₦airaland Forum

obongproff:
Nice essay. But e make sense sha

In what sense, please?

major466:
It's their loss. Funny how some men rain insults on girls who chose not to compromise their dignity.

Very true!

Sometimes I had to really 'go ghetto' on their azzes before they left me alone.

lafflaff123:
Whats your name? you are a trouble maker.

lol

I'm curious...that's all.

To me, it's always interesting to come across another's viewpoint and experiences.

major466:
This got me cracking
Anyway in Nigeria, the word ugly is irrelevant as long as you have a fat bank account.

Over here, some women will not give an "aesthetically challenged" man the time of day, no matter how fat his bank account is or who he is. And you can forget it, if it's an old geezer.

As a woman, in my dating years, I was approached numerous times by such men, thinking that I would just drop my panties because they drove a snazzy car, dressed well and flashed money. NOPE!!!

Hmmm...looking back...some of these men rained all kinds of nasty names down on my head, because I didn't fall for their bait.

Ahhh...memories!!!

Mondisweets:
OP did any one call you ugly?

No...I've never been called ugly.

However, I do know that most of the women I've known pre-marriage and post-marriage refuse/d to date Nigerian/African men because they deem them too black and ugly.

Also, there is a saying over here: "Think about how your kids are going to come out!" when deciding who to date and mate with.

Shallow?

Absolutely!

Looks trump character in some women's minds over here.

And that's why you see some of them in the deplorable conditions they're in.

lafflaff123:
You a man is asking me another man how a man is raped? You got like some perverted mind and want to get off reading the description here? There are some perverted questions you don't ask in public.

I'm a woman.

And as a woman I would like to know how a woman can rape a man - from a man - not just a website.

The Problem With Single African Women
BY Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

Generally speaking, African women in the Diasporas spends eternity waiting and or searching for Mr. Perfect — when human perfection is an illusion; and that a second group allows cultural considerations to influence their lives. As humane as the African culture is, certain aspects of it are energy sapping and regressive; therefore, these women should not subject themselves to its demands.

Most African women (in the Diasporas) put themselves in the situation in which they find themselves by virtue of their supercilious attitude. Most can’t even tell what it is they want and what they want in a man and in a relationship. They are confused and can’t decide whether they are Africans or are “non-Africans” living in the West. These women want to be co-captains, coequals and at the same time quote Oprahisms or threaten you with the intervention of the social service or the police if you tell them to behave like a wife. No man in his right mind will go near such a woman — unless by mistake, he was drunk or was desperate for something!

Most of these women spend a great deal of their valuable time searching for Mr. Right. Sometimes, what a woman need is “Mr. OK,” and not “Mr. Right” or “Mr. Perfect;” and so they become blind or too engrossed with their trivial requirements — so much so that they wouldn’t recognize Mr. Right even if he came along. Such women come to their senses only when it is too late. This gives rise to the phenomenon of women complaining: “There are no good men around…” Oops, ladies, he was right there all along but was too shallow to recognize a good thing!

Every Nigerian man I know would rather marry a Nigerian woman. The same can be said of all the African men that I know. But sadly — and this is especially so in the last decade or so — these women want to know the type of car one drives, whether one lives in a home with a 2-car-garage or in an apartment, ones salary and investments and so on and so forth. They want men with exotic cars, Armani suits, Gucci watch, Italian-snake shoes and a cellar full of French wines. They want a ready-made man — never a struggling man with potentials who is decent, loving, and morally and ethically upright.

The educated African women — the PhD holders, the lawyers, medical doctors, masters of this and masters of that and their likes are among the snootiest. These same women complain about Black men going after White women! The sad truth is that, more often than not, the White women are ready to “work with you,” but not so for the vast majority (of a small number of African women). And then they wonder why more and more Black men are ensconced with non-African women? Their demands have, in some cases, driven feeble-hearted African men to commit the unthinkable. Today, especially in places like Houston, Chicago, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and Los Angeles, we have a segment of Nigerian men selling their soul to meet the demands of these unscrupulous and greedy women.

