₦airaland Forum

Marriage is a union between two consenting adults, (presumably) it therefore follows that the said mutually consenting individuals must have worked out their differences before getting married. Whatever they decide to do with their lives is nobody's concern so long as its not life threatening or injurious to themselves and their wards.

A man should fend for his family (even the bible supports this), now, if a woman is gainfully employed and feels obliged to help out, there's no biggie provided her stance doesn't conflict with that of the husband (yes, a man is the head of the family). Bringing unnecessary sterotypes into this issue will only compound things.

Between, lets all have a breather before this escalates into the classic e-fight.

@ OP, how can you put time limit on emotion/feelings Anyways, I remember when I was a lot younger, I watched this fanta advert and beheld this blue eyed blond girl. . . my sisters nearly went mad/abandon the house because I wouldn't let up about my blue eyed angel. This went on till my early teen years oooh!

Now what do you call that?

We should really start demanding more of our leaders. Who is accountable Is it that funds were not adequately disbursed or the contractor supplied substandard material? Last time I was out of naija everything was smooth sailing until we got back to MM airport, it was this faulty conveyor belt thing that first jolted us back to our senses that we're back in naija.

Peterwins: Always do a background check (if possible) sir. I checked on the OP's Profile and past posts and discovered it. He/she seems to be a fraudster. They often deny genuine people from getting help.

OP, couldn't you have simply stated you need a job Have you any inkling what this your post will cost a genuinely stranded individual?

Bros, pls chill with that "K" word. It won't help you one bit. First, get your priorities right. Which one has to go and which one do you deal with for now. If you're as credit worthy as you portray, there must surely be an individual you can turn to for assistance. Friends, relatives etc.

If it means shifting the traditional marriage forward, then it is what it is. Lastly, pray to God for guidance, He never fails.

I think we owe it to ourselves as men to be responsible. I once had this babe willing to do anything to get me to marry her, I knew it wouldn't work cos she's based in US and I wasn't ready to quit my job. She did everything but offer me her life. I didn't let her go too far before telling her the gospel truth, even warned her about the need to be sure of a man's intention before getting involved with him.

Pls, do not use anyone (opposite sex in particular) for your selfish end, karma is real.

@ all those applauding the impending US drone strikes. . . . I feel nothing but pity. Wait till those drones start bombing locations in Abia, Enugu, Ogun, Lagos and other states. If you query them,they'll simply tell you it was as a result of high level classified intel which they got from God knows where.

Well this might simply be the catalyst the whole country has been waiting for to forge on together as one, believe me, when those bombs start dropping east, west & north, tribalism will exit through the window and we'll all have a new common enemy. . . . US DRONES.

Kudos to OP and all +ve contributors. With more of this kind of post we might just stir and nudge ourselves in the right direction. We should also not forget that if we read the word of God daily, aspire to live a righteous life, then covetousness, greed and all other wordly cravings won't even come in to play to start with.

@ Umartins1, I hope this hasn't affected your perspective -vely. Trust me, it'll be a blessing in the end.

Don't know if this counts as I wasn't the pricipal subject. Anyways, sometime back (b4 I got married ooooh!) a friend came to visit me from out of town and happens to know this babe in my estate. He called her up and asked her to get one of her friends, she gave us directions to her place. We jumped in my car and headed up 2 her place, @ the t-junction close to her place this elderly man was trying to negotiate a bend, my friend started cursing him for driving like a learner, QUITE UNLIKE ME, I JOINED IN.

We got to the house and honked, gate flew open and we were driving in when we noticed same driver we cursed out not long ago following us. . . . it turned out that the man is the babe's dad, omo come see drama/scolding!!!

I'd have to say my wife, prior to her. . . no one! I'm fiercely independent and I detest divulging info to anyone, not even nuclear family. I guess this comes easy to most guys.

My wife, my son's smile, even his cries (when he's hurt). The fact that I don't have the luxury of turning back no more. The need to put a smile on my parents face for toiling and training me even with my excesses. Its not about me alone anymore, there're others to consider.

bjcole: so u dnt it will get to this point when u started, u ignited fire because of fun, with another man's wife, u wan come run. U r also married abi, d koboko u use for another man is surely coming 2 u, no worry at all.

