₦airaland Forum

to what extend can a pretending partner be known?

Marriage is not an education.

Studies have shown that getting married to a woman that loves money will motivate you to work harder.

Men don't settle for less

eTECTIV:
But a gal who's looking for a ready-made man to settle down with isn't abi

Ladies: Can you build a relationship with a financially unstable man without mocking his situation

Gentlemen : Can you date/marry a independent woman who’s financially stable without feeling inferior??

Guys,I do not agree that babes that say they want to marry Rich Men are Gold diggers...It's just their choice...No real man even wants to have a woman when he is broke...Men are more egoistic to women when they are rich...Even poor people are not happy with themselves...

Ladies,should i increase the volume?

Feel free to make your choice too

Skyfornia:
See them!

Someone wants to date somebody's daughter for seven years and not marry her. What were you doing with her for seven years?

And you would think this doesn't happen, but it does. The only instance where you should be with any son of Adam for seven years is where you met as teenagers and of course, you can't marry then. You continue your puppy love and grow with each other.

But otherwise, if you date a guy for a year, he should already be talking marriage, by the second year, y'all should be planning your wedding. That's fair, but I don't even roll that way.

For me, 6 months is enough to know whether I can spend forever with you or not. In a year or less, we should be planning our wedding, unless we both agreed that marriage is off the table and we are just cruise controlling.

Otherwise, get the line moving if you ain't ready.

7 years and you say you changed your mind? May this not happen to even my enemy.

I always hear ladies saying "some girls are lucky" simply because a man bought them a car. You'll hear things like "My dear your God is wonderful. I envy you .

I wish I can have a man like this or that. Babe you're so lucky". Well let me drop a few words on this by starting with a couple of questions.

a. Do you know where they came from as a couple?

b. Did she tell you the pain, struggles, troubles, tears, heartbreaks, sweats and failures she had to tolerate?

C. Did she ever mentioned the times where they had nothing but each other?

Listen lady, people only show you what they decide to show you, ok? "LUCKY IS PATIENCE!". Yes! You don't just wake up and start being lucky with people you know nothing about. It only takes the Grace of God to join two people together for beautiful things to happen.

The better word to use there is "GRACE" and not luck. When Grace finds you, better things starts to happen. But you have to work on that before it comes to you. Your partner shouldn't be an ATM machine for you. You must water your own grass and then watch it grow & flourish. Help your partner win. Be supportive and then you can also get to witness the "LUCK" you're envying ��.

I am throwing a huge shout out to all the ladies who aren't afraid to date a man who's a work in progress and help build him up. To the ladies who never give up on their man in any situation by supporting him to the fullest, helping him to achieve his lofty goals and dreams. For so many women nowadays only want a finished project. They're only present when a man is successful with big money, cars and houses.

I so much hate it when women see a successful guy spoiling his woman and be like "God where do i FIND this kind of man?", IN THE TOILET MADAM! Yeah, IN THE TOILET WITH YOUR GOLD DIGGING ASS SHOVEL! You don't just FIND a guy successful. You stick with a guy who is just starting up in life until he becomes successful! You dont FIND a man successful. You help him become successful.

Ladies, never lose hope in your man if you can see that he's not only dreaming but hustling to make his dream come true. Forget those rich old men & build a future with that young brilliant guy you're currently dating. He may not be rich now, but he won't be poor forever. Don't let 200 dollar ruin your life. Work your self up and be contribute . Be a Boss Lady and date a boss. Build an empire with your man! You hold the key lady, you hold the key...........

How did it go?

bisigasegun:
Please sir/ma I need information about Masters Ville School. I noticed they recruit almost always and I applied there, please I need orientation thanks in anticipation. Bisiga 07066312335 that's my WhatsApp number I will really appreciate your chat sir or add me up to any group related to teaching job.

Well said

Mood11:
7. No two marriages are the Same..

What has worked for others Will/Might not work for yours..

8. Avoid Comparisons.. Comparing sex organs of your spouse with that of an ex or body Shapes or Money Attitudes can trigger Problems. Avoid it.

Funny! I live in a 2 bedroom apartment a;; paid by me

Lilbest3:
do you have gold?
Can you even buy your own pants?

Is this your experience?

meobizy:
/6. She can cheat on you and you will beat your chest to the heavens that she is faithful. Eighteen years after, when the seed of her infidelity is fully grown, is when you finally realize the child was not yours.

Oga you be gold digger

Lilbest3:
even your so called working class and rich girls still depend on men for survival. Out Of all the animal species on earth, girls and women should be the last to mention gold digging.

Oh pls u have been with broke gals

Lilbest3:
do you have gold that someone will dig? How many Nigerian females buy their own hair?