The fault is not our women’s alone. Good gracious, Lord knows that some African men can be and are devilish, conniving, lying and cheating bastards who will take women for the ride and, if need be, take them to the cleaners in a heartbeat. Besides, some of these men would commit illegalities even without the women asking. These men live to please women’s narcissism. Still, I don’t feel sorry for most women who complain about the lack of “good men” for relationships or marriage. My attitude is that of indifference. And in any case, they don’t need my sympathy!

I wonder how many men they shunned, dismissed, laughed at and even “spit” at? I wonder. A woman can’t be that smart, funny, educated, sassy, spunky and fun loving and not have flock of men after her. But unfortunately, we have a small group of women who, once they attain certain status get greedy and dream pipedreams — waiting for Mr. Perfect to sweep them off their feet.

Yes, it is true that as Africans, marriage is highly rated and the unmarried women are generally frowned upon. Not so with African women who live in North America. These are educated women; these are women who probably believe in the equality of both sexes. These are women who, at the very least, have spent an upward of five years in the West. Therefore, they should know, or at the very least, should have known that as humanistic and benevolent as the African culture is, it is also a culture that can be oppressive and relegates women to inferior and painful positions.

Any critical observer of women knows that, in most cases, women are women’s worst enemies. Most of the time, it is women who are goading fellow women to get married and have children long before their time or long before they are ready and capable. In this day and age, do women really need a man, a ring, partner and the title, Mrs., to feel complete, happy and blissful? I don’t think so. I don’t, because one need not be married to be happy. One need not be married to have children. One need not be married to feel accomplished. One need not be married to have a wonderful life.

To feel otherwise is to stunt ones growth, happiness and sense of fulfillment. African women should stop worrying about what society thinks or feels about them in terms of their marital status. They don’t need men to feel complete! And for those who must worry, well, they should stop searching for Mr. Perfect or Mr. Readymade. African women should cultivate their own gardens instead of waiting to be fed; plant their own flowers instead of waiting for men to bring them roses. You are capable; you illuminate the world and give joy to humanity. Be you…

Source: saharareporters.com / nigeriansinamerica.com
______________________________

What do you think of this author's views on single, African women?

lafflaff123:
You can type that same question exactly into GOOGLE and get plenty of answers.

Very true...but I asked you.

A brief description will be fine...or...even a link to an informative website.

Why Are Many Black Women So QUICK To Call A Black Man Ugly

“He Too Skinny, He UUUUUUUGGGGLLLLYYYYY!!!!” “HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA”

“Ugly Mothaf***a!!” “HAAHHAAHAHAHAAHHAAAHHHA!!!!”

If there is one thing that I have learned, as well as experienced throughout my life, is that black women will call black men ugly at the drop of a dime. If a black man isn’t their type, or not up to their standards, the thing that’s said is never “He’s not my type…” Nah, what they end up saying is “He is UUUUGGGLLLYYYY!!!

What trips me out about it, is that half of the black men that black women call ugly, aren’t even ugly at all. They may not be attractive to that particular black woman, but they are not ugly. However, many of them are simply too damn lazy to give an accurate assessment of the guy. If the guy ain’t their type, he is UGLY. It’s as simple as that.

Personally, I think that many black women are simply too damn hard on black men’s looks. If a nigga doesn’t resemble some sort of celebrity, or pop media icon, he will be clowned, put down, laughed at and insulted. Many of them will be cruel as hell about it also. They don’t seem to care about how their cruel insults will affect that man afterward either. In fact, I think many of the reasons why you have so many black men out here who can’t stand black women is due to the ridicule that many of them have constantly received from black women.

I still battle with confidence issues due to the cruel things many black women have said about me throughout my life. It would be one thing if the stuff stopped at childhood. However, I find myself always being put down by black women; even as a grown man.

You could be simply walking, minding your own damn business, and happen to pass by a group of black girls. Now, keep this in mind, tons of non-black men, of all shapes and sizes can pass by black women, and you won’t hear them say a damn thing about these men. However, let one lone black man pass by them, and he not be up to their standards, they will clown that nigga to death; totally embarrassing his black ass in front of everyone around.

