₦airaland Forum

[quote author=apatheticme post=87410047]I really feel for your son and you. It's not your fault u are caught in between caring for ur children and husband. However ur Son needs you now than ever. He may end up hating you eventually if you can't risk all for him right now.

It is heartbreaking right now but the truth is you have to take care of all your children. Get him to go to boarding house, and only come home during break. Maybe your husband will accept that option.

Meanwhile, pray, there's nothing prayers cannot achieve

God be with you

Thank you I have no ideas about how boarding school work , fees and how long for acceptance etc etc

Gernny:
If you love your son and don’t want to have regrets for not taking care of him,rent a small apartment even if it’s one room look for a guy that can stay with him,or better still take him to a boarding school you know u only have to worry during when he is on vacation and make sure u show him love take him out always explain things to him.That boy might be the bread winner for your entire generations to come.

Have already been paying rent for the house we are staying and why should I waste money again ? I have school fees and other bills to pay. my son should be with me , his father {my husband} and his siblings he doesn’t need to be living apart like an orphan when I’m alive and healthy

gwama:
Between my husband and my children, I chose my children, sister have you a kids from husband? If not yet, chose your kids and struggle for them.

Thanks my children come first too. I have a 2 years old daughter for him and am also pregnant

rali123:
Haaa, I am surprised with the kind of replies I see here, she is there mother for crying out loud, kids needs love, care and attention, they need to stay with there mother.

You got married too early op, you should have waited for them to grow older a bit or look for someone who will accept you for who you are...

You are right my dear I should have waited for my kids to grow. See when we first met he had all those sweets words that he loves them they are his he will treat them well etc etc and I taught it was God that send him to my life ooo if I knew it would be like this today i wouldn’t even wasted my time marrying him. Have a lots to say but Not everything is good to say on social media

LadySarah:
Read her post again. She knows them.she doesn't have their contact anymore. Kilode!

My dear I’m tired of explaining to them the same thing over and over again . It’s better I stop replying to comments lol

Isaac1980:
Something is not complete in this your story madam,,, you were married to your first husband without knowing his people, let me ask questions pls, when he got married to u didn't he come with his people to see your parents? U have two kids for him without know were he comes from, pls what I will advice u is that keep on praying and talking to your husband and God will touch his heart, pls stop saying u are 70% in charge and u even stop talking to him, that also show that u talk to him in an arogant way, pls talk to him in a loving way and he will see reason with u. God bless ur home

Thank you I know his people we weren’t married we only did introduction . I stayed with his people when he left for Italy I left the house when my daughter was 2 weeks old because his mother and sisters maltreated me

Badgers14:
Could you negotiate a truce with your husband.. bring your 12 years old son with you for a while, say 6 months.. give him a chance for a good life..

Then if he misbehaves then you know what to do...

Then as soon as your son arrives, start working on him and also an exit plan just in case, like a friend, or relatives while praying to God to straighten your son's character.. I think your son needs some love...

Aside: why does your son misbehave tho? Just curious..

He is misbehaving because they are threatening him bad, he misses me and want to be back with me. he wasn’t a bad boy when he used to stay with me that’s why I want him back with me so I can take care of him myself

franconian:
No, her son is the responsibility of both parents. She should channel some of her energy into getting in touch with the father, she had her first two kids for the same man 6 years apart, it can’t be true that she does not know his people.

I know his people and family house because I stayed with them when he left for Italy. I left the house when my daughter was 2 weeks because of the maltreatment I had received from his mother and sisters. I don’t know where you guys are getting all these informations about not knowing my children father house or people?

1StopRudeness:
The only to solve it is to forcefully bring him home.... ur husband can’t do anything....

Yes I will bring him on Sunday and let him
Do his worst. I cannot allow my son to suffer whyle I’m still alive and healthy

LadySarah:
So she should leave her child in danger because of marriage? You are still a child. The children is for both of us so what's the fuss.
Go and ask ur mother who comes first in her life.
The love for a husband is diff from that of children.

Thank you

[quote author=AroOkigbo post=87405311]Why did you accept his proposal? You should have said NO and live your life with your kids till they are mature.
But no, you wanted to answer Mrs.
#selfishwoman[/quote
Have accepted because He convinced me with his sweet words and actions at that time and I taught maybe God has answer my prayer and has sent me a man that truly loves me and my children like his own that my marriage will be joyful but no I was wrong and regretting now. I’m ready to leave the marriage for my children sake

Lifecanbeamazin:
My sister! Who do you see being there for you many years down the line? This man or your son? God forbid, you have medical problems, this type of man will not be there for you . Don't fail this boy, you're all he has!

My son will always come first

oodua1stson:
if your hubby had 2 kids outside will you allow him to bring them both in? You single mothers want to be accepted but you treat your stepchildren like animals. Your son has gone rogue and he did right by not allowing him near his own children. If he pain you divorce him

It’s not by force to marry a man or woman with kids . They are single men and women out there Na why did he not go after them ? I was with my children I didn’t call him to come and ask for my hand in marriage if he knew he wasn’t ready to be a father to my children then he wouldn’t come with fake promises that he loves them and they are his children he will take care of them like his own

eallstar:
Italy? Don't worry ur God will fight for you
Corona virus will soon send him back to his home town.
Same Italy corona virus send Ronaldo back to his home town.