SMH!!! Can you quote where I stated I intentionally started anything or ignited any fire? Read your bible more often. . .an unmerited curse is ineffective!

Bebetter: Stuuned! not "stunt" bros try and read your macmillian english textbook once in a while...

Are you any better? Correct without insulting, btw its stunned!!!

Na wah for Nigerians and our big-man mentality. If you can support your self/family with what you do what is wrong in doing it? Must everyone end up Engineers/Doctors/Bankers? There is dignity in labour, so long as you are not into something illegal, do what you have to do to get yourself going.

I was recently on a training and the head instructor who was a respected figure in the industry offered to take us around the country on a tour. His young son came along and he informed us he's a long distance truck driver, if na naija, peeps will be like. . . how can u allow your only son to be a truck driver when you're one of the most respected brains in industrial Safe guard systems.

Granted, our leaders have failed us. We shouldn't continue to promote this culture of I'm above this or that, worse still, run others down simply because they chose to better their lots in life in their own way (Dangote drivers).

Of-course, I knew ur question was rhetoric hence my smiley. Perhaps we'll meet on politics or any other forum. I don't want T-girl getting pissed with our banters on her thread. So long now.

coogar: insult? where's the insult?
youngdady - are you this sensitive? if i tender an apology, would you accept it?

Nope! Don't need it!

Dede1: Let me inform you there is nothing worth thinking of someone’s moniker. If BZM woke one morning and declare independence, why must such action disturb anybody? Federal government does not own Nigeria but people do. In addition, when certain people who collectively have stake on the entity call Nigeria decide to leave the union, it is imperative to set them loose unless there is unavoidable fear lucking somewhere.

If the BZM could not handle problem that comes with a republic and start dying of hunger, all Nigerians own them is to say-I told you so. I think you will agree with me that it will be a display of idiocy if one should resort to violence to stop a roommate who has decided to seek accommodation someplace else.

Dede1, I can see you've decided to do away with the insults, good! Now, I've never indicated I'd prefer any group remain in an unwanted union, however the way the issue is resolved calls for concern.

No group should unilaterally leave without mutual understanding/agreement of all concerned parties, reason is quite simple: to forestall breakdown of law and order in the sense that deciding to leave without clearly stating the terms of secession will not augur well (even in BATTLE, there is rule of engagement).

There're lots of things to put in perspective, who wants to go/stay, boundary adjustments etc.

Its not what we just do without thought process and engaging all stake holders. Anyways, a civil discourse like what we're having now could also go a long way in righting a lot of wrongs.

But deep down in me, I'd rather we resolve and come to an amicable solution.

@ Coogar: I read your replies and I could deduce 2 things, 1. You like to play to the gallery with your supposedly evolved way of thinking. . . keep it up, you must have enough fans by now.

2. Your paradigm is a bit different(guessing you're not based in naija)you're an idealist and not necessarily a realist, its cool to stick to what you believe in, its also wise to observe the politics of anywhere you find yourself.

I noticed your loose use of insult in your first response to my post, it was even more profound here in your 2nd response, lemmie ask you. . . has this added to your personality in any way? Has it improved the way you view yourself? Any +ve impact from you to your immediate surrounding with all you've typed so far?

Stranded dude/babe: hi, pls can u just help me to junction?
Me: Sure y not?
5 mins later approaching junction
Stranded dude/babe: pls, pls, are u going up to that bus-stop over there?
Me:Praying silently (God nor let am 1-chance me inside motor wey I take my money buy ooooh!) quickly makes a mental note to spell out drop point 4 anyone he offers lift henceforth

The one that really baffled me was a lady I helped @ night @ my place of work, even during daytime getting cab might be tasking not to talk of almost 9 pm, after helping her avoid very long distance of trekking, she told me I could have helped her to the next bustop which would have clearly taken me out of my purported route, now-a-days, I seldom help ooooh!

Tgirl4real: @ Youndady,

Thatz d way to go o before she pour sand sand 4 ya garri. U need to be careful cos it's clear she wants a taste of ya kini.

Ahahaha, madam dey collect all my kini b4 I start out in the morning so she'll never get that. I appreciate all thesame.

For us wey don enter am I say all the best. For intending couples, I don't advice doing it. As understanding as my wife is, I still need to explain why I'm not doing somethings on a grandscale simply cos she knows I can afford it.

