₦airaland Forum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMlsfOcwh0Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMlsfOcwh0Q

laluski:
I see... Then she just have to stand her ground...it'll be more stupid if she gives in to that cow

thank you

Gerrard59:
OP should come out clean and tell us she is the one in question and not this tumbo-tumbo she is doing. Where she dey, to access Nairaland hard? I have been on NL for so long to be easily deceived.

The best I can tell you is to undergo a hysterectomy and save yourself the stress. But seriously, where did you meet such a man? If you were my sister, I would have offered you money to initiate divorce proceedings before he did. On the other hand, I will blame you for marrying him as the man is an irresponsible person, and I really loathe irresponsible people.

thank you for your opinion but I’m not the one in this story. If you go through profile you will know I post a lot of true life story.

optm:
That divorce she's so scared of, las las she'll still get it because she is married to an unreasonable and selfish man. Her reasons for not wanting more kids is very valid. If i were her, i ll be resolute in my decision. rather than bringing kids that you cannot carter for and they becoming a nuisance for lack of proper care, it's better not to birth them cos they would cause you life long pain

okay

MufasaLion:
Even in the olden days, children don't bring wealth. That statement that "children brings wealth" is what poor people use to console themselves.

people had more kids in the olden days due to farm lands. More kids, more workers on your land.

Richarlison640:
This is a very simple mathematics if she get divorced she will shoulder more responsibility if she refuse to divorce it means more children and more responsibility for her cous it obvious that dat man is an shameless idiot who can not cater for his family he will keep on demanding for more children so why not divorce him and take care of three children instead of been with him untill u finish meeting his demand maybe you most have had 5 or 6 children before meeting his demand which In my opinion means more suffering for you.

this is another angle, thank you.

Helpout12345:
3 more kids. That man is unreasonable. If it's just one more child, I will have said the wife should give in.

it’s crazy.

laluski:
This story somehow doesn't add up.if she's the one foothills, why is she afraid of leave the fool and starting her new life in her own.

she is also helping with the bills not the breadwinner.

ibechris:
African men that think more children bring wealth should remember that the world has changed dramatically.

I think if this story is true,the man is crazy and would remain crazy.

this story is not fiction but reality.

Ayinke93:
All this marriage matter tire person. Which kind wahala

different issue everyday.

Blesser28:
ISSA one way traffic thing.
If she is the bread winner,she should stand firm ,if he demand for divorce then so be it .

Coz If she gives in to his demand then and subscribe to more babies then that suffering raised to power 5

okay. Thank you

Mindlog:
That is the link to the episode, it provides so much legal education on obligations towards the children when a marriage ends.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ7m6_EjQUM

Thank you

faithfull18:
Something is wrong with that man, he should just say he doesn't want to marry her again instead of this indirect method. Nonsense and irresponsible men.

Asin and she is trying to make it work but he is making it impossible. I have gotten some amazing advice here.

Michelle70:
wait, how did he?

she told him before going for it. When she had her last child, it was not an issue so she told him and they agreed but after a year it became an issue.

Mindlog:
Even if he divorces her and marry another woman, having kids with her.....he is still financially obligated to the 3 children she has with him.

It reminds me of an episode of that TV series Justice court that is presided over by a Lagos State judge and judgement enforceable. In the episode, the couple have 2 children (I think 9 and 5) and are divorced, the man has already remarried.

The man was refusing to provide fully for the 2 children from the first marriage, I was insisting he can only drop N5,000 monthly for only one the children. The judge lambasted him, reminding him it is obligation going by the law of the State that he MUST pay the children fees, healthcare and feeding. That he knows that he was financially struggling and still went ahead to start another family.

The ruling was he must continue paying for the children' school fees, healthcare and drop N20,000 monthly for children' feeding.

Let her go seek the advisory of the welfare department of the ministry of women and social development of her state to know the enforceable obligations of the husband, should he jump ship.

thank you so much for this. I will tell her this because most people go scot free and run from their responsibilities since we don’t have a system that works in this country.

