₦airaland Forum

Martian: I live in southern U.S with all these crazy bible people. Maybe I need to move to Germany soon I'm done with stuff..............hmmm I just might...for a year or two, I kinda love the crazy bible people

Oops!!!
you've probably met all but one
i'm soooooo sane Germany will welcome you whenever you feel like coming.

Yield: She needs to heal. Healing takes time.

V_Official made some good suggestions too.

Thanks Baby

yeah...so as not to derail, i compensate you with these...

Take digestive enzymes, generically known as lactase, to help digest thelactose in dairy products you eat. Acidophilus bacteria, found in yogurt or available as a dietary supplement, can also help you to digest food.

Take an over-the-counter digestive enzyme, such as D-galactosidase, to help digest the sugars in beans and other carbohydrates and reduce smelly intestinal gas.

Exercise such as yoga and low-impact aerobics can aid in digestion. Moving your body will get your blood flowing and help all your organs function better.

Ginger is a natural remedy for intestinal gas. Sushi restaurants often serve ginger as part of the meal to aid in digestion. Soak one tablespoon of fresh
ginger in a teaspoon of lemon juice for just a few seconds, then chew slowly and swallow.

Drink peppermint tea or chamomile tea to support your digestive system and help eliminate gas.

i'm actually thinking about how diagracing that could be, buh...
Goodluck!!!

Hi there...
i've been dying to know more about this,
imma like you to come out clear so as to know the credibility of what i'm getting myself into. won't like going inbox b4 some details

Egba girl: Thanks!!

you gotta create a thread for your admirers, not all of us want to flood ur box

oh... i almost left without acknowledging the 'thanks'... i'm now feeling like a DON...

c'mon...
This man is a joker

Egba girl: Yea def check your diet. drink lots of water too. try and eat healthy. if you eat crap, you poo and fart crap. lol.

i got some 'thingies' for them afro black sisters... nice pix...

@Chux
sorry man for going outta line, you know how dz sisters arrange them attacks...

Seun: You're suffering from a killer disease known as depression, which makes you feel that your life is full of doom and gloom, but it's a treatable disease. If you can present yourself to a doctor or psychiatrist, they will prescribe a drug that will make you feel better almost instantly. Many people don't have half of what you have, and they don't feel depressed because depression is a disease. It makes you life seem bleak and hopeless, but those feelings are not real. They are just symptoms of the disease called depression

Mr. Seun.
You can help this young lost man. He may never open this account again but i'm sure you can know other accounts he has opened from the device he used in opening this. Scan through all his post in case he has put his personal phone number on any. Call him on our behalf and probably give him a temporary job (that spam cleaner job might not be bad). His email might also help.
Thanks.

Train yourself to control the release, the same way you control the release of your stool and urine. In a few weeks, you will be able to not fart in public and only in the bathroom. It will mean more frequent trips to the bathroom until your body adjusts. Then, pay attention to which foods cause your body to produce excess gas, and limit your consumption of the worst producers. Beans are the best known culprit, but don't rule out carbonated soft drinks.

rafhell: guy, if u got nothing good to say why not SHUT THE FUC.K UP!!!!!

you actually think i'm in support of his disastrous decision??
if you ever get close to the real world, you'll know that (if truely what he wrote is what he feels) you can not change his mind by mere advise (do your research and disprove me), you can either change his mind by saving him while carrying out the act or immediatrly after carrying out the act... you can't talk him out unless he SEEES AND FEELS what he's heading to... you should really learn to use the F-word in public places...

In case you feel like being so loose with your words again, you might want to wish you're in the poster's shoe.

BE REASONABLE, YOUNG MAN... DO YOU THINK BEGGING HIM WILL CAJOLE HIM FROM NOT THINKING ABOUT HIS MISERABLE 30 YEARS IF YOU'VE EVER HAD SOME ENGLISH LESSONS YOU'LL KNOW THAT WHAT I WROTE IS NOT TO YOU OR ANY OTHER READER AT ALL BUT DIRECTLY TO THE POSTER

Get him a good job that pays great now and see if he wont laugh over this thread on monday..

if you really love her then... you can,

1. Don't tell her you love again (i mean put the 'i love you' sentence on hold for now)... she will soon start missing it

2. Shy away from sex, try to always initiate her romantically (dunno go hard on urself, dont get dip into the romance thingy)... slight kisses will do..

3. Let her start feeling your presence (start treating her like it will be your last, you dont have to spend money to do this)

4. Start having real interest in her future (know what she wants and try helping her achieve it by contributing your quota, not money,)

5. know about her past and really understand what yhe went through (put yourself in her shoe)

6. treat her right (know how she feel before her opening her mouth [it's very easy] little psychology)

get away from her (abruptly) for like a week, dunno avoid her but get her busy and leave her to it. She'll miss you and really cry for you to be back... bring back the love topic back at this time... her reaction will suprise you... easier said than done sha...
Goodluck!!

k.. dunno feel like talkn bout the topic no more. many Germans here are atheist so... i do this like almost every day

Paying her off is not the deal at all... don't you guys know what it means to have 30%, that's a bunch

Don't you have a constitution?
I think things like should have been dealt with at the conception of the firm but in case you don't have that, talk with your lawyer (change your lawyer if you dont trust the one you're working with)
You have to deal with this real fast because if she doesnt kill the business, her share in physical cash will be appreciating and this will be very detrimental...

