₦airaland Forum

italo:
Those men are not overseers of anyone.

Bishops and priests are ordained by the One true Church of God, not self-ordained.

Those men are just businessmen, deceiving people like you to make money.

In Matthew 28, Jesus was talking to the Church, not just any scammer.

I don't want to go into what any Jewish establishment might say...unless you are Jewish and subscribe to their law as true.

What do you believe in...let me use that to show you that abortion is a grevious sin and crime.

First, if you're familiar with any of my posts on the deceptive nature of some pastors, you would know that I'm not one to be deceived by Slick Rick wolves in sheep's clothing.

Second, even if the aforementioned pastors are "just businessmen" and "scammers", shouldn't they, at least, be in agreement that all scriptural teachings be the same - not different, according to what's laid out in the Bible? There should be no opposing poles. It confuses congregants - makes them question the validity of their pastor. That's no good.

Third, for me, I'm pro-choice. It's the woman's choice - her conscience - her decision if chooses to abort at the bequest of a boyfriend or husband.

Fourth, I'm not Jewish. However, I am continually amazed at the number of Christians who don't know or...conveniently choose to overlook the fact that, Jesus was born to Jewish (Hebrew) parents, circumcised as a Jew 8 days after birth, raised as a Jew, died on the cross as "The King Of The Jews", entombed in a crypt, according to Jewish rites, resurrected as a Jew...and...castigate Judaism and the Jewish people like it's no tomorrow.

Very weird...

On the website, Yahoo! Answers, a young man named "Jude" wonders who he really is and how to explain his heritage to other people.

He says:

"My parents were born in Nigeria but I was born in the USA. Where would I be from because, when ever I tell people where I'm from I just say here. Then the ask me where I'm REALLY from, like where my parents are from. I could say Nigerian- American but that would be long and awkward. Do I tell people I'm just from Nigeria? Because when I use to do that, people would get confused and think I was born there. I mean a Mexican person can say they are Mexican and, people won't really assume they were born in Mexico. What do I say?"

He received the following answer from a contributor named "Bob":

"You are American because you were born in America, but you have a Nigerian heritage and your ancestors are Nigerian. But you are a 100% US citizen. I think you could be classified as African American. you could tell people you are from Nigeria if it is awkward for you, but probably just tell them you're Nigerian American."

However, another contributor named "Kitty Sue" disagreed.

She said:

"If you were born in the US you are American. Period. Those people are ignorant If they ask more, you can say "I was born here but my parents are originally from Nigeria."
____________

Which answer do you agree with - or would you answer this young man differently?

Cutehector4u:
One, by posting useless topics on nairaland..

How is "posting useless topics on nairaland" going to mess up your life or anyone else's life?

Surely you could have done better than this.

Now if you had said something like an 'addiction to p-rn', I would have agreed.

What are some silly things men and women do to mess up their lives?

Shirley07:
The annoying part is the commandment by Paul wasn't even sanctioned by Christ.
Infact, 1 cor 7:25 & 40 opened my eyes to how Paul made some decisions by himself which weren't led by the Holy Spirit. No wonder he often contradicts himself but I don't blame him, he's human afterall.
However, what annoys me is when shitheads like TV01 and his accomplice start to spout gibberish without that plumeled part of their cerebrum able to decipher love itself is a submissive act and Paul's directiveness/commandments was led by the flesh/common reasoning and not given by the holy spirit.
As a matter of fact, love equate submission. You can't love without being submissive to that very person. When Christ says 'love your neighbour as yourself', how much more is your wife/husband who's your bone of bone and with whom you've become one with?
In other words, if every pastors out there preaches about love and treating one another as you want to be treated, all this form of strife and selfishness wouldn't exist in christian marriages. But, what they talk about is submission and submission of the wives only, forgetting that love equate submission. Hence, a husband ought to submit to his wife too, if he truly loves her.
It's a shame the blind have been leading the blinds since Paul's days...

very astute of you...

