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 Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 11:50am On Dec 09, 2013 |
Akpos and his ever nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. While there, his wife passed away. The undertaker told Akpos, “You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000. Akpos thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home. The undertaker asked him, “why would you spend $ 5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $150?” Akpos replied, “Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!” |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 11:45am On Dec 09, 2013 |
A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”. And the congregation cried, “Amen!” “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”. And the congregation cried, “Amen!” “And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”. Again the congregation cried, “Amen!” The preacher sat down. Then Deacon Akpos stood up & said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river”. The congregation screamed HALLELUJAH!!! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 11:43am On Dec 09, 2013 |
Akpos buys five pants of the same colour for his wife. Wife: Ah, same colour? People will think I don’t change my panties. Akpos: Which people? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 11:38am On Dec 09, 2013 |
A warden caught Akpos leaving the vicinity of the reservoir with a bucket of fish and the following conversation ensued: Warden: Aha! I’ve caught you stealing fish red- handed! Akpos: What do you mean by red-handed? Warden: You’ve got a bucket full of fish right here, u can’t talk your way out of it this time. Akpos: Oh, you don’t understand, I’ve not stolen a thing. These are my pet fish! I bring them to the reservoir once a week for exercise. After they’ve had a good swim, they come back to the bucket and we go back home. Warden: Do you expect me to believe such a tale? Akpos: I can prove it. So they walked back to the reservoir and Akpos dipped the bucket in and the fishes swam away. They both stood in silence for 20, 30, 40 minutes and there was no sign of the fish coming back to the bucket. Warden: Ha, you lying rogue!!! You stole fish. Akpos: What fish? Where is your proof? |
| Politics › Re: If Politicians Stop Stealing, There Will Be No ASUU Strike- Gov. Aliyu by vizboy(m): 8:49pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
laugh and falls from garri tree no be una dey steal the money,why you dey tell as if we no know before |
| Nairaland General › Re: My Experience At Ikoyi Prison With Inmates And Warders by vizboy(m): 7:48pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
my belle wan burst |
| Romance › Re: Why Are Nairaland Guys Like This? by vizboy(m): 3:38pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
        JAMB QUESTION |
| Romance › Re: How To Get A Girl Number In Less Then Few Seconds by vizboy(m): 3:35pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
love too get so many do and dont na wa oh me self don tire |
| Romance › Re: How To Make Any Girl Want To Kiss You(check It Out) by vizboy(m): 3:21pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
][color=#000030:sexkillz how far na. @op all trash |
| Romance › Re: My Gf Mum Is Inlove With Me. Pls Help by vizboy(m): 3:15pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
your story sweet oh. when we go get episode 2 |
| Romance › Re: The Handsomeness Of Nairaland Men! *official* by vizboy(m): 3:03pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
skullz: |
| Romance › Re: I Pity D Woman Dat Will Marry U, My GF Said To Me by vizboy(m): 5:13pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
it all jokes |
| Romance › Re: Are Nairaland Men This Desperate? by vizboy(m): 5:09pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
op check if you have seem my mail |
| Fashion › Re: OSHIOMOLE Inspired 'go And Die' Tshirt Is Out by vizboy(m): 4:38pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
I don see the pix make una come see wetin konji dey cost oh www.nairaland.com/1546647/b-i-z-a-r-r-e-goat-court-face-man |
| Crime › Re: B-I-Z-A-R-R-E: Goat In Court To Face Man Who Had Sex With Her by vizboy(op): 4:35pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
seriously konji na bad thing |
| Politics › Re: Let's Have Your Complaints, Suggestions & Enquiries Here by vizboy(m): 4:32pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
can somebody please tale these to the front page www.nairaland.com/1546647/b-i-z-a-r-r-e-goat-court-face-man |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 1:39pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
Mrsanity1: nice jokesThanks for your kind words |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 1:37pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
A lady with big boobs entered a bus. She has a rosary around her neck with the cross between her boobs. Akpos was sitting beside her and couldn’t help staring. The lady knowing Akpos has been staring for over 15mins then asked “Are you looking at Jesus Christ who died on the cross? Akpos replied: No! Am actually looking at the two thieves beside him… |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 1:23pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
Akpos checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realising he sent the mail to a widow who had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted. The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read: “To my loving wife, I know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I’ve just been checked in. How are you and the kids? The place is really nice but I’m lonely here. I have made necessary arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. I’m expecting you, darling. I can’t wait to see u! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 1:20pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
Akpos, a driver who survived in a tragic accident which rendered 50 people dead at Lagos-Ibadan Express Way was remanded in police custody to assist in police investigation. Here is the Interrogation: POLICE: Mr Akpos, how did you end up killing 50 people? AKPOS: I was driving at 150km/hr when I saw two men crossing the road. On the other side, a wedding was taking place. I hit the brake but it failed, so I had to make a choice; either hit the two men or run into the wedding party. POLICE: Hit the two men of course to reduce Casualties! AKPOS: Exactly, we think alike oooh! But after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party. POLICE: So, what did you do? AKPOS: I went after him to balance the equation…But unfortunately, people lost their lives in the process. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh With Me by vizboy(op): 1:17pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
Boss: Take this #150,000, go to computer village and buy me a quality laptop with a big RAM Akpors: Okay sir! Akpors didn’t return after two days, so his boss decided to reach him on phone. Boss: Hello, Akpors, what kept you long? Akpors: The RAM Boss: The RAM? How do you mean? Where are you now? Akpors: I’m on my way back from Kano sir. Boss: Kano? Akpors: Yes Kano. I bought the Laptop at Ikeja but I traveled to Kano to buy the big RAM. Boss: Oh my God! Akpors(got angry): Oh my wetin? Oga, no tear eye for me o. I be small pickin? No be Laptop and big ram you send me? 1 Like |
| Crime › B-I-Z-A-R-R-E: Goat In Court To Face Man Who Had Sex With Her by vizboy(op): 1:05pm On Dec 07, 2013 |
https://informng.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/bd5e490168_goat-300x159.png A man jailed for bestiality has come face toSource:www.informng.com/b-i-z-a-r-r-e-goat-in-court-to-face-man-who-had-sex-with-her/ |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Wrecking Ball Remix - Nigerian Version by vizboy(m): 11:14am On Dec 07, 2013 |
na wa oh. Ne no wacth her version but this is so funny |
| Health › Re: Something Special About Tiger Nuts (aki Hausa) by vizboy(m): 9:12pm On Dec 06, 2013 |
sexkillz: [color=#000030]Ofio.Ofio continue |
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 (of 185 pages)