₦airaland Forum

Please, let's all contribute any amount we have toward saving her life... No amount is too small or too big.

1. Thirty
2. Wizeboy
3. Jarus
4. tobby1987
5. bluedome
6. hardubuy
7. mashaun
8. papindinho
9. yeyenatu
10. fxskye
11. maclatunji
12. Reedbam
13. eluquenson
14. balash
15. Zachxolan
16. DJDOLA
17. Mogenerous
18. Tbells91
19. Neeyhmutate
20. muhammad23
21. k4kenny
22. slimkay83
23. Ariyke
24. Deciphers
25. Kulikuli26
26. Herbiorlah
27. probsolver
28. Adebayofca
29. Profshyna
30. Dynamo1
31. Ak4ril
32. onegig
33. comsoy
34. simbiatadesomi
35. walelamina
36. sherif4owo
37. DMainMan
38. cherish
39. muhammed
40. loodba
41. anikum
42. hok4u
43. kudoxs
44. bayplus
45. sucre2
46. Bowale007
47. kaz33im
48. Shakirat
49. amuda3040
50. Biliamin
51. Khodry
52. hrmkz
53. tohirah
54. kokozain
55. AbuuUthaymeen
56. Carmall
57. Rash47
58. PMB007
59. tohirah
60. tbaba1234
61. simbiatadesomi
62. Biliamin.

Accept Almighty Allah command, He has reasons for prescribing them to us

Reduce your unrealistic qualities you want in a man and stop complaining of not seeing good brother around!

yeyenati:
So if he wears designer outfits, he doesn't have a future ba? No one wakes up one day to say 'he has to wear brands'. No one said guy's with prospects ain't cool. Those who get all defensive are the ones I'm talking about. We are allowed to criticize too. and when we do, your defensive attitude only means an acceptance of weaknesses.

And roshmedia, this is me being calm. I am just dramatic. Nothing to it.



And one more thing, maybe their ideal matches ain't am$ong the 14 profiles. How is that a crime? To me, it may just be a bunch of unserious folks hoping for cheap hook-ups. But ooooppsss! Msms is real, not for boys who wanna be 'men!' but don't have what it takes.

How will you conclude they are set of unserious folks, have you applied for the service without been matched? How will you stay far away and conclude they are unserious.

That's what I have been saying, sisters never want to get hook or marry; assuming there's a guy among those profile who state that, he's working in Chevron or Mobil, I believe there would have been a serious folks there right?

semioyin:
, sure som sisters expect more than others but most of the sisters have fair and acceptable expectations, whether it be his own place, an education, a secure job ect. Just as the man has expectations, he expects the woman to carry his kids, be her first, come home to a clean house and go to bed full. Some men expect even more and others expect less.

It's not about having zero expectations it's about starting at the criteria set by Allah and going from there.

So the men here cannot blame all on women because some expect more than the other, the same way we women can't blame all lack of marrying on brothers because a few display the dictator syndrom!

We all agree that marriage is seriously encouraged and in some cases fard. The problem however cannot be that some women demand a car. That's why the youth struggling? There's a million reasons, culture, preferences as far as nationality, tribe, finance, lack of religious understanding and so on.

However the thing that has been mentioned mostly by the men is money. The women ask for too much, they feel pressured. It's at the point where "the smart" stopped looking for a spouse and started looking for money instead. So who's to blame for the difficulties? It's the men who give up, who don't trust us muslimahs and are convinced that marriage is like an auction where highest bidder wins.. so instead of looking for ms right they are working working whil the sisters ... Yeah well what are they suppose to do ? Apparently as said here talk it cheap and we are guilty until proven innocent, so brothers by all means delay marriage and delay our marriage as well...

Brothers never at any point in time stop searching for the right muslimah that will fit them, its just that maybe because they never seen any.

How can you explain the situation on the MSMS thread now, where there are about 12 brothers searching for a muslimah since some few months back without any success. Does that mean all sisters are married or no single muslimah on Nairaland again?

Before these sets of brother applied to be match-make on Nairaland, did you know how frustrated they've been looking for Sisters to marry, and how they might have been turned down severally due to the flimsy excuses and unrealistic expectations of our sisters?

