₦airaland Forum

Bad Parenting.

* When a child grows up in an atmosphere of love, he/she get to understand how to give love.

* When a child grow up with proper parental care and attention, he/she becomes a good parent in the future.
When a child grows up in an psychologically healthy environment, that child becomes an emotionally balanced adult with a sense of responsibility.

In my little research, the touts, thugs, people causing social vices., the ones whom have been written off, these are mostly product of failed parenting. These are people who doesnt know the love of a parent(s) and/or parental attention.
And the ones who are able to make something out of their lives, metamorphose into those set of parents who would just ensure that their children doesnt lack material things and forget about the emotional health of their child. So far as they are concerned, they have done their best by "providing" for their children.
A lot of people should not be parents because they do not have the mental capacity to raise children.
Our society makes it mandatory for everyone to have a child whether they are capable or not and inability to impregnate a woman or get pregnant makes the person less human.
Our societal expectation of parenting has made people who cant look after themselves to have children they cant cater for.
There is a high rise in deadbeat fathers and mothers and the poor children, grow up with the same mindset. Its a circle that goes round. Very few of these children with such circumstance, are able to break from that circle of irresponsibility.
I had a relative who only gets women pregnant and abandon them after they had given birth. And the women who gets pregnant for him abandon the children to the mercy of their relatives.. He doesnt care how these children fend and when you ask him, he would say "your life is what you make from it" Like, this man doesnt care! He is the definition of irresponsibility! And you can imagine what kind of adult those children will grow up to be.
Many of the deadbeat fathers and mothers are the end product of failed parenting.

NOT EVERYONE SHOULD BEAR CHILDREN!

The earlier this sinks to our head, the better our society becomes.
Our society is full of irresponsible people who cant look after themselves, bearing children. What kind of adult will that child become in the future? You see??
We are the ones who can change this.
- Dont bear children because your family says you should.
- Dont get a girl pregnant to show you are a "man" when you lack the mental capacity to father a child.
- Dont get pregnant because you want to be a baby mama to a money bag when you lack the mental capacity to be a good mom.
Please, dont increase the number of scums we already have.
If you know you dont have the mental capacity and emotional balance to parent a child, then dont have children!

This shit has got to stop!
Period!
Drop Mic

Karma is a b!tch

Story about the gold chain necklace with bold key

Camp meeting was around the corner the coming year 2011 and I had lost my job ending of 2010 trusting God for a new job and also most importantly be at my 1st DC camp meeting. I didn’t have money for my T fare, accommodation, ozii feeding? I thought of many things; to borrow how do I pay back? no job now!
So the holy spirit told me to sell what I held on to as if it was my life; the gold chain on my neck. i mago nu buying a gold worth thousands first time in your life is worth many things especially in the life of a growing chic that time shaa I struggled to allow myself to do this but I did it finally and all the amazing benefits that followed me after camp meeting plenty brekete no be small. Beginning of my breakthrough after (PH 2010 Nov- PH 2015 April)

I want to encourage us here today yes Naija economy is absolutely bad, weird, worrisome, funny and can make us keep loosing hope. But my friend I need you to see beyond you, beyond your current state as per no job, no woman dey look your side because you can’t afford to take her out or boost of a new wrapper/money to your mama/papa in a long while. Rome wasn’t built in a day so great heights is a milestone and today it will only cost your determination and zealousness to push harder to attain all you want.
Are there things you have in your possession that have huge value you haven’t thought of selling to propel that contract you are pursuing, sell it and kick off that business. Brush up your skills or passions to fetch you money. Start up a small thing today, there is huge pride in starting small I swear!

But promise me you ain’t gonna GIVE UP!

From a friend o!!!!!!

I'm a lady of 29 year single but confused.... I left my guy because of his in-ability to control his sexual escapades with other girls, even after doing my introduction..... I tried i could to stop him, but it continued to be one story to other..... Not able to suffer the future betrayal, i decided to end the relationship...... After 3 months of separation, i noticed some changes in me which led to me visiting the hospital where they diagnosed me with HIV........ Now I'm confused, please i need your advice

The lie behind "Men do not like women who use (too much) make up".