Then afterwards, you got to hear that loud ass hyena cackle that many black women do when they are talking about people. They make me sick with that bullshit. If there is one thing many black women are good at, it is DESTROYING black men’s self-esteem and confidence.

They are ALWAYS calling black men ugly. However, when it comes to a non-black men, I hardly EVER hear them call non-black men ugly; even when the man IS ugly. It’s almost like black women feel like it’s FORBIDDEN to say anything bad about non-black men. However, black men are always fair game. I am here to tell you this, you have to be damn near a GQ model to escape the harsh criticisms of black women out here. Or, you have to be some dusty-looking Lil’ Wayne Clone.

It just trips me out how the word “UGLY” seems to roll so easily off of the lips of many black women in regards to black men. To be completely honest, I really don’t think black women find black men all that attractive. It’s FAR too easy for them to down black men physically. They ALWAYS seem to find something wrong with black men. Yet, these women seem to have no problem, at damn all, dating average to outright UGLY men of other races.

I guess it just comes down to the fact that many black women simply dislike, and lack respect for, black men in general; because black women who truly have love for black men can seem to always find something good about black men; even the, so-called, “Aesthetically Challenged” ones. Or if they don’t find the man attractive, they will at least allow the man the dignity of not deriding his ass publicly in front of people.

It just trips me out how they can seem to judge black men to the damn highest standard, but have no standards whatsoever when judging a non-black man.

That is all.

Source: darkonesun.net
______________________________________________________________________

Mind you...there are Black men out there who are just as quick to call Black women ugly too!

lafflaff123:
There are as much female rapist as the men too, only problem is men are ashamed to make formal complaints. But women rape a lot.

How do women rape?

lafflaff123:
Personally i have not seen any video of a female getting raped anywhere, don't know if there are websites for such. But men involved in such things should be left to rot in prison.

The internet has nothing to do with it, as men have been raping from the days of Adam and Eve. Even in the Bible, they tell you victorious soldiers take the spoils of wars(women are part of the spoils) as sex without consent is rape and this soldiers just raped this spoils.

the only thing the internet has just succeeded in doing is make sex and perverted things to view more accessible.

So why do men rape?

Because we MEN Animals.

So why do women rape?

Because they are sick and need help.

So you believe women can be rapists? How?

Love doesn't hurt. It's the one you choose to love that's hurting you.

A Christian View of Divorce and Abuse
by Randi Kreger, author of Stop Walking on Eggshells

One of my Welcome to Oz community support groups is WTOChristian. Often, members feel conflicted about divorcing an abusive spouse because of what the Bible says.

Here is what the book Keeping the Faith: Guidance from Christian Women Facing Abuse by Marie M. Fortune (1987, HarperCollins) says about the subject:

We have always taught within the Christian tradition that the marriage covenant is broken by adultery or sexual unfaithfulness in marriage. The main reason that adultery is a problem is that it results in broken trust between man and wife. If the promise is made to be monogamous, then adultery breaks that promise. But we should realize that there are other kinds of unfaithfulness. Bringing violence into one's marriage is also unfaithfulness. Once violence has entered a relationship, trust is destroyed. If you can't trust your [spouse] not to hit you, what can you trust?

Anyone who brings violence and abuse into [his or her] family life is putting asunder the marriage covenant that God has blessed. The violence is what breaks up the marriage, and the one responsible for that violence is the one responsible for the breakup. The actual divorce is in fact only the public acknowledgement of the private truth that the marriage has long been since destroyed by abuse. You are taking steps to let other people know what has happened to remove yourself from a destructive situation and get on with your life.

There may be things in your past that you regret having done or that you are not proud of. There may be sins of which you have not repented. You may not go to church regularly nor do all the things that you think make a good Christian. But no matter what kinds of things you have done or neglected to do, you do not deserve to be abused, and God does not send this abuse to you as punishment.

Remember that God is present to you even now, and that there are Christians who do understand your pain, your fear, and your doubt. We will not turn away from you; we will not abandon you. We will walk with you as you seek to end ALL types of abuse in your life.