Who are now to be blame for this? Afterall brothers have push themselves forward that they are ready, where the sisters, who you claimed and have been siding that they know what they want?

Brb... My battery is now low

olahero:
I am about to, less than 20 days in sha Allah, pray for me because we are young, though, I pray Allah guide us alright.

Alhamdulillah....

Almighty Allah will make the day a success and grant you and your wife the wisdom, patience and knowledge to live peacefully and raise a wonderful family.

Allah will bless and favour you as you are planning to enter the next stage in your life (Amin)

semioyin:
So if that's the case how does that impression affect you ? You're single, so what will you do ? Wait a few years until you have the amount of money u suspect is acceptable to the sisters ?

We don't have to wait for many years, but what's more acceptable is for us to keep on pursuing our career and laying our future on a solid ground until we will come across the Sister AMONG the few saint who will appreciate whatever we have, be contented to whatever we have power to give and believe in our future prospect

semioyin:
Brother, I respect your views but.... I'm not buying this.

Sisters now determine their love life by movies ??


What are your views based on cus it cannot be real life experience, I cannot believe that! The whole issue of marriage is women wanting rich men.. are we talking billionaire or are average Joe's also too much to ask for ??

The picture your painting is crazy

Muslim women, that's who we are talking about. ...

Muslim sisters now want a man who can take them on a vacation, buy nice stuff for them, and also spend for their friends.

Muslim sisters now want the most handsome guys they can lay their hands on, thereby a fair guy doesn't have chance in their side

They also brothers to cross through an ocean just to be with them, whereas those acting such in a movie doesn't even practice such in real life

semioyin:
You are talking about women like they are some dumb creatures desperate for money n bling. Have u seen Bill gates ? Does he look rich? do u think we think he is poor. Because of the lack of bling ? We are not some hungry animals just luring outside waiting for someone with a sparkly thing on their wrist, do we look like gollum to you.

You don't look that and you don't have to have such look...

But what's moree obvious about most sisters is that, they size up brothers at the first attempt towards them, some don't even bother to give such brother a chance to show the stuff they are made of

semioyin:
Because I don't live in an area where there are Muslim men and everyone I meet during the day aren't Muslim. I guess the simple answer is because I haven't met any one.

Why are you single ?

Hehehe.... Which country and area did you live that seems that you are the only muslim in that environment, that's strange anyway

Are you saying you've never met any muslim brother of late? And what steps have you taken towards meeting muslim brother soonest

semioyin:
If he has his deen on place and she likes him what's the problem ? Just a thought...

back to your post: Why do I have to prove my innocence before I'm even guilty of anything ?
so the issue with marriage is because all sisters want rich men ? I've never in my life heard that problem. It might be like that due to where I live, but Islam is Islam and I cannot believe your claim that women, Muslim women are like that and are to blame for everything because they only want rich men.
No woman wants a poor homeless man but I'm sure they don't all exclusively want billionaires!

Are you really claiming basically no one would marry a man with a regular job ? ?

You keep saying the same thing every time, I never said all sisters want rich guy but most of them obviously want that.

Sisters should just try to be realistic with their search and stop using movie to determine their love life

yeyenati:
money is the root of all romance. Hehehe! Ba?! In your book abi? I'm sure if you can afford it, you can buy those. Don't hate on those that can buy those things. I'd go for a man with a nice Louis vuitton and with the best of characters and knowledge of the Deen, than a man that keeps 'saying' "l am a good person!' at every turn. I look at brothers with a Godly view, nothing wrong with him dressing with swag if he can afford it.

Guys!!! Wizeboi said u not Godly oooo!!! Because u wear nice shoes!! Pffffftttt!!! Dude, you just hating!!!

Not hating on anybody here...

All I'm telling you is that, a guy not wearing designer doesn't mean his future is blank

Quit looking for guys with designer and go for guys you have future

semioyin:
Please tell me what my perception of marriage is and what it should be ??

Can you give me reasons why you are still single?

semioyin:
Jutst like u can't believe that I refuse to believe that Muslim sisters in Nigeria are acting like sugar babies when looking for a spouse!