AJMorgan™
@ajeromorgan
I'm 15 years in marriage Today.
And here're 5 things I've learnt:

/1. When you marry 1 woman, expect to live with 3 women:

1. The woman you think she is
2. The woman she is
3. And the woman she's going to become as a result of being married to you

The third one is up to you

/2. Your woman does not really need you to do the "big" things to satisfy her. Seemingly "little things" like hugging her, kissing her on the forehead, telling her you love her, noticing her new hairstyle, sitting with her in the kitchen makes her feel so loved and valued.

/3. Don't "demand" respect from your woman. Respect her and her values first and let it show in your words and actions. What you continuously pour on her is what she'll eventually become to you. Be genuine but be visionary also. It'll help her to trust you more and follow you.

/4. The most "expensive" sex is "free" sex. Stop valuing a side chic because she costs you more money. That's called irrational behavioral tendency in marketing. What your woman gives you for free at home is the most expensive. So Invest in it. That's wisdom for long life.

/5. Build your relationships and family on a foundation of love and reverence for God. The prosperity and grace to sustain a happy marriage comes from Him. It's not by power or might.

Tanks for confessing

MrCork:
Mr Cork <<>> full time plaYA.. part time gold digger...part time womaniser..sole heart breaker...&
Brankolarikly hand some!! (True story)

No

Blakjewelry:
comparing men vs women, the only difference is women feels its their right hence you reasoned a woman helping a guy out is gold digging

I feel i should share this here!.
I have grown up to set certain standards for myself because of my past experiences in relationships. Twice I have bowed out of engagements that almost led to marriages I would either have been a very unhappy married woman at the end or not survive it for long.

The first,engaged after we dated for 8months,a little delay occurred because of my nature of job and along the line I noticed he was obsessed about me,never good if you or your partner is obsessed about each other it doesn't end well.

The second,having opened up my past to him used it against me at any slightest chance he had,another red flag in relationships. It wasn't healthy for me,had to bow out.Anyone can judge me,it is OK by me but I want to marry and live peacefully in my marriage,though 109% of it is not guaranteed.No one walks into a furnace with his eyes open.
Why am I sharing this? When in relationship,watch out for some red flags you know you can't endure or tolerate tomorrow.Better marry late than be late. May our heart desires be me

Anselem9:
Call me 06

smh, am I kizwal

respnd na

Anselem9:
Kizwal i saw ur dm
Quote ds msg let me give you my number

You hate to hear it but most of these some Nigerian men are gold diggers. But you will hardly hear women talking about it because they are ashamed that they allowed themselves get played. Most women spend more on men in relationships.

Only sensible guys don't play women like that

Na wa o

Skmoda360:
This story look like bobo drink mixed with kunu...op can lie for Africa.

AJMorgan™
@ajeromorgan
7 Bitter Pills

1/You can’t make everyone happy
2/Insecure people will gossip you
3/The right people will love you
4/Everyone isn’t mad at you
5/People aren’t analysing all your moves
6/You mustn’t be perfect to be respected
7/Everyone won’t like you no matter how nice you are

1. You can't make everyone happy...even if you sell ice-cream. There'll always be those who'll intentionally keep their happiness button far away from your reach.

2. Insecure people will always feel terrible and belittled by your "shine". The only way they can help their dull light is to dull yours with their lies. And there's nothing you can do about it other than to ignore.

3. The right people will love you. No matter who you are, what you have, how you look and where you live, there's always someone looking for your type to "kill" you with love. So don't beg the wrong people to love you.

4. Don't assume that everyone is mad at you because it's just not true. There's always that "someone" not far away from you who is willing and waiting to listen to your story and see things from your point of view. If you keep calm long enough, you'll notice them.

5. People aren’t analysing your every moves. People are busy with their problems & thinking more of themselves than they're thinking about you. You'll keep missing your steps if you keep thinking that people are analysing your moves all the time. Free yourself from that illusion.

6. You mustn’t be perfect to be respected. Those people you respect aren't perfect people. So don't accept any form of disrespect from anyone just because they think you're not perfect. People are disrespectful by choice and you must take exception to it when it's directed at you

7. Everyone won't like you no matter how nice you are. In fact the nicer you are, the more people will suspect you. But keep being nice anyways. When you do good, you do for yourself. Appreciate those who applaud you but don't do anything just to be "liked". It won't work.

By Josephine Ololo
Things to consider before saying "I Do"
Mr Sir has proposed and you say yes without skipping a beat. You are in love and nothing could be better, you can’t wait to share the rest of your life with him because he is your soulmate, the imperfectly perfect missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle you call your life. Now, with the excitement over and before dowry payment is done, there are certain things to consider before marrying Mr Sir:
1. Last name
Traditionally, women would drop their maiden names and take up their husband’s. But currently, many opt out of it or hyphenate the last name. So a discussion on whether you’ll take up Mr Sir’s last name is important to avoid an argument down the line. For some men, it is essential that his wife take up his last name and for others its no biggie. Sit Mr Sir down and come to a decision.