A preacher's kid wrote in to Dr. Russell Moore's website, regarding divorcing his wife on the grounds of personal misery.

Should I Divorce, If I'm Miserable?

This is an issue I have struggled with for years, and still struggle with to this day.

My dad is a pastor and has been unfaithful to my mom on more than one occasion. The more than one occasion she doesn’t know about and it will continue to be a secret until my dad or I go to our graves.

I have watched a mom with a life full of pain and full of heartache. I have watched the marriage vows be broken, and I have watched as someone is broken in a marriage. My mom is still with my dad to this day. As her response to all of this, “some of us were meant to suffer in this life”. I watched my mom battle breast cancer. I have watched her have no support system in my dad. And yes, I did say my dad was a pastor and still is.

Why did my mom stay with my dad? Because it was the “right” thing to do. Does my mom love my dad? No…But she still lingers on sometimes, helpless and defeated. She still cries and hurts. She still hangs on one day at a time. Why? Because it was the “right” thing to do. Being raised in a Christian home does not mean we are exempt from sin or folly. My mom is one of the strongest Christians that I know. But, my mom is miserable. A miserable Christian? Seems like an oxymoron. But, because of what she believes she has stayed in this “covenant”.

Now, it has come to me facing a broken marriage. Was there infidelity? No. But my wife has some very serious issues that she will not deal with. We have sought out counseling. I have prayed and cried and prayed and cried until I almost can’t do it anymore. We were told that if my wife would take medication we would have some form of a “normal life”. But she refused. So, the cycle continues and now my child sees the effects that these issues have on my wife. And I see my child broken from all of this. So, how much longer do we allow the cycle to continue? In the words of my mom…”some of us were meant to suffer in this life.” So, Pastor Moore (and other pastors)...any thoughts?

A Pastor Rob Erasmus answers:

I’m a pastor, too, and I have sometimes advised a legal separation as a temporary or permanent solution to unbearable suffering caused by alcoholism, drug addiction or some types of mental illness. It is a fact that sometimes it is not possible to live with people who have these types of problems. Sometimes, living apart is the most loving thing to do, especially if there are children involved. Ideally, the separation should be for a relatively short period of time as people are encouraged to work through their problems. As for your Dad, there are so many background issues I don’t know where to start with my comments. First and foremost, a Christian minister who is guilty of infidelity should be deposed. Second, if her church was a solidly Biblical church, the elders should have helped your mother deal with her husband. If unrepentant, they should have advised her to divorce him.

Source: christianmarriage.com

Note: Dr. Russell Moore is president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, the moral and public policy agency of the nation’s largest Protestant denomination.
__________________________________________________
What do you think of the Pastor Erasmus's answer?

If you were a pastor, how would you advise 'Preacher's Kid'?

If you were married and miserable - would you stay, separate or divorce?

How to Stay Faithful to Your Spouse
By 'Shil1978'

Are you one of those people who find it difficult to stay faithful to your partner?

If you are, you are not alone. There are many like you who easily stray and end up cheating on their loved one. Some get away with it, others get caught. Either way, the feeling of cheating on your partner can never be a good feeling. Even if your partner never catches you, you have to live with the fact that you've cheated on the person you supposedly love so much. It weighs on your conscience, makes you feel guilty all the time, and whenever you face your loved one, you know within you that you haven't quite kept the faith and trust your loved one reposed in you. I’ve never experienced this feeling personally, as I’ve never cheated; however, I would imagine that it would be an awful feeling. So, is there something you can do so you don’t end up cheating on your partner? Well, I think there are things you can do and here are some strategies on how to stay faithful.

The First Step - Know Yourself - Get To Know You

The first thing you need to do is to get to know you. Why you ask? Well, you need to know you because unless you do, you aren’t going to be any wiser as to what your weaknesses are. For example, there are people who tend to cheat when they are drunk. There are also some situations which make you susceptible; like being with someone you fantasize about for extended periods of time, alone, in an office setup perhaps. It is almost never the case that cheating happens out of the blue. In most cases, the circumstances leading to the eventual act develop gradually. Mostly, the person knows that they would end up cheating and who the person would be, who’d make them cheat. So, in many ways, there is an amount of predictability to it and hence gives you some time to nip it in the bud, before it leads to a situation where you end up cheating.

