₦airaland Forum

I know that even me ma EFCC go find me one day...
Because I am not an APC member...

This guys no go kill us...

The truth is yet to be revile..

Haha

Ummmmm

Ummmmmm

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means... Without Information, Fighting Everytime! WIFE says: No darling , it means :- With Idiot For Ever
������

Avengers-endgame

Lesson #1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.



When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, Who was that?


It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies.



Great, the husband says, did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson #2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.



The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129?



The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.



The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129?



The priest apologized, Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.



Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.


On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lesson #3:

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.



The Genie says, I'll give each of you just one wish.


Me first! Me first! says the administration clerk. I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Puff! She's gone.

Me next! Me next! says the sales representative. I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. Puff! He's gone.



OK, you're up, the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, I want those two back in the office after lunch.

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson #4:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy.


Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings? replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.



The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.


The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson #5:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.



A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!



THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
������

Niaja no worry God..

Next match no lose hope....

Is not always to win....with out losing...

Besides you have 7-point

Guy come to Adamawa state....and u will experience good electricity 24/7.......u can get accommodation at prize of 30k annually...

Ibile.........zlatan

Nice one man...

More grace..

Roving from grass to grace...

Long life bro..

Wife is busy packing her clothes.

Man: And where are you going?

Wife: I'm moving to my mother.

Husband also starts packing.

Wife: And where do you think your going?

Husband: I'm also moving to my mother.

Wife: And what about the kids?

Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother then I guess they must also move to their mother....
����∆∆∆

This people.. Again may them die...Na them the corrupte our nation...... May them go°

GUARD: Aha! Ive caught you red-handed! stealing fishes.AKPOS: What do you mean by red-handed?GUARD: Youve got a bucket full of fish right here, you can not talk your way out of it this time.AKPOS: Oh, you dont understand, Ive not stolen a thing. These are my pet fishes. I bring them to the reservoir once a week for exercise. After they've had a good swim, they come back to the bucket and we go back home. I can prove it.Akpos dipped the bucket in and the fishes swam away. They both stood in silence for 20, 30, 40 minutes.. No sign of the fish coming back to the bucket.GUARD: Aha, you lying rogue! You stole those fishes?AKPOS: What fishes? Where is your proof?
����∆

This pastors of nawer days...we are they always after our bebs?

I start to suspect our pastor in church..

E-money....and E-wife

This SARS of a people that do this should go to prison too.

Because is agains the construction of Nigeria.

I believe u sister. The real age for dis that things..

Is when u get married.

Because up to now my girl friend is not yet being defile..

I just like this guy.

Guys. You know say Na woman spoil this world. I heat ladies.. I rather carry my dog dey waka with it than to carry lady.

See you

If we dey do it. You ma you wan join. Barawu

Yes woooo.

A pastor was preaching about death to his congregation. He said, "One day, every member of this church is going to die!" Akpos, who sat in the front row laughed at the excessively at the pastor. The pastor repeated it. "I said, one day, every member of this church is going to die!" Again the boy laughed out loud. The irritated pastor asked Akpos, "Son, what's so funny about that?"The boy said, "I'm not a member of this church!
����

But you can try to be sub-perfect.........................

Oga boss....we trust you......ours is ours....[color=#990000][/color]