Don't let a few bad seeds spoil your view on the sisters our scare you off making you stop looking and delaying marriage, because that's indeed what will happen If we judge all by a few. Everyone has short comings but if I were to look at some of these brothers I'd stay single forever, but that's exactly what happens when you put collective blame on the sisters.

If every man thought like that no one would be married, now tell me who's to blame here ?

Sisters are to blame here my sister because actions speak louder than word... Even the sisters who will tell you I'm not after money will stylishly rejecting brother without a car with future prospect while she will like to stay with that brother with car even if they dash such brother, she doesn't care, all she want is to be able to brag to her friends that "there's my husband to be"

Show a brother you don't care about his present situation but rather his future prospect and watch if brothers will not be ready to settle down

semioyin:
That's why men are to blame... Because u meet a few bad apples and put a stop to it...

I've met bad apples as well, am I suppose to
blame every bother an delay marrying one because I lost hope ? When a brother says no I can't marry yet, I'm busy working and saving up what's the woman suppose to say ?

Is not about meeting few apples but rather what is now in vogue among sisters... So many brothers can never be wrong with what's happening around us now.

Is you sisters that should changee your perceptions about marriage in order for brothers to change the way and manner they now view you... Back in the 80s and 90s, sisters are ready to start from scratch with brothers then and brothers marry somehow early, I remember back then, once a brother passed out of University and secure a job, the next thing on his agenda is marriage but you sisters have change from SURULERE now to OLORUNSOGO

yeyenati:
Heheheheheheheheehe!!
Buhahhahahahahahaha!!!
Seriously?!! What do you call romance?! You guys are so clueless. And you sir, seem to be on the 'read even if you don't get' category.
While the ladies are there learning all about kamasutra, you guys are there doing 'king of the jungle'.
Physical attractions matters a lot. How would I even marry you if I'm not attracted to you. Call us vain, but if it's within the limits, cute brothers have an edge over those unkempt ones.
You walk around with ill-fitted caps, non-tendered beards, tight fitting shirts, dusty feet.
To many of our brothers, charms and hygiene are not important. The believe is that because they are vast in Islam, that should make them eligible enough. Fa! Fa! Foul!!! No lady wanna take a brother home to daddy looking all funny.
We all want a guy that speaks well, carried himself well, knows what to say as at when necessary. Not some judgmental man with bad manners but wants you to be gentle with him, respect his feelings.
Even if he knows the Deen and all that, if I am not attracted to him. Sorry! That's what I see first, and not how educated or vast he is.

I will never believe your assertions that brothers are always unconcern with their look or their manner of dressing...

Brothers dress nicely except for few, or maybe what you wanted to say is that brothers don't wear D&G shirt, Versace shoe and Polo belt... Because it is now common with sisters to get attracted with brothers who has money and wear designers. No wonder most of our sisters now fell in love with yahoo yahoo boys or garage tout because they are the ones who always see awof money to buy designers while a reasonable brothers use his little earn money to secure future of himself.

Change your perspective about designer and money and look at most of the brothers around you with a Godly view, then you will discover you have been missing a prospective husband with future prospect

semioyin:
If this is what you experience please broaden your horizon instead of painting a picture like that.

I've also seen many who are engaged while the man still lives at home ? And they're fine with that, patiently waiting for him... It's not horrible that a sister demands certain things but to say that they put impossible standards is not correct. Just like a man expects certain things the women do as well, but if all you meet are women demanding dangote life style I would advise you to look elsewhere as many many many sisters if I dare say most require acceptable things before they invest their life into a marriage .

For how long brothers should keep on searching for saint among sisters?

Brothers are now wise not to waste their time looking for saint among you sisters again but rather try to be working harder so that when we meet your basic requirement, then we are ready to go... Looking for a sister that will be contented with little things nowadays is like expecting the fruit which only comes out once a year throughout the year when its gone.

Sisters should just stop crying foul of not seeing brothers, you pushed brothers away to work for money before thinking about you... So you are the cause/reason why brothers don't think about marriage again at the right time

semioyin:
One thing is wanting a big wedding but to say that 90% wants a big wedding for the purpose of making friends jealous and won't listen to the Qur'an if the man refuses to go into debt to afford it seems..... A bit far fetched!