greatgod2012:
I didn't read that your epistle but i know that, in that particular passage, precisely verse 25, there's also an important message for husbands too, it says...."husbands, love your wives as your own body just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it".
Husband,
If you love your wife, you won't treat her like a glorified housemaid, for example, you both come back from work around the same time, you lie down on the sofa watching TV while she's both cooking and taking care of the kids, yet you complaining why your food is served late, yet in the night, you still expect her to do some bedmatic acrobatic exercise for you.
If you love your wife, you won't cheat on her, with excuse such as "she's no longer as sexy as she was when you met her", even after popping out 2, 3 or even 4 kids for you,
If you love your wife, you won't turn her to a punching bag, claiming she's too stubborn, she need to be taught a hard lesson.
If you love your wife, you won't abuse her emotionally and psychologically.
If you love your wife, you won't treat her like a trash, you would rather treat her the way you will treat yourself.
If you love your wife, you would appreciate her and treat her the way you want her to treat you, and also treating her the way you will treat yourself, knowing fully well that she's your better half.

Until husbands start to love their wives accordingly, they should forget about their wives' submissiveness, afterall, action and reaction are equal and opposite.

faints...

greatgod2012:
@op, how many thread do you open in a day?

lol

Sometimes my brain goes into overdrive.

Therefore, I post.

Maybe I need a blog.

^

vickyO:
When you expect nothing from anyone, you can never be disappointed.

I agree.

If...as a BF/GF/Spouse you have no expectations from your partner...when it comes to fulfilling your needs and wants...then you will never be disappointed...because your wants and needs have never been fulfilled anyway...so why should you ever be disappointed?

It's nothing new...you're used to it.

But...ask yourself this: "Don't you deserve better?"

Some BFs/GFs/Spouses get fed up with feeling unappreciated, undervalued, neglected, being taking advantage of, etc....so they leave...and look for someone who gives them what they weren't getting from you.

No more 'smilin' and sufferin'' for them.

Happiness is now their cup of tea...as it should be.

greatgod2012:
do you want to be a mediator

No.

^

--

“There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich

"Marriage is like a groundnut, you have to crack it to see what is inside." - Anonymous

onetouch7:
Ok

That's it?

5minsmadness:
And you know her before to decide that this is what she meant?
Zboyd you sha.

If a person can recognize their own personality traits and voice them, then that person has a strong sense of self. They know who they are.

They know their strengths AND weaknesses.

As for stubbornness, it's not always a bad thing.

The good side of being stubborn is if you have dreams and goals, a stubborn attitude becomes an advantage. Stubborn people meet hardships, disappointments and frustrations, head on. They keep pushing. They are determined to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve. This type of stubbornness comes from will and determined motivation.

The bad side of being stubborn is being arrogant, quick to anger and being close-minded. This type of stubbornness can mean refusing to accept your mistakes. It can be as simple as not saying "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" when it is needed.

As for Madam Jenny, maybe her husband likes her feisty. Some men do. They're not attracted to the meek and mild "Yes, Dear - You're Right, Dear" type of woman.

Btw...unless people know each other offline, who really knows anyone? All you really 'know' about a person is how they express themselves online. It's all a matter of individual perception, based on how they respond. They could be the complete opposite offline.

freshdude2:
Is this what you meant to write?

lol

No.

Will correct.

italo:
Because they are two different human being who, anyway, don't have the authority to interpret God's word to anybody.

They are both saying their personal opinions.

I disagree.

If both Pastors consider themselves to be men of God, they DO have the authority AND are commanded to teach God's word to their flock, as laid out in the Bible - no deviations - no personal opinions accepted. "Thou shalt not kill" means just that - "Thou shalt not kill".
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1 Timothy 3:1-7
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?

Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

But that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? Personal opinions and/or individual interpretations of Scriptures is why there are so many churches teaching so many different things that may or may not be entirely scriptural - yet all claim to be Bible-based churches - which causes all kinds of balls of confusion. Each church considers itself the 'True Church' - all others sorry seconds.