2. Finances and bills
You need to address the big elephant in the room, how will bills be split? Or will Mr Sir cater for all household matters? Such questions need to be raised and discussed in depth. The current economy is tricky and having a household with two incomes can ease up the burden greatly.

3. Living arrangements
Are you gonna move into Mr Sir’s house/ is he moving into yours? Are you guys moving into a new house? Living arrangements may seem like a minor detail but in some situations, it causes a rift between the newlyweds. Figure out where you will live and establish your roots as a family.

4. Religion
Yes, religion is a discussion that needs to happen. If you two are of different faiths then this topic needs to be dealt with early on. Will one move over to the other’s side? Will you two practice independently? Religion can be a big thorn in your backside and the earlier you come to an agreement the better.

5. Kids
Everyone expects immediately after marriage children happen. Even your mother-in-law is throwing not so subtle hints that the two of you should go at it and give her a grandchild before her time comes. The pressure is unbelievable and may leave you feeling overwhelmed. You and Mr Sir should discuss whether or not you want to make babies and if so, how many do you each of you want? How would you like to raise them? And if you do have kids, which religion will they practice in the initial stages before they find their way? That is if the two of you practice different religions.

6. How to handle the in-laws
In-laws can be overzealous, over-bearing and a whole damn mess. You and Mr Sir should discuss how you will handle them. When they come to visit what is the protocol? Who don’t you want in your house? What boundaries are you going to set? It’s nothing personal really, it just a means to ensure that the in-laws don’t become a bone of contention later on.

These are but a few aspects that need to be taken into consideration before you walk down the aisle. Don’t let the movies lie to you. Marriage is a partnership that comes with a tonne of Ts and Cs. The key is coming to an understanding with your partner

True

dedeorji:
You are absolutely on point.
Many out of fear of losing the temporary 'benefits' in a relationship, keep on weaving a web of lies that always end in both parties getting hurt. I would rather open up to you and perhaps lose that relationship now and save myself heartache than continue in falsehood that would work against us in future.

Thank you!

murphyibiam15:
well put, you wrote absolutely well

DECEMBER: A TIME TO DECIDE THE RELATIONSHIP.

Dear Uncle,

To have walked with Aunty from January to this moment, I think that's long enough to decide if you want to go on or not. Go ahead and tell somebody's daughter your intentions categorically clear. If you know you don't see any future with her, please,let her go! And if you really want her, please don't wait till Edu Brazil and Emmy South are finally back and throwing some rossy naira around before you will now develop small sense to go and start telling her rubbish. You better say something reasonable now before those guys will enter town.

Uncle, there are two sentences that instil ball-shrinking terror into the heart of a man once a woman says them. The first is: "We Need to Talk." And the second is: "Where do you think this relationship is going?" Dear Uncle out of fear you might even tell her Korea. Don't wait until aunty comes up with these lines before you start thinking about the future of your relationship.

In fact, if you know that you now see each other more and more often lately, you now wait for each other after church service, you now walk how together after midweek service, you now call up each other often, Uncle I just want to tell you that you have entered. Just respect yourself and go and discuss with aunty about where you think the relationship is going. Umuahia or Umuchu?

On a serious note, don't go there and start promising heaven and earth out of pressure. I understand that even if you're both going into the conversation with the best intentions, there is just this way it can feel although one "No" can hurt the other person. But, please, be as sincere and honest as possible. It's easier to let lose with truth than to keep them with lies. It's vitally important to be willing to relate your boundaries. Consider the comprise and sacrifices that must follow and decide whether or not the relationship is worth the cost.

Guy, it's important to say what you want and how you want it up front. But don't browbeat your partner into accepting your terms. No relationship is going to survive with one partner feeling as though they were forced into something they didn't want but felt obligated to. Explain what you want, be willing to compromise where you can, and b willing to walk away if it just isn't going to work.

