Franklyspeakin:
nothing I no go see for nairaland

brother learn knowledge is key. I'm a counsellor and I hear traumatic experiences almost every day.

SporaD8:

The major reason why Men take care of their own look is to have confidence and feel comfortable in their own skin, and not necessary to be admire by their partner.
Such ostentatious and flamboyant display is a feminine trait.

Most times it feels good to be complimented by your spouse. Those simple things matter. My husband looks good for me and I do for my husband too, there are some hairstyles my husband will request I make and I do them for him. It's very simple.

Do you know what a family “Scapegoat” means?

The family scapegoat is a complex and often misunderstood role within family dynamics. This individual is typically assigned blame for various problems or conflicts within the family, regardless of whether they are responsible. The scapegoat becomes the target for criticism, negative attention, and sometimes even abuse from other family members. This pattern of behaviour can have profound psychological and emotional effects on the scapegoat, shaping their sense of self-worth, identity, and relationships both within and outside the family unit. This is the reality of a lady I'm counselling.

Here are some key aspects to consider when examining the role of the family scapegoat:

1. Identification and Dynamics:
The scapegoat is often identified early in life, sometimes even from childhood. They may be perceived as the “black sheep” of the family, the troublemaker, or the one who always seems to be causing problems. This perception can persist into adulthood, reinforcing the role and dynamic within the family structure.

2. Family System and Dysfunction:
The scapegoat role is often a symptom of deeper issues within the family system. Dysfunctional families may use scapegoating as a way to avoid addressing their problems or taking responsibility for their actions. By blaming the scapegoat, family members can deflect attention away from their issues and maintain a sense of cohesion within the family unit.

3. Projection and Displacement:
Scapegoating often involves the projection and displacement of emotions onto the scapegoat. Family members may unconsciously project their fears, insecurities, or unresolved conflicts onto the scapegoat, using them as a convenient target for their negative feelings. This can create a vicious cycle where the scapegoat is continually blamed and marginalized, regardless of their actual behaviour or intentions.

4. Impact on the Scapegoat:
Being cast in the role of the family scapegoat can have profound psychological and emotional effects on the individual. They may experience feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness as a result of being constantly criticized and devalued by their family members. This can lead to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and even self-destructive behaviours.

5. Coping Mechanisms:
Scapegoats may develop various coping mechanisms to deal with their role within the family. This could include withdrawing from family interactions, seeking validation and acceptance from external sources, or even acting out in ways that confirm the negative perceptions others have of them. These coping mechanisms may provide temporary relief but can also perpetuate the cycle of scapegoating.

6. Breaking the Cycle:
Breaking free from the role of the family scapegoat can be a challenging and painful process. It often requires the individual to set boundaries, challenge dysfunctional patterns, and seek support from outside sources such as therapy or support groups. Family therapy can also be beneficial in addressing underlying issues and promoting healthier communication and relationships within the family.

7. Healing and Recovery:
Healing from the wounds inflicted by scapegoating takes time and effort. It involves acknowledging and processing the emotional pain, redefining one’s sense of self-worth and identity, and establishing healthier boundaries and relationships. While the scars may never fully disappear, with support and self-reflection, the scapegoat can reclaim their agency and rebuild their life on their terms.

This was what I'm dealing with right now a young lady who has gone through rape, depression etc just because her parents made her the family “scapegoat” for being a girl instead of a boy.

Subscribe to my YouTube channel.
https://youtube.com/shorts/dd4eUZBpphY?si=3735jeVfmR_YzUQk

Have you ever gotten a new haircut or done something different with your appearance, only to have your significant other not even notice?

It can be frustrating, and even hurtful at times. I recently met a woman who was in tears because her husband never complimented her on her looks. It's the little things like this that can build up and cause problems in a relationship. So, let me ask you, do you feel appreciated by your partner?

https://youtube.com/shorts/dd4eUZBpphY?si=KLVU61W2hczAi_Om

tochez24:



Ye ye ye ye ye😏

Angels online but extremely demonic offline⚠️

k

Proserpina:
Some people are fixers nah

Some can't accept rejection

Some really lack the understanding of what love is.

Some don't know what love is (family background)

Thank you.

Wesha:
Most person are in toxic relationship because of the gains attached. Either he/she is wealthy or he/she is good in sexual prowess. On the other side, most toxic person were abused at a tender age or watched their parent abuse eachother.

A young lady died because she refused to leave due to monetary gain.

MrBrownJay1:


many stay in that toxic r/ship because they believe that their partner can change OR that they can change their partner. so after one partner beats you or cheats on you, he/she will now say they are sorry and wont do it again, and that abused/cheated partner will believe them and stay in that toxic union.... and every time, they do something wrong, they will just say "i am sorry and wont do it again" on and on... by the time you realize, you've been in that toxic union for 20yrs.