As for abortion...Jews and Christians have different views which definitely causes some hackles to be raised.

"An unborn fetus in Jewish law is not considered a person (Heb. nefesh, lit. “soul”) until it has been born. The fetus is regarded as a part of the mother’s body and not a separate being until it begins to egress from the womb during parturition (childbirth). In fact, until forty days after conception, the fertilized egg is considered as “mere fluid.” These facts form the basis for the Jewish legal view on abortion."

Read more here: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/beliefs/Issues/Bioethics/Abortion/Fetus_in_Jewish_Law.shtml

ola12:
I dont lyk hearin it, cos I'll den b lyk "wat m I suposed to reply?" so dey wnt hate me

I hear you.

Some women are tender-hearted but it's best to be gently honest in such situations.

Most men will accept it.

Others though can't and will turn on you, no matter how you relate to them that you don't feel the same way.

It can be a bit tricky, dealing with hurt feelings.

Proceed with utmost caution.

jennykadry:
End of discussion.

@topic

I was already stubborn before marriage.

Poor bloke. Sigh

I perceive that as a strong sense of self, not stubbornness. You know what you want, what you will or will not tolerate in a relationship, refuse to be treated like a doormat by anyone and not afraid to challenge pre-conceived male notions of what a 'good woman/wife' is or isn't.

Bottom line, you demand respect and expect to be respected in return.

And if some men can't handle it - too bad!

ifeness:
A psychologist tells a patient anything as long as it gets them better,bu what he tells them may necessarily not be true. It seems repeated repentance is a psychological cure or remedy for those who believe in Sins. The self hate and guilt of offending an imaginary being could be atoned or corrected by asking them to ask for forgiveness constantly. If that would keep more mad people from the street,i did go with it.

First, it's highly unethical for a psychologist to deliberately misguide his or her patient. This is not to say that there aren't unethical psychologists who abuse their positions - because some do that very thing. It's all about the money. And, over here, in the States, unethical psychologists can be sued for malpractice, if it's found they were less than ethical when dealing with their patients.

Second, when it come to emotional problems, the sin and repent cycle is generally ineffective.

Third, a consultation with a reputable psychologist could reveal an emotional problem prayer can't cure.

Fourth, an emotional problem is vastly different from a mental illness which requires a psychiatrist who may prescribe some heavy duty drugs to restore a sense of normalcy in the affected patient. Emotional problems are usually not permanent. Mental illness (madness) is usually permanent but manageable with medication.

Note: In some Christian circles, people with mental illnesses are thought to be possessed by demons and could be subject to exorcism.

Pavore9:
lt applies to both, none should take each other for granted for everyone has a limit to what can be tolerated.

When spouses feel taken for granted, they can be vulnerable to anyone who pays attention to them and makes them special and desirable.

MzPreshie:
If he's a great guy, and being the lesser income earner is the only problem, then it's really not an ish. Especially if he's okay with it. Most men aint cool with their woman earning more than they do.

Yes, I hear you.

On the other hand, some women's mothers strongly disapprove of their daughters dating and/or marrying men they feel are 'beneath' their daughters' station of life. They will find every opportunity to make both the daughter and the BF/Husband know of it, in no uncertain terms. A steady supply of such disapproval can poison a relationship or destroy a marriage, if the daughter can't or won't stand up for her BF/Husband.

Why do you think Pastor T.B. Joshua and Pastor Chris Oyakhilome hold opposing views of abortion?

plaetton:
This is exactly one of the great contradictions of religious faith that I grappled with while growing up.
The concepts and cycles of sin , prayers and forgiveness makes no sense whatsoever.

If one truly hates the sin...yet continues to sin and repent...sin and repent...sin and repent...it may not be a spiritual matter...but a psychological matter.

Time for a psychologist maybe?

eunisam:
all i can say is,I love you nairalanders.

It's said that women fall in love through their ears and men through their whatchamacallits.

Do you agree or disagree?

