₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Same reasons why more women don't speak up against dating married men thereby contributing in breaking lots of marriages.

That may be true where you live but not here in the States.

In fact some married and unmarried women have lost their lives and taken each other's lives due to creepin'.

Chillisauce:
The bullies are here again.

@ Op , I wonder how you strike some nerves here all the time . I want to be like you when I grow up

Anyway, this nairaland is like Nigeria. For you to survive you have to know how yo survive in the jungle .
If dem cuss you, cuss them back. All it takes its time and your fingers . There is no civilization in the jungle

Me , I dey cuss o. When I started here, I state my opinion, dem go just jump on me like vultures. I don't hesitate o, I go cuss you, cuss your mama , grannies , ancestors . If you can dish, be ready to receive. Respect doesn't come with age. Now, when I comment , dem go just read pass.

Yeye fowls

lol...and my hubby calls ME feisty!

carefreewannabe:
Zboyd is back.










Kudos.

lol

Instigator!

My take?

I think the reason why SOME men – not just African/Black men – don’t speak up about the abusive behavior inflicted on women by some of their fellow men is because some are either afraid, apathetic or it reflects their past or present behavior or, the behavior of some men they know. They are afraid because they don’t want to be seen as someone who breeches the honor of the “MANCODE*,” especially when it comes to women. They keep quiet because they don’t want to be pegged as a “MANGINA*.”

Holding your fellow brothers' feet to the fire, because of his brutish behavior toward women is a BIG NO-NO - a serious betrayal of the brotherhood. Other men are apathetic, in that they just don’t care. It could also be due to their negative thoughts and ideas about women, most likely stemming from how they witnessed their mothers being treated by their fathers, growing up. Such behavior was normal for them. And if their mothers accepted the abuse and stayed in the marriage, it only cemented their concept of 'this is the way men treat women'. And the last reason is because it may be the same behavior that they themselves indulge in at present or in the past. It’s the “birds of a feather flock together” mentality.

*MAN CODE: Collection of codes, rules and guidelines every man should live by.

Examples:

Rules To Live By For The Common Man - Read more at: http://www.officialmanlaws.com/

Guy Code, Man Law, Bro Code & Man Etiquette - Read more at: http://itsguycode.com/theguycode.html
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
*MANGINA:

1. A derogatory term for a man who is controlled by a woman, thus has no testicles; a man totally controlled by a woman; a weak-willed man

Used in a sentence:

a. That mangina would never disobey his wife. b. That mangina just will not stand up for himself.

2. A male lackey of the feminist hate movement (Usually called a 'male feminist'), who views women as superior to men and always bows down to and agrees with women in an attempt to curry favour, especially that of his abusive, man-hating wife who will screw him over in the divorce court, ruin his life and reputation, whelp a child that isn't his and sting him for money for said child. In short, a man-slave. Almost all married men these days are manginas, and so are a slightly less number of single men.

Used in a sentence:

"Oprah's just a show for women and manginas, man!"
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Why do YOU think more men don't speak up abut violence against women?

NOTE: Yes, there ARE women who DO speak out about violence against men by women as evidenced by this article by a WOMAN.

"Domestic Violence…Against Men"

Women and children are not the only one subjected to domestic violence. Men are victims of domestic violence as well.
by emievil

Read more at: http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-ViolenceAgainst-Men

Some friends, even those who you have known for years can be a secretly envious of you - especially when it comes to your boyfriends and your spouse. They may be continually unlucky in love and wonder how is it you always end up with the best boyfriends/girlfriends and now married to a good wife or husband.

Some people's spider sense starts tingling when they suspect a friend may have a major crush on their BF/GF/Spouse.

So what are the most common signs to help you figure out if your friend is crushing on your BF/GF/Spouse?

1. Watch them closely. More than often their actions, poses, and facial expressions will reveal their hidden secret. Ask yourself the following questions:

•Does your friend hang out with your BF/GF/Spouse more than you?
•Does your friend seem to hover/linger around your BF/GF/Spouse and strike up more conversations with him/her than you?
•Are your friend's eyes dilated when they're focused on your BF/GF/Spouse?
•Does your friend act nervous and a little giggly or laugh more than usual around your BF/GF/Spouse?
•Has your friend said anything that may hint that they are attracted to your BF/GF/Spouse? (Ex: "Your BF/GF is really cute!" or "I wish I could find a good woman/man to marry like you did!" )

2. When you three are together, watch your friend for any signs of flirting or wanting to flirt. See if they laugh at almost every joke your BF/GF/Spouse cracks, giggles and laughs a lot more or stands or sits too close to him/her.

•Watch if your friend makes any physical contact with your BF/GF/Spouse. Is it flirty or just a simple, innocent gesture of friendship?

3. Listen to your BF/GF/Spouse and be alerted, if s/he says anything about how weird your friend is acting around him/her. Take note of any strange, suspicious behaviors your BF/GF/Spouse mentions.

4. Be alert if your friend asks you where your BF/GF/Spouse will be, if his schedule is full, etc.

TIPS

•If your friend tries to cut you off from your BF/GF/Spouse so she can talk to him/her then that is a big sign s/he likes him/her.
•If your friend tries to keep you two apart then that's a sign that she might like your BF/GF/Spouse.
•If your friend acts weird or giggles or laughs a lot around your BF/GF/Spouse, this could also be a sign she likes him/her.
•Hating on your BF/GF/Spouse all the time could just be a way that your friend tries to hide his/her feelings. (Warning: this could also mean that your friend just hates your BF/GF/Spouse.)
•Go and pretend that you and your BF/GF/Spouse have split up and note his/her reaction and actions. If his/her empathy seems forced or fake, take note.
•If your friend dresses to kill only when your BF/GF/Spouse is around it is a sign.
•Ask your friend what she thinks about your BF/GF/Spouse. Pay close attention to what s/he says and how s/he says it. If it's over-flattering or over-complimentary or his/her face lights up, take note and limit contact between the two of them.

Reference Article: match.com

cryptography:
if x=y=z and a set H £,{x,y,z_p} then it holds for all non-trivial set G.£ {Xⁿ, y} be a mirror of the function f(x) where {1/y<z<Xⁿ}

Translation please!