I have seen this statement by men many times on social media. These men also state that men do not like unmarried women who:

- wear artificial hair;
- fix artificial nails;
- drive big and expensive cars;
- live in a rich neighborhood;
- have properties;
- have post graduate degrees;
- are ambitious;
- dress fashionably.

All of it is a lie. It's a big time lie.

First of all, if you take a look at the men who make these blanket statements you will find out that they are either poor or barely comfortable. So their reasons for making these statements have very little to do with their personal taste and everything to do with their financial status. These men have a problem with women who do all of the things in that list because they have a problem with women who are high maintenance. It doesn't matter whether the woman is doing the maintenance by herself or relying on her lover to do it. They just don't like it because they cannot afford it.

Also, In Nigeria, once a woman looks good, drives a nice car and lives in a nice apartment, men start labelling her a runsgirl. I posted a picture of myself in an ordinary bedroom and some men started asking who paid for the hotel room. Just like every other man Nigeria, poor or struggling men believe that they should have any woman they want. Nevertheless they cannot stand the idea that people might wonder why a particular type of woman is with them, since their status is lower than hers. A rich or wealthy man will never ever say that he has problems with his woman wearing make up or fixing her nails. Because if need be, he can comfortably fund her lifestyle.

Ned is not the kind of man people expected Regina to end up with. Regina is young, beautiful and is doing well for herself. She could have easily found a young and dashing young man to date or marry, if she so desired. But she chose Ned, and people started wondering why, even though they knew already.

Ned also knows why Regina is with him, but he also knows that Regina might never find another man who can give her what he is giving her. He's in the 0.1%, against Regina who's in the 20%. Billionaires like him are scarce, while young, beautiful and high maintenance women like Regina are many.

Unfortunately the reality of the average Nigerian man is not the same as Ned's. The average Nigerian man is poor. Then right above the average, we have a majority that is barely comfortable. The average Nigerian man is in the 95%. Men like them abound, while high maintenance women like Regina are a lot less in comparison.

Why don't these leave the women in the 20% alone then, and find one among the 80%? Well, for starters they don't find the women in the 80% desirable. Secondly, the women in the 80% want a man that is at least in the 5%. It would seem like a contradiction that poor men like high maintenance women, but they also want these high maintenance women to look like low maintenance women.

First of all, everybody wants the finest things in life, including those people who cannot afford those things.

Secondly, there is the thrill that comes with acquiring a priced possession. There is no satisfaction in dating low maintenance women. She's either low maintenance because she's poor or because she's trying to bag a man. Easy thing.

On the other hand, there is a lot of satisfaction that comes from being able to successfully woo and date a high maintenance woman. And even more satisfaction from being able to mould this high maintenance woman to reflect his own status.

So when next you come across a man who says "Men don't like women who [are high maintenance]", take it as a big red flag, and flee. No matter how cute he is, do not ignore the red flag.

If you are a high maintenance woman, date and marry men who are comfortable with being with a high maintenance woman.

If you are a low maintenance woman who is working to upgrade herself, avoid dating men who are not comfortable with high maintenance women.

Have a lovely week.

LilMissFavvy:
I admire him so much, his wife is the luckiest woman on earth. I guess Mike is not a full-blooded Nigerian man, no Nigerian man is like Mike . Nigerian men are do..............ssss.

not all

Dr. Tayo Oyedeji
@tayooye
There is a building in Palmgrove, Lagos that's been under construction for 40+ years. It's dilapidated and houses drug users.

My 90-year old uncle, an incredibly successful former director at Exxon Mobil, told me the story behind the building as a cautionary tale.

According to him, the building belongs to B***y B****n, one of his contemporaries in the 1960s. He claimed that B****n was the person that started the drug trade in Nigeria. The guy introduced Cocaine to a generation of Nigerian who became addicts and miscreants in the 60s.

B***y B****n made so much money from the drug trade that several Yoruba songs from the 60s eulogized his wealth. Ebenezer Obey has a song in his honor. He was balling while the rest of them (my uncle and his friends) were struggling to build a career. B***y B****n wanted to build the house in Palmgrove as a tribute to himself. But he died before it was completed.

