₦airaland Forum

obowunmi:
HELLO,
Someone just infected me with the HPV virus.
Booty call is not really free after all.
Doctors in their house, what does this mean for me as a man?

DanceVille:
Every Nigerian Single ladies want to get married and of course wants to impress the man of their dreams.There's absolutely nothing wrong in showing off your good womanly skills and why you will make a better wife than your rival.

Buh there are some wifely duties you should avoid with your boyfriend if you want to have a good future ahead.


7 Wifely Duties Nigerian Ladies Should Avoid With Their Boyfriends

1. Mingle With His Friends

This might be fun if you knew him through his friends, buh nevertheless, you should cut down on all familarity with his friends once you start dating him.This will save you from the stress of your good intentions being misinterpreted,Or his friends knowing too much of you to begin to decide whether they like or approve you or not.

2. Do His Laundry

You should be focused on building your relationship, not how great a housekeeper you're.There are laundry shops on almost every street in Nigeria cities.If he tells you his clothes need washing, offer to call your laundry man for him or help him drop his clothes at the laundry shop.

3. Spend The Weekend At His Place

Most Nigerian ladies do this a lot and it's becoming a norm.You just want to have the feel of what it will actually be like living with him.It starts by sleeping over because it was too late for you to go home, then it progresses to you consciously going there for the weekend.What happened to the place you paid rent for? Smh..

4. Visit His Family Regularly

First things first, don't be in a haste to meet his family, or for him to meet your family unless he's planning to marry you.And when he finally introduces you to them, avoid paying the regular and uncalled for visits.The idea is not to get too involved with his family until you start bearing their name.

5. Depending On Him To Take Care Of You And Your Family

This is very common among Nigerian ladies, where a single lady assumes that all her financial burdens will be relieved by her boyfriend.Only lazy girls depend on their boyfriends for everything and if you want him to appreciate you, show him you're capable of taking care of your needs as well as that of your family.

6. Sleep With Him

Sex is sacred and was designed for married couples.You giving your body to your boyfriend goes against God's plan and also defiles your body and values.Stop giving him your body whenever he calls you up for it.Until he puts a wedding ring on your finger, then he's not worthy to receive wife benefits from you.When you become his wife, he will get treated like a husband.

7. Public Display Of Affection

Nigerian ladies are too fast in doing things when they are in a relationship.Try as much as possible to avoid going everywhere together, holding hands, kissing in public, uploading his pics on your social networks account and all that love birds do to drag attention.You might see it as part of spicing up your relationship buh it'll have negative effects on you if the relationship doesn't end up at the altar.

I drop my pen at this Juncture.


Written And Compiled By
DanceVille

jennyfah:
dont get the whole thing wrong
we all knw that d popular sayin bankers dont close early
bankers dont hav time
well Diamond bank created a policy that states nobody shld be in d ofice by 7pm
by 7pm the server is switched off from head office
this doesnt mean that 7.00 is when staff close from work
like me for instance today i left the office by 5.30pm although i dont stay in lagos bt the staff in our lagos branches can attest to the fact that theyy leave the office early
i love my work place and i have no reason to regret workin with Diamond bank

Mrjo:
They will nt force u to buy it, did they? Thats what u get when u say nokia is costly and wanted to change phones like inner wear.

Mrjo:
They will nt force u to buy it, did they? Thats what u get when u say nokia is costly and wanted to change phones like inner wear.

Raph01:
See una life now!

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/avd.gif

Odunharry:
Smh...Nothing go happen to anybody.. After all you both enjoyed each other and the earlier young ladies understand that not all relationships will lead to marriage the better.
Forget about the promises..We know this days many promises are not kept or are made from a lying tongue.


If a man leaves you as a woman, you should check yourself cause no guy will leave a good woman or the guy should go for check up.



i taya oh i beg liv dirty for lawma joor

Buharism:
when you go to the super market to buy bread or milk, do u test it to knw if it is good or delicious?

