₦airaland Forum

bamboke: My marriage to my hubby is a year now. I am yoruba while he is ibo. He lost his job while we were preparing for our wedding and we are trying to put together a business. We live near his family and had to feed them most times which was not easy. My dad died and we were not put to shame on needs.

His family always behave that he owes them for their upkeep and they all do nothing. They didn't come for my dad's burial and will still come to feed at my house with tipped up noses.

Recently, his brother who has no regard for me came and I didn't bother with him as he doesn't greet him. His family stopped coming to our home and his mum too.

Do I have to be concerned about this? They want me to be visiting their home but I don't like that even if we live near. Advise me as I don't know if this is peculiar to being married to people from other tribes who their families won't give them space?

what kind of silly joke is this? If your in laws come around, you complain; if they eat in your house, you tell the whole nairaland that you're now the one feeding them. They stopped coming and you're here complaining.
What stopped you from visiting them since you want to tell us you're blameless. So sorry for you cos you're starting what you can't finish.

Omoba.com:
Hey.. Don't b a silly/HATER. The day u have d opptnity to feel outside, You wont call nija Home. A home is your confort place, your habitat.In other words, Canada is their Home not Nija. Try feel ouside nija so you will be exposed nd free the mental slavery of nija politicians.

are you for real? You just exposed your naivety. I bet you when you grow older your story 'll change.

tosrich: You guys dont know anything yet, Ondo has one of the poorest Orientation camp in Nigeria.. You will only know untill you get there. that was where I wa posted in this years batch B before I stoped service to relocate to AMERICA...... Just have enough cash because the food they will give you Guys is second to poison, its just an hint and not to discourage you guys.......

The only thing I deduced from this ur ranting is that you're highly unpatriotic.

Biafran blood being avenged, more to go

This man wants to confuse me; one question pls: did boko haram name Buhari of the dogs and baboons fame as their chief negotiating officer? Yes or No

OP, STOP SPREADING LIES

Guitarlife: Hi everybody. Hi cotton. I am now a peace ambassador so no 'abusive ' statements. I call on all other parties to sheath their swords especially coogar and that skew guy.
A man who had spent months cooking for his wife while dating can suddenly wake up one november morning and turn his wife to a punching bag.
Davidlan said it and debriefs husband proved it. Case closed.

ha ha ha. Lol, never knew a coin has only one side; only on nairaland

Ihedinobi: Honestly, this approach is getting tiresome. I don't know if you guys bothered to read through the thread at all. You appear to have just jumped straight into multiplying posts. It's already been dealt with what the possible causes of abuse were.

To reiterate,

1. failing to see and appreciate the warning signs of a potential abuser before marrying them;

2. not knowing what one's correct self-worth is;

3. starting the abuse oneself

among others that I'm sure you'll sift out reading through the thread.

Now you know some of the causes, can you help with the solutions?

We are yet to read/discuss the roles played by the 'abused' cos there is no smoke without fire. Pls don't tell they don't have a share in the blame.

Ihedinobi: Meh, no be say na talk, some people get serious issues o.

Anyhow, I'm really interested to hear any solution to abuse other than divorce. What else can a victim of abuse do to beat abuse? Any taker?

No! It's better we start with the remote and immediate causes of the abuse. You don't tell me the 'angel' you got married to just suddenly turned to a beast without no just cause. One way or the other the 'abused' equally contributed to the failure of the marriage unless we all choose not to tell ourselves the basic truth.

BlueDiva: Curiosity got the better of me and i went through the posts of durothrash.
You are just a kid, spend your time wisely and build a decent life. I'm way out of your league.

Now let me school your dumb asss.



If a person claims his/her partner has changed and become a beast, first question to ask is why?
If he/she was a beast in the first instance then there wouldn't be a marriage in the first place.

If a good man/woman becomes bad, please do a serious soul search.
What went wrong? Could it be something I'm doing/not doing?

A nagging wife should expect resentment from her husband and ultimately, negative attitude.
A drunkard of a husband and a wife beater doesn't expect to still have a loving woman as a wife.

Now, if the man/woman is perfect and the spouse just changes for no reason (very unlikely) then it is unfortunate.
Blame your bad luck for marrying a devil and don't come whining on cyberspace.

A partner in an unhappy marriage has a choice of leaving or to stick in there.
Either way it is your cross. Coming online to claim Mr or Mrs Perfect married to a devil is disgusting.