According to my uncle, the Karma from the families he destroyed roiled his family. They lost the wealth he built and his children became addicts and miscreants. The house he wanted to build from the pains and sufferings of drug addicts became the home of drug addicts and miscreants. That house is still unfinished 40 years later and many of his kids became miscreants who couldn't continue his vanity project.

This was the point my uncle reiterated was: "You (young people) only see snapshots of time. I have studied people over 90 years. Those who feed off the pains of others receive equivalent measures of pain and leave some suffering as inheritance for their kids.

B***y B****n was the man, until he was not. Let's be careful, guys. Karma exists.

Monetizing other people's pain brings pain our way. And the pain and suffering that boomerangs often extends across generations.

Fraud kills.

Embezzlement of road maintenance funds kills people in road accidents.

Advance fee fraud destroys lives

Drugs kill.

Gambling kills.

Note: Karma visits the pain we cause others on us and our families. We have somehow created a society that says: "Get rich or die trying"

A society that glorifies wealth above wisdom and integrity. Our music and arts literally encourages people to do anything to acquire wealth.

That's a problem.

Remember, Karma is a thing.

Dr. Tayo Oyedeji
@tayooye
There is a building in Palmgrove, Lagos that's been under construction for 40+ years. It's dilapidated and houses drug users.

My 90-year old uncle, an incredibly successful former director at Exxon Mobil, told me the story behind the building as a cautionary tale.

According to him, the building belongs to B***y B****n, one of his contemporaries in the 1960s. He claimed that B****n was the person that started the drug trade in Nigeria. The guy introduced Cocaine to a generation of Nigerian who became addicts and miscreants in the 60s.

B***y B****n made so much money from the drug trade that several Yoruba songs from the 60s eulogized his wealth. Ebenezer Obey has a song in his honor. He was balling while the rest of them (my uncle and his friends) were struggling to build a career. B***y B****n wanted to build the house in Palmgrove as a tribute to himself. But he died before it was completed.

According to my uncle, the Karma from the families he destroyed roiled his family. They lost the wealth he built and his children became addicts and miscreants. The house he wanted to build from the pains and sufferings of drug addicts became the home of drug addicts and miscreants. That house is still unfinished 40 years later and many of his kids became miscreants who couldn't continue his vanity project.

This was the point my uncle reiterated was: "You (young people) only see snapshots of time. I have studied people over 90 years. Those who feed off the pains of others receive equivalent measures of pain and leave some suffering as inheritance for their kids.

B***y B****n was the man, until he was not. Let's be careful, guys. Karma exists.

Monetizing other people's pain brings pain our way. And the pain and suffering that boomerangs often extends across generations.

Fraud kills.

Embezzlement of road maintenance funds kills people in road accidents.

Advance fee fraud destroys lives

Drugs kill.

Gambling kills.

Note: Karma visits the pain we cause others on us and our families. We have somehow created a society that says: "Get rich or die trying"

A society that glorifies wealth above wisdom and integrity. Our music and arts literally encourages people to do anything to acquire wealth.

That's a problem.

Remember, Karma is a thing.

You should have stated this on the thread they were bodying shamming her

Funkyswagzz:
No a different person

Why are they scared?

EPIJOE:
[b][/b]MY DEAR, ITS ALL OVER THE WOULD. BUT IN NIGERIA MEN ARE REALLY SCARED TO GET MARRIED. AND ITS GETTING WORSE AND WOULD STILL GET WORST.

mrphysics, I serious doubt that

what?!!!!!

NewDelhi:
Another nasty experience wasn't me but my friend in secondary school too. He was caught by his dad. The man severely beat him he was rushed to the hospital. 3 days later he died. The father definitely still regrets his actions till date. So painful.

Easy, easy!!

