₦airaland Forum

Australian writer and theologian, Ben Myers, started tweeting summaries of each book of the Bible. What emerged was ‘the world’s smallest’ Bible commentary. It’s poetic, informative and refreshing. Enjoy…


Old Testament



Genesis
Under numberless stars an old man stands amazed; his wife cries out in the pain of childbirth, laughing.

Exodus
Barefoot on the hot sand, he stares into the flame and haggles with a god whose name he cannot say.

Leviticus
At the mountain they wait in love and terror, while holy words pass through them like a sword.

Numbers
Count the murmuring tribes, count their slain, count the wandering long years.

Deuteronomy
I love you, I love you. Not because you are so good or great, but because you are so lost and little.

Joshua
In the walled city a prostitute undresses to the music of trumpets and the sound of many feet.

Judges
As soothing as a therapist, she runs her fingers through his hair and says, "Now lie back and tell me everything."

Ruth
He wakes in the night to find a woman, a foreigner, touching his feet. He rubs his eyes. He had been dreaming of kings.

1 Samuel
Grief + God = Samuel
Israel - Eli + Samuel = Monarchy
Monarchy - Saul = David
David - Jonathan = 0

2 Samuel
Victory! A riot of joy! The victor covers his face: O Absalom, my son, my son.

1 Kings
So, you really want a monarchy huh? Don't say I didn't warn you.

2 Kings
I told you so.

1 Chronicles
And behold, in those days all the begetting was done by the menfolk.

2 Chronicles
If we build it, he will come.

Ezra
When we saw the Temple we thought we must be dreaming, or that all our lives had been a dream from which we had awoken.

Nehemiah
When he read the scroll it was as if, after a long dementia, I remembered my name and wept to hear it spoken.

Esther
The orphan queen is glorious at her feast. In her glittering eyes are sex and armies.

Job
He scrapes himself with broken pots, cursing his mother's womb. In the distance, Leviathan circles silently in the deep.

Psalms
The invention of antiphony: when my heart broke in two, I taught both parts to sing.

Proverbs
What a fabulous woman! I'll marry her! (She left her fingerprints all over me.)

Ecclesiastes
Life is an empty sink. Someone has pulled the plug and all the meaning has drained out of it. So enjoy yourself!

Song of Songs
With the turtledove singing above them in the apple tree, the lovers took off their clothes and made beautiful poems together.

Isaiah
When the four corners of creation are picked up like a tablecloth, all the crumbs will slide into the middle, into Zion.

Jeremiah
The Word is at the bottom of the well, burning like a naked flame in the mouth of the weeping prophet.

Lamentations
A Bear Crouches. Destruction Envelops. Flee God's Holy Implacable Judgment! Killed! Lament! Mourn Nakedly! O Pray!

Ezekiel
Four flashing creatures, four wheels rimmed with eyes, one scroll, one Spirit, one Temple, one million creeping bones.

Daniel
I pray (each day) towards the city of the Son of Man; to him all kings (all things) shall bend like grass in the wind.

Hosea
She has given birth. Another son! Tenderly her humiliated husband gathers the little prophecy into his arms.

Joel
Through the cracks in our broken hearts the grasshoppers have come swarming in.

Amos
Hallelujah! The Lord is here! Run for your lives!

Obadiah
I made you as numerous as the stars. Watch now while I rub out every star and wrap the world in darkness.

Jonah
When the prophet disobeys, even the fish of the sea are against him. When Nineveh repents, even the animals fast and pray.

Micah
We call you a minor prophet. But you are mountains rising behind mountains; all the world's wealth is minor next to you.

Nahum
Grinning from ear to ear, he sings a lament for the fall of Nineveh.

Habakkuk
He sings of joy in God's salvation, his face wet with indignant tears.

Zephaniah
Cry out with horror, for I will sweep you from the earth. Cry out with joy, for I will sweep you into my arms.

Haggai
After the return from exile, the prophets spoke in prose. It took captivity to wring the poetry from their souls.

Zechariah
If only you could have lived to see the day he read your scroll, and loved it, and told his friends to fetch a donkey.