You were not blind neither did you marry at gun point.

Go for counseling, therapy or whatever can help your solve your problems.
Coming to nairaland to seek advice from unmarried single mums like durothrash who still daydreams about the boy next door is hilarious and silly.

God bless you for this observation. It's so annoying for people to come online to paint their partners as devils while never acknowledging their own faults and the roles the played in the whole saga. I can't still fathom out how some people's 'angels' turned out to be beasts without no cause. It only takes a discerning mind to ask questions.

I'll go with Ify on this; no matter how you luv your spouse, some things are better left unsaid

Ihedinobi: I'd actually been taking the guy seriously. Until I figured him out. Seems he just likes to be witty and say something that sets him noticeably apart. What kind of freak rides on people's real pain to cheap popularity?

Read it all. Bro, i think you just described yourself. I understand you're still a very young man maybe, with time, experience 'll make you to have a balanced opinion. Bye

acidtalk: Abeg go and sidoon.
Na today?
Didn't OBJ do more than this?
Where is the money allocated to the Ministry of works for the rehabilitation of roads across the federation.
Jonathan has passed 2 budgets so far and the ministry of works got theirs, what changes have we seen?
The ministry of power, Transport, housing, environment and others. Point the one ministry that has PERFORMED in this government.

They sure won't perform because their oga pata-pata is a nonperformer.

What damn and bridges are you ralking about? See don't let us derail your thread to turn it to an History class.

Jonathan and his sick government can deceive others definistely not people like us that keep history.

pls, don't let me e-slap you this morning with this rubbish you just posted

Anvaller: [b]The op's argument and ur own corroboration are both invalid as far as reality is concerned. A blue collar job in the U.S for example will pay u wages with which u can leave a reasonable life. What are u guys saying? Do u want to tell me that most jobless university graduates in Nigeria of today would turn down a labor job in a factory for example if the same would earn them 80k at the end of the month?

U are asking a university graduate (if I get u right) to be happy and contented with a brick layer job that will pay him 1k/day which is equal to 20k in a month if he works 5 days a week? he would spend from the same meager earning for his transport to and fro the construction site. He would probably be left with some 12k at the end of the month after working the whole month in the scorching sun, carrying heavy loads, (no rules such as max weight to be carried, no protective gears, no insurance against any hazards, etc) and at the end of it all, he would have several illiterate colleagues that can not add any value to him because his reasoning and their reasoning can never fall within the same scope. That alone is degrading and frustrating. U better think very well about issues before u begin to blame ppl. I am a "been there done that guy" I can tell u how it is from both worlds.[/b]

pls stop saying what you don't know. An average bricklayer in nigeria earns 18k per week; tell me, how much does most of our graduates earn in a month?

k2039: Accept you ex back for what ever reason you like,but understand that accepting her back will give her the impression of the greatest fool on earth.


A fool that takes that type of ex will always be a fool for life.

For even delibrating whether to take her back,you are a fool.

Yeah! A big fool

haka_nai: ^^^ you mean Igbos like you abi and not the world.

I can understand you reason with your anus and you 'll remain ignored by me.

Really! Thank you sir for letting the world know your names are 'Ignoramus Yakubu Gowon. Tis now obvious that common sense is not really common. Anyway, do i need to say more; once an aboki, always an aboki.

ITbomb: See this man o, Wetin u get , u no know say kidnappers get choice for kidnappee. Na ur type dem dey waste money buy food for but u no get anybody to come pay ur ransom

Abeg, mind your business; na you dey give am money wey him dey take travel?
@ op, thanks for the info.

Idokojimmy: You just misfired. TINUBU is only saying whatever i have put in place can never be compared to the litanies of achievements recorded by Awolowo. This is a very humble and sincere assessment from the new generation thief.

keep quite! I know what i'm talking about.

If na you nko? The man take style dissociate himself from the 'shoes' of a murderer. Hear him and I quote 'I WILL NOT WANT AWOLOWO'S SHOES'. Who really wants the shoes of a murderer after that expose by Chinua Achebe.

Na lie! This pathologist must be a pathological liar.

