₦airaland Forum

swtchicgurl:
Funny u called me 'Ma', Probably because of the tone in which I wrote. I am also young.

Back to your post above, focus on the things I told you earlier and then keep repeating the same words you wrote up there "O Lord help me"...

I can almost promise you'll be fine.

Hilles:
fake ass virgin..why try so hard to fight the urge if really you are..Vaselines and soap won't give you that experience.. what I see you suffering from is low self esteem!

AfricanApple:
mind you, I don't kiss anyone I can't/won't have sex with

word: don't smell what you can't eat

AfricanApple:
mind you, I don't kiss anyone I can't/won't have sex with

word: don't smell what you can't eat

Lisaflex:
Yw...Remain steadfast, u hv cm ds far...It pleases me 2 knw dt der r still ppl lyk u out der

swtchicgurl:
Listen to me virginboy1, you are not the first guy of your age to be a virgin neither will you be the last.

I know guys well over 30 years who are still very much virgins. I admit it is difficult for you, but what I want you to understand now is that, you can turn the urge into motivation and make it a better testimony at the end of the day. What do i mean by this?

You are in your mid-20s, meaning you are marriageable. What's keeping you from settling down in marriage properly? maybe education, career, finance, personal achievements etc. Everytime you get this urge, you think of how badly you wanna have sex, then you think of what is necessary for you to have sex --- marriage! then you think of achieving your pre-set plans to make marriage possible, then you start fulfilling your dreams in good time too! For instance, you exercise in the morning when you get this urge? That is a good application of the urge! After exercising, pursue your dreams!

Sexual urge, popularly called konji, has brought the best and worst from people. you cannot undermine its potency but you can make it work for you. Sexual urge is natural and God that made it also instituted marriage for sex. So, there must be a reason for the urge when it comes prior to marriage. It has energy! Let it move you to your dreams and make you a better man for your future wife.

It is very ok at your age to start a relationship, BUT abstain from sex and it's 'appetisers' e.g. kissing, careless touches or sexting etc... Ask any sincere non-virgin, when you start having sex, it's much more difficult to stop!

Help yourself!

skelefish:
Virginboy1, no be u open the plight of a male virgin? Which one be this again? Ur sexual urge is increasingly becoming irresistible, I knw how it feels, if u can no longer hold on, it's better u lose it & free yourself,so that u will not rush headlong into marriage cos of sex.

I doubt if engaging in a relationship devoid of sex will work out. Sex is a crucial factor in any relationship as it stands now, u knw how difficult it is controlling dat urge as single, let alone chick kon involve,my guy u go lose guard. Anyways, easy easy my guy.

jmoore:
I have given you my reply in the first thread. Why create another duplicate na?

AfricanApple:
you want to kiss without having sex? one chance for you

AfricanApple:
you want to kiss without having sex? one chance for you

skelefish:
Only to run out like a child had me in stitches. I must commend u, it's not easy, after watching indecency one is somewht filled with remorse.(Nt evrybody tho) But prior to watching lies an irresistible urge, but after watching it fades away.

Same apply to sex, there is pleasure in having sex frm wht I have seen, but it's too transient for u to lose wht u have hold for so long. I don't knw how to explain this, because I knw sexual urge is no respecter of counsel, article or whatsoever to deviate one's reasoning frm sex.

But just hold yourself a little,u'll soon get married(but your wife go collect wella sha, all d straffin make u dey hold since will be on her, lol) try to move with like minds, though they are not many, because JSS students get babe sef, but I blive we still have a few, just hold on & be strong, b4 u knw marriage don set.

But u seem to me like an open eye virgin, e dey hard dose ones wella, because dey are constantly exposed, pple won't even blive dey are v.God will help u.

Lisaflex:
Seeing stuff does not mk u fnk abt it bt dwelling on wot u c is wot will mk u fnk abt it...Get busy wt stuff dt's impnt 2 u n u'd be surprised dt u'd rarely remember sex...D tot'll cross ur mind once in a wyl buh its ur job 2 relegate it 2 d bkground by not focusing on it

mirexxx:
my opinion o...seems u dont wanna av premarital sex so if u have a girlfnd u love, tell her abt it n ask her 2 marry u if she accepts then go 2 a nearby church meet d priest and ask him 2 join u b4 God. u don't need money 4 wedding or anyfin.

