Tallesty1

All your little boy needs Is love ,care and good counselling . Please bring him home not minding the husbandman wailings for no one can take care of a child more than the mom. He will be of great help to you.

You all will adjust well with time. Safe and swift delivery to you. Peace to your home.

Vyvyanvyvy:

Thanks am going to pick him up on Sunday

Pls do

Vyvyanvyvy:

He treats her very nice they are best friend , she is free with him and like him a lot. Financially he doesn’t buy anything for her but their relationship is perfectly fine

Lawd have mercy

Appeal to your husband's conscience. Most of the time, our manner of approach is what makes the difference. If he could marry you against all odds and public sentiments, this one wouldn't be too much to do. A man can be insecure over some s!!ly and petty reasons. Re-assure him about your love for him and don't make this all about "my son, my this and that". Your approach might consistently remind me of your ex in Italy. You may have given the notion you haven't gotten over your ex.

To correct that, continue to appeal. Make him understand that your son needs him too, a good father figure, to turn a new leaf. Give him the full sense of responsibility. It's not as difficult as it seems but your approach can ruin it all. At the end of the day, you can enrol the boy in a good boarding school after a year or two [staying with you for a while before sending him out again is necessary].

As per footing 70% of the bills, is this an arrangement agreed upon by both parties or your husband is just self-centred, stingy or not doing so well at his job?

Oyindidi:
Tallesty1

Lols.


You for just allow me to read and disappear usual without forming an opinion.


You see this issue of single moms and their husbands, it is always very complicated and women are usually pitied as if the men are evil.

Nobody sees things from the man's perspective.

I mean why should a woman in her normal senses have two kids for a man she isn't married to?

A child is acceptable, shits happen but two kids for a man you don't know his family house or any of his relations? The OP is not telling us the whole truth.

Or maybe the kids are from different fathers? That is even worse, it is terrible.

See eeh, raising this children is not the issue, the real problem is what will happen when their real father shows up.


It is clear from the write up that they were together until the man traveled to Italy, so they really didn't break up. Should the man come back tomorrow and give good reasons for no communication and ask the OP to come back to him, chances are she would accept, or at least give him his kids.


What then happens to the current husband? He will be left with nothing like Aaron.

This is why I say that if at all anything should join me with a single mom it will be on a condition that I will adopt the kid as mine and yes she must get the consent of the father.

No hating here.

I spent the best part of my childhood days under the care of a single mom that is married to a single father. Experience is the best teacher.

Okay here is another thing.

The lady here claims to be financially okay, in fact she claims to be responsible for 70% of the family expenses but the reason she can't be with her son is a bigger apartment.

You boast of being a giant financially but you live in a self con with your husband and two kids with a third around the corner.

The man was okay with the child living with them until he started stealing, so why didn't she rent a bigger apartment since she's okay financially?



Abeg make I leave matter for Mathias.



How are you doing my dear? It has really been a long time

cococandy:


Oh simple.

He’s not ready to treat the child she had with another man as his own flesh and blood.

Isn’t that the very easy expectation y’all have when it comes to step moms?

Go ask step kids their experience with step moms. It is a good way to start.


And no woman comes to take the step kid away from the woman. They stay in the house because that is where they actually belongs

Not trying to make excuses for the man but these cases are different

This story is serving as an equaliser to the previous story of 2days ago. The writers of these wonderful fake stories are exposing our laughable and one-sided hypocritic advises.

This is the troll season. Enjoy it while it last.

Vyvyanvyvy:

You want me to take my child to the orphanage whyle I’m still alive and in good health? You must be joking . I rather be a single mother and suffer with my 4 children than rejecting my son.

So if anything happens, you will leave with the kids you have for this man? Why do you like accumulating kids?

movement2020:


Anybody.. Check the meaning. The boy still has a father but the wife has lost contact. So, giving the boy to the father's siblings is termed anyone. What about if the father is late and the family decides to take the boy so as to see their late child's face.

Your use of words if really wrong.

So you mean that the family has more right to the Child than his own Mother?

The best person to care for a child is his own Mother. She is not dead, why would she move him to relatives who would end up maltreating him? How many people even want to take another person's child in at this time and age? If you are thinking about the wellbeing of this child, you won't have this thought.

Tallesty1:
So if anything happens, you will leave with the kids you have for this man? Why do you like accumulating kids?

Yes I will leave with all my children because they will be better with me than any one else

worworbabe:



So you mean that the family has more right to the Child than his own Mother?