How many times can you sin and pray for forgiveness?

Does the cycle of sinning and praying actually encourage sin, since you can just sin and pray for forgiveness?

It's said that to break the cycle of sinning and repenting, one must have a contrite heart, because a contrite heart will win over the sin. The sin can't go on forever. Eventually exhaustion will set in and you can't commit the sin anymore.

What do YOU think?

One of the most basic psychological needs, at the core of being human, is the need love and to be loved.

Love is one of Mother Nature’s most powerful forces. It drives us to do all sorts of daring and ridiculous things as we seek to find that special someone and strengthen the connection we have with those significant others already in our lives. Love is a critical cog in the healthy personality wheel of life.

Showing and expressing love, however, is easy for some and nearly impossible for others. Some people seem to have no trouble showing affection and proclaiming their love, while others seem unable to even say the words not to mention show the emotion. It is, however, very important for us to hear those words. Saying “I love you” is good for both parties but it is particularly important for those we love to hear us say it. Those who have trouble saying those words are often very loving people who, even though they don’t say it, show their love in other ways. Even though there is no doubt that they love you, there is no replacement for hearing those three precious words.

If you are one of those people who, for whatever reason, does not tell those you love that you love them, why not make today the day you change that? Choose someone in your life that you truly love and tell them today. There is no greater gift to give them and it will open you up in ways you can’t even imagine!
___________

Source: lifescript.com / Article by John H. Sklare, Ed.D


How important is it to YOU to hear "I love you" from the one you love?

Opinions differ over whether a woman commits a sin, if she chooses to abort a child conceived after being molested.

Two well-known pastors, T.B. Joshua and Chris Oyakhilome were asked this question and their answers are below:

Pastor T.B. Joshua was asked: Is it a sin to commit an abortion if you have been molested?

His Response: "Committing an abortion when you are raped is a double sin. God often uses foolish things to express Himself. Many great people and heroes today are products of this background. In any way, in any circumstance you find yourself in today as you are reading this, you have not committed any unpardonable sin. Run to Jesus; don't run from Him in whatever situation you find yourself." (Source: AskTBJosha Question and Answer session with his followers on Facebook, Spring 2014)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome was asked: Can a baby that is a product of rape be aborted?

Note: Using David and Bathsheba’s case to answer the question, Pastor Chris said despite David’s prayer and fasting, the child who was a result of David’s sin still died.)

His Response: "No child should be brought into this world by force, if a lady has been raped, it is left for her to make a decision of whether to keep the baby or not. If you have never been raped or someone close to you haven’t, you may not agree with this statement. It is never mentioned anywhere in the bible, to keep a child from a woman who was raped!" (Source: Christ Embassy’s Online Communion Service, Spring 2014)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do YOU think?

Is a woman committing a sin, if she chooses to abort a child conceived after being molested?

What if...

...the child is conceived through incest?

...the mother's life is endangered because of illnesses like maternal diabetes or preeclampsia?

...the child has severe birth defects?

Here’s the deal.

You're dating a wonderful man who treats you well. But you suspect he makes less than you do. You haven’t shared any income information with each other yet, but you're pretty sure you're the higher income earner. And you're wondering if you should get serious, and maybe even marry, a man who makes less than you do.

To help with your decision think about the following things:

Where Are You? Take a look at yourself, your career and your income and assess if it’s fair to hold anyone else to those standards. If you only date men who earn more than you do, you'll be limiting your prospects to everyone but those men who comprise a tiny percentage of the male population. What of the rest? Think about if your income is a fair standard to hold others to.

What Does His Income Mean? Why is this guy making less money than you are? It is because he’s not motivated or because his industry is just not that well paid. For example, if your honey is a middle school math teacher, but he’s the best middle school math teacher in the world and truly loves his job, then who cares what his salary is? You have a driven, fulfilled man in your life! Celebrate that. But, if he’s not bringing home the bacon because he’s constantly getting fired from jobs, can’t figure out what he wants to be when he grows up and hates every position he’s ever had, then I say move on and find someone with more earning potential.