Are you single? Do you envy seeing happy, lovey-dovey couples, walking through the city arm in arm? Do you feel lonely that everyone else in your social group has a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Do you wish to be married, just so you won't be lonely anymore? Being single is not a bad thing. In fact, being single has many benefits. But for some people, however, being single can be a difficult stage to go through and can play with their emotions and self confidence.

How do you cope with being single and celibate?

How do you deal with the loneliness?

Some women say their mothers told them to NEVER EVER trust their BF/Husband around ANY woman, to be careful about moving ANY female into their homes, whether it's a friend or relative and, don't advertise their BF/Husband too much around female friends - single or married. Why? Some of those friends may be secretly envious of you and are trying to undermine your relationship, hoping to break the two of you up, so they can move in and try to snatch him up.

Some men say their fathers told them that if they had a good, fine-looking GF/Wife to not brag too much about how good she is to male friends, especially the doggish ones and, to keep a close eye on and/or avoid those friends who are constantly saying sneaky, little things to cast doubt in your mind about the character or loyalty of your GF/Wife. Why? Some of these friends may be secretly envious of you and are trying to undermine your relationship, hoping to break the two of you up, so they can move in and try to snatch her up.

What's your opinion?

So...the first date was a flop. You didn't feel any glimmer of a romantic connection. Or maybe the person misbehaved or disrespected you in some way which embarrassed and/or offended you. Whatever happened you don't want to see them again.

What's the best way to turn them down for a second date, without being rude?

donstevico:
the question should be how much have you given to the needy?

However much I can afford at the time I can afford it though my particular charities.

If you're asking for a dollar amount, that's personal - not something that needs to be broadcasted.

That's boastful, IMO.

So...what does your question have to do with greedy pastors who fleece their flocks for their personal gain?

carefreewannabe:
Shut up! You are too dvmb to be talking of objectivity.
Useles creature. Insecure sexually disoriented lap dog.

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/ntpee.gif

Zboyd, you should come and create ten new threads tomorrow and show these frustrated bunch of failures that they cannot even kiss your bottom.

lol

coogar:
so this isn't a direct insult at me? lololol. if you really have a husband like you claim, he would have told you what you spewed was an insult.



now is the time to go look for them & provide your evidence.



you don't have to be important for me to be responding to you. rich big men have conversations with their gatemen, butlers, chambermaids & drivers every day - it doesn't make them important.

stop getting ahead of yourself!

Stop lying to yourself, as to why someone you show you despise by your responses, yet choose to stalk from one thread to the next.

Now YOU can have the last word.

I have limited patience when dealing with messed up in the head men.

Type your worst!

coogar:
lobbing insults at you? zboyd, has it come to this? blatant lies just to score cheap brownie points?

you should be happy you have someone like me check your excesses. others would smile in your face & mutter expletives at you under their breaths.

i have nothing against you - just check the amount of negative articles you scoop out. some of us are not married yet - don't scare us.



i didn't insult you in the original post - i only asked you to tone down the negative ish.



that was after you implied i was a

•passel of signifying monkey
•foaming in the mouth
•rabid dog.




i don't despise you.
you are not that important. asking you to check yourself is not because i detest you.

Stop lying on me!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I said: And why is it that when it's topics pertaining to the antics of women, you and your ilk are co-signing each other like a passel of signifying monkeys?

I said: BUT when the threads pertain to the dirty birds of YOUR gender, you and your ilk start foaming at the mouth like rabid dogs and in more denial than the River Nile? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Where are they implications to •passel of signifying monkey, •foaming in the mouth and •rabid dog? Don't you recognize analogies?

And what of the other insults and nasty names you've lobbed at me in the past?

Another thing...if I'm so unimportant, then why are you responding to me?

Wouldn't your time be better spent elsewhere on NL?

Nonsense!

Bolade005:
Stop being bitter. Get a life, get yourself a good man.

FYI...I have a good man...a Naija man and 4 beautiful kids...so what do I have to bitter about?

How The New Pentecostal Churches Are Failing Nigerians
By Akin Olukiran

Wherever one looks in this great nation of ours, there is an abundance of human misery. The four dreaded evils of disease, squalor, want and ignorance are mercilessly ravaging our societies, with children, the elderly, the disabled and the sick, bearing the brunt of the impact. Our cities are teeming with homeless people and unemployed adults, disabled and sick people, who have become full-time mendicants, whilst our hospitals are crowded with children and young adults from poor homes, dying unnecessarily from curable diseases simply because they cannot afford the costs of their remedial medication.


The mendacity of a vast majority of the pastors is beyond adjectival qualification. Their capacity to use “hope” to extract money from their very eager congregation is worthy of study by the most accomplished American salesman. The Christian faith in particular emphasizes the pre-eminence of charity in Christ-like behaviors – to love our neighbors! It is an unambiguous admonition of our Lord Jesus Christ to provide food, shelter and clothing for the sick, widows, children, the prisoners, the elderly and all those who are suffering.


Where has the Christian ethos as exemplified by Christ gone?


Many of the new Pentecostal Churches in Nigeria are no different from sole businesses. The only major difference is that whilst the pastors take your money, you at the same time thank and revere them – some even as demigods. There is no accountability. What theological or moral justification can there be for a pastor in Nigeria, through the congregation’s tithes and donations (majority of who cannot afford school meals for their children), to build a multimillion Naira mansion for himself, buy a holiday home in the United Kingdom or America, drive a top of the range 4x4 car, and sending his children to a fee-paying public school abroad? Haba! I could hear some brainwashed followers scream! The truth is, this is no exaggeration. The fact is, from the founding of early Christianity to the modern age, genuine Christians have carried with them, a beneficial concept of charity that has had, and continues to have, a substantial impact on humanity. Many of Jesus Christ’s teachings emphasize the role of caring for the poor in the Kingdom of God (Matthew 25:35-40). Your expression of love for the poor and disadvantaged is an expression of love for God.


Luke 14:13 says “When you give a reception, invite the poor, the disabled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous”. It is preposterous that many of these pastors are aware of the penurious living conditions of many of their congregation members and choose to do nothing about it. There have been arguments about “elitist” schools and universities being set up by some churches, charging exorbitant fees which are beyond the reach of 99% of the population, who incidentally form the majority of the congregation. What is wrong with a church using its surplus funds to provide food houses for the poor? For members to volunteer to come and cook and wash up and do all that is necessary to make the kitchen run. Many people go to church on empty stomach, not knowing where or when the next meal is going to come.


