Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Things You Should Remove From Your Resume Immediately by yomz1e(m): 10:05am On Jan 14, 2017*. Modified: 12:29pm On Jan 14, 2017 |
The kind of nonsense you read here sometimes never ceases to amaze me! Good CV have universal accepted formats and ideally should not be more than 2 pages with relevant key points that matches the job you applying for. Tailor your CV to suit the job and pray! meanwhile here are some definitely "Dont's" that should not be on your CV.. these are from real CVs 60. KEY SKILLS – “I am very used to working with thigh schedules.” 61. COVERING LETTER – “looking for a party-time position.” 62. KEY SKILLS – “I am quick at typing, about 30 word pers minute, 45 with strong coffee.” 63. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.” 64. KEY SKILLS – “I am a tiger when needed, but otherwise a pussycat.” 65. NUMBER OF DEPENDENTS – “40” 66. REASON FOR LEAVING – “I din’t give the company my full effort and received no chance of carer advancement in return.” 67. COVER LETTER – “I host a superlative proficiency for resolving complex systematic problems. I have pedagogic expertise conducting sales, and I can be quickly utilized as an assiduous, visceral and proactive problem solver.” 70. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Responsibilities included recruiting, interviewing and executing final candidates.71. CURRENT SALARY – “£28,000. Salary desired: £170,000KEY SKILLS – “Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory.” HOBBIES – “Relaxing with family and friends watching action movies” 94. PERSONAL PROFILE – “I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.” 95. REASON FOR LEAVING – “Responsibility makes me nervous” 96. WORK EXPERIENCE – “Whilst working in the hairdressers I had to deal with a lot of old biddies” 97. SKILLS – “I have a lot of integrity so I promise not to steal office supplies and take them home.” 98. EDUCATION – “Have repeated courses repeatedly.” 99. COVER LETTER – Why should you employ me? I bring doughnuts on Friday.” 100. WORK EXPERIENCE – ““Filing, billing, printing and coping.” |
Celebrities › Re: Runtown Had Sex With Nana, Bad Guy Toba's Fiancee [PICS] by yomz1e(m): 9:54am On Jan 14, 2017 |
this HO's aint loyal!  |
Celebrities › Re: Pretty Mike: I Put Girls On Chain To Empower Women, Toke Makinwa Has Crush On Me by yomz1e(m): 4:37pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
Illiterate Mike.....simple english, it's Enslavement NOT empowerment olodo! |
Crime › Re: How UNIOSUN Student Adebisi Rofiat Was Killed by yomz1e(m): 6:30pm On Jan 12, 2017 |
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Romance › Re: Iphone Swag!!! Bride & Her Squad Stun In Unique Outfits by yomz1e(m): 4:51pm On Jan 11, 2017 |
China made ....N1500 for Dutse market |
Celebrities › Re: Olamide: 'I Sold My Soul To The Game Just To Dine With The Devil' by yomz1e(m): 4:48pm On Jan 11, 2017 |
Marketing gimmick so as to boost sales...ilummanonsence |
Romance › Re: How To Identify A Runs Girl - By Joro Olumofin by yomz1e(m): 8:07pm On Jan 09, 2017 |
lolz . that may be right in your impoverished poverty stricken mind , But i doubt it.. googlepikins: Linda ikeji ke? She will feed your whole family and local government |
Romance › Re: How To Identify A Runs Girl - By Joro Olumofin by yomz1e(m): 12:54pm On Jan 09, 2017 |
Linda Ikeji.  |
Celebrities › Re: Nigerians On Twitter Condemn Pretty Mike For Using Dog Chains On Girls by yomz1e(m): 12:52pm On Jan 09, 2017*. Modified: 12:40am On Jan 11, 2017 |
I don't think the women in the 1st picture had a choice on the chains around their necks
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Politics › Re: Soldiers Enjoying Christmas In Sambisa Forest (Photos) by yomz1e(m): 7:51pm On Dec 28, 2016 |
Well done to the Gallant officers! May your demise not come thru these SOBs BH. men how these guys risk their lives for this country is nothing but pure courage and love. Upon all the cutrs and mismanagement of army funds, they still wake up , carry outdated weapons to fight BH and all the commander in chief and his cronies lavish in ill-gotten gains... walahi i celebrate them. May the lord guard and protect all of them from foreign and national enemies |
Celebrities › Re: Photos Of Ada Omolola The Sexiest Nigeria Video Vixen 2016 by yomz1e(m): 5:45pm On Dec 28, 2016 |
because she's fair skin? OP probably grew up in a village with local chicks! go unilag you see more beauty than venus herself! Badoo self! MTCHEEWW! |
Foreign Affairs › Re: Russian Plane Crashes On Its Way To Syria. 9 Journalists, 83 Others Aboard by yomz1e(m): 10:12am On Dec 25, 2016 |
I think you are the one with wrong info. The war in syria is between Syrian Rebels and Assad. ISiS are long gone from Syria , maybe a splinter cell still causing havoc. However the fact is Assad is using Syrian armies with Russian help to destroy what use to be a beautiful country Mayflowa: This is a very wrong perspective of what is going on. Where are you getting your information. In syria, there is a dark army that is terrorizing the world called ISIS. They inspire attack on many soil thousands of kilometers away from them. They enslave their people by setting obnoxious laws, do not follow constituted authority and a very lethal threat to world peace. Wait unril they lay their hands on nuclear weapon!