This is so true.

immortalcrown:
What word needs to be explained in my comment?

If you are married and someone you knew before you got married still communicates with you to an extent of you telling the person what happens in your marriage, the person is not your ex.

This is true.

tochez24:



If you don't have money as a man,if you like become Romeo, 99% of NIGERIAN girls will avoid you, talkless of being in a relationship with you⚠️

They're all for the money... Except you're talking about the 1% left which most of them are taken, most men marry off good girls at very tender age(before 25 years)

My cousin married his wife when she was 18 years, a beautiful virgin bride and he's enjoying his marriage till date.

.... And you're here lecturing us on how to date whores!!!!!😏

there are women who will build with a man and love him to the end of the world. I don't the type of women you meet and most times you attract your kind.

Are you a good person?

Are you Godly?

Are you decent?

natedensel:
Lol you can't know how ridiculous you sound until you're a guy searching for the women you described, you'd have better luck finding a needle in a haystack cuz the reality is you'd waddle through different girls in your life and you wouldn't come close to finding something close to what you described, I'm a witness, I've been looking for one and every one I've met is pretty much the same and I wouldn't generalize but almost every guy are complaining of the same so I'm not the only one.

I don't know the type of women you surround yourself with but I'm telling what I know.

Maintaining a healthy relationship can have a positive impact on your work life in several ways.

Firstly, it can provide emotional support, which can enhance your confidence and resilience, thus making it easier for you to tackle any workplace challenges.

Moreover, having a secure relationship with your partner can help reduce stress levels, which in turn can help you focus more effectively on your tasks.

Additionally, a supportive partner can offer valuable insights and advice, enabling you to navigate professional decisions more effectively. I do this with my partner and it's beautiful.

Overall, a strong and healthy relationship can contribute to your overall well-being, which often translates into improved performance and productivity at work.

Side Question: Why are you still in that toxic relationship?

If you're planning to hit the gym, there are three crucial things you need to do before you start pumping iron. Trust me, these tips will make your workout sessions more effective and enjoyable. So, watch the video to find out what they are! #gym

https://youtube.com/shorts/8F0QiAikvV0?si=a7Ahc3O5a99yt_sB

Puss360:
Lol.... Lemme come and learn

Please do, thank you.

Love800:
You very correct.

All of dem are good tactics. But the last and most important one is have a life of your own(ur job, worklife, to provide financially).

very important.

natedensel:
Lol, the thing is you don't even believe what you posted up there, how can you get the chance to do all this when a girl will conclude you're a waste of time the moment they realize you ain't rich, it's extremely difficult for girls to look past your finances, infact it's the only thing that would determine if they would continue talking to you or not, let's not fool ourselves abeg, they'll date an unruly, ill mannered and uncultured leprechaun if that leprechaun is rich, and they would choose him over the most gracious gentleman who's broke time.

Different women have a different mindset, some interacting with those women. Some women want someone they can build with.

PerfectStranger:
This op must be from the 80s. Outdated epistle

I am not from the 80s and this still works.

Gbadugbakun:
Oga all this one na long talk. What Nigerian girls are interested in is money. Once you have it, no matter how rude you are to them, they'll stay. Even if you beat them they won't leave because they worship money.

It depends on the type of girls you are meaning.

tochez24:



If you don't have money as a man,if you like become Romeo, 99% of NIGERIAN girls will avoid you, talkless of being in a relationship with you⚠️

They're all for the money... Except you're talking about the 1% left which most of them are taken, most men marry off good girls at very tender age(before 25 years)

My cousin married his wife when she was 18 years, a beautiful virgin bride and he's enjoying his marriage till date.

.... And you're here lecturing us on how to date whores!!!!!😏

Why is everything about money? This is why I advise money to stop buying women over with money, look for genuine love.

Starting a relationship involves building a connection with someone you’re interested in. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Get to know yourself: Understand your values, interests, and what you’re looking for in a relationship.

2. Meet new people: Socialize, join clubs or groups, and engage in activities where you can meet potential partners, I don't like going out this is for you.

3. Show genuine interest: Ask questions, listen actively, and show that you care about the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

4. Communicate openly: Be honest about your intentions and feelings, and encourage open communication from the other person as well.

5. Take it slow: Let the relationship develop naturally, without rushing into things, many people tend to fail here.

6. Build trust: Be reliable, respectful, and trustworthy in your interactions.

7. Be yourself: Authenticity is attractive, so don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don't stop living to please the other person.