I'm not saying no woman wants a big wedding I'm saying that men shouldn't use that as an excuse to delay marriage, when I'm sure 9/10 times a normal conversation and the couple Will find a suitable budget they both think is fine.

It's the mentality behind all of this I'm struggling to understand. Men act helpless in this department but can defend their other rights ?.... C'mon now.

It is not far fetched at all.... Because what I'm saying is very obvious among nowadays sisters..

I have witnessed these experiences from friends and fellow brothers who had got married in the past...

Did you also know that most of you sisters never want to manager one bedroom apartment for a start with brother? I've seen on many occasions where brothers have to secure money through debt just to secure nice apartment because of a sister, as these sisters always let brothers know boldly that they can't stay in a room but rather flat before they can even go ahead with any Nikkah plan.

semioyin:
Be careful with generalizing like that!

No amount of appeal can solve the issue ??

In that case, if the woman doesn't want to listen to the Qur'an, you should probably look for a religious one that doesn't argue with the holy book but to paint a picture like all women ignore the Quran is just wrong! Just like women men also like to show off their wealth but no one's perfect, and we all have short comings so if your fiance doesnt care than I'm sure she has other short comings and I would advise you to look for a different girl instead and not put collective blame. Some men hit their women even tho they're not allowed to do in Islam.

Am I suppose to run from marriage because of one guy ? ... It's the same logic.. Am I suppose to blame all difficulties on all brothers ?

I have already said it before that it is only few of the sisters (even those with hijab) that normally succumb to doing low-key wedding... 90% of sisters want a big wedding which is one of the reasons brothers keep on searching for the one who can succumb to their wishes.

How many Islamic wedding nowadays are hold in parlour or in a compound where those that will attend will not be more thaan 20 people?

Let's face the fact, most of the sisters now want a wedding whose her friends will always be jealous of

semioyin:
Exactly my point! So if your fiance is demanding more than you can afford, please show her that the Quran states that you're only required to spend what you can afford. Do you think she won't care ? Do you think she will argue with the Quran?

Do that just like you would if your fiance claimed you aren't allowed to take other wives ...

I believe you sisters already know the Quran verse who asked us to do whatever we can afford but you sisters just seem not to care about it.... All you want is how your wedding will be one of the biggest in town and party of the year.

No amount of appeal can solve the problem because they are bent on achieving their aim which is one of the reason most of them are still single.

That is one of the reason you always seek Dangote's son and co

semioyin:
I honestly don't understand the shift in men when it comes to that. They can boast about leadership about them having the final say but cannot sit down and go thru the amount they wish to pay for the wedding with the fiance?

And please dont make it sound like women are expecting a presidental wedding.

Of course the wedding isn't for free and it is a celebration but there's a middle way and as a man if your fiance requires more than you can afford talk to her, women aren't made of stone but actually have sense and a mind.

But men should really leave this poor excuse of ohh women want an expensive wedding so I can't get married right now..

You can quote Quran when it's a about the man's rights over the women but can't quote the verses about spending on the wedding..

There's no Quran verse that asked you to spend extravagantly on a wedding, so don't give me an excuse as if Quran or any Hadith make it so compulsory for you to hold big wedding.

In Islamic wedding, all what is needed is few family members of the brother and few members of the family of the sister... Why pushing brother to an extravagant wedding in which he will has to be paying the debt for the next 2 years.

The most important thing in marriage is for both family to consent to their children as husband and wife, all other party and merriment doesn't carry any Sunnah but rather just showing off

semioyin:
It would seem that we would reach the same conclusion however, we don't. I've met numerous guys some well in their thirties saying oh I must wait and earn enough for the expenses you just listed? How come you guys can't tell your future wife that you will not be paying millions? You don't mind taking control after the nikkah but before the men lost their voices ?
yes it's the women's right but the men aren't obligated to use more than they can afford, (check first post)
so just drop that excuse, and try telling your fiance that you'll be spending what you can afford. If she says no, well you have the right to choose someone else who doesn't think like that (we're many btw)

How many of the sisters want to have low-key wedding, have you forgotten how all of you sisters always dream about a wedding that will be the talk of the town and always want to make sure your wedding is bigger and more nice than your friends who had theirs before you.