MrMcJay:
During the 1995 Coup plot of Abacha's regime, Obasanjo was abroad when he got info that he was to be arrested in connection with the coup and he spurned it saying 'they hadn't given birth to the person that would arrest him.' Immediately he landed at the airport in Lagos, he was arrested. This same Obasanjo burst into tears when Col Ibrahim Yakassai brought an injection needle for OBJ, this same OBJ making mouth burst into tears.

The above is for all those that think Buhari can not arrest Jonathan. There is nothing GEJ is that OBJ wasn't as at the time he was arrested.

When government cook your beans and e don done, nothing can stop you from eating it. Ask Kanu and Diya.

ILoveMakonen:
If buhari dares pardon all these boko haram's terror one day then i will be the next leader of the group dat will hunt buhari down. Lol. This lil kid just went tru some trauma so early in life. I'm angry!!!

seankafor:
I wrote my exam on 27th Feb. so this morning I saw an alert from Jamb telling me that my score is 161.
meanwhile I am sure what I wrote that dat shii can not be my score.
now to the whole truth.. teachers of the subjects I sat for were the ones who helped and answered all of the questions.. I also croschecked the ones I knew especially biology, and it was all the correct answers.
now only for Jamb to send me161.. I have gone online to check it but it seems that their portal isn't yet opened..
so who has had this experience before.. and can this be a sort of mistakes or what?
(


MODIFIED.... ITS OFFICIAL. 161..

THATS MY FATE AND I ACCEPT IT.. .. I TRIED.. EVERY BODY TRIED.. BUT NATURE SAYS OTHERWISE....

..LIFE GOES ON.

TO THOSE CRITICIZING.. ITS GOOD BUT IT WILL BE BETTER TO CATCH A GLIMPSE, REASON OUTSIDE THE BOX BEFORE U CRITICIZE... LIFE CHANGES, WHO KNOWS IT MIGHT BE U TOMORROW.?

sirculynz:
After my service July last yr, my company refused to staff me, that I can only be employed as a trainee engr which comes with only small stipend. So I wrote this particular test online on July for one multi national company in lekki. 2 months later I got a text from them to come for interview, I was surprised. I went there. I was interviewed by an indian, the interview was so intense, he asked me many questions including sm calculations on electrical engr, I tink I got most. That interview lasted for abt 30mins each prsn & we where just 15. On dec, I got a call from them to come for medicals. By Jan I waited for them, I was tempted to go & find out my status from them @ their office but I kept cool. So on wed evening as I was leaving office I got a call from the HR of this new company, & she asked me to come tomorrow for their offer letter. When I went there & saw their offer, it was wow. we were 7, they apologised to us for taking this long to finally recruit us, that we were the lucky ones out of thousands of applicants & they had to do thorough screening. Omo that night I couldn't sleep, happiness won kill me. So the next morning when I went to my office to resign, I first told my boss, he was shocked cos I was one of his top engrs that delivers well. When I went to the HR to submit the letter. She asked abt the new company & i told her. She quickly had a meeting with sm top ogas & even the MD. Right there, she printed an offer letter, I was shocked. So after all this while, na now una know my importance. I told her dt my new company is gonna pay me 3x this offer & it's an international company with job security. After I greeted sm friends I left knowing fully well I'm going to a far better place. I'm resuming this Monday & I can't wait to get started.
So my fellow Job seekers, I wish u all the best. There are still good jobs out there u can get without knowing anybody. This year shall be our year of plenty testimonies.
Please ignore my typo errors**

donestk:
Each time I board a bus or keke and try to start a conversation with a girl, one way or the other she ends up paying my transport fare.

Even when I get her number and try to follow up, she will eventually tell me she's in a relationship.

Am beginning to find it embarrassing as it repeated last night.

Guys, have you experienced same?

Babes, what's really the motive of paying a dude's t-fare with no strings attached?

iliyande:
By Yinka Odumakin

“Yakubu is 25 but a Nigerian 25”—Everton Manager, David Moyes in 2008.