Knowing yourself, thus, can clearly define your weaknesses and help you avoid those situations. For example, if being drunk makes you susceptible, you should probably be doing something about it, rather than allow yourself to be put in that situation. I don’t think you would want to be in a position where you’d have to lament about not doing anything later.

Source: marriagepartners.com

Hmmm...where are the voices of those Nairalander women who say...

...they will never leave their husbands, no matter what because God hates divorce?
...they will only leave their husbands, due to infidelity?

Where are the voices of those Nairalanders who say things like this to a woman who dares divorce her brutish husband..."Some ladies are naturally stubborn. African ladies are different from Western ladies. They deserve it at times", "What guarantee does a divorced woman have that the next man she marries won't be worse?", "Who does she think is going to marry her at her age?", "Good luck finding a new husband!" "Selfish woman! No thought of her children!", ...whenever a thread or story pops up like this?

...and the silence is almost deadening

babyosisi:
He has been caught and the baby rescued
They found him in Mexico or so

Thank God!

babyosisi:
The man is an American
Heard from a reliable source who knows the couple

This fool is truly disturbed. You can see it in his eyes.

One of the most disturbing thing about some American men, over here, is their penchant for killing their own children to get back at the mother, as well as themselves.

They need to hurry up and catch this fool!

CityNG:
Assumption is never a good thing especially since I have shown that I am available to answer any question that you pose.

I am of the opinion that Nigerian leaders are all thieving bandits. They haven't stolen from me directly but I can form an opinion based on what I've seen happening personally.

I have clients that are Lawyers and one a Judge, I have friends who have gone through the system, etc

If you say so...

tit:
nigeria is our country.
you stay here
and die here.

If Nigeria is your country, then, why not act more like it?

If the Nigerian government thinks the US is plotting the demise of Nigeria or is suspicious of the U.S.'s motives, then show them out.

CityNG:
They actually ruled very positively for me but that doesn't mean that it's not a corrupt and failed system for others.

I'm looking forward to more sensational assumptions that you will come up with.

Your tone didn't come over as someone who was treated very positively.

What else was I to assume?

crixtex:
Obama messed up big time..... safe to say he also is a puppet... It seems d republican are berra off sef

The last thing you want is a die-hard Republican as the next President.

Who do you think is pushing for hard-line immigration reform, drastic cuts in financial aid and loans, raising taxes, etc.?

CityNG:
Exactly and this is why it's called a personal experience and not group experience. I have mo monkey on back thanks for your selfless concern. Now, while we're on the matters of giving unrequested personal advices, unto you I advice you to remove your head from the sand that you've firmly implanted it on.

So, because the American family court didn't rule in your favor, it's full of idiots and corruption, according to you.

So be it!

The more you write - the more you reveal.

Btw...If my head was in the sand, how would I know of the fair and just rulings some Nigerian men received in the American family court? Not everyone wins or loses, even if they deserve it.

Such is life!
___________________________________________________

Re: Your Links

There are always two sides of a story.

Corruption in Family Court doesn't stop with a judge or a lawyer-a mother says

Robin Karr-a Kentucky mother of three-who lost custody of her two younger children when a Texas judge labeled her borderline, and issued a restraining order against her, says that corruption in the family law does not stop with a judge or a lawyer; it extends to social workers and organizations such as a father’s rights group in Dallas TX.

See more here: http://www.examiner.com/article/corruption-family-court-doesn-t-stop-with-a-judge-or-a-lawyer-a-mother-says

CityNG:
Yes, I speak from my OWN personal experience, not yours or one that may be popular and I offer no apologies.

There's a clear difference between a civil servant that violates the law and one that operates and performs duties and obligations with compassion. As an example, when you clearly have broken traffic laws, a LEO can arrest you, give you a ticket, give you a written warning ticket or a verbal warning. So yes other civil servants operate with compassion without violating the laws.