Amen ooo

Pemivy01:
Dear OP I am also a mother like you and I can tell you with all sincerity that your son is your responsibility and therefore must stay with you.
These children have been given to you by God to nurture and train in the right direction, if you fail in your duty as a parent God will judge you, But if you train them in the right way God will bless you.
And please I beg you don't put the boy in a boarding school, most of the problems we have with the youths today started from some of these boarding schools.
Take your son with you, he is your own and that is the most important thing.

Thank you my sister am going to pick him up on Sunday

franconian:
Though I don’t believe your OP (because it’s near impossible for a woman to get pregnant twice and not know people who are very close to the man), but if your story is true and you eventually resorted to divorce, I’ll advice you abort the pregnancy if it’s still safe to do that. Don’t allow another baby suffer single parenting.

Please go through all my replies to my post you will get the answer to your question because I don’t want to keep repeating the same thing over and over again. I’m 6 months pregnant even if the pregnancy was 2 weeks I will never abort my child I have done it before with my 2 children and will be fine with 4 because even now That im married I still see myself as a single mother there’s no different from before and now

EJanni:
Pls, go and take that boy back. guard and guide him proper. Don't be so selfish to bring an innocent boy in this world and suffer him. He is innocent of all the bullshit going on between you and your Ex.
Think in the end your current husband may live you but that child will stick to you forever. He will never forget your sacrifices.
You're a mother pls act accordingly.
Remember what you suffered during pregnancy and labour. That child needs you now than ever.

Thank you I am going to pick him on Sunday

Blackdeewhy:
Give him up for adoption.
Don't take this in a wrong way, there are still GOOD FAMILIES, that:
1. Don't have kids YET;
2. Their children has traveled out/ all married;
3. Those who want big families etc... They are in our society and you can find one.

Wait when yours start coming then you can give them up for adoption because you think it’s a easy thing to do

SenecaTheYonger:
Does he at least go to school over there?

Yes he used to go to school ever since he stole my brother has stopped him and he has being staying at home for almost 3 weeks now. My brother is waiting for me to come and pick him up and he has given me till next week to come collect him. That’s why I am going to pick him up this Sunday

Sunnyb10:
Madam i understand your worries, i think you should keep begging your husband, at thesame time put him in boarding school by so doing he won't be around much, only during holidays. I think your husband is scared of his stealing habit of which you have to assure him that he won't do such a thing in his house. may God help you. but don't break your marriage for your boy as some nairalanders are suggesting.

I am ready to do anything for my children even ready to loose my marriage for my son sake. I even regrets marrying him . A man who came with all those sweets words I love you and your children they are my children I will take care of them better than their deadbeat dad. Now he doesn’t want my son he is saying he should stay with my brother or go to his father family forgetting everything sweet he has said when we were courting

oglalasioux:
You are a good woman. Put it to your husband that you must rescue this child of yours. If he doesn't accept leave him. Believe me you'll have rest of mind forever. But if you leave that boy on his own, you'll live to regret it. Be strong on your decision to give to this boy a life.

Thanks you so much I really appreciate your advice . You are a true man

Mymynd4u:
If he wunt agree. You have two options


Take him to his father or father family


Or go and stay on your own, don't depend on ur husband again

Thanks I rather stay on my own with my children

SenecaTheYonger:
How do 0you beat someone then they start stealing or were they stealing and because of that they started beating him? because it is not easy to live with a thief.

My son wasn’t a thief when he was staying with me he used to eat 3 square meals but in my brother he doesn’t eat like that , the wife always deprived him of foods and the boy had not other choice than to go and steel which is was a wrong step. That’s why I want him back with me because when he is here he will eat and won’t have any bad ideas about steeling

Lifecanbeamazin:
My sister! Who do you see being there for you many years down the line? This man or your son? A man who does not love my child does not love me.

My son

LTRAVIS:
Lol...you got married to someone and you don't know their family house....are you sure you even married that person

I know his people and his family house because I lived with them when he left the country

omoharry:
Does he not have a father? where is the father of your children?

H lives in Italy

Acidosis:
Appeal to your husband's conscience. Most of the time, our manner of approach is what makes the difference. If he could marry you against all odds and public sentiments, this one wouldn't be too much to do. A man can be insecure over some s!!ly and petty reasons. Re-assure him about your love for him and don't make this all about "my son, my this and that". Your approach might consistently remind me of your ex in Italy. You may have given the notion you haven't gotten over your ex.

To correct that, continue to appeal. Make him understand that your son needs him too, a good father figure, to turn a new leaf. Give him the full sense of responsibility. It's not as difficult as it seems but your approach can ruin it all. At the end of the day, you can enrol the boy in a good boarding school after a year or two [staying with you for a while before sending him out again is necessary].

As per footing 70% of the bills, is this an arrangement agreed upon by both parties or your husband is just self-centred, stingy or not doing so well at his job?

He is very stingy man

worworbabe:
So you mean that the family has more right to the Child than his own Mother?

The best person to care for a child is his own Mother. She is not dead, why would she move him to relatives who would end up maltreating him? How many people even want to take another person's child in at this time and age? If you are thinking about the wellbeing of this child, you won't have this thought.

Thank you very much

Tallesty1:
So if anything happens, you will leave with the kids you have for this man? Why do you like accumulating kids?

Yes I will leave with all my children because they will be better with me than any one else

Oyindidi:
Please take it easy on yourself, their is solution to everything we go through. Right now your focus should be on yourself and the unborn child.

Thank you my dear

My husband doesn’t want my son to come and stay with us. I’m pregnant and depressed

OceanOfJoy:
Go get your son and bring him home. He needs your love, care and attention.

Thanks am going to pick him up on Sunday