As a born again Christian, I find it rather painful writing this. We have profaned the good name of Christ and have not been Christ-like in our behavior. Christ teaches us humility by his actions. He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:5) and even went and touched the leper (Mark 1: 40-42), to show his concern for the outcast, the downtrodden and indeed, the seemingly untouchables of society. The new testament book of Acts records that the Jerusalem churches established a common fund for the support of widows (Acts 6:1-6). Christians are further enjoined in James1.27 “to care for orphans and widows in their distress”.


The Bible is quite clear about the need for practical support for the needy. James 2:15-16 says “if a brother or sister is without clothing and is in need of daily food and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and be filled’ and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?”. These poor children of the Almighty God, who are being systematically defrauded of their widows’ mites should begin to ask questions of their pastors. We cannot be in the midst of the unimaginable destitution that plagues our society and feel contented with the excesses, frivolity and uncaring detachment of the so-called pastors.


In my church where I worship in London, my pastor is salaried and there is proper accountability with its accounts audited by an independent firm of registered accountants and auditors. My church’s acts of charity are reflective of our Lord’s expansion of the scope of obligation as exemplified by the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke10:30-37) which goes beyond members of one’s family, religious affiliation, ethnic, social or racial class. My church (City Gates) identified a need in far away Philippine and set up a City Gates Academy to cater for the education of children from dejectedly poor backgrounds – all for free, including free school meals. Many of the pastors in Nigerian churches who claim to engage in charitable activities of some sort are doing nothing more than an exchange of favors or sheer politicking. True charity is an act of graceful giving when you have no expectation of getting anything in return. More so, when the recipient has no known means of ever repaying.


A work colleague of mine (of Iranian extraction) recently said sarcastically that I would be richer if I went back to Nigeria and set up my own church. That is the gutter level to which we have been dragged by the actions and inactions of many of our Pastors in Nigeria. The act of charity is preached by virtually every religion of the world. Islam actually makes zakat obligatory and sadaqa, voluntary. Islam has established this institution to make concern for the poor a permanent and compulsory duty. Qur’an (2:177) specified eight categories of needs on which the collected funds must be spent namely: the poor and destitute; the wayfarer (traveller); the bankrupt; the needy; converts; the collectors of zakat; and finally, in the cause of the almighty God.


How can we profess to follow Jesus Christ of Nazareth who said “suffer little children to come unto me …” and our children are starving in the gutters, right before the eyes of our pastors and no one cares. Let our pastors lift these helpless and most vulnerable ones, for the sake of pure love, into the arms of God, for we are all His creation, from the same progenitors – Adam and Eve. The government cannot do it all, even in developed countries. This is where those who have the love of God, who have been mightily blessed, follow the examples of Dr. Thomas Barnardo (1845-1905) and others who were inspired by Jesus’ respect for children and the poor to establish an “ever open door” home for children where shelter, food, clothing and medical attention are provided at any hour of the day or night. This was once home to our very own John Fashanu (yes, John Fashanu!). The International Red Cross was established by a Swedish Evangelical who was moved by compassion after witnessing the leftover carnage of a battlefield. Let our pastors and churches begin to show some compassion and give back to their communities in the forms of practical social provision.


We have examples of Nigerians (non-pastors) engaged in charitable activities beyond their family or ethnic backgrounds. An elder friend of mine recently established a private Foundation to support the environment (he is from Delta State but supporting the people bordering the Sahara Desert in the North), provide scholarships for disadvantaged students and supporting a school for the blind. In his words, “God has blessed me and I want to share His blessings. The foundation is to give structure and permanence to my charitable efforts whilst at the same time giving dignity and anonymity to the beneficiaries”. These are individuals practicing practical Christianity. Let our churches and pastors take their rightful place in blazing the light of Christ in the relief of distress to disabled children and adults, provision of shelter, food, clothing and health for the elderly, orphans, widows, prostitutes, prisoners and the chronically poor and sick in our midst.

Nigeria will be a better place as we await the return of our Lord Jesus Christ!
______________

Akin Olukiran is the CEO of CAPS Ltd and can be reached by email at olukiran@yahoo.co.uk

Bolade005:
Stop playing the victim card. Coogar was lenient with the reply he gave you for the attack on his personality. Oh what a gentleman...

You need to get with the program.

Coogar has been lobbing insults and personal attacks at me for some time now.

And what are you anyway - his lackey?!

Grow a pair!

coogar:
this isn't a church, madam zboyd.

you started the insult, i gave it back in equal measure and now you are playing the victim.

Claiming I'm playing victim is just mentally lazy. Surely you can do better than that.

YOU are the instigator of the insults...case in point...you calling me a verminous cretin, questioning how I found time to f-ck my hubby...declaring my marriage abnormal...insinuating I had a bad, traumatic childhood...blah blah blah!

AND this is not the first time you've resorted to insults and personal attacks, just because you disagreed with my posts.

How old are you anyway?

BTW...if you despise me so much - then why even respond?

coogar:
because i have belatedly come to terms that simpletons like you need the harshest of words to get a message.

so you really expect me to pamper you?

It's called 'Home Training' - not pampering.

coogar:
the best? you think this is about scoring cheap brownie points? i am the type to tell the truth your acquaintances dare not say to your face.



who's looking up to you? who are you? we said stop the negativity you exude or don't post at all. if what i said isn't the truth, why are you letting it get to you?



you are a laboratory rëtard!
think about it for a second - if you have a loving husband who cares about you & pleases you - you wouldn't be paying attention to the negativity in marriages. you would be too carried away with the pleasures of a happy marriage to bother about the people in your circle that are married to beastly husbands.

which is which? what ain't you telling us?



you are a verminous cretin!
your mission here is simple - fill up the whole bandwidth with nonsense on the internet & create a siege mentality against men. if you are happily married - how do you have time to have created 200 topics in less than 18 months - that's discounting the 6-month data loss. when exactly do you get the time to fück your imaginary hubby?



but you have never acknowledged it with your demonic articles - why?



you can be what you wanna be - it just doesn't add up you have a natural relationship. so you tell us which arm of sëxual deviance are you?



you are too insignificant to make anyone itch - stop getting ahead of yourself. all i said was you should tone down your negativity. even if you had a difficult childhood, hold a thought for people like me who's never had any cause to witness the family crisis you grew up with.



i would rephrase that for you.....
opinions are like clitorïs, every cünt has got one. i dunno why you are getting high temperature for a piece of advice.