Pettyprincess2:
Wow!!! See as you just describe your mother's life in one epistle
Nd see person wey wan blackmail
You think i roll with dirty nd broke Nigerian boys like you?
If you dnt upload that nude pics nd video here it will never be well with you nd your generation,yall will die untimely,stupid fool that is hiding behind unknown moniker nd be trolling nd slut shaming their mothers nd sisters!!!
I dnt blame you,i blame your stupid parent,only if they had use condom they would have prevented a disaster nd bast*rd like you
If you man enough just drop your address nd see how i will deal with you!! If you can't it means you a coward hiding behind an anonymous account nd trolling
Never in your miserable life quote me again!!! Don't try my patience!!! Not everyone you see online you slut shame!!! Not every woman is a hoe like your mother!!!

You say?

Fountainofyouth:
Op why are you trying to market broke guys and demarket big rich guys? To each his/her preference abeg.

Do not put yourself in health challenges.

Kapilta:
i have even planned to start smoking because of mike. Lol. Buh if it's not Mikes airreys cigar though, local man is not doing.

Mike the best HM in bbnaija ever IMO, A man that oozed toomuch class the whole show. Principled, Humble, Intelligent, Fun & Positive all season. Also a big Proof that Nigerian Men Don't Cheat. Stan a King & Wish him well in Life

Mike the best HM in bbnaija ever IMO, A man that oozed toomuch class the whole show. Principled, Humble, Intelligent, Fun & Positive all season. Also a big Proof that Nigerian Men Don't Cheat. Stan a King & Wish him well in Life

PEEP BEFORE YOU LEAP, A PREMARRIAGE SPEEDOMETER
The rate at which cases of divorce are rising among Christians and others in the society at large in recent time is quite alarming. These couples shamelessly, give flimsy excuses and reasons for their actions. I have not said that there might not be cogent reasons for annulment (not divorce) of marriages. The fact still remains that most couples while entering into marriages always play the proverbial foolish farmer that his forgotten tools at home prevented him from working in the farm.

My brothers and sisters, what are those tools you need to go to farm (marriage) with so that you can – weed the grasses of marriage, cut the leaves, stems and storms of marriage, stake the line of marriage, etc?

Please, as you resolve to propose to her or accept proposal from him, be sure both of you have answers and firm understanding to these questions. If you don’t, you might be heading to matrimonial gallows.

1. Why are we getting married?
2. What do we as a couple want out of life?
3. How would you describe yourself?
4. How do you think I see you?
5. Do we think our relationship will change after we are married?
6. Where and what do you think we will be doing in forty or fifty years time?
7. Do we have problem with alcohol and getting drunk?
8. Do we have problems with making friends (mainly opposite sex) and keeping them?
9. Are there friends I am keeping now you are not comfortable with?
10. Are there some of my attitudes now that you don’t like?
11. What was your childhood like?
12. Am I a jealous person?
13. Have you ever hit someone before? Is beating a corrective measure?
14. How are our temperaments?
15. Do you have a criminal record?
16. Are you an adopted or biological child to your family?
17. Does madness or any terminal sickness run in your family?
18. Have you in any way married before?
19. Do you have unsettled controversial issues in your former relationship(s)/marriage(s)?
20. Do you have a child(ren) before now?
21. Are we comfortable with our present academic qualifications?
22. Was your family an affectionate one?
23. Do you think we will have problems with your family during visits?
24. What values do you want to bring from your family into our own?
25. Does you family have problems with our getting married?
26. What do you like and dislike about your family?
27. What do you like and dislike about my family?
28. What do you like and dislike about your parents’ marriage?
29. What do you like and dislike about my parents’ marriage?
30. Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?
31. How important is affirmation to me?
32. Do I handle compliments well? How would I like to be appreciated?
33. What is our love language?
34. Do you think we listen to one another well?
35. Do you think it is important to know one another’s reproductive, physical and mental health histories?
36. How are we going to divide up the household chores?
37. How do you want us to spend our free times and days off?
38. Do you believe that we should be doing everything together – eat, bath, sleep?
39. Can we each pursue our own interests?
40. Do you need time alone – sleep alone, own-bedroom, meditations?
41. How would you feel if I want a night out with my friends now and then?
42. How will we make sure we have quality time together?
43. How much time will we spend with our in-laws?
44. Can we talk about money – joint/separate account, joint/personal business?
45. Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
46. How scared are we of poverty and low living standard?
47. How much do we owe in debts and what are our assets?
48. Do you want to have a budget?
49. Where does our money go?
50. What are our financial goals?
51. Do you consider going to the show, birthday party, garden, club, bar, view-centre and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury?
52. Do you have any outstanding debts?
53. What are our future plans for building or purchasing a house?
54. Do we both know where our important financial documents are located?
55. How will we make decisions together?
56. Do I practice my profession/work or join you in your business or be a house-wife?
57. Do we want to have children?
58. If we decide we do, how many children do you want us to have?
59. How long should we be married before having children?
60. Which kind of schools are our children going to attend?
61. Which career/vocation/profession are we going to introduce/lure our children into?
62. What kind of parent do you think you will be?
63. What is your parenting philosophy?
64. What type of birth control should we use if we want to postpone or prevent parenthood?
65. How do you feel about adoption?
66. Can we talk about sex?
67. Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes?
68. What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?
69. Does religion/denomination play an important part in your life?
70. Do you think faith and spirituality are important in a marriage?
71. What is your image of God?
72. Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?
73. Which Church is going to be our family Church (where you are from different denomination)?
74. Are we both willing to face into difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict?
75. Do you think we have problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before our wedding?
76. How are we different?
77. Do you think our differences will create problems in our marriage?
78. Do you expect or want me to change?
79. Can we both forgive?
80. Are we both willing to work on our communication skills and to share intimately with each other?