The best person to care for a child is his own Mother. She is not dead, why would she move him to relatives who would end up maltreating him? How many people even want to take another person's child in at this time and age? If you are thinking about the wellbeing of this child, you won't have this thought.

Thank you very much

Vyvyanvyvy:

Yes I will leave with all my children because they will be better with me than any one else

Best of luck

TheArchangel:
This story is serving as an equaliser to the previous story of 2days ago. The writers of these wonderful fake stories are exposing our laughable and one-sided hypocritic advises.

This is the troll season. Enjoy it while it last.

What did I miss?

Tallesty1:
What did I miss?

The OP is even a new moniker.

worworbabe:



So you mean that the family has more right to the Child than his own Mother?

The best person to care for a child is his own Mother. She is not dead, why would she move him to relatives who would end up maltreating him? How many people even want to take another person's child in at this time and age? If you are thinking about the wellbeing of this child, you won't have this thought.

See, I work in a social welfare department and this is not new to me. We try as much as possible to mediate and see if there would be reconciliation or M. O. U, if not, the court decision is the final.

The reason why we (friends, relatives, couples themselves) need to ensure couples stay together because in advent of any separation or divorce, the children will always bear the brunt.

At this stage, the boy can stay with either of the parents except the court says otherwise.

Tallesty1:
What did I miss?

https://www.nairaland.com/5728674/decision-right-wrong

The single father and wife story wahala
48hours later,
The single mother and husband story wahala.

Someone wants to keep me busy arguing over fake stories.

TheArchangel:

https://www.nairaland.com/5728674/decision-right-wrong

The single father and wife story wahala
48hours later,
The single mother and husband story wahala.

Someone wants to keep me busy arguing over fake stories.

Sis don't doubt that stories like this happens. Agreed that there are some mischievous peeps who cook up fake stories to attract traffic. This particular link you posted has some elements of genuineness in it.

TheArchangel:

https://www.nairaland.com/5728674/decision-right-wrong

The single father and wife story wahala
48hours later,
The single mother and husband story wahala.

Someone wants to keep me busy arguing over fake stories.

So it's a friendly match after all. Mtchewww.



No wonder there are so many loopholes in this one.

bukatyne:

The OP is even a new moniker.

A new person with a big problem.


It's a counter thread

Oyindidi:
Lol, men hate independent women see as e dey pain you

Would you allow your own son marry an "after 2" ... Independence kwa? Even those who don't have kids are praying for good husbands. Accepting to wife a single mother is a very tough decision for any man... Don't bring that independence talk here... She for stay single na.

Vyvyanvyvy:

I foot 70% of the bills , I pay my daughter school fee including my first child with my husband I pay half of her school fee ,all my son need is a place to stay, my husband won’t be the one paying his school fee

Does he not have a father? where is the father of your children?

Vyvyanvyvy:

He is not in Nigeria

Since you are doing well get a visa for him and send him to his father.

relative
noun
1.
a person connected by blood or marriage.

Her husband is her number one and closest relative

Davash222:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.

janvier27:
Your son is not a thief. He's a small child who found himself in an unfortunate situation, and he'll surely get over it. He needs love and attention. It's difficult not to place blames. I think you should have allowed those kids to get older before marriage. Your elder brother has failed you. So also your husband. Keep appealing to your husband or take a break off to live with your kids and show them love so that they can grow properly. Marriage is not all about keeping a woman at home and raising biological children from her.

Take a break off indeed I beg to differ

Bro are you intimidated by her independence

Davash222:

Na you and your miss independent dey pain me with una entitlement mentality.

Vyvyanvyvy:

He is not in Nigeria

Will you dump your current husband, when the one in abroad returns home...comes begging and willing to buy the Earth for you to win you back??


It's an innocuous question. I hope you answer truthfully.

Do that with points

Uniquekriss:


Take a break off indeed I beg to differ

Vyvyanvyvy:

I foot 70% of the bills , I pay my daughter school fee including my first child with my husband I pay half of her school fee ,all my son need is a place to stay, my husband won’t be the one paying his school fee

I feel he should reconsider his stance since you discussed it with him before marriage. But don't force him. Continue to plead.

Richy4:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.



Haba!! U are acting as if he was doing her a favor by marrying her.. That mentality is so rustic in my opinion

Na favor he dey do her oo.

If not, she should leave him

take the boy to her father

Vyvyanvyvy:
I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.

Divorce is always an option...... Then, you can have all your children with you..........

This your reply carry Coronavirus. Be careful.

Shifi1:
take him to his father na