Malachi
You've got a new temple; now get new hearts to go with it, before the temple's Lord appears and turns the tables on you.





New Testament


Matthew
We thought his teaching was a mirror of God's Law, but we were wrong. The Law is the mirror, reflecting him.

Mark
Just as we were killing him, God whispered a secret. No one heard except the soldier who raised his bloodied hands in awe.

Luke
After careful research I have prepared an objective scholarly account of what happened. It all began with an angel...

John
Because we could not find the way to God, he used a spear to open a door in his side, and said, "Look, I am the way!"

Acts
Proof of the resurrection: the powers of this world submit to a handkerchief on which an apostle has blown his nose.

Romans
Adam lost it, Christ found it, the Spirit gives it, faith holds it, creation yearns for it, death yields to it.

1 Corinthians
When the last trump sounded we didn't hear it. We were too busy arguing and bragging about our spirituality.

2 Corinthians
O how I love you, you darling scalawags, you dear sweet blockheaded scoundrels, you infuriating puppies!

Galatians
We felt insecure without our chains so we hired experts to repair them. Then Paul came back, wielding a sledgehammer.

Ephesians
When the human race had split apart, God (who loves to renovate) took wood and nails and fastened it back together.

Philippians
Even in chains, Paul is freer than wild horses. Even in prison, his joy is boundless as the skies.

Colossians
God assembled all the pieces of the universe as one huge jigsaw puzzle, a perfect picture of Christ.

1 Thessalonians
In Christ there is no night but only one eternal morning in which the living and the dead awake and embrace.

2 Thessalonians
When I told you, brothers, that he's coming back soon, what I really meant was soonish.

1 Timothy
Dear Paul, Thanks for your letter & for all the advice. The part about wine: ok! The part about women: huh? Yours, Tim.

2 Timothy
The dying apostle writes his will: "To my dear son Timothy I leave all that I possess: my gospel and these chains."

Titus
Don't adapt the gospel to your life. Adapt your life to the pattern of the gospel.

Philemon
Then one day, for the first time in history, a slave and his master cried out in stunned recognition: "Brother!"

Hebrews
Look in the mirror to see the face; follow a shadow to find the thing; wade through blood to a place where bloodshed ceases.

James
Faith is a picture taken by the beggar at your door, not a selfie.

1 Peter
In the midst of a strange land all the strangers assembled in one place, and called it Home.

2 Peter
"Paul's letters are hard to understand": the calm judgment of a pseudonymous letter full of riddles and obscurities.

1 John
Love is the order of things; hatred is rebellion against reality.

2 John
Pure spiritual love is a delusion. Love has come among us in the flesh. It's with our bodies that we walk in love's way.

3 John
Oh my dear friend, I need to see you face to face to tell you what love means. Love can't be sent by mail.

Jude
If ever the world is burned to ashes in a nuclear holocaust, let the last human being recite the epistle of Jude, and die.

Revelation
When she finally arrived at the wedding, she kissed him and said, "Sorry I'm late. The traffic was hell."


I hope you enjoyed that. Happy sunday and God bless you.

lalasticlala

Source: https://www.biblesociety.org.uk/explore-the-bible/articles-about-the-bible/a-bible-commentary-fit-for-twitter/

lalasticlala:
U don't like putting direct link source to your articles.

I've corrected that on this thread. I try to post the names of the people whose intellectual materials i refer to. I'll try to correct other threads too by posting a direct link to their sources. Thank you Sir.

Great thread.

Docjay487:
Many more users, Posts keep recycling...replies also recycling... NL has changed though.

@op if you really mean that as a question (I mean like an answer can matter at all) and not an atheism evangelism to church people finding this section interesting... check out
apologeticspress.com. More goodies there.

Godandscience.org is also great. You can check out some of my threads.

lepasharon:
Praise master Jesus!

Halleluyah!!

Ranchhoddas:
Go church.

Yes, I dey go. I'm happy to go worship God. I'm creating a thread soon later in the day. I hope you will be present to react to it.

CAPSLOCKED:

HOW OLD ARE YOU, 85?