“I don’t see Nigerian football getting out of the quagmire, the problem it is in, today, is because corruption is getting deeper and deeper. From time to time we get flashes where we do well in some competitions with overage players and we celebrate.
That was one of the issues I looked at; we can’t keep using overage players. We used over-age players for junior championships, I know that. Why not say it? It’s the truth. We always cheat. It’s a fact. When you cheat, you deprive the young stars that are supposed to play in these competitions their rights.”— NFA Chairman, Anthony Kojo Williams, in 2000.

JULIUS Agwu is one of my favourite comedians in Nigeria .I love his feminine voice,the crispness of his jokes as well as his delivery. Anytime I am boarding a flight and I call my wife,I usually say “abodu ala o”.I picked that from Julius.He cracked the joke about a flight attendant going around the lounge to announce an aircraft boarding because the public address system was not working during the renovations of the Enugu airport .

The Igbo lady was saying: “A Lagos abodu ala o” There was a passenger billed to fly that plane who did not understand a word in Igbo and therefore sat put while other passengers went to join the queue. About an hour later he went to the A… counter and asked why they had yet to make a boarding call only to be told that the plane had since departed “I went round shouting abodu ala” came from the flight attendant as if every passenger must understand her native tongue.

But his joke that is relevant to what I am discussing today is the one where he talked about some Nigerian team training for an age-grade competition near his house and how he went to one of the players to ask for his age and the response he got was: “Our coach has not given us our age”.

We have just “conquered” the world again in Chile and the drums are rolling in celebration of our lack of character and integrity as a people. Our infinite capacity to conspire in falsehood and pretend that all is well when the reverse is the case is once more being demonstrated even when we don’t blink in reciting our

NATIONAL PLEDGE:

“I pledge to Nigeria my country To be faithful,loyal and HONEST”

We say these and all the other lines(read LIES) even when no one believes in them. We have mastered the art of saying something and doing another because the very foundation of our country is a concrete of lies. Every action we take is built on falsehood because we just can’t do it right. Cheating our ways to corner undeserved advantages has become a national culture because we have not been able to construct a national vision.

After 55 years we still cannot count ourselves because an accurate census would minimise our ability to cheat. Our examinations have become a farce as parents even buy questions for their wards and pay for admissions. We beat traffic rules if there is nobody in sight to enforce them.Our politicians forge certificates to contest elections. Our vote counts conflict with actual vote cast. Judges take bribes to pervert Justice. Priests and Imams negate moral values. The “how “ no longer matter to us and yet we pray that our country should succeed .

We can occasionally have some fake success but not good success because we break all the rules of success as natural cheats. We deploy kids to vote in elections where adults should participate when we want to cheat internally and assemble adults to go and compete with kids globally when we want to cheat internationally. This is why we are celebrating 22 men who went to an unequal competition with only whispers about the actual ages of our boys.

Physical appearance
Mere physical appearances of our boys should tell any honest person that the suspicion about true ages of some Nigerian footballers which made FIFA to ban the country from all international fixtures for two years after finding that the birth dates of three of our players in the 1988 Olympics were different from ones used by the same players in previous tournaments is still very much with us.

Nigeria has over the years paraded promising “ youngsters” who mysteriously failed to fulfill their potential in the senior teams. Phillip Osondu was the best player at the 1987 Under-17 World Cup, after which he was signed on by Anderlecht, only to drift out of the game and into janitorial work after questions were raised about his real age. Femi Opabunmi shone brilliantly when Nigeria played in the finals of the Under-17 competition in 2001 and was officially the third youngest player in the senior team when he featured in the 0-0 game with England during the 2002 World Cup. But by 2005 he had expired doing only part-time soccer in some unrated team in lower rungs of the French league.

Adokiye Amiesimaka questioned the inclusion of Golden Eaglets captain Fortune Chukwudi during the 2009 Under 17 championship . Amiesimaka in an unusual candor bared his mind after Nigeria’s opening 3-3 draw with Germany at the Abuja National Stadium on October 24. “In the 2002/2003 season, I was chairman of Sharks Football Club of Port Harcourt. I decided to have a feeder team of fresh school leavers not older than 20 years.