I belong on a social forum where family law clerks and child support advocates routinely share the in and outs of the system. Many whistleblowers have also come out of those agencies.

The American family court system is a failure and I am not alone with this opinion. While we will continue this back and forth, I hope that you know you will never change my opinion (just in case that is your interest) as admittedly you're embedded in the system as an employee and not a client so our viewpoints will always be different.

Your own personal experiences can't speak for others' experiences with the American family court system.

You say you "belong on a social forum where family law clerks and child support advocates routinely share the in and outs of the systems. Many whistleblowers have also come out of those agencies".

Do you remember me saying that paid civil servants are being constantly watched and audited? They are. How do you think the American family court system improves itself and rids itself of internal corruption?

I'm not trying to change your mind - only giving you the other side of the story.

If your bitterness weren't so apparent, you would see this.

And I don't have to be a client to recognize unfairness in the American family court system or any other of America's court system.

But I still maintain that some of your fellow Nigerians in America, especially the men, don't share your feelings and are grateful as hell such a court system was in place, when they so desperately needed it.

P.S. If you had carefully read my earlier response, I stated that I worked (past tense) in an agency where I was in and out of the American family court almost every day - not now.

It's past time to get that monkey off your back - not healthy.

Zoharariel:
Yes, the Nigerian Army failed to provide the necessary equipment for the training because the U.S refused to sell Military Hardware to us & also influenced her allies to do the same.

As if we are not aware of America's Global Destabilization Program & the CIA's covert operational pattern.

We have not forgotten how the United States hijacked the missing Malaysian Flight MH370 & hid it in a Naval Base called "Diego Garcia" [In addition to violating the fundamental human rights of the indigenous inhabitants of Diego Garcia who were forcefully evicted from the Island].

We also haven't forgotten how America shot down the Malaysia Flight MH17 via the CIA in Kiev, while trying hard to implicate Russia.

Ghadaffi's assassination by American is still very fresh in our memories. Mammar Ghadaffi was Killed simply because he was trying to create a Gold Base Currency for Africa, where the whole world would need to convert their currencies to the Gold Dinar in order to trade with us, this would put an end to the likes of IMF and World Bank who have been preying on Africa for centuries. A Development Bank was also to be created that would prevent African Countries from borrowing money from the IMF, which again would be a bad business and crumble
their imperialistic machines.

Africans [Especially Nigerians] want Obama & the US Government to withdraw ASAP, the 3,000 U.S troops deployed to West for the purpose of combating the spread of Ebola as we already know what their true agenda entails. Thanks ofcourse to Edward Snowden. We reject Africom in whatever disguise they manifest.

In conclusion, we do not need America's support in overcoming Boko Haram [which by the way, have been hijacked by the CIA] or in anyway whatsoever. Russia's support & loyalty is all we need. The enemy of our enemy afterall, is our friend!

PS: Nairalanders; Please join me in bombarding the following "dickheads" representing the American Government in Nigeria via their emails and let them know how we feel about their hypocrisy, sabotage & treachery to our Motherland.

1.) Jeffery J. Hawkins - Consul General of the American Embassy - Lagos Mission. Email: hawkinsjj@state.gov

2.) Stacie R. Hankins - Consular Chief of the American Embassy - Abuja Mission. Email: hankinssr@state.gov

Please do not beg them for their useless Visa ooooooo!

Will you also bombard the Nigerian government with emails expressing your displeasure at how Nigeria is being governed?

Btw...not many Nigerians will consider an America visa useless and you know it.

Why do videos of the rape of a woman go viral?

What kind of person posts videos of women being raped?

It's not enough that a woman is being raped but to have that rape recorded, uploaded, viewed, shared, saved and re-posted numerous times points to a lack of human compassion in some people. Even worse are the comments that accuse the victim of inviting the rape because of what she was wearing, saying she was being a tease, calling her disgusting names and labeling her as a 'freak' or nymphomaniac.