Dropping these sisters for their believe for big wedding is still one of the reasons why brothers are finding it difficult to marry because sisters that want low-key wedding are few nowadays

semioyin:
No we women are different and have different perspectives. Don't be confused just keep focus and remind yourself we women aren't 100% alike brother.

Of course a brother should work and make himself better, since he wants to be oga of the house (with all the obligations that follow) but don't delay marrying for your own wish peak financially before the nikkah.

We don't want a broke man without any ambition to come and claim leadership and deny us our right to education.. makes sense?

Just like men don't want an illiterate wife who's only income is the mans income (even tho she can according to the deen )

You don't need to remind brothers of their responsibilities of taking care of their wife and family.

Every brothers understand these perfectly and brothers do work hard to be able to provides for all his family needs because Almighty Allah prescribed that to us..

Mind you, hard work doesn't always bring about success most of the time, many brothers work hard and smart but they are still average financially because is only Allaah who grant success to whoever He wishes.

Brothers don't have money or struggling doesn't mean he's lazy or wouldn't have bright future, learn to start from the scratch with a brother to build a wealth and your name will never be forgotten

@ Semioyin

I am happy that your presentation is in support of brothers rather than following your co-debaters in giving flimsy excuses about brothers. You might not want to accept my assertion of your presentation but can you explain the following from your presentation:

1. Whose right is it to ask for Mahr?

2. Whose family dictates the marriage venue?

3. Whose family present a lineage list of bridal items?


With the above questions based on your presentation, you will have no choice than to agree with me that the fault of not marrying is that of the sisters rather than blaming the brothers

Slitz:
and the men keep saying women want ready made men! They forget that marriage is a contract and divine one at that and that every contract must have an item of exchange between the contracting parties. A lady who is yet to see 'good stuff' is not likely to partake in such contract. The caliber of men we have today basically sit in their homes and cry 'poor economic situations!', they do not have the gusto to go out there and become admirable in all respect. When a lady meets n intelligent Muslim man, a man who has great plans and not just plans of taking a 2nd, 3rd or fourth wife, she would no doubt settle for him even if his present status is not like that of Bill gate!

I laugh anytime I hear sisters saying they are looking for good stuff from brothers before they can say yes... Looking at the situation of the country for example where a brother graduate at the age of 27 years and maybe he was able to secure a nice job that can only cater for him, his wife and children but necessarily creating extra to buy cars, build house or take you on an expensive vacation around the world, does that mean such brother is lazy?

If sisters rightly know that marriage is a contract, why can't you start with a brother that has a very bright prospect from the beginning and builld the fortune of the family together rather than acting like a gold digger?

semioyin:
@wizeboy you mentioned the role of the husband, as the leader of the house. Many men are aware of this however are they aware, that this does not mean that the wife becomes their object, their maid or their slave?

Women want a man, a leader but not a boss! And there's a difference. Men boast about being the leader of the house but forget that with great power comes great responsibility. One cannot claim leadership and neglect the obligations that follow. Just as men have rights over women we have rights as well, and those are your obligations.

And being the leader of the household doesn't mean being the dictator. There's an element of partnership and companionship in marriage, but men seems to forget that, which can cause women to doubt whether the man can actually care for her the way a husband should.

I never said husband should be a boss or dictator in my presentation...

Almighty Allah clearly state the roles of husband towards wife likewise the roles of wife towards husband.... These should not be misquoted at all.

Husband should be able to help wife at home but that doesn't mean the wife should take it as a responsibility for the man to always partake in the house chore.

For husband to fulfil his responsibilities doesn't mean until he is like Dangote or Otedola before he will be able to do that, a brother with source of income should be enough for you sisters and stop looking for ready-made brothers everywhere.