One of my key players then is the current captain of our so-called Under-17 Golden Eaglets. By his own admission at that time, that is seven years ago, he was 18 years old…If we are not utterly irresponsible, how can he be eligible for this tournament when he is not less than 25 years old now?” Amiesimaka wrote in the Punch newspaper. Chukwudi played till the Eaglets final match and fizzled out thereafter. But since corruption is official in Nigeria,there was no whimper from our officials .
I read on The Cable in June this year of how Taye Taiwo’s twin sister allegedly celebrated her 39th birthday the day Taiwo was doing his own 27th.There was also the story of Samson Siasia cutting the cake of his 30th wedding anniversary at the age of 47!

About the most hilarious was that of Dele Ajiboye who exposed the lie over his age when he featured in the Under-17 tournament in 2007″.In the chat(with Soccer Star) the Golden Eaglets gold medal-winning goalkeeper in the FIFA U-17 World Cup in 2007 inadvertently revealed he was older than he claimed eight years earlier. When asked about his role model as a professional goalkeeper, the Kwara United keeper revealed the person without much fuss. “I have many role models.

Anyone I learn from is my role model,” he said. “I could remember when I was still a young boy, I do watch Peter Rufai and I learnt a lot from him.” Ajiboye is 25 now and 17 in 2007, but we doubt he was referring to the Peter Rufai of 1998 World Cup. Nobody learnt anything fruitful and meaningful from Rufai of 1998. Even Ajiboye at age eight couldn’t have learnt anything worthy from the fumbling Dodo Mayana except, of course, how to make cheap goals look spectacular. Then, we are assuming Ajiboye was referring to the Rufai of 1994 Africa Cup of Nations and World Cup. But in 1994, Ajiboye was four!”
James Spencer in an article traced age fraud in the Premier League to African players: “Age fraud came to prominence in the Premier League from the mid-1990s onwards, as clubs began looking more and more at emerging African players. Several former Premier League players from Nigeria alone have been suspected of such misrepresentation.

Nwankwo Kanu is a legend of African football and became a cult hero in England playing for clubs like Arsenal and Portsmouth. The tall forward won the Champions League with Ajax in 1995, but was always suspected to be as much as nine years older than his stated age. Speaking in 2010, Harry Redknapp jokingly exaggerated that Kanu was 49, though given how he described ever increasing ailments and the need for treatment, there seemed to be a shred of authenticity to his words.

Former Newcastle United striker Obafemi Martins was also at the centre of an age row. The player had spectacularly burst onto the scene with Inter Milan as a youngster, but failed to make the most of his talent, suggesting he could already have been much older than stated. In 2005, while Martins was still in Italy, the Nigerian Football Federation claimed he was actually born in 1978, though his player registration stated it was 1984.

National failure
Similar stories also exist for both Jay-Jay Okocha and Taribo West who plied their trade in the Premier League for Bolton Wanderers and Derby County, respectively.

Throughout his career, Okocha was rumoured to be 10 years older than his official age. Following his departure from Derby in 2001, West allegedly told Partizan Belgrade that he was only 28, though given the state of his body the club had strong suspicions that he was 40.

It may not occur to us that our national failure is the sum total of all these little acts of dishonesty .I recall a Dutch-journalist friend of mine who I was driving along the Airport Road in 1998 and saw a fellow peeing on the road. He looked at the guy and said to me: “If that man cannot see anything wrong urinating on the roadside,he would do other 1000 things that are not right and would not see nothing wrong”.

We shall engage in this hollow rituals of celebrating our “victory” but we know in the inner recesses of our minds that is all a fluke because we didn’t do it right. Scoundrels posing as patriots would even abuse this writer for writing the truth. That majority is wrong should not desist the minority that is right from saying it as it is.

The truth must be told even if heavens fall: It is only righteousness that exalts a nation.
cc; lalasticlala ,ishilove
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/11/papa-eaglets-and-our-cheating-culture/

Kalvan:
Biafra? You mean the land of fraudsters and erosion?!
My heart o!

Sasuwa:
Jma

babseg:
What's the answer