Another useless thread by someone that doesn't want to see or hear anything good about Nigeria cos their fellow fanatic is not in power.

eledalo: And you can't even spell 'dumb'. Looks like you are dumber than your uncle.

lol

@ op, i read what you wrote and i have only one response for you; you're a fool

Tosman12: Why is this man like this?
I actually expect him to atleast from this budget show that power will improve and there is virtually no need for heavy budget on gen,fueling and mentance.
Obviously no plan for improvement in the power sector. This fish cabinet should be looking for a way to remove this from the budget by improving steady power....
In directly telling nigerians that if u've got no generator beta go get i pass ma neighbor.
God help us oooo

did you read or understand the budget at all? Tis so funny reading some of you guys comments cos they are borne out of ignorance

Eko Ile: How many silly topics do you need to discuss the same dumb rubbish? Where are the mods when you need them?

seems the truth is gradually staring you in the face and you're getting uncomfortable.

Red-Light:
how many of this threads are u people gonna open? seriously its getting boring already

No! It's not getting boring rather it seems you're not comfortable with the truth. In as much as his family and followers keep living in denial, are not remorseful; then, how do you expect the healing process to start. Tis obvious you don't know what it is to watch your loved ones and other innocent children die of what they know nothing about and the war criminals telling it to your face that they did it and nothing 'll happen. The truth hurts and according to history and in the hearts of God fearing peoples, Awolowo remains a mass murderer.

Druss: Where from? I have never bought for above 97.5 naira in Lagos.

most filling stations in lagos sell pms btw 110-120 unless you don't really live in lagos

romi: To think i had to set a reminder since yesterday to wake up early and listen to GEJ's national address as i thot he wanted to assert his authority about the numerous Security concerns affecting the Nation only for him to waste 10minutes of my precious time announcing how DANGOTE(chairman), ADENUGA (vice), GOVERNORS, E.T.C and Him... Are going to share BILLIONS OF NAIRA all in the name of setting up FLOOD COMMITTEE, Haba Why!!!! SMH

just imagine this nonentity saying the president wasted his jobless time. You better go look for work; jobless fool.

PROUD-IGBO:
^^^Your stand on issues pertaining to Ndigbo makes your claim of being an Igbo son highly suspect.

We can all -with the benefit of hindsight- fault Ojukwus' moves before and during the civil war; but you fail to understand that any mistakes you ascribe to Ikemba (like a monday morning football critic that has the luxury of hindsight) were mistakes made in the heat of the fast-paced moment (when Ndigbo were being slaughtered in their tens of thousands like sallah rams.....with no protection from the federal gov't who felt they were getting their just desserts, since a couple of Igbo officers were among coupists that killed their leaders), and not borne out of malevolence; unlike with the case of Awo and Adekunle for instance; these were two of a kind....cut from the same cloth....and with an intense loathing for anything 'Igbo' as can be seen in their 'shoot at anything that moves' and 'all's fair in war' statements, forgetting that non-combatants (women and children) were casualties.....this collateral damage was acceptable in their eyes since they didn't see Igbos as humans (never mind- their kith and kin); after trying to fight Biafra for the better part of two years and not making any headway, they then resorted to every dirty/evil trick in the book to win the war, as it seemed 'conventional' tactics (even with outside help) was getting them nowhere....hence the blockade and ceding of Bakassi to Cameroun for them to block their own flank of the border; so this yarn of bringing in the 'blockade' policy b'cos Awo loved Igbos and wanted the war to end as quickly and as painlessly as possible is nothing short of laughable, as it was only thought of when they couldn't break Biafras' resolve through conventional war; and i've read heartless/inhumane arguments that we're not expected to feed our enemy' (not minding that this line of thinking would affect women and children you have no beef with).....but this only goes to strengthen my argument that Awo/Gowon were not concerned about such 'trivial humane' issues, but rather were more concerned with 'winning' the war at any cost.....we now see the wonderful/working/equitable/just Nigeria they have fought to bring the old Eastern region back into, and the kind of future they have bequethed to their children and unborn generations (not seeing the bigger picture b'cos of your hatred for a people?)

Bearing the above in mind, can you refer me to any past postings of yours where you go at Awo and Adekunle with the same amount of bile and venom you've used to go at Ikemba?

I didn't bother reading you initial post on this thread as i'm not really interested in all this back and forth between Igbos' and Yorubas' since excepts of Achebes' book were made public.....i don't believe they serve any purpose, esp' on a site like this where there are many immature twerps making daft ethnocentric based arguments; but i wanted to respond to you since you claim to be Igbo.

You've said it all bro.