Why not act like an online gentlemen, instead of an online cretin, when you respond?

CashdownNG:
wow.... you really love fiesty topics sigh... come on... have a positive topic and win a lollipop from me... lol

lol

This is small shakes, compared to the debates we have at home between 4 kiddos, me and a hot-tempered, opinionated Naija man.

One time, the next door neighbor called the cops, because she thought we were actually having a physical fight. But we were debating the pros and cons of abortion.

coogar:
you? married woman?
unless you are married to a lesbian, there's nothing in your attitude that remotely suggests you are in a normal marriage. you pay far too much attention to the negativity in marriage for you to be in a happy one.



many don't want to talk about them cos you have talked & talked and you rarely provide solution in your monologues. what exactly have you done to reduce these issues that you claim are swept under the rug? scouring the internet to put up articles that scare off people from marriage is not how to go about it. if you once made a wrong choice of partner, it's your fault, don't drag others into your fückery!



so when have you ever showcased the positives of marriage? at least - a balanced situation report is what you should be arriving at. the message should be - "marriage, if worked upon, can be a blessing" but all we ever hear from you is doom & gloom.

you are happily married to a responsible husband but every other man around you is irresponsible, a lying cheat or a domestic abuser? you must be the luckiest woman in the world. it's funny how women like you put up a facade of a happy home & yet know more than 1 million friends having marital crises.




there's nothing you type here that we haven't seen before. the only thing you haven't done is to campaign that people shouldn't even marry at all because marriage is outdated.

i have never learnt a dime in any of your gloomy articles - at best, they are cringe-worthy, they lack a balanced perspective & it makes one think you have a hidden agenda when all you ever post is about domestic violence & marital infidelity.

i think you need a shrink to help you banish all the horrors you have witnessed in your adult life. it's people like you that become serial killers.

That's it?

That's the best you can do?

Now...when will YOU and your ilk contribute threads on..."The Positives of Marriage"..."Marriage, If Worked Upon, Can Be A Blessing", etc...etc...etc...if all you hear from me is doom & gloom (which is a straight-up lie, if you look through ALL my threads)? Why are you looking to ME to provide threads to make YOU and your ilk feel warm and fuzzy inside? Are ya'll's fingers broke?

And why is it that when it's topics pertaining to the antics of women, you and your ilk are co-signing each other like a passel of signifying monkeys?

BUT when the threads pertain to the dirty birds of YOUR gender, you and your ilk start foaming at the mouth like rabid dogs and in more denial than the River Nile?

Why is that, hmmm?

I have NO problems acknowledging the dirty birds of my gender - truth is truth. Some women can be just as scandalous as men.

And speaking of gender, you need to make up your mind - either I'm single, married, a lesbian married to a lesbian or a straight woman married to a straight man. I can't be all those things. All you're doing is making yourself look a bit dim.

And another thing, if my threads make you and your ilk's a-z-z-e-s itch so bad, then why do ya'll keep stalking me from thread to thread, name-calling, throwing insults, casting aspersions on my character and ASSuming things about me, without concrete proof, just because you disagree with my threads? Very immature AND dishonest, IMO, because you don't know me from Eve.

Anyways, opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one, so you and your ilk are entitled to yours.

No biggie!

Thanks for your response.

It's been duly noted.

Oops! I almost forgot.

YOU can have the last word!

Here are 11 comments on “Should Church Financial Budgets be Public?” from the Christian blog...tithing.com

1. Do you believe that it’s wrong for churches not to publicly display how all the tithes and offerings were allocated throughout the year?
2. Is there any scriptures in God’s word that supports your reasoning?
3. Why do you think some churches do not show how the money was used?

Comments:

1. Speaking Truth says: YES! YES! YES! Of course churches should open the books for the givers (specifically) and the public (generally) to see where the money goes. Why would they not want to share where they put the ministry money to good use? Unless they’re stealing it or using it to grow the pastors' own bank account, of course. Luke 16:1-13 records Jesus’ parable of the unjust steward, and the punishment for financial mismanagement. Since these “ministries” are so quick to claim tax free status (like the American Red Cross, The Salvation Army, and others), then they should be held to the same accounting standards (and punishments) of those organizations as well.

2. Bill says: Should church financial budgets be made public? My answer is a whole-hearted YES. I mean, when should the church ever not exercise full transparency with the very people who are funding it? I recently ASKED this question to my church and after coming up with several excuses as to why they don’t have one the tables got turned and I was told that if I don’t trust current church leadership I should join a church where I can. I have become quite disenchanted with the “seeker friendly” churches that want you to some how “buy in” to their dream…oh yea, that dream comes with a price tag–tithing!! I am saddened that Pastors aren’t willing to hit the so called pause button and listen to God to see if this is in-line with HIS will. But as long as people are coming to see the show on Sunday they can justify the dream that the pastor holds, and do it without asking ANY questions. To say the least we are in the process of looking for another church. Heck, it might be that we simply DO church in our home. I’ll support the local homeless pantry with our giving…at least I know it will be going to the very cause that Jesus mentioned in Matt 6.

3. Brian says: Of course, the church is a non-profit organization and the church budget must presented to the public if ever asked to do so. The church can’t be doing under the table money stuffs that are not right anyways.

4. Deb says: I definitely think the financial records should be made public. Our church is a large congregation that is growing every week. We are in the mist of building a new church, but never seem to be able to make our monetary goals. Yet every year, the senior pastors (all from the same family) buy new cars for each of them, and travel extensively around the world. One just got back from spending a month in London. Where are they getting all that money? From tithes of course. I would love to see the financial records!

5. Honesty says: Tithes and offerings should be handle with much respect. Respect for those that have worked hard and given in obedience. Respect in that the monies given be used to the edifying the Lord. Not leaders personal agenda’s, dreams or ideas. Doing so in an abomination to the Lord. If you are a pastor, teacher, prophets, leader in any form and have any influence with the tithes and offerings, ensure you are using for the Glory of God. I understand Pastors have to be paid, however, their salary should be established at the beginning of the year. Financial reports should be discussed in “Church Meetings”. As long as people can see that money is being used wisely and godly, they generally do not have a problem sowing.