Meanwhile dad thought me to not to live out all my earnings. So I gats use my head placate her small and show her the need to be more frugal with spending.

She's the understanding type, I did it once oooooh! She keeps reminding me of it sha even afetr I've quit drinking.

dl_jbd: Lol...is dt y shez all HIGH? Being HIGH doesnt last u knw

Lets just say she's confident, for me she's ahead of 1st position!

Patdedon: Ibo girls are beautiful Õoooº°˚ ˚°º..

Roger that! You never forget their eyeballs!

@ topic: Yes oooh! It means generational wealth, my dad's doing good even after retirement, I'm doing better than he ever did, by God's grace my son will eclipse both of us.

Horayce: No. I hate my native name. A senseless name with god in it. I don't even care to know what it means and when people ask I tell them that

Bros, change it if you don't feel comffy with it. Don't know what your religious inclination is but some would tell you it connotes. . . !%!@%#$@$@^$

nekaa: That A.B.U gal........werrin do her

Nothing do her! Infact she nor get rival presently!!!

coogar: she's just lonely.....
why minimise the interaction? there's nothing wrong with 2 grown adults discuss sensitive marital topics - it seems you are the one displaying immature traits here - the lady is married and she knows you know her status - so why are you getting your knickers in a twist?

T-girl, abeg nor vex if I seem to be all over ur thread, pls accomodate me. I took ur advise and asked her to talk to her hubby, her response: can't talk 2 hubby all the time, moreover I like talking to u.


@ Coogar, bros I didn't yarn every the other time so lemmie take time to expatiate further. In the begining, she always kept an imaginary line she never crossed in between us. But now she sees nothing wrong in her boobs/bums brushing my body parts (privates inclusive), her hands gripping mine when we discussing.

She's always eager to lemmie know whats happening in the office, blindly comes to my defence even when I know I'm in the wrong. . . .


You're free to call me old fashioned but its getting funny, I've even caught some senior male colleagues eyeing me like. . . young man be kiaful ooooh! The last straw was when she told me herself that a male colleague of ours asked her why she's always seen with me like every single free moment she has. (It also didn't help that I singled her out for lots of presents last time I travelled out of the country, that one sef get hin own story oooh) My broda, my coy na big one wth lots of ogas, ur rep can go up in flames for all the wrong reasons if u not careful (it has nothing to do with competence).

Well, like I said earlier I've minimized my contact with her, she doesn't like it but she's coping.

Jet-lagged gini? Too exicted to be jet lagged. I flew business sha, maybe cause the sitting arrangement was comffy.

God! What is wrong with the youths? And we dare to blame old politicians Na wa ooooh!

@ Eziachi & Dede1, like I said earlier, I don't do insult and I truly hope you can make a post devoid of bitterness, self-aggrandizement and your purportedly superior and misplaced logic.

Eziachi cited the current U.K-Scotland relationship as regards Scotland having a country of their own, he however failed to quote where Scotland declared the repuBlic of Scotland before entering a round table discussion with the U.K. . . ooops I forgot, thats not the due process. Can you say same for those declaring Biarfa republic before even agreeing to a referendum

As for you, Dede1, with my little understanding of IGBO Dede is associated with elderly or respected. You've not respecetd yourself or acted elderly as far as I can see. Be that as it may, please explain to me, when a group BZM, insist on having their own country just by waking up some day and declaring a republic without recourse to the aftermath of such action and another group (FG) is ready to vehemently oppose the actions of the first group(and rightly so) since due process wasn't followed even though FG COULD EASILY HAVE INVITED THE GROUP FOR DISCUSSION WHICH IT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DO OR NOT DEPENDING ON THE SINCERRITY OF BZM, does this not amount to war mongering

IF I SENSE INSULT IN YOUR RESPONSE I MIGHT BE FORCED TO IGNORE!!!

Dede1: Do you not think it is an act of idiocy to resort to war simply because a group of people expresses desire to have a country they can call home? It is an act of barbarism to go to war because Biafrans or Igbo want a nation state out of Nigeria. I hope you are not as foolish as you write.

I don't do insult, I reason constructively. Read my post again, comprehend and then respond.