Don't forget, that every relationship is unique, try not to compare your journey with that of Oluchi's, trust your instincts and enjoy the journey 😊

https://youtube.com/shorts/8F0QiAikvV0?si=a7Ahc3O5a99yt_sB

Biglittlelois:
Not only women, men too, I know of a married man that told his wife in a heated argument that he will cheat on her and nothing will happen, she then left the house for him to cheat at will, his next point of action was to tell everyone his wife left him for no reason

Lesson; Married couples should tame their words and watch what they say to each other.

This is bad.

I have met a lot of women who say dangerous words in the heat of an argument with their spouse and this can destroy their marriage or break trust.

It's important to be mindful of the words we use in the heat of an argument, especially when it comes to the father of your kids. Saying something that plants a seed of doubt can be really dangerous and hurtful.

https://youtube.com/shorts/GFNMJNN5Bhk?si=-QeoN0cDsdGiju5h

Are you looking for ways to bond with your kids and create lasting memories together?

Here are some fantastic tips that will help you build a strong connection with your children and have fun at the same time.

1. Quality Time Together: Do you enjoy playing board games, hiking, or having dinner together? Dedicate some uninterrupted time to engage in activities that you both love. The key is to be present and fully engaged during these moments, so turn off your phone and enjoy each other's company.

2. Shared Interests: Do you have common interests with your kids, such as sports, cooking, or gardening? Participating in activities together is an excellent way to bond and create a sense of connection. You'll have a great time while building unforgettable memories.

3. Open Communication: Do you create a safe environment for your kids to express themselves openly? Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment. Actively listen to what they have to say, and let them know that their emotions are valid.

4. Create Traditions: This is one of my favourites. Do you have any family traditions? Establishing them can strengthen the bond between you and your kids. Whether it's a weekly movie night, a monthly game tournament, or an annual camping trip, these traditions will create lasting memories that your kids will cherish forever.

Try these tips, and you'll be amazed at how much closer you'll feel to your children. Have fun bonding.

Don't forget to follow me.

As a single parent, it's important to make the right choices when it comes to choosing a spouse.

Unfortunately, many single parents make the mistake of not considering all the important factors, which can hurt their children. So, if you're a single parent looking for love, take some time to consider all the things that matter before taking the plunge. This video will open your eyes to those areas.

https://youtube.com/shorts/IV-SATvhxM0?si=Knp4HOJuiBP2l8-r

immortalcrown:
As long as there is still a communication to the point of telling the person what happens in marriage, the person is not an ex. Find another adjective for the person.

Can you explain?

Hello everyone. So, I overheard a really interesting story the other day about a couple facing a particular issue, and I was so captivated by it that I decided to create a video about their experience.
Do you think it's proper to keep informing your ex about things that are happening in your marriage? #marriage

https://youtube.com/shorts/WktXDSb0QzY?si=skVEqPinbJGqeLV8

It's disheartening to see that many men still hold on to the belief that gifts alone can win over a woman's heart and that the absence of gifts will have no impact on the relationship. It's time we understand that relationships are built on love, care, and understanding, not material possessions.

https://youtube.com/shorts/yfLVk2_Sr0Q?si=EW5qOecdAyeSF9OT

GOFRONT:
In a bid to avoid going too far before gettin to discover we are both AS, I will be like :Hey baby hello I'm AS, how about you??

I found out a lot of people lie about this. I feel the best is going to a lab.

immortalcrown:
If you find it difficult to let go, marry the person and adopt how many children you want.

most people do even think to this part.

Have you ever imagined finding that one person who fills your life with love and happiness, who supports your dreams and helps you achieve them? Imagine finally falling in love after going through a series of heartbreaks and realizing you've found your true soulmate.

But what happens when you're hit with unexpected news that shatters everything you've built together? That's exactly what happened to me. After three amazing years together, we decided to take the next big step and get tested for compatibility. And then it hit us hard - we were both AS. How could this happen again? My heart was shattered into a million pieces.

Have you checked your Genotype?

https://youtube.com/shorts/jWIfcd1YaqQ?si=IVgQJgrc3cT3HRKX

Hello, I have a question that's been on my mind lately. So, my ex-fiancé called off our engagement and now he's asking for the diamond ring back. But I'm not sure if I should return it since he gave it to me. What do you think? Should I give it back? Is it common practice to return the ring after a break-up? Let me know your thoughts.

https://youtube.com/shorts/SQcMLTF3OLg?si=XIJZOUl2Wnt0orrc

Marriage is a beautiful bond that comes with its own set of responsibilities.

It's not just about enjoying the perks of being married, but also about fulfilling the duties that come along with it. Ignoring these responsibilities is not an option if you want to maintain a healthy and happy marriage.

Link to the full video below
https://youtube.com/shorts/66Y9Yymq6YY?si=aduEUsJ-cUyU-RFP