6. James says: Hi Honesty, I suggest you look up if tithing was a law under the old covenant. If you read your bible properly and not be spoon fed by pastors who promote unbiblical money, tithes for profit, then you will see it is a big lie. We all know where all lies are from, not from Jesus. So before you promote a lie make sure which side you are on because God does not promote lies. Read Matthew 23:23 properly and see what Jesus said about it if it was included in the Mosaic law or not under the old covenant.

7. Bruce says: No matter what tax exempt organization you are, your accounts should be open for public scrutiny. Your organization is kept going by all tax payers not just your supporters, the money that you do not pay tax on is paid for by me. No CEO of a non- profit should be allowed to earn more that about $60,000 to $100,000 a month no matter how much your income is. This racket is now being duplicated all over the world by ministers who have learned the American model, it’s shameful.

8. Su says: I hope more people will speak up about this matter, I truly believe that it is important to hold church leaders responsible for clear accounting of church finance including spending. The members should be allowed to question and see the records due to the fact as mentioned, members tilted as obedience to God’s teaching in the bible, if the money is used as supposed, there should not be any secret to hide. In a large congregation, the amount of every week’s tithing can be very large. Allowing the finance to be kept in the dark can lead to serious temptations for those who can access it to misuse the funds.

9. Frank Rios Jr. says: What's going on in the church today is disgraceful; Pastors are deliberately misleading their congregation in believing that if you don’t pay your tithes, a curse will be on you. What a lie? straight from hell. The apostle Paul tells us that if you go back to legalism then you are under a curse.

10. Robert says: Should each member receive a copy of the church finance report?

11. Chuck says: My father ran a YMCA. It is non-profit. They publish their finances. Everything is out in the open. If my father once said “no one is allowed to ask questions about the finances” he would have been replaced immediately. My last church never published their finances, and you were not allowed to ask the Pastor where the money went. He felt it became his money the moment it was turned in. I left and am now at a church that discloses everything. Honesty! Openness! Nothing that will shame the gospel!

Source: http://www.tithing.com/blog/should-church-financial-budgets-be-public/

Related websites:

Pastor Hides Church's Financials

"My pastor and his wife keep the church's book. They did not let anybody look at the church finance record. The church financial statements have never been presented to the congregation. Does it sound right?" -John

Read more at: http://christianblogs.christianet.com/1124406098.htm
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Re: Church Financial Records

"Do you believe that the members of the church should know where every dollar given is going? Many times in larger churches business is done without many church members' knowledge while smaller churches tend to have more accountability. I have been in both small and large churches and have seen both methods. Personally, I believe that the members are giving the money and should know where it is going. A annual or semi-annual report doesn't really cut it."

Read more at: http://www.fundamentalforums.com/oklahoma-baptist-college/17989-church-financial-records.html
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New Riverside Church pastor Rev. Brad Braxton's $600K compensation prompts parishioners' suit

Call it the stimulus package from God. Manhattan's Riverside Church - one of the country's most illustrious religious institutions - is paying its new senior pastor, the Rev. Brad Braxton, more than $600,000 in annual compensation.

Read more at: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/new-riverside-church-pastor-rev-brad-braxton-600k-compensation-prompts-parishioners-suit-article-1.362491
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Is It Ok for a Pastor to Earn $600k a Year?

Read more at: http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/2009/05/is-it-ok-for-a-pastor-to-earn-600k-a-year.html
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Who Should Know How Much a Pastor Makes?

Read more at: http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/2009/06/who-should-know-how-much-a-pastor-makes.html

John L. Levy, executive director of the C.G. Jung Institute of San Francisco, has spent the past five years studying the effects of inherited wealth on 30 families. He concludes that many wealthy children experience ''considerable suffering and deprivation'' because they have little self-respect. ''It's hard for them to take much satisfaction in their accomplishments since they always suspect that their successes are at least partly the result of the wealth and position they have inherited.'' To let children grow up free of their parents' long shadows is the main reason rich individuals choose to withhold or limit their legacies.

Encouraging rich children to be self-supporting can be good for them. Psychiatrists say the lack of work experience not only alienates heirs from humanity, but also contributes to insecurity about their ability to survive without their inheritance. Very large sums handed over to children who have done nothing to deserve them almost inevitably tend to corrupt them and hampers their ability to make smart choices or live healthy, productive lives.

H. Ross Perot, 56, the Texas billionaire who founded Electronic Data Systems, a computer services company, and sold it to General Motors, puts it this way: ''If your kids grow up living in fairyland thinking that they're princes and princesses, you're going to curse their lives. Anybody who gives kids a lot of money at 21 doesn't have much sense.''

T. Boone Pickens Jr., chairman of Mesa Petroleum and worth tens of millions of dollars, plans to leave at least half his estate to charity; he has arranged what he considers small trusts for his five children and three stepchildren. Says he: ''If you don't watch out, you can set up a situation where a child never has the pleasure of bringing home a paycheck.''

Bill Gates is worth an estimated $76 billion. However, it was reported in 2011 that Bill’s three children are set to inherit a measly $10 million each. Says Gates: "They won’t have anything like that. They need to have a sense that their own work is meaningful and important. You’ve got to make sure they have a sense of their own ability and what they’re going to go and do. We want to strike a balance with our children, so they have the freedom to do anything but not the sort of money showered on them, so that they can go out and do nothing.” The remainder of Bill’s fortune will be left to his charity, The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which focuses on poor health and poverty.

New Yorker Eugene Lang, 67, for example, built a fortune of more than $50 million by founding REFAC Technology Development Corp., a high-tech licensing company. Lang paid for the education of his three children and after college handed each ''a nominal sum'' -- he won't say how much. Since then he has given them nothing but encouragement. Says Lang: ''To me inheritance dilutes the motivation that most young people have to fulfill the best that is in them. I want to give my kids the tremendous satisfaction of making it on their own.''

Californian Gordon Moore, 57, who co-founded semiconductor maker Intel and is worth $200 million, agrees that ''children ought to have a sense of accomplishment for what they've done.'' Moore set up small trusts for his two sons when they were young -- ''the sort of thing that let my older boy make a down payment on the house'' -- but does not plan to do much more. He expects to leave ''almost everything'' to charity.