1. Try 'faking' reconcilliation (you play the dull while planning sharp). you really really need her cooporation either by free will or by force, treat her right (while working with your lawyer on reviewing your laws and constitution)

2. If she doesnt succumb freely, you have to blackmail her (this sounds harsh but that's business) she's blackmailing you at rhe moment with her power, you can black mail her by 'giving' her fault. you have to do this alone and as neatly' as possible.

3. You really need to get her out one way or the other. Threaten her 'indirectly'
DO NOT BEAT OR EVEN TOUCH HER AT ALL, START BEING 'OVERLY' FRIENDLY WITH HER, RESPECT HER MORE THAN EVER, ACKNOWLEDGE HER POWER, PROMISE HER FREEDOM (while planning your attack). DO NOT EVER EVER TOUCH HER OR EVEN ""SAY"" ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE HELD AGAINST YOU. SHE'S OBVIOUSLY NOT A FOOL TOO.

I feel what you face.

Goodluck!!

So far you're thinking of committing suicide, that's great... infact, Fantastic... you may just eish to read what i've gotten for you...
incase you wish not to change your mind, please, say me well to my great grannies and... oh... a friend of mine died recently... please, check him out for me... i dunno think he really made it to heaven, the two of you might probably be sharing a flat in hell... dunno forget to pagr me from hell too...

1. your life story is a real nollywood movie, don't you think... make some researches and or search for some contacts... you'll get people willing to buy your story...

2. There are sites that'll pay you for writing articles... you'll make some cool cash..

3. If you dunno mind, you might wish to go i to adult film, it'll pay you bunch...

4. Sell on ebay...
There are people willing to buy that your new Aba made sneakers you bought for 1500 naira at around €50..., you can sell beads too...

5. if you dunno mind relocating, working as a bus driver in another state might help...

6. Fashion designing might be very cool if you can ply your trade where you are not known..

7. and oh... you get money being gay, some spots are open in Abj..

Good Bye guy...
Try printing your Obituary posters now... it migjt encourage some other people to join you...
and oh...
are you poisoning yourself or trying the rope thingy
i'll advise the rope thingy coz of the adventure...
Adieu!!!


If you decide to choose any, just point it out and i'll be more than willing to expansiate and help.

Adieu once again.

@Martian
Sind Sie Deutscher? oder Nigeria in Deutschland geboren? oder einfach nur liebe die deutsche Art und Weise?
Ich lese Deutsch auf Ihrem Profil

velo10: This invention is pretty ill to me. how does a woman ever know she's going to get raped?

Rapex is made is South Africa by a South Africa and majorly for South Africans. South African woman has the highest reported incidence of rape, over 28% of men surveyed by South African Medical Research Council said they have at one time or the the raped a woman and some have also raped girls. South Africa is the highest (i stand to be corrected) HIV/ AIDS infested region in Africa. about 3 - 4 women have been raped at least ones in SA. so... i guess you now understand why they need it..

cheap slut, she's worth less than 5 box

it must have, this stuff is over 3 or 4 years

oluite: A 20 girl under this much pressure is certainly not thinking clearly and is bound to do something very stupid.Nothing good will ever come out from Stripping.Nothing good at all, in future you will regret this and even your younger ones will tell you they didn't send you to strip.Many young women have gone this path and many more will walk this path,you are not alone.There are some experience on this thread you can learn from if you want to support yourself and siblings.I know of a friend that left school for a year to do Oracle training in NIT on scholarship(when they use to give scholarship).Herself and her siblings suffered that year cos she was the one trying to make ends meet.Today she is doing so well that she is single handedly bring up 6 siblings.It is better to think of yourself alone you are not a parent than to consider stripping for your siblings welfare.

yeah... you're very right... i read a story of a 26yrs old lady with 26 abortions (i'm nt sure of d number bt it's alarming)...
she's got her womb cut and now regretting....

yamakuza: she appears to find a lot (not all) of the suggestions here unreal, impractical, difficult to understand and somewhat confusing.

She needs them broken down completely, as simple as possible. Step by step.

#Kind of like a How To guide.

some stuffs are better of experienced personally...,
from what i see, she wants a fast money. She probably wants to cater for an immediate need

metal detector (in case of iphone vs android, i just start scanning)

lie detector (when i start forming like an agent)

adownloader (where i get every damn thing, oh... i download anything)

PES (y'all think i can't play soccer? tey using adownloader to download this)

fingerprint scanner (Oh Jeez!!! i love android)

Skype (i call home like i'm on extra cool )

NFS (i'm like wtf, i'm Fn driving)

memo (i put my idea down every time)

inspirational quote (i know who said what at what time)

CNN Money (business tap )

Gold ( i follow the market)

Visual texting (you must just have this)

photonia ( works better than photo shop)

barcode scanner (my sixth sense)

e.t.c.
Android all the way

if they were doctors, they would have at least 6years xperience in the university, ... there would have been strong laws binding them, harsh forces against them... like over 600 of them being sacked at once and quacks would have been so few...