Good morning

Written by
Mazi
@matthewamad
It was 2am that night 18 years ago, tears welled up in my eyes as I gently tapped my beautiful boo to wake up,there was something in my mind that I needed to discuss with her. I wanted to ask for a divorce. Hey Mazi? What did she do? Nothing!The suffering had become unbearable,Under my care, a very beautiful woman was turning into a shadow of herself. I couldn’t bear to see the mess I had made of her. The day before, our only meal of the day had been a kpanla fish I bought with the last five Naira in the ‘face me I knock you’ house we lived.That was it for me. So,Boo woke up and wondered why I was not sleeping. I burst into tears,knelt down and asked her to forgive me for what I was going to tell her. I told her that her family was right, I am a good for nothing man that would only lead her to destruction. Told her that

I was a failure and I didn’t want to take her down with me. See,Booski came from a very wealthy home,a billionaire Dad( in any currency) & had several peeps from same background that wanted her. But Mazi’s sleekness and whatever she saw in me got her first. Against her family’s Counsel she settled with me. We decided to be on our own rather than go to the family for assistance. We were both very proud. This is the setting that I decided to confess to her that I had led her astray. So, I told my Boo that she should give me a divorce and that to preserve Her dignity I would confess to being a fraudster,an adulterer and even impotent.I told her it would be easy for her to get another guy since five years after, we deliberately had no child cos we vowed never to bring any child into the world in poverty.I asked her to let me drown alone. I told her that wealth had eluded me and so, there was no need trying again. Meanwhile, ‘Iya Kester’ was threatening to issue us a quit notice over her 9k rent, a sum we were yet to find. After all the talk, Boo looked at me, gave me a hot kiss and asked me to go back to Sleep. Said she has heard me and she would answer me in later that morning.

Later that day, she went out and returned with 20k. Gave me 9k to pay Iya and the remainder she left on the table. She later asked me to give her money to make food and reminded me to pay our tithe. She made the food and didn’t eat.
For days I kept waiting for her to tell me to proceed but she said nothing. But I noticed that she was not eating. I also noticed that everyday , around 1am, she would sneak out of the bed and went outside.

On the fifth day I tiptoed out and discovered that she was always praying and had embarked upon a 30 day dry fasting and a campaign of PUSH(pray until something happens). In one of the prayers, she challenged God.”Father, show my husband your strength and abundance.He is a good man. Release your abundance and watct him use your blessings to lift people. Show him that you called him. Show me that I have not served you in vain. ”. She burst into tears. My boo did this for 30 days.

On the 31st day, I made a call to my godfather in Sokoto, the late Alh Abubakar Garba Koko. I always called Baba every Sunday from a friend’s landline in Bodija but had not called him in three weeks. Take note that I didn’t’ have a phone then. Baba heard my voice and screamed “Amadi, where are you?! We have been trying to catch you in the last 2 weeks. Quickly get to Abuja and see **** The Manager of Habib Bank Dugbe graciously handed me 50k to proceed on my journey. This proposal in question was submitted 6 months earlier. Whatever made them to resurrect it could only have been God. I returned to my house. Boo just got back from work( interning at a research Center with no pay) and met me home. I told her I was leaving for Abuja that same day. Gave her 10k and off I went to Iwo road. Long story short, I got mobilized with some millions. That was the beginning of this journey. I returned to Ibadan three weeks later and met My boo still praying. That night I joined her and while she was praying I told her to stop bothering God, her prayers had been answered. I gave her the papers of the investments I had made from the payments while I was in Abuja and the balance in the Aza. Ever since we had not Looked back.

Kings, when your woman backs you spiritually, morally and emotionally,no force can hold you down. For that to happen, you must love her and treat that woman with utmost respect and regard. Women are a powerful force in the spirit realm. Know this secret and harness It.

Next, you must be ready for the big break even before it comes. You may be broke and disgusted now with no idea where the next meal is coming from, that does not stop you from planning for the big break. Nobody gets charged planning. Research opportunities where you will put your money when it lands. At zero Naira to my name, I knew everything about the stock market, the heavy movers, the penny stocks, the over priced stocks, the under priced ones, derivatives, money market, interest rates, bonds etc. I knew that Zenith Securities was going to be my preferred stock broking firm and that was five years before I approached them with my initial investment cash to buy stocks. I had newspaper clips of my financial ‘gods’ predictions of the market( Bismarck Rewane and Atedo Peterside were fire back then ). I would trade stocks. In my head daily and rushed to the free newspaper readers association stand the next day to see how my “traded” stocks performed.

So, when the money finally came, I knew exactly what to do. I didn’t dither. Kings, do same, keep researching, keep fine tuning your plan and most importantly, keep praying and never let today’s reality dampen you to the point of giving up. Trust me, no matter how hard it is today, every man will eventually get one big break , especially if you keep knocking. When that door is opened, you must be ready for it. Grab it. Are you with a young lady that believes in you today? Then form a strong tag team with her. Make her your anchor and your strength. Tap into her resilience and faith. You will both cross the hurdle. Some of you will wonder how Boo got the 20k she brought home.
Well, one of her dad’s companies was executing a contract in Ibadan that period. She decided to go visit the German Project Engineer just to “greet” him. How can you let Chairman’s daughter go empty handed when she comes to see you. You de craze?

Happy Sunday Fellas!