Condemning whoever is fighting them is just like condemning the Nigeria Government for fighting Book Haram. Only that, it is hard to avoid innocent hostage casualty when you try to do this. In fact, they surround these people around themselves so as to avoid attack while they lead havoc on the world |
Foreign Affairs › Re: Russian Plane Crashes On Its Way To Syria. 9 Journalists, 83 Others Aboard by yomz1e(m): 10:10am On Dec 25, 2016 |
These planes ain't loyal |
Investment › Re: MMM Guiders Donate Hundreds Of Naira In Provisions To Delta Orphans by yomz1e(m): 9:35pm On Dec 22, 2016 |
monkey business
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Investment › Re: MMM Most Likely To Crash This Xmas...... by yomz1e(m): 9:51pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Smh!!!!
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Webmasters › Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 8:43pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
who is stupid b/w us two? who lost money ? ole buruku! ala pa ma sise! oya now go an invest more.... the images below are for you..feel free to share with your cronies Izachk: u r very useless 4 calling ppl stupid. Idiota
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Webmasters › Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 6:27pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
abi.... wetin concern ceaser when they brought Jesus for judgement ..me too i wash my hands...........anyways sorry for your loss.. but seriously do you think it was morally right what MMM was all about? ask your conscience.. and you go church or mosque asking for divine help and yet you steal from your neighbour.. you dont have to carry a weapon to commit crime.! anyways its None of my Bizness as you said... by the way... people close t me lost big money too suremossty: Is it your money? Na those wey no even dey do MMM dey help us use Phensic for our headache. Sey we complain give una. 80% of those participating in MMM knows from the onset that it is a risk. Stop all this Alaroye news joor.... How is ur own success relies on other people's trying time?... let's apply some decorum pls... MMM rocks like cr7... |
Celebrities › Re: Denrele Edun On The Red Carpet Of "Ayamma" Movie Premiere by yomz1e(m): 5:49pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
Haters! please upgrade your neanderthal mindset. Not everybody follows trends! |
Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 5:34pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
My people died for the lack of knowledge
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Webmasters › Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 5:31pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
I see alot of MMM supporters here still hoping for the 2nd coming of MMM... keep waiting
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Culture › Re: Machete Passes Through Man's Stomach, During Cultural Display In Akwa Ibom State by yomz1e(m): 5:11pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
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Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 5:05pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
Patrick, God don catch you, sebi you know wan borrow me money! you go borrow MMM, oya go collect am back..... thunder fire you!  |
Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 4:53pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
Just heard on AL Jazehra that CBN have instructed all banks to refund all customers money linked to MMM news flashed 
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Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 4:44pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
the writing was one the wall, when people started loading fake bank tellers, pairing you with 50 people to help with N5000... am going to LIke every comment that takes the pi$$ out off MMM mugus. |
Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 4:42pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
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Nairaland General › Re: MMM Members Providing Help To The Needy by yomz1e(m): 4:36pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
Liquid Metal, back in July you were MMM chief campaigner, i hope all the people you dragged into it come and look for your head! >: ALL OF YOU THAT LOVED MMM THAN CLEAR CONSCIENCE ..BIG SHAME ON YOU NOW! I HOPE YOU ALL LOST MONEY MORE THAN YOU MADE FROM THIS SCAM(Liquid2Metal: MMM is all about changing lives not amassing wealth. Thumbs up guys, together we change the world! |
Webmasters › Re: MMM Dominates Google Trend As Crash Fears Heighten by yomz1e(m): 3:59pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
This is the end of it, even if they reinstate the MMM site, the stupid people who invested in it have lost faith and scared. |
Investment › Re: Man Beats Wife To Coma for Investing Children's School Fees In MMM by yomz1e(m): 3:53pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
I laff in congolese
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Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 3:30pm On Dec 15, 2016*. Modified: 4:40pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
I remember few months on NL when i advised the dangers of the scheme, some Sob's defended MMM with their lives that it was safe to do..This just shows how Nigerians are dumb, greedy, selfish, non-caring and devilish people that are ready to take money from other Nigerians to enrich themselves. once again to all the bastards that defended MMM on Nairaland.... you will use that money to seek treatment for incurable diseases. https://www.nairaland.com/3324169/mmm-members-providing-needy/3#51957636 hayoakins: www.nairaland.com/attachments/4611929_mmm_jpeg8b802860e4b7cf49223e902205d7cbb4
Having lost 2,300,000NGN (two million, three hundred thousand naira) to WealthSolution, Real & Cool, PennyWise and the likes in June 2007, not subscribing to MMM was no brainer as it is only a matter of time before the schemers would pull the plug. As much I do not want to subscribe to the school of thought that it has crashed already, it may surely not survive the next 60days as anyone who survives this end of the year shocker (account freeze) would need no prophet to advise him/her to stay clear should he be able to finally receive help come January. In January, the 30days gap would make almost everyone whose account was placed on hold/freeze qualify to get help but who would be ready and willing to GIVE HELP, Me?