A lot of people give advice that they can’t act on since they’re not the victims. Don’t allow anyone push you into something bad in the name of advice.

Check this out for detailed explanations and please subscribe.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gGfGmQZsxA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gGfGmQZsxA

Karleb:
A lot of people are not really getting their priorities right especially when it comes to choice of partners, even friends sef because I believe most relationships start from there.

They just do Vibes and insha allah until marriage.

It applies to both men and women but I'm surprised how some women are not using their senses.

Na woman dey suffer pass for marriage after children

I agree but their are some dangerous pretenders. We just pray for the best.

tensazangetsu20:
This kind of behavior cannot be hidden before marriage. She just chose not to see it.

it will surprise you. people can pretend to achieve their aim. I asked her same thing.

Michelle70:
i would advice her to go for family planning without her husband knowing.

she is on one, that is why she has not had kids. He found out.

tensazangetsu20:
Where do you guys see such animals to marry sef

Omo, people change. That is why prayer is also necessary in marriage.

Ed12:
Blunt and straight

If she can deal with the issue of divorce or a case of where the man get another woman pregnant..

The man is truly being insensitive.. but the woman should eventually submit..

the way she was sounding she is tired and emotionally drained. Three more kids will kill everything.

nifemi25:
What if her husband decided to marry the second wife since she doesn't want to give him another baby .... Las las she will still be the one to take care of her children all by herself.. .I will only advice her to stand on the ground that she doesn't want another kid again.

that is what she has been doing but he is threatening to divorce her.

Helpout12345:
Husband needs how many more kids?

she said three and that is a lot.

Irupetepete:
I stopped giving advice on family issues, even I is not finding it funny right anymore

it’s not easy but there are people you still need to help.

duduade:
Something is wrong somewhere Abeg

that is why I’m seeking advice here to tell her.

Karleb:
Let the man have his way, it's up to you to decide if you want to have a baby or not.

Contraceptive is cheaper than baby food last time I checked.

she is not refusing him sex but she is taking measures to prevent having a child.

tensazangetsu20:
Such men will even take a second wife. She shouldn't have married such a man in the first place. I wonder the kind of questions people ask themselves when dating or it's only to knack and eat ice cream

she never saw this side of him as they never spoke about it before marriage. I tell people to talk about a lot of things before marriage.

efficiencie:
Report the matter to a respected clergyman. Report the matter to his family. Report the matter to GOD. If symptoms persist after 1 week, run ohh...he could rape you and force to commit murder in the name of abortion. Sorry madam, you succeeded in marrying your enemy.

okay

Hi everybody, thank you so much for always coming through.
Most of you really give amazing advice in here.
(2mins read).

Someone reached out to me for help. She has been married for 6years now and blessed with 3kids, two boys and a girl. Here is the issue, her husband needs more kids and she has told him No on several occasions. You might be wondering why she said No…

They’re not finding it easy to feed, they’re having an hard time sending their kids to a proper school, she is working to also settle bills but her husband doesn’t care he just wants more kids. They have debt and she is trying to make him understand her reasons.

They have had meetings with families but he refused. He reported her to the church and she gave her reasons, she doesn’t want to bring more kids they can’t afford to take care of now. If things get better they can have more but he refused.

Now, the man is asking for a divorce if she doesn’t want more kids and he can’t take care of the three kids he has already. She is confused at this point because she can’t afford for the kids by herself and it’s a risk for them to have more kids.

She has begged him to understand by he doesn’t want to and if she agrees to have more kids with their situation it will affect her a lot. She sometimes has to beg relatives to feed.

If she was your sister what will you advice her to do?
Forgive any typography errors you come across.

cedricksly:
I have already said it on line 4 to 6 that talking about what is wrong is she being Sexually active at that age as a minor.. But if she is active already and can't stop it, what better way is it to protect herself?

but pregnancy is not the only thing to run from, there are deadly diseases.