Some say social media sites like Facebook, You Tube, blogs, etc. should have some way of patrolling what kind of content is loaded to their site when its loaded. Others say such a decision would be in violation of freedom of speech.

Do you think the internet is creating a culture of de-sensitivity and its own brand of violence?

major466:
Why are the US so obsessed with Nigeria? What do they want with us? Looks like they discovered something spectacular in Nigeria and are doing everything possible to get their filthy hands on it. And the only way to get it is by causing trouble for us? #OpreationKickTheUSoutofNigeria

The only thing the US used to be interested (obsessed?) with was your oil. The push for less dependence on foreign oil is gaining more and more support and oil exploration is heating up in America.

Why blame America or any other country for doing business with the Nigerian government? Wasn't it up to the Nigerian government to say 'yea' or 'nay'? Whose hands are truly filthy?

IMO...the Nigerian government is the one who is causing Nigerians trouble...not the US.

Maybe I'm missing something.

Whose country is it anyway?

If the Nigerian government is suspicious of the U.S.'s motives, then politely ask them to pack up and leave and never, ever ask for its military assistance again...in any form.

Anyways...more and more American citizens are telling Washington that they are tired of being the 'World's Police Force' and tired of risking American lives fighting other countries' battles and tired of their tax dollars being used to fight other peoples' battles.

Is Washington listening?

It better be listening!

CityNG:
I didn't go through family court system in Nigeria so again I cannot speak on that, I only speak on what I have a direct and personal experience with.

For the things you mentioned above, a lot of them were caused and enabled by the family court system. Before the advent of the modern family court system, americans were able to have good responsible families.

PS: One thing I would say is this, there are differences between the opinions of people depending on their involvement within the system:

Are you a paid civil servant who doesn't care and "in the best interest of the child" is just a slogan?
Are you a Judge who gets kicked back based on children that you send to juvenile jails ran by private companies?
Are you a District Attorney who is only interested in getting the matching funds from the feds based on the amount of child support ordered?

You say you speak from personal experience, yet you're painting the whole American family court system black.

This country was built on the premise that children were best brought up their mothers. Past laws reflected this mindset, so that's the reason women were usually granted full custody of their kids - could decide if and when the father could see them - could move out of the city, state or country - could just 'disappear' - never to be seen again. America still has good, responsible families. You just have to know where to find them.

Paid civil servants have certain rules and regulations they must follow to the letter. They just can't arbitrarily make decisions or hand down judicial rulings. They are constantly being watched and audited. Any civil servant who dares breaks the rules or is involved in unethical behavior is eventually found out, asked/forced to resign, pay fines or prosecuted. There's rarely a day when another snake-in-the-grass is flushed out and publicized, thanks to the media.

drss:
The US should live Nigeria alone. We don't need their help any longer.

Then tell the Nigerian government to stop asking America for help.

CityNG:
The updates are a non sequitur and already included in the original clippings.

The intent of the link is to show the idiocy of the corrupt American family court which these stories show.

Any sane judge in a non family court would have probably thrown the case right out of court right from the onset. This just bolsters my position to show that the system is moral damaged if it would allow a teenager to sue her parents for school fees.

First, the updates were given to show how arbitrary the American family court can be. One glaring oddity of family court laws/rules/etc. is that some contain little or no common sense. Yet why are they there and referenced in family court? Liberals! The liberal philosophy is alive and present, especially when it comes to children. In such cases the family judge's ruling may or may not benefit the parent/s.

Btw...that teen is nothing more than a spoiled brat with a sense of entitlement. Even when these kids misbehave, they still feel their entitled for this or that. They're everywhere over here.

Second, while I'll agree that there is indeed idiocy and corruption in the American family court, there is almost always an opportunity to appeal your case, under the same judge or a different judge in a different court, with a different lawyer, to get a another ruling. That's what the first video shows.

Third, the same American family court that you mock and claim is rife with idiocy and corruption has been of great benefit to some of your fellow Nigerians in America, especially the men. And while it's true that the American family court has traditionally favored women, the tide is slowly turning for men, thanks to fathers' rights groups, media coverage, political activists and lobbyists who are challenging questionable rulings that violate a father's rights and pressing for the removal of unethical family judges from the bench.