Four (4) weeks ago, it became evident that the scheme was heading down south when one subscriber who needed to cash out 470,000NGN was assigned 21 other subscribers to give him help (send him money). This shows that there is increase in the number of people offering to give help of less than 30,000NGN compared to a few months ago when people were placing in as much as 1,000,000NGN. Please note that I do not refer to them as investors as they are not investors rather gamblers.
After interviewing some guiders, captains, subscribers and reading some online articles, I got a better understanding of how the scheme actually works (the matching algorithm and cash out model). A subscriber who is due to cash out (receive help) is assigned one or more other subscriber(s) who is/are due to give help. When the time is right for the schemers to pull the plug, crash the scheme in Nigeria and finally cashout, the same model would be adopted to avoid suspicion however only with some selected number of more greedy and trusted guilders and captains who would be paid a percentage of the amount they are able to pull perhaps the same 30%. I will explain further in the next paragraph.
It is assumed that MMM Nigeria has over 3,000,000 (three million) Nigeria dwellers (citizens and non-citizens) who already enrolled on the MMM platform, I would refer to them as active accounts. All the schemers need to do is to create a syndicate of greedy, trusted and highly secretive captains and guilders of at-least 1,000 out of the 3,000,000 active accounts, whose account would be assigned to other unsuspecting subscribers to give help to. Just like the existing model, no one would notice any foul play as nothing has changed; the process has not been modified in any way only that only a selected number of people (syndicate) are receiving help from others.
Let’s assume that MMM Nigeria is pulling out 250,000,000,000NGN (two hundred and fifty billion naira), each of the 1000 would get 250,000,000NGN, imagine being promised to get 30% of any amount you pull, that is 75,000,000NGN, trust me, an average guilder and captain would sell his/her birthright to get that amount and care-less about the crashing MMM Nigeria or otherwise . The sudden account inflow should raise a flag within the banks’ core system as some of the guys’ account may never have recorded such inflow before. FLAG Number 1. – BANKS to be on ALERT, Anti-money laundering monitor should flag the accounts
Getting the funds out of the country to the chief schemer Mavrodi or his accomplice would be the next stage of execution but this would be a tall order due to the stringent FX policies surrounding inflow and outflow of funds in and out of Nigeria. Money laundering is an option but highly risky and could easily give them away. Another option would be to further integrate the money into the system by transferring between accounts before finally pulling it out of the country.
Illustration A gets 50m deducts his/her 30%, moves the balance of 175,000,000NGN to B, B moves 170m to C, C move 165m to D until 150m gets to F. This would make tracking the funds difficult and easier to escape any money laundering trap within the banking systems. Another reasonable option would be to use FORM M and FORM A. The schemers engage registered foreign corporate entities in different countries to issue supposedly genuine and valid documents (Bill of Entry, Commercial Invoice, Bill of Lading / Airway bill etc.) to enable them access foreign currencies through FORM M and FORM A in disguise for payment for imported goods. The banks could be of immense assistance here as the FORMs would be accessed through the banks. FLAG Number 2. – BANKS to be on ALERT in issuance of FORM M and A
Another option is smuggling the funds through the borders to another country(ies) from where the funds would be transferred to different accounts in different countries to outsmart any forensic investigations – FLAG Number 3 – CUSTOMS to the rescue
Yes, people were warmed but it is not always easy to say NO to this kind of schemes, I also learnt the hard way. All the best to MMM Nigeria Subscribers, this is the only way I could help with tracking of your funds and possible retriever.
© Ayobami Akinade AAT, ACA, ACCA(affiliate) Business Strategist and Financial Analyst. |
Investment › Re: MMM Runs To Kenya After Swindling Nigerians. Promises 40% Per Month by yomz1e(m): 3:21pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
WHERE ARE THE FOOLS THAT WERE SINGING IT'S PRAISES A FEW OF MONTHS AGO, THUNDER FIRE ALL OF YOU!
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Christianity Etc › Re: "Insult The Prophet TB Joshua & Evoke Curses Upon Yourself" - Fan by yomz1e(m): 2:10pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
He consulted the same god that couldn't tell hm part of the synagogue will collapse ! mofo buruku!
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Business › Re: Naira Strengthens Against The Dollar As Bdc Intervention Goes On by yomz1e(m): 10:17am On Oct 14, 2016 |
GTB you can go screw yaself
Dear Customer, Review of The International Spending Limit on Your Naira MasterCard We write to inform you of the monthly spending limits currently applicable when using your GTBank Naira MasterCard for International payments via POS and online.
Please see details below:
Channels Previous Monthly Limit New Monthly Limit POS & Online FROM $250 TO $100
Kindly note that ATM cash withdrawal on your Naira MasterCard is now only available in Nigeria.
I FEEL SORRY FOR STUDENTS ABROAD AND Nigerians living abroad |