Not that,I dont wanna have sex,since the urge comes with a massive velocity, my body craves for it. Am just obeying the word of my Creator.
I hope I make it and marry someday to get relieved of this overrated stuff.
Thanks for your credible advice





its not a sin


at least u'd b relieved

mentorandfriend:
The feelings you're having is natural. I have them too. It can really be frustrating. I've never had sex before, so I identify with your feelings. My advice is not for you to go out looking for cheap sex. Get a girl who really loves you. If both of you are really into each other, then little things as calls, text, pings, exchange of gifts, hugging, deep french kissing, and holding of hands can show you how much you're really loved. It eases the tension. That's what I did.

skelefish:
Op I perfectly knw how u feel, I have been a celibate since birth, so I can say it's not easy @all. Pple now see fornication which is one of the greatest sin as a normal thing, because they simply can't resist sex. Sexual desire is part of our everyday lives, pressure frm frnds, media, social networks can make one to loose self control.

I must confess, u can only become a strong male virgin after going Through @least one real temptation frm a female,if u're able to resist it,then u can be sure of urself,because the urge for sex is very difficult to suppress. If u intend to get married am afraid it's gonna be hard, when u knw u'll eventually loose it one day.

My broda to remain a virgin in this sex driven world is hard, everywhere u go na sex, but I tank God am a strong virgin now, no woman born of a woman can eva bring me down again,am sure of dat,I passed my test, no indecency,masturbation,etc.

But try to always conceal ur sexual status because of pressure.

jmoore:
Urges are natural. Virgins and non-virgins all got urges.

*I made up my mind to stop porn some years ago.So I dont watch porn again.

*Changing friends will indirectly symbolises me a loner,because most of my cordial friends that are witty lively and productive are into sex and lewd activities.
I will try and tolerate that part of them.

Lastly,with the ways ladies loose their virginity at ease this days,am having a phobia that i might not marry one at the longrun.Maybe with time my OT will change.
Thanks for your advice

Losing focus at night because of sexual urge? Do you watch p0rn? What imaginations go through your mind if you don't watch p0rn? "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
If you spend more time feeding your brain these stuff, then your body will react to it. So if you watch any p0rn stuff, better get rid of it.

You need to check the type of friends you associate with. The ones you got presently can influence you negatively.
Why feel bad if they mock you? Work on your self-esteem bro. If you are proud to be a virgin then you should not feel bad if some folks mock you.
This is not the first time I have heard of waist pain . I don't think the waist pain got anything to do with your V status.

How long can you wait? It depends on you. You don't have to be rich before you marry. If you are not yet working then seek for job or be self-employed. Then start saving, savings of two-three years can be very helpful. Then a low-key wedding after that if you have found your bride.

Lisaflex:
D less u fnk abt sex,d easier it'll be 4 u 2 abstain

EroticAngelina:
Something happened to me just now, and i am so sad and depressed
i cnt say what happened coz its personal...
I need u guy's advise on how to make dis sadness stop pls
one more thing, if u knw ur jx gonna come here and insult me, jx press back

emusmith:
Op, Can I ask you?


1. Have you really sat down with her (or them) to discuss this as the FIRST Son and a Responsible Young Man?
If Yes, What's their reply?

If No, Go and do that. Having not done that and "complaining" isn't an attitude of A Man that is ready to TAKE responsibility sooner or later.

2. Saying you're disappointed in your dad is enough to "shut the heavens over you"- I found it in my Bible. " Your parents are still your parents. Don't disregard or disrespect them in your heart or actions- It's Costly.


3. Who even told you just because you're the first means that you will be the one to "shoulder the responsibility" in your whole family? Who told you?
Joseph was the 12th child out of 13, yet they all survived through him! David was the last out of 7 and became their king and provider! I could go on and on, using real life examples...


