afraid of both Allah, Jehova and man. And yet he stupidly sneaks in to pull a fast one.

This particular demon apparently has one common goal then: to make imams, pastors and doctors very rich as they charge consultancy fees to the op-'pressed'

Dont mind people, thats why native doctors married the most pretty village gurls back then. This disoder will happen to a pretty gurl in her teens or wet dreams and her parents will bundle her to the herbalist. The man will take a good look of her excellent waist or her succulent pointed oranges and scream "she is a spirit from the bottom of the ocean" an abiku or ogbanje that will kill her parents.
He will advice them to remand her in his shrine for 7 days so he can perform some charms on her head. Alas, the girl will be cast out of the wet dream with his "rod" between his leggs. very serious deliverance operation in his bedroom every night!
He will service this girl for seven days and return her if he does not like her punny, or marry her and warn the parents that this is the only way to save her life from the "strong water wizard" who will kill her if she returns home.
419 had been in existence before the coming of the white man.

@ OP, if she is excellent in bed and good looking, just get a maid and balance the equation, at least she can do something.

conyema12: I used to have it.. It is so scary, but I have now discovered the trick about it; I no longer get scared when it happens all I do is to be calm, concentrate and call Jesus.
It happens mostly when am lying on my back.

In as much as it is a natural phenomenon, witches also use it to torment their preys.

Witches, what did you do to this witch, dont tell me you pissed on her garden

tex baba: yea i knw the feeling, coincidentally it almost happened to me last nyt again. It happened to me several times that i have now knwn when it wants to happen nd what to do to stop it. last nyt, while i lay down to sleep, i felt the experience building up, buh i quickly used all my strength to move my body nd forcefully open my eyes before it took root in me, also changing my sleeping position. trying to sleep again, it started building up again nd after fitghing it off again, i took my bible which was like miles away frm me...looool, prayed- covering myslf with the blood of Jesus and putting the bible under my pillow. i tell u the thing stoped immediately nd i slept soundly. i usually see it as demonic attack, cos the first times i exzperienced it, it really took hold of me so i felt the demons warm hands on my cheeks, laughing sinistally while laid helpless...i could feel it. i understand it usually when these evil pple have seen that something good is coming ur way, they use that means to collect the glory meant for u nd u would miss out on it. please if u have such experiences, dont just relax nd let it go on, fitgh it off cos when they say some pple sleep nd didnt wake up, thats usually what happend to them...they were pressed to death.

Its very normal fo a young lad, it cannot happen to 30+ adults except the 'kids at heart' If reall it is demons, why does it need to awake you before pressing you, it can sneak in and just stab you to death without your knowing how or why.

The only way I can kneel for a gurl is if am giving her doggy style.