Kim Kardashian, who made an estimated 28 million dollars between 2013-2014, just revealed she isn’t about to treat her child like an aristocrat. “She will have to work for what she wants,” the reality star declared to the London Standard’s ES Magazine in a new interview. “I was saying that earlier to my friends, ‘I wonder what [North’s] first job is gonna be.’ And they were like, ‘What? She’s gonna have a job?’ And I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Of course she is. “We didn’t get anything [from our parents]; we had to get a job if we wanted it,” she shared.

Singer Sting just revealed that most of his $300 million won’t end up with his six adult children. “I certainly don’t want to leave them trust funds that are albatrosses round their necks,” the musician told the Daily Mail in June. “They have to work. All my kids know that and they rarely ask me for anything, which I really respect and appreciate.”

Philip Seymour Hoffman, who died in February, left specific directives in his will, which was made public last month: His son should be raised in a large American city and “be exposed to the culture, arts and architecture” that such a setting offers. The will was created before the birth of his two younger children, but the actor deliberately didn’t give his $35 million to his children because he didn’t want them to be “ ‘trust-fund kids.” His entire estate went to their mother, his longtime girlfriend.

Celebrity chef Nigella Lawson has stated she has no intention of leaving a substantial inheritance: “I am determined that my children should have no financial security. It ruins people not having to earn money.”

Gloria Vanderbilt, who earned her $200 million fortune in design and decorating, told her son, Anderson Cooper, that he won’t get a penny from her. “My mom’s made clear to me that there’s no trust fund,” he told Howard Stern this spring. And Cooper’s fine with that: Unearned money, he said, is a curse. “Who’s inherited a lot of money that has gone on to do things in their own life?” asked the CNN star, who earns $11 million a year. “From the time I was growing up, if I felt that there was some pot of gold waiting for me, I don’t know that I would have been so motivated.”

Warren Buffett, 56, the chairman and guiding genius of Berkshire Hathaway, the phenomenally successful holding company, is worth at least $1.5 billion. Says he: ''My kids are going to carve out their own place in this world, and they know I'm for them whatever they want to do. Setting them up with a lifetime supply of food stamps just because they came out of the right womb can be harmful for them and is an antisocial act. Love is the greatest advantage a parent can give.''

If the children have been brought up right, they end up attempting to outdo the parents.

Sources: fortunemagazine.com / yahoo.com / hollywoodlife.com
____________________

What do you think about wealthy parents' like these who decide to limit or withhold money to their children?

2cato:
Though it the story is much. In as much that their are scammers in christiandom just like any other proffesion. But why using the action of just one percent of pastors who are scammers to judge the remaining 99%? Christianity is far more beautifull than these.

There should be NO scammers in Christiandom.

It is NOT a good thing.

TrollMan:
[color=Purple]Very stúpid thread. [/color]

Very stupid spam advert...but very interesting AND informative.

imas:
Lord have mercy, some of these Prophets are outright criminals.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...a light at the end of the tunnel!!!

GOD IS GOOD!!!

Odilafta:
Summary of thread;
Love gone sour. Zboyd would be like'' who send me open this thread? I don find their trouble''

HUH?

coogar:
i think it's about the kinda threads you love to put up. can you dedicate one month just for the positive things in marriage, instead of the negatives?

your topics mostly bounce in & out of divorce, domestic violence, infidelity & other marital vices. if this is what you see all the time, then i think it's high time you move away from such noxious environment.

Unfortunately, as a married woman, divorce, domestic violence, infidelity & other marital vices IS all around me. Long-standing marriages like mine are the exception, here in the States, not the rule. The breakdown of marriages in the Nigerian Diaspora has been pointed out time and time again, here on NL, other websites and offline as well and it's no joke. Truth is truth, bitter as it may be.

The marital issues I post about are very real in the Nigerian/African/Immigrant communities over here. These are issues which are usually swept under the rug - time and time again. It's all hush-hush. Not many want to talk about them, let alone acknowledge them. Why do you think more and more Nigerian marriage and family counselors are addressing these issues, in the Nigerian Diaspora? They don't want Nigerian marriages to go the way of Western marriages.

The positives of marriage are well-displayed in their level of happiness, longevity and the emotional health of the overall family. You can't fake that. It's the negatives of marriage that are causing unhappiness, separations and divorces and many immigrant couples need help navigating those rough waters. It's no easy thing trying to maintain a marriage in a foreign country. You know it's serious when churches and other organizations get involved.

Feel good topics are just that, to make you feel good, but sometimes they only mask serious issues.

The more you know - the more you know.

Knowledge is power!

oyihou:
Your right She is Bitter person

I Try not to Comment On Her thread because

Misery is contagious.

Just ignor Her Post and nothing will Happen.

To disagree with my threads is one thing but to claim what I post is due to being bitter and miserable is nothing more than a back-handed personal attack, IMO. If my threads pain you that much, why even TRY to comment on them? Ignore them entirely.

Methinks thou protest too much!

Oh well...such is life!

Btw...controversy is good...keeps you sharp...makes you think out of the box.

Arsenate:
zboyd you are a very bitter human being. I don't envy your likes....

ahn ahn...I don't do bitter...as I have NOTHING to be bitter about.

Now...why not just come out and say what it is you REALLY want to say?

I prefer directness, rather than beating around the bush.

Why do you say I am a very bitter human being?

What do you mean by "I don't envy your likes"?

Does this have anything to do with a character assessment?

Please feel free to expand on your opinion of ME - someone you don't know from Eve.

I'm not easily offended.

Thanks in advance!

Preying In The Name Of The Lord - Part 3

Today, false prophets in the caste of Muonso have multiplied and are in every corner of every street where they have either built churches or rented lockup shops as worship places. They manufacture prophesies for a gullible mass of miracle seekers. Their false prophesies aimed at profit making have been known to tear families apart as it did to Mazi’s.

A certain young man and woman in Lagos were married for 5 years without having any child. Then the woman went to her village in the east and begged her elder sister to give her one of her female children to live with her in Lagos since she had no children of her own. Her elder sister gave her youngest daughter who was 7 years old to her on the condition that her daughter must attend school. The sister returned to Lagos with the 7 years old girl and registered her into a public school. According to Pastor Praise Ehiemere, who narrated this story, the man of the house, a trader at Alaba International Market, was loose at morals and the wife was unemployed. The man kept late at night, drinking and going to bed with different kinds of women every night. Within a space of 2 years, the man’s business crumbled – there was no more money to buy goods. Hunger came. Things in the family went from bad to worse and the woman began to look for solutions to their problems and ended up in a church of which her friends told her that the man of God in charge was a “na’hu’zo” (a seer).