Take no thought for the morrow, sufficient to the day is the evil thereof- This is your predicament.

NB: I'm not saying they should keep bearing kids any how.

Don't be offended at my use of Scriptures. It's all I know.

emusmith:
Op, Can I ask you?


1. Have you really sat down with her (or them) to discuss this as the FIRST Son and a Responsible Young Man?
If Yes, What's their reply?

Yes Sir,reply was there is nothing they can do about it now,mother was saying it has happened it has happened "its not funny at all"

If No, Go and do that. Having not done that and "complaining" isn't an attitude of A Man that is ready to TAKE responsibility sooner or later.

Have done that,too much responsibility can be suicidial,whether being Real man and Any man.

2. Saying you're disappointed in your dad is enough to "shut the heavens over you"- I found it in my Bible. " Your parents are still your parents. Don't disregard or disrespect them in your heart or actions- It's Costly.

Really, so whenever parents acts in an obnoxious manner or acts without respect their kids should be happy and proud of them?just asking.

3. Who even told you just because you're the first means that you will be the one to "shoulder the responsibility" in your whole family? Who told you?
Joseph was the 12th child out of 13, yet they all survived through him! David was the last out of 7 and became their king and provider! I could go on and on, using real life examples...

Yes,in the society and evironment we find ourselves,please lets be objective Sir.It is, especially when the parents dont have the resources.
Moreover,why compare the old Testament to this our 21st century "where na manage we dey manage"

Take no thought for the morrow, sufficient to the day is the evil thereof- This is your predicament.

NB: I'm not saying they should keep bearing kids any how.

Don't be offended at my use of Scriptures. It's all I know.

Simoneblosson:
I feel your pain brother. in 2010 when my mom called me aside to share a supposed good news, i became mad and melancholic when she told me i we were expecting another child, i actually cried for several days and thought committing suicide because in a family of 5kids where we virtually surviving off relatives, my immediate younger sister died of kidney issues the previous year cos we couldnt afford the surgery fees, i expressed my concerns with tears but i almost curses from my mom which heightened my frustration. Well iv since resulted to accepting things the way the are but with a resolve to do the much i can we the time comes with straining myself, life is full of many issues for me to kill myself on the ones my parents chose to create for me i suppose

mutter:
This life does not always come as you think. At the end of the day it might be this last child that becomes great and takes care of you all.
This is your brother and sister and an enrichment to your lives. I don`t see anything wrong with it. More and more women are giving birth at a later age and it works out.
The only thing you can do is help her where you can.

carefreewannabe:
Virginboy1, how old are you and your siblings?

Nobleval:
excuse me please!,what are you trying to prove? The guy know very well about his family and from the look of things his father isn't financially capable of taking care of 5 kids,talk less of 8! C'mon dude,lets face the fact!,this isn't about their life,it's about family planning. Take a look at Northern Nigeria,you'd see what lack of birth control has done to the region,:apart from poverty and illiteracy it has aided in churning out terrorists. When a mother breeds like rats and let them run around without proper home and formal training,what do you get at the end?...potential gangs,armed robbers,419ers,touts, e.t.c

You have to agree with me that the Op has every right to be concerned,because apart from the economic burden which this kid and others before him/her will bring to the family,which could hinder his education,it is certainly a future burden waiting for him.

In a family like this it's expected that the first issue continues from where his parents stopped which is very tasking and uneccessary. He has his life to live,his future and aims in life,he has to marry and adding these avoidable burdens to them isn't advisable.

And also you have to consider his mum's health,c'mon! What's she doing with eight kids at her age?,that's very risky...she should go on pills after this kid. I'd advise the Op to have a serious discussion with his parents on this issue,so that this mistake will not be repeated.
We've gone past the age when we give birth to scores of kids because we believe that they're from God...this is 21st century.

clovislouis:
Ladies/guys here is a question I really wanna know about. Most people will feel it's rather not a perogative for long lasting affair. Pls does sex brings stability in a relationship?. Note - ur candid advice