ITS DISAPPOINTING HOW YOU'VE SPENT THE LAST 85 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE IN THE FOOLISHNESS CALLED RELIGION!

Dissapointing to whom?
You are the defination of foolishness.

sonOfLucifer:
You dey mind them.. not a curry hater.. but there was Nike before Stephen, and Nike will still be sponsoring athletes long after he is gone.

But Christians will grasp at anything to make their faith relevant. Especially as their religion enters it's endtime.

What do you think this thread is about?
Why do you hate God at every oppourtunity? What happened to you.?
How funny is it that you didnt think that christianity has been here long before you, and will be here long after you submit your life.

Emeskhalifa:
emeskhalifah@gmail.com

Ill address the question when im back from church.

CAPSLOCKED:

I'M SORRY I DON'T GET YOU,

DID YOU ALSO SIP FROM THE LORDS VODKA??

Im sorry i got no time for foolishness.

Weah96:
Do you think that he's misrepresenting his position in order to gain appeal? You're essentially calling him a liar.

I live around atheists who hold the same view. Everyone knows that we came from something or somewhere, including the entire scientific community.

I'm not calling him a liar, i'm calling you a sneak. Open a thread and ask the neutral question not just some carefully engineered question that gives a hint on the possible answers

Ranchhoddas:
If someone wanted to inscribe verses of the Koran on sneakes and mass produce them, people like you will scream blue murder and claim it is a sign of the endtimes.

Scream blue murder at what? Do you type just cos you need to type?

CAPSLOCKED:
SO YOU SEE, THE BIBLE WAS AUTHOURED BY DRUNK MEN UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF A BAR TENDER.

SERIOUSLY I ADORE THIS SINCERE LEVEL OF ABSOLUTE DRUNKENESS AND CONFUSION.


EVEN THE LORD JESUS GETS DRUNK SOMETIMES

Emeskhalifa, this is the kind of answer hahn wants you to think about and understand.

I wont waste my time with this, you want your answers, you know how yo get it.

Weah96:
Winner01 come and hear word.

After you gave possible answers yourself?.
Please quote me the next time you ask a neutral question in actuality.

Emeskhalifa:
why not here Sir/
alot will learn if we discuss it hereu know?

Trust me, I know better. This platform is in no way pro-christian. It is more of a subtle bait for sincere people like you seeking answers. I used to answer these questions here before, you can check some of my posts and previous topics. But now I've decided to take a more appropriate approach on this group. Look up the comments and tell me if it agrees with me or not.

Good God.

Emeskhalifa:
winner01 ur needed here
Ogar Tosyne2much come see somthing before u bail go church
God2Man

Email me, we can discuss better. This is definately not the right platform to discuss Christ or Christianity.

Great

Great God

God is good.

God is good.

God is good.

God be praised

A question you have no answer to is stupid. While you demand that your own questions be answered. How convenient
Foolishness.

KingEbukasBlog:
God is the greatest

Amen

KingEbukasBlog:
Supernatural Intervention = Miracles

thumbs up bro

happy sunday

skeendyke:
An atheist becoming a Christian is not proof that God exists. In the same way, a Christian becoming an atheist is not proof of God's non-existence.

God does not depend on the conversion of one to prove His existence, neither does the unbelief of another erase His existence.

Anybody who seeks God will find Him if they seek Him with sincerity to know Him. He will reveal Himself to them in such a way that He becomes the only reality.

However, God has permanently confined the curious, scientific seeker to endless fruitless search of His existence so that they sink in the sea of their questions about the material evidence of His existence. To these, God becomes an object of man's imagination since He can't be seen with the physical eyes, can't be heard, or touched. The limitation of their senses that cannot see beyond their ability to perceive and interact with the physical world dictates to them the existence of a Spirit being who created the whole universe.

And since they are not willing to try but would rather argue blindly against a reality existing in another dimension besides this physical dimension where, to be real, matter has to conform to physical laws, who says God is unjust to grant them their wish of eternal separation from Him since they denied His existence all their lives?

true

happy sunday

bless you

happy sunday