Good to know there are many good people ou there, i think the poster has already made up her mind...
Cheap easy money is cool but... hmmm......

@OP,
if you prefer being naughty, it's so so cool. you dunno have to be physical...
search the net, there are sites that will pay you over €100 per sex tape you upload... you can send to as many as 5 per week. There are some that'l pay you for pictures too...

I also heard that there are some agencies in Nigeria that will get you great deals on sex tape... i heard that some unical gurls r into it

Martian: That's no logical proof of anything.

You were born and that's just one of the random occurences that happen in nature. At the moment of your conception, your father could have stopped due to a random occurence which stopped the sexual activity and you wouldn't exist. Your existence is not a proof of god nor is it anything special.

Of course!!!
it's simply sensible... if your birth is not a proof of God's existence then... i know WHAT kind of person you are. (you definitely dunno see any future for youself or think/ expect anything as whatever you experience is just a random occurence)

@martian...as you are JUST A RANDOM OCCURRENCE, you can as well pause everything you've led till date so as to prepare for your death... as it can RANDOMLY OCCUR IN THE NEXT SECOND. I wish you well after life!!

190: ex's are meant to be found in the gutter

Thats where they belong!

Its a fact that most ex's in our past today were picked from the gutter
maybe except a few of them

so why worry if calling it quits wit them

U just helping yourself outta their miserable lives anyway

u dont just call of a relationship coz the gurl in question is worn. i broke up wif ma ex coz she relocated. Despite the fact that we're 'romantically offline', we still deal together professional and she'll ever be a very good friend...
what if that girl u have on ur profile dumps u in d gutter... imagine u're writing a script, what will ur rxn be...
celebrate...

@OP
i believe their's always a professional approach to everything, even in breaking up a relationship

[quote author=Mynd_44]Can someone please rewrite that? I cant read that jargons[/quote]This is derogatory and... mind you, i dunno think THAT can go with jargonS. concord??

[quote author=Mynd_44]Incase you have lost your sense of reasoning, I have not. The OP was trying to communicate and I did not get it because the language the OP choose is not clear to me. Should I IGNORANT JUMP on board or should I report back and ask for clarifications?
Please answer this English student[/quote]Instead of just acceptn the fact that you (probably unintentionally) crossed the line. you are fighting your way out of humiliation by humilitaing yourself the more i would have preferred 'IGNORANTLY JUMP' to 'IGNORANT JUMP' you shouldnt be so harsh over 'ink letters'. we are just here to learn n catch fun, not everyone has our background... some are even better,

so...plz, criticize constructively in ur next comment...

all said...
@OP
i'll also advise you to think about the tailoring stuff, very practical...
you can just start by customizing... i guess i have a creative approach....

Let's say you have a customer called 'xaurel'

1. get a friend who has a computer, use microsoft word or any other word processing software with varieties of font

2. pick out beautiful fonts for 'xaurel' to choose from

3. print the word 'xaurel' in whichever font she prefers and in a reasonable size..

4. cut it out

5. make a deal with a tailor around your school that can design the name out with threads... the deal should be around 10 to 50 naira per letter for the tailor (that's if you've not yet mastered the art).

be very creative, collect contracts, do your homework and give to tailors (you can collect around 100 naira per letter)... it might not be that easy but i think this will be good if nothing of such is yet to be done around you...
it might not be exactly like this but i geuss this should help. just be very creative.

You can also learn batik or batic (dunno) making, pick your best friends, tell them that they must buy your stuffs (make the best of the best for them), best publicity.
Goodluck!!!

yamakuza: hmmn! So u truly exist?

1. It will help if you can answer the questions raised in V's 7 point Agenda

2. Is there no way you can manage/endure this money bag? That seems the easiest way out. Other options might stress you and affect your studies without changing your financial situation. Just how unlovable is this man?

hmm... i prefer stripping to that kinda marriage..
if you have to be great in life, you need personal experiences so as to manage yourself when you eventually become the big boss.
you can only marry if you plan to kill the man after making enough, divorce him or just get rid of him so as to move on with your life.
you dont have to go for my advise but replan... plz, there are untapped wealth around you..
just look farther than 'normal' people.
i might be harsh but realistically harsh..
Goodluck!

2mch: It will be in your best interest not to contact or receive any help from anyone on NL. If they want to help you, they can give you details of a public contact or a known place. Be careful, dont fall prey to scammers or criminals. No offense v_official.

no offense at all man. i school in europe... so, i cant meet anyone and... use your discretion... dunno trust me as i dunno trust u.
shikena

[quote author=Mynd_44]Are you sure you are not gay already?[/quote]i am not