This short poem is dedicated to Single Muslim Sisters

My Dear Single Muslim Sisters
You're religious
You're educated
You come from a great family
You are beautiful
To you these suitors are jokers
They lack quality
No refinement
No class!
No taste!
Let me ask you
Are you looking for an angel?
That you thread arrogantly
Against all entreaties
You show disdain
But in the end
Weep not if things turn sour
Because we live by our choices
Yes, be vigilant
Yes, test his worthiness as a husband
But be humble
And seek Allah's blessing
Such that in your quest for Mr. Right
You look at what matters
A reliable man who fears Allah
And seeks to build a Muslim home with you as a reliable partner

In The Name of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful

Good day to the Moderators of this wonderful thread, as well as the Organisers of this debate. I won’t proceed to the business of the day without acknowledging the presence of my co-debaters and the esteem viewers. I will write to assert that Single Muslim Women are the Cause of Difficulty in Getting Married Amongst Muslims  
 
Asalam Alaykum Waramotullah Wabarakatuh,
 
Marriage refers to the mutual relationship ordained by Almighty Allah for the believers as an act of worship between two people who love, trust, care, understand and respect each other for the sake of Allah; so as to attain jannah, procreate children, fulfil their sexual desires, unite and enjoy companionship forever with its continuation in paradise In Shaa Allah.  The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Three matters should not be delayed: prayer when its time comes, burial when the funeral has arrived, and the marriage of single brothers/sisters when a well-suited spouse has proposed.” [Tirmidhi]
 
Islam however, is clear on the kind of wife brothers should be seeking. The Prophet (SAW) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her background, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we (brothers) are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage MIGHT likely bound to fall into misery. True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway.
 
In another hadith, the Prophet (SAW) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by Rasulallah (SAW), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed: "They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): 'Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard' "[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (SAW), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah (SAW) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the DEVOTED WIFE who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands’ property when he is away. Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah (SAW) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (SAW) replied: "the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds". Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person?
 
The Prophet (SAW) taught us in many hadith about the various characteristics which one looks for in a spouse and their relative importance and which ones determine success insha Allah and Allah's blessing on a marriage.  Among those hadith:
 "Inna al-mar'ata tunkahu lideeniha wa maaliha wa jamaaliha fa 'alaika bi dhaati ad-deeni taribat yadaaka."
"A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty.   You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)"  Muslim
"Takhayyaroo li nutafikum fankihoo al-akfaa'u wa ankihoo ilaihim."
"Choose carefully for your seed.  Marry those who are equivalent (or "qualified" and give to them in marriage."  Ibn Majah and others and it is sahih.
 
According to the above hadiths, brothers are expected to choose the best and pious among sisters as a wife but to see the qualities or a pious sisters in this 21st century are not only hard to find but unattainable.   

To make matter worst, when brothers try to overlook some of the above mentioned qualities that Almighty Allah and Prophet Muhammad prescribed, which most of these sisters lack and decided hook up with them in order to complete half of deen, they (sisters) normally reject such offer and are always seeking brothers with unrealistic qualities which includes:
 
APPEARANCE: A lot of sisters have thrown away good partners with reasons like “he is too short’, ‘he is chubby now, 'he is not that handsome', which made them to reject the proposal of so many qualified brothers.
 
MATERIAL THINGS: These sisters also reject brothers on the premise of ‘He stays in a one bedroom apartment’, ‘he doesn’t have a car’, he hasn't build house yet or doesn't work in an oil company. They never wanted to build fortune with brothers but rather looking for a ready-made brother.
 
TRIBE: Some sisters also discriminate along ethnic line; they are fond of 'I can't marry Yoruba brother', 'Is Hausa brother I must marry'. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) asks us never to discriminate among human being and Muslims are refer to, as a family no matter the tribe, colour, race or culture.
 
SISTERS FORGET THAT GOOD BROTHERS LOOK FOR SISTERS WHO SHARE SIMILAR NON-ROMANTIC, NON-SPIRITUAL VALUES: Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm sisters… these brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the operation of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on.  That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.
 
MANY SISTERS WANT TO BE MARRIED BUT THEY ARE NOT TRULY READY TO BE LED: They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by His representative in the home. What I am about to say next I say with the utmost respect to women.
"Men were created to lead at home. Now, with that leadership comes accountability to Almighty Allah meaning that Allah holds him accountable and will punish him first for bad leadership. But a man cannot be accountable for a woman he can’t lead….and a man does not want to be over anything he can’t be accountable to Allah about".