And indeed, the man of God saw. But unfortunately, what the man of God saw not in the interest of the 7- year old girl (who was by then 9). The prophet told the woman that the little girl living with her was the source of both her barreness and the crash of her husband’s business. The woman told her husband and they believed the prophet. First, they withdrew the little girl from school and locked her up in the house for several months before the prophet advised them to bring the girl to the church for deliverance.

In the church, the little girl was tortured by the prophet and the woman in an effort to get her to confess that she was a witch. Eventually, words of what was happening to her little daughter got to the mother of the little girl in the village. She travelled to Lagos and found her flesh and blood battered by her own younger sister. She took her daughter away with deep sorrow in her heart and swore that her relationship with her younger sister had been broken forever.

False prophets have been known to put a knife on the cord binding husband and wife, wife and mother in-law, brother and sister, and things have fallen apart between these people. They have advised pregnant women, of whom several scans and medical examinations had shown that normal delivery will not be possible, to disregard the doctor’s advice; that the Holy Spirit has told them that they would have normal delivery. At the end, those pregnant women had either lost their babies or their lives entirely.

Pastor Edward Olumese, the Senior Pastor of Amazing Grace Church in Kano said:

In the New Testament, God never designed us to be guided by prophecy of man. That is why he put his spirit in us. We are supposed to be guided by the spirit of God. Today’s prophets are supposed to confirm something God has put in our spirit, not to put something contrary. The issue is that a lot of believers don’t grow themselves to the point where they can hear God for themselves; they are too lazy to pray and study their bibles, and they need someone else to do the work for them. What will bring an end to this will be for people to take out the time and discipline to strengthen their own personal relationship with God. These prophets capitalize on the ignorance of people. I have come in contact with a number of people who fell victim of false prophets. By the time we got together, sat and talked, we realized that there was no way what the so called prophets said could have been true.

This is a time where there are so many challenges facing the average Nigerian today: terrorism, kidnapping, sickness, as a result people are just looking for anything that looks like a solution. We need to have knowledgeable about God and His word. The bible says that those who know their God will be strong.

Preying In The Name Of The Lord - Part 2

HOW CHURCHES AND FALSE PROPHETS ESCALATED

A few churches were known to be operating before the Nigerian civil war, which lasted between 1967 and 1970. Things started changing after the war. Churches started mushrooming in all the towns. All manner of names were given to these post-civil war churches. The situation was such that in a school, all classrooms became churches on Sundays.

With the rise in the number of churches, all manner of individuals, irrespective of their level of education, started establishing churches. Midway into the life of these new churches, internal wranglings rear up. The disagreements splinter members into groups in the once united church and soon another church is born.

Now, ownership of churches has become big business, and mostly family business for that matter. A man is usually the General Overseer (G.O), while the wife and children become members of the Board of Trustees. The church is incorporated as a business empire. Most of them are people who have failed in one enterprise or the other, and then fall back to establish churches. They make it if they have the gift of oratory.

A man in Owerri, Imo State capital, narrated how a self-styled prophet and head of a church brought trouble into a once peaceful home: “My family was most peaceful until our father died in 1997. Not too long after, my younger brother brought in a woman he chose to call his wife. I am now worried that this woman, who from all indications, is a good example of a woman married by hire purchase, dragged my brother into one of these new testament churches. Before I knew what was happening, the prophet of the new church accused us of being largely responsible for his poor economic status. My wife and I were also accused of changing the sex of the babies in his wife’s womb. They bought the prophecy totally and since then, the family has never known peace.”

There is also a general overseer of a church in Owerri who invites all manner of sick persons to his church for prayers and claims to have powers of healing. But when he took ill, he quickly rushed to South Africa for treatment.

Just recently, the timely intervention of operatives of Abia State Vigilante Service saved 20-year old Blessing Okechukwu who claimed to be a pastor. He escaped being summarily lynched by angry villagers of Umudinkwa community, Ubakala, in Umuahia South local council area of Abia State. Okechukwu, a native of Mgboko in Obingwa local government area of the state, claimed to be superintending over Divine Church located in his country home, Mgboko. He had allegedly gone to Umudinkwa on a “deliverance mission.” The trip turned sour when he tried to outwit his host family but was caught in the act.

Stories had it that the self-styled pastor went to the Agomuo family home to remove “an evil charm” he claimed was buried in one corner of the compound, but ended up trying to plant a charm in the hole he and his accomplices had dug. In the course of digging the hole, the fake pastor smartly brought out a padlock carefully wrapped in a piece of cloth from his pocket and threw it into the hole he and his fake prayer warriors had painstakingly dug with clinical finesse. His game plan was that he would carefully bring out “the exhibit” after muttering some incantations.

Nemesis however caught up with him as unknown to the fake pastor, a member of the family, Engr. Chinedu Agomuo, was watching the “religious drama” as it unfolded, while other members of the family were engrossed in the anticipated outcome of the deliverance. Chinedu was said to be one man that is not very pleased with the antics of new testament pastors and prophets. As soon as the fake pastor had dropped the padlock, Chinedu quickly disrupted proceedings.

The confrontation started like a slow motion picture but later gathered speed. Voices were angrily raised and when the fake pastor realized that his game was up, he capitulated and brought out the padlock he had wrapped carefully. The singing and speaking in tongues stopped abruptly. According to Engr. Agomuo, the fake pastor would have succeeded in creating a serious crisis in the family if not for his vigilance.

“The fake pastor would have possibly ended up accusing a member of the family of burying the alleged charm. This would have instigated the family members against each other and permanently created a gulf amongst brothers,” Engr. Agomuo fumed.

There was another pastor that floated a crusade in one community in Imo State. During the event, he announced that he had seen about five women in the congregation that had fibroids, adding that he had prayed for them and would want them to come to his church after the event for more prayers. In a crowd of more than 500 people, one hardly needs a seer to tell that there may be up to five women suffering from fibroids. Childlessness is another problem in the society and these fake preachers exploit it to the fullest.

