Efemena_xy: Looks like this thread is undergoing a natural death here...

No one seems interested in contributing.

Mac, oya write something here now

Efemena_xy:

Chief Adedayo could not believe his eyes. Everything around him suddenly seemed to play out in slow motion. Very slowly, as though in a trance-like state, he gradually dropped to his knees, kneeling beside the charred, motionless remains of his daughter. A scream had formed in the pit of his stomach, risen to his throat but not a sound escaped from his open mouth. There was a dull but steady throbbing in his head which seemed to get louder. Somewhere in his dazed mind, he realised the dull throbbing was infact the pounding of people's feet as his neighbours raced towards him in alarm. There was chaos everywhere.

Suddenly as though from a distance, he heard an eerie scream pierce through the still night. He realised the unearthly scream was from him. His neighbours had by now reached him and were holding him, pulling him back from the scene as he thrashed around uncontrollably in the midst of the commotion. "Otio O!" he yelled beating his chest "Shade!" he called over and over again as tears streamed down his face.

Mrs Adedayo had by now also arrived, took one look at the scene playing before her very eyes and collapsed in a heap on the ground.

"Water!" a neighbour shouted. "Make una bring water come now!"

"Jesu!!" another cried out in fright, making the sign of the cross. "Abeg make una call ambulance come o!"

"Where you for see ambulance? Ambulance ko! Ambulance ni!!" another countered. "Na Okada pessin go take enter reach hospital quick-quick..."

Meanwhile, Lola who had given up knocking on the front door had turned back to go home when she heard the explosion, and had been thrown back against a wall. Mustering her strength about her, she followed the crowd to the back of the Adedosun's house - to where the noise appeared to have come from. Pushing through the crowd of people standing nearby, the acrid stench of burning flesh and fuel suddenly hit her and it was was all she could stomach - when she stumbled upon Mr Adedosun clutching tightly to the seemingly charred remains of an unrecognisable body...no, wait - this wasn't just an unknown body...it was.. Shade's? Shade's??!!

Suddenly the world seemed to swim around her as she felt herself collapsing to the ground in shock...

"There, there, I've got you" She heard faintly as a pair of strong masculine hands caught her from behind, preventing her from hitting the ground as she passed out...

By now a lady had reached the scene, quickly assessed the situation and knelt by the still, seemingly lifeless body. Holding Shade's limp wrist between her thumb and forefinger, she felt for a pulse. It was very weak but there nonetheless. "This girl needs to be taken to the hospital immediately" she said in a loud authoritative voice, as she placed her in the recovery position.

"Mr Adedayo, your daughter isn't dead" she said in a professional voice. "She however has suffered first degree burns and needs to be attended to immediately. I have some IV fluids at home which I'll set up for her, whilst transportation is arranged for to take her to the hospital" she continued. Mrs Adeosun (Mama Bisi), had just returned from her night shift as a nurse at the nearby General Hospital. Lucky she was on hand to help she thought to herself, as she quickly gave instructions over her mobile phone to Bisi to bring her First Aid Kit over...

*********************************************************************************************************

Amaka was close to tears but decided not to jump to any conclusions before speaking properly with Uche. What on earth was he playing at? She asked herself? Could her day get any worse than it already had?

"No, I must compose myself and not let that statement throw me", she said sternly to herself as she placed his dinner on the beautifully designed enamel tray they had received as a wedding present. "For goodness sake girl, pull yourself together!" She chided herself. Taking a deep breath to relax her jumpy nerves, Amaka walked determinedly out of the kitchen with Uche's dinner towards the dining room.

"Baby your dinner is served" she called out to him, in her rich velvety voice.

"Coming" he responded as he dropped the Times newspaper he had been reading whilst waiting for his dinner. "That smells good" he said, nodding in approval at her, as he sat down at the table. Amaka smiled seductively at him as she poured out some water for him into a bowl while he washed his hands.