But think on this, without the assistance of the American family court, some Nigerian men in America...

...wouldn't be able to see their children, after a separation or divorce, due to the shenanigans of bitter and vindictive GFs and wives
...wouldn't have the opportunity to have their child support payments lowered, due to the loss of a percentage of their income
...wouldn't be able to sue women for the return of child support paid for a child who was later found not to be his own
...wouldn't have the opportunity to file against a GF or wife as an unfit mother
...wouldn't be able to gain full or part custody of his children and receive child support

Fourth, you speak of the idiocy and corruption within the American family court but what of Nigeria's family court? Isn't idiocy and corruption present, even more than in the American family court? Are women treated fairly? Do you think they feel cheated when the family court judge rules against them?

In any family court, there will always be a winner or loser.

Such is life!

tokunbobo:
Honestly I don't know what they (the lesbians) gain in inserting rubbish things into their toto when my joystick dey find where e go enter. Chai. The most annoying one is the gays, I don't know how they enjoy inserting their joystick into another man's anus where shit and dey pass. Chai. Maybe the lesbians don't have anyone to service them with their joystick as at the time they were caught. Police officer, pls let them come to my house, I will service them free of charge and they will go and sin no more. bik

Hmmm...

Why do some men enjoy inserting their joystick into another woman's anus where poo and dey pass?

Btw...

...a man 'servicing' a lesbian will not turn her straight...and...a woman 'servicing' a gay man will not turn him straight.

It's a myth.

It's also a myth that a gay man can turn a straight man gay...and...a lesbian can turn a straight woman into a lesbian.

CityNG:
Soem slight off topic readings for those that may be interested in understanding what I meant by making the American Family COurt system partly culpable.

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(CNN) -- It's another one of those "you can't make this kind of stuff up" stories.

A New Jersey high school senior sued her parents, accusing them of tossing her out of the family home when she turned 18 and refusing to pay for her private high school and college education.

In a lawsuit, Rachel Canning of Lincoln Park, New Jersey, asked a court to have her parents pay the outstanding tuition for her private high school, pay her living and transportation expenses for the foreseeable future, use money from an existing college fund to pay for at least some of her college education, and pay her legal bills.

At a hearing Tuesday in New Jersey State Superior Court, a judge denied the request for high school tuition and current living expenses. Another hearing will be held in April to deal with the other issues in the suit, including college costs.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/05/living/nj-teen-sues-parents-for-college-education/

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Neither Michael Ricci nor Maura McGarvey have seen their daughter outside of a courtroom in two years, but a New Jersey judge ruled this week that the divorced couple must now pay thousands toward her college tuition at an out-of-state school.

Caitlyn Ricci, 21, filed a lawsuit against her parents in 2013, shortly after she moved out of her mother's house, 6 ABC Action News reports. That October, a judge ordered her parents to help her pay for college tuition at Gloucester County College, a public New Jersey school, as long as Caitlyn applied for possible loans and scholarships.

The parents said Caitlyn didn't follow through on her part, so they never paid. Over the summer, Caitlyn transferred to Temple University, an out-of-state school in Philadelphia, Philly.com reports.

When she brought the case back to court in 2014, the tuition bills increased substantially because of Caitlyn's new school. Caitlyn's lawyer told Philly.com that the annual tuition bill totals $26,000. On Thursday, a judge ordered the parents to pay $16,000 a year toward that tuition.

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/11/student_sues_parents_college_tuition_caitlyn_ricci.html

UPDATES:

Judge Rules Against NJ Teen Suing Parents

MORRIS PLAINS, N.J. - A New Jersey couple does not have to pay for their 18-year-old daughter's college education.

More here: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/nj-teen-sues-parents-claims-they-kicked-her-out/'

NOTE: If you want, read the comments. They are quite interesting.

New Jersey teen who sued parents for financial support returns home

More here: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/03/12/new-jersey-teen-who-sued-parents-returns-home/