The rights of the husband upon his wife are greater than the rights of the wife upon her husband for the simple reason that Allah, the Almighty, stated in the Glorious Quran what means: “…And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]
Man is the caretaker of his wife and household. He is responsible for all her affairs. He is responsible for training, direction and discipline if needed. Allah Almighty Says what means: “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…” [Quran 4:34]

It is an essential right of man over his wife to be obeyed so long as his commands do not conflict or contradict the commands of Allah, the Almighty, Allah’s Messenger and the general teachings and codes of ethics of Islam.

UNIMAGINABLE EXPECTATION: Sisters are fond of looking for brothers who are utmost caring, sensitive, listens to them, treats them like a princess, spoil them with nice things, help around the house, cook on occasions, buy things for their family, impresses their friends, In fact, I don’t really think its possible to put all qualities women seek in one post.  How one man could possess all these qualities when he is not an alien?
 
MANY SISTERS APPROACH RELATIONSHIPS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF “LOW RISK, HIGH REWARD”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here)They don’t want to put themselves out there at all.

They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be  but you want a God-fearing brothers as husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.

You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut?

In essence, many Sisters say they have faith but they don’t. They say that Allah is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust Allah’s will and believe in qadara (destiny) for their future but they are lying. They don’t. They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get. How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide” both necessary and unnecessary stuff they want at any particular point in time. They want him to have his life utterly figured out…

But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed.
 
MANY YOUNG MARRIED WOMEN ARE PAINTING A FAIRYTALE PICTURE OF MARRIAGE TO THEIR SINGLE LADIES: Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single sisters. These young married women create a fairytale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man)  and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth.

SELFISHNESS: Sisters are always after what they can benefit from marriage only, without considering what they can offer. Sisters, if you must look for a perfect brother, make sure you are even near perfect; you can't be an imperfect person and be expecting to hook up with perfect brother, that's really an unfair calculation at your own end.
 
What normally amazes me is how they (Sisters) always cry foul of not seeing suitor among brothers when there are array of well qualified and financially-fair brothers around. Kindly take a look at the MSMS thread: https://www.nairaland.com/1935933/muslim-singles-matching-service-msms full of potential brothers and how they (sisters) always complained bitterly of looking for suitor, then you will definitely be amaze about how confused they always be.

While you are looking/waiting for a guy to walk in and fit into your radar, you are doing some things that also confine you to the "never my type" hemisphere... So, just as good men are hard to find, "manageable" ladies are unicorns!!!!  What is GOOSE for Uganda... Is GOOD for PERU

I will conclude by saying THEY (Sisters) SIMPLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT... That's how they usually dangling around till they will fell into wrong hand who might have sweet-mouth or deceive them.
 
Sisters! Allah has a beautiful story of love written for you. Am I saying settle? No way. But I am saying look at these men through the eyes of Almighty Allah. Get your pride out of the way. Don’t define your marital success by how well your wedding day or “lifestyle” stacks up with other women.  Most importantly, start seeing yourself as a true (not just perceived) gift from Allah that can bring Allah’s favour and blessings into your husband’s life because that’s what you are. So work to BECOME that and I truly wish you a love-filled, Allah centered happy marriage when it does happen.


Maa Salaam

Asalam Alaykum Waramotullah Wabarakatuh,

Jum'ah Mubarak to brothers and sisters....

Today is the day, alot of bragging had gone outside this thread... Looking forward to what the sisters will bring forward Insha Allah

To the brothers, hope you wouldn't disappoint in this contest.

COUNTING DOWN TO 10.00am

golddeejay:
hav read abt mini importatn here...i want to start with 25k, i want to bring in men shirts and women tops but i want to order them in 1 or 2 pieces probably from different sellers and ship it thru free shipping. My question is which strategy can i use to ship everyth together
wizeboy

It might not be possible for you to ship goods from different sellers together using FREE SHIPPING because seller will ship their goods differently through their prefer shipping post either China post, Hongkong post or Australia post.

It can however only be possible, if you buy the goods from a single seller OR one seller assist you to order for other goods you want, which some sellers might not want to do for you (sellers only do such favour at their own discretion or to customer that normally patronise them constantly). Approach a seller and see whether he/she can be of assistance to you in this regard.

If not, you can order them separately and let them ship the goods separately as the time interval of receiving them might not be more than few days if they ship almost at the same day or a day after.