"Not only does this smell good, it tastes absolutely delicious" he commended her as he swallowed the first morsel. "Baby, I don't know how you do it but your cooking is something I most definitely can not live without. I swear you must have taken cooking lessons in heaven." he continued. Not only was her cooking hard to rival, he decided she looked amazingly sexy today.

"Uh...huh" Amaka responded, hands clasped underneath her chin as she watched her husband tuck into his meal. "Thanks for the compliment" she replied. Now what was it they say about men? No Nigerian men? The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, she recalled, smiling sexily at him from underneath her long lashes...

Efemena_xy: Guys you're all doing well on this but a couple of corrections if you don't mind my saying so:



Their neighbours are called the Adeosuns, not Adedayo

The Adeosun's daughter is called Bisi not Shade.



Same thing here too pls. .

maclatunji:

Kindly change that to her.

wisemen045:

@Maclatunji, Lola’s ex-boyfriend had been established as ‘’Kingsley’’ and not ‘’Uche’’. Please, modify your last sentence to ‘’....she remembered the day she met Kingsley......’’.

maclatunji:

She had decided against trying her luck with the Adeosuns because she really hated Mr. Adeosun with his ogling eyes which she knew always stripped her unclad whenever he saw her. Yet, the sense of expectation from her interview that now occupied her mind would not let her wait for the Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN) to restore electricity to her area by midnight as they usually did. Hence, she decided to cross the street and charge her phone at the Adedayos' residence. The Adedayos were a close-knit family comprising of Chief Adedayo who was the head of the Amuludun Community Development Association (CDA). Amuludun was the outskirt of Lagos where Lola and her parents lived. Mrs. Adedayo was a popular grocery seller at Ojuwoye market and was a force to be reckoned with within the community especially when political issues were up for consideration. The couple had a daughter, Shade who was a year older than Lola, they had both attended Amuludun Secondary School together and graduated from the same class five years ago. However, the duo had drifted apart based on their different outlooks to life; Shade was a classic city girl who had little or no reservations when it came to men, drugs and alcohol whilst Lola had always been a model young women in terms of character except for her 10-minutes of indiscretion which now traumatized her like a terminal disease wherever she went. She remembered the day she met Uche...

Efemena_xy: @Wisemen045 thanks for your contribution. A couple of comments if you don't mind:

1. Although the general consensus here is to ensure the storyline flows seamlessly, there still needs to be a distinction between each writer's contribution. I see that you've inserted your write-up within my quotation. Pls amend this as each of us have our own individual / unique style of writing and these should be reflected and appreciated accordingly. This may have been an unintended mistake on your part and all you need to do is simply place your writeup after the closing [i][/i] tag.

2. The story is completely fictitious so there was no need to include my name (Efemena) in there as the doctor. Would appreciate it if you could pls amend this accordingly.

3. If you look closely at my last post concerning the character Lola, she was determined not to go over to the Adeosun's for reasons stated earlier.

Thanks & I hope you view this in the spirit it's intended...

Efemena_xy: Amaka seethed inwardly with resentment at her husband's display of aggression towards her. After the day she had had at work - being subjected to an unprovoked attack from a parent - she really could do with a little bit more civility from him.

She and Uche were approaching their third wedding anniversary and compared to many of their friends and acquaintances, they were by far much more well-to-do financially. The only speck of imperfection in their otherwise perfect marriage was the absence of any children to bless the union. Oh how she longed to fill her home with the patter of tiny feet! Although Uche had been very understanding and supportive of their plight initially, she could sense that the constant pressure from extended family members was wearing him down and as the years rolled by, he became less understanding and more uptight with her. She always noticed, with a sharp searing pain through her heart - how gently, how patiently he interacted with his young nieces and nephews whenever they came visiting.

That was why taking up the job of nursery assistant at Ms Olatunji's posh Little Angels Nursery School had seemed like a welcome diversion from her predicament. Not that she needed the money at all, but it was something to pre-occupy her mind with, a reason to get up in the mornings and hopefully, an opportunity to gain some experience in child-minding pending when she eventually, hopefully had her own baby.