Reacting to the antics of these fake pastors, the former Imo State Chairman of Christian Association of Nigeria, CAN, Dr. Cosmas Ilechukwu said: “Any prophecy that tries to put asunder what God put together is an orchestration of Satan to undermine the integrity of God and His word, as well as create confusion in the society. Such prophecies must be condemned.”

Speaking also on the issue, the Parish Priest of Sacred Heart Catholic Church, Akwakuma, Rev. Dr. Kevin Ugoamadi, said there is this new spirit of grabbing, which is worldly, very mundane and has filtered into the church and has in fact, almost overwhelmed the church.

“People just wake up one day and start a church. All kinds of things have been said about these churches: They do whatever they like; they don’t care. They have no code of conduct and no creed. They pick up any chapter of the Bible and begin to read so, there is disorderliness, lawlessness,” Ugoamadi said.

While saying that man is a religious animal, Rev. Fr. Ugoamadi however said that “the God we serve is also a God of order and interestingly every person wants to be rich.” He fumed that the get- rich-quick syndrome has caused a lot of problem in the world and in the church.”

According to Fr. Ugoamadi, “the establishment of churches has become an oil refinery and as long as you can convince people with your sweet tongue, people will follow you. The idea in today’s world has made them to thrive, to expand, to grow. People are suffering and they want solutions to their problems and these so called men of God are simply playing out the American wonder, the more you look, the less you see,” Fr. Ugoamadi said.

Continuing, the fiery priest recalled that even during the time of the prophets, there were a lot of false prophets, adding that today, the number has increased geometrically. “They are playing on the intelligence of the people. They have divided families, communities and caused brothers to be in enmity."

One person false prophets could not play on her intelligence was Edith Adenike, a 14-year old girl attending a church service for her dead father.

A prophet came and told me in the presence of my grandma that I will run away from home soon; that I will leave my mother’s house,” Edith recounted. “Immediately, I told my grandma who I was actually living with that the prophet didn’t know what he was saying. That was the beginning. We had a family friend whose family almost broke because of fake prophets. The wife was looking up to God for the conception of her second child, and she was told by a prophet that she couldn’t conceive again. Her husband believed, but she didn’t believe the prophecy. So he sought the prophet out for prayers, and he was told that unless he took another wife he would find it hard to leave any offspring behind as his little girl was asthmatic then and she might die soon. The prophet even went as far as picking out a lady for him. He would have married her if his wife hadn’t fainted one day and she was rushed to the hospital where he was told she was some months pregnant. It was then he had a rethink as regards everything the prophet told him.’’

A couple of years after her first experience, Edith followed her grandma to a church where a prophet asked to pray for her alone.

“He actually made passes at me,” she said, “He was even trying to quote the Bible to me, but I retorted with another verse of my own and he got really angry and told my grandma that I was possessed. This experience made me wary of prophets so much that from that day I counter anything said by any prophet. As I was about leaving secondary school, an elderly female prophet who sounded literate told me to tell my parents to wash my head with some concoctions just before I could gain admission to the university. I tried to justify her prophesy based on the Celestial doctrines which I had been taught earlier and I found out that the concoctions she asked me to use were to deter men from approaching me. So, I told my grandma who didn’t believe me at first and took me to an elderly prophet who knew his guns. It was he who confirmed what I said and took up the case to discipline the woman. He told us about how many fake prophets had destroyed the lives of so many ignorant people. I would have fallen victim if I hadn’t questioned her prophesy but there are so many out there who were not privy to the knowledge I had and could not question such prophesies.”

Way back in time, a certain family was not so lucky in the hands of another false prophet called Muonso, which means Holy Spirit. Only God could tell the number of families he had broken before he was charged in Aba high court by the department of Public Prosecution, Ministry of Justice, Imo State. By Sunday, January 31, 1988, when the prosecution counsel, Barrister Mbonu Amadi, Director of Public Prosecution, Ministry of Justice, Imo State, narrated the story of Muonso to his children, the criminal proceedings against this Aba-based false prophet cum fraudster had been on for at least two months.

How did it happen? Well, this is how Barrister Mbonu told the story: One of the daughters of an Aba-based millionaire, simply called Mazi, was lured into Muonso’s church. After prophesying for and brainwashing her, the daughter in turn brainwashed her mother who also became a member of the church. Then, the mother travelled to the United States of America where her other children were studying and brought them down to Aba and all of them became members of Muonso’s church. Finally, the millionaire himself, the father and head of the family, joined the church!

Having hemmed them in like cows in a pen, the false prophet began to milk them. The ‘milking’ came to a head when Muonso claimed that the Holy Spirit said the family should donate all their wealth to the church. It was then that the scales fell off Mazi’s eyes and he became alarmed and decided to pull his family out of the church and from the grip of the false prophet. To his amazement, Mazi’s wife and children refused to leave Muonso, and even supported that their father donate everything they have to Muonso as the Holy Spirit had instructed. In the heat of the argument between husband and wife and children, the woman and his children left Mazi and went to live with Muonso!

Realizing that water don pass garri, as they say in a pidgin proverb, Mazi took recourse to the law. Until around March 1998 when Muonso was convicted, Mazi’s wife and children who were charged along with him always bowed their heads to him at the beginning of each day’s proceeding in the court.

One of Mazi’s houseboys, Anayo, told a heart-breaking story of something that happened to Mazi on one of those days on a street in Aba. Mazi was driving one morning and saw his little daughter who was about 8 years old walking down the street. She was among his children who had relocated to Muonso’s house with their mother. When Mazi saw the little girl he asked his driver to stop. The driver stopped and parked the car. Mazi came down and hurried down to his daughter, calling her name. Immediately the girl turned and sighted her father, she ran off, screaming. Mazi pursued her and caught up with her and held her hand, repeatedly calling her name and pleading with her to hear him out. But the girl would not stop the struggle and screaming.

Soon, people gathered and seized Mazi, accusing him of attempting to kidnap the little girl. “If Mazi had been an ordinary person,” Anayo said, “they would have lynched him that day. What saved him was that someone in the crowd recognized him and confirmed that the little girl was his daughter.” As soon as the little girl was set free, she ran away, no doubt back to Muonso’s house, while Mazi shuffled back to his car, slumped into the seat and wept as he had not wept before in his life.