…and so on. Sometimes love is not enough to keep a couple together. The love you think you have for each other is not enough to keep you going. Solidify your love for each other with understanding of these fundamental facts above.

Don’t make that mistake. Don’t get married without knowing your future spouse’s thoughts on these issues that can kill a marriage. Compromise is usually not an option if the two of you disagree on these issues that can be deal breakers.

Marriage is a RELIGION; Practice it. It is a way of LIFE; live it!

I am finally happy they have caught him.

madridguy:


End of the road for Boniface with gorimapa head See him carry mic preaching like a good christian hypocrite

WHAT ARE RELATIONSHIPS TURNING INTO.......?

The race to marry a BIG BOY is what's now in vogue. Most ladies nowadays can't function if there is no cash involved.
The urge for material things has changed the STORY OF LOVE. Why make money your only priority when choosing your spouse...?
There's more to marriage than money alone. A man with a good heart is better than a rich man with the heart of a beast. Most women say they want security in life so they won’t date the poor. If he's not rich today doesn't mean he will be poor for life. The happiness and security of your life is your responsibility.
Those who choose never to endure at all may have to suffer for long. Getting married to the rich doesn't guarantee happiness in life. HAPPINESS IS PRICELESS. Perhaps those
who say they will rather cry inside a BMW X6 than laughing on a bicycle have never experienced pain in their life. Some
relationship mistakes can cause life regret Many young women have blindly turned themselves to TEST DRIVE VEHICLE for the love of material things.What qualified you as great woman is not in designer shoes and bags. It’s in your good heart, good characters and real personality. When a real man finds a wife in you he will never let you go.
It’s funny how material women blame men for breaking their heart. A man who wins your love with cash may not stay for long. Real men don't settle down with fake women.
THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN FIND A FAKE WOMAN IS TEMPORARILY IN THE HEART OF A FOOLISH MAN, BUT WHEN THE FOOLISH BECOMES WISE, THE WISE PERSON IS IN
SERIOUS PROBLEMS. Looking for a real man when you are fake is like looking for a LIVE FISH IN THE DESERT. Life is not a joke............ You can earn the wealth now and remain sad in years to come......... THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
The basis of any relationship still remains LOVE, TRUST, GOOD COMMUNICATION and CO COMMITMENT NOTE:
money is very good and necessary... But money should be the roofing not the foundation stay bless have a nice day.

[quote author=Lamanii22 post=82868439][/quote]

dmh

Blackivy29:
continue yawning.