Is This The Only Issue? Are you hung up on his salary because it’s the only issue between you guys or are you hung up on it because it’s a symptom of a lot of other problems between you two? If you’re head over heels with a great guy who’s just a six-figure salary away from being perfect, who cares? You’ve found love! But, if you’re harping on this issue because you have concerns about a bunch of stuff in your relationship, then use this as your emergency exit and end the relationship.

What’s His Future? Is your man just not making a lot of money now, but will be in the future? Most successful entrepreneurs start by bootstrapping, which basically means doing a lot with a very little bit of money. Once the business takes off, though, it’s a different story. Are you taking his whole game plan into account when you’re judging his earning potential? An ambitious guy with a great idea can go really far!
_______________

At the end of the day, the decision is yours.

If this guy is as wonderful as you say and treats you well, are you going to write him off, because he makes a few thousand dollars short of your salary?

Source: pattiknows.com

It is common to hear married women discussing among themselves that at the beginning of their marriages, they were very good and obedient to their husbands but their ungratefulness and betrayal made them, become very stubborn. They accuse men of contributing to making them stubborn wives.

Malama Maimuna Abdullahi said at the beginning of her marriage, she was very loyal and respectful to her husband. She did not say or do anything to hurt his feelings, and in the event that something distasteful happened between her and the husband, she would develop feverish condition due to fear and would have a sleepless night.

However instead of assisting his wife to maintain the tempo, Maimuna's husband took her simplicity and innocence for granted, "He abused my simplicity by becoming so overbearing in the house. I had no right to express my opinion on any issue, even if it affects my welfare. The house became like a Military Barracks where everything is about order and tacit obedience," said Maimuna.

When things became unbearable for Maimuna, she decided to break the shackles by protesting and refusing to accept things that were unnecessarily imposed on her, "Tired of his bossy behavior, I decided to set myself free by retorting and refusing to accept injustice done to me," she added.

Now because of her husband's inability to reciprocate good behavior with appreciation, Maimuna can reply and protest her husband's overbearing manners without fear, fever or sleepless nights, "Now if he says this, I respond accordingly without any fear and would have a deep sleep, snoring without any fever."

Another woman that shared her matrimonial experience, on the condition of anonymity said at the beginning of her marriage, she was very loyal and respectful to her husband. Her dream before the wedding was to make her matrimonial home a paradise for her husband. When she got into the house, she strove hard to have her dreams fulfilled, "Because I was thinking we were one, I could spend the last kobo in my purse to make our house a comfortable one. I used to prepare assorted dishes and drinks for my heartthrob; I adored him and kept serving him with joy and respect. I was doing all this thinking we were now an entity unified by love," she said.

Like Maimuna, this woman is now a changed person and she attributed it to her husband's indifference. According to her, despite her efforts to please her husband and make him happy, he was not appreciative. He refused to see her as a partner and while her income was for the family, his own was for himself. Instead of appreciating what she was doing, he was always trying to find faults with her, "When I realized that my husband was not thinking about me the way I was thinking about him, I decided to also keep aloof. I keep to myself by doing just what is basic in the house. I don't go extra mile to create a paradise for him. He is now like a stranger to me."

Are Husbands Seeing It The Same Way As The Wives?

"I partially agree with them because there are truly some men that are unappreciative of their wives good behaviors." Mallam Isa Inuwa, a civil servant with two wives said. "These kind of husbands kill the morale of their wives and by so doing, many unsavory behaviors will emanate from them."

He however, added that despite the obvious fact that desperation could lead to obstinacy, some women are by nature stubborn, "Much as I agree with them on this issue, I must confess that it is not all women that are facing this problem. There are women that are stubborn by nature and even without their husbands contributing in any way, the trait which is inborn in them will manifest and they will be hard to tame." He opined.

Another respondent, Suleiman Abdullah said women are having problems with their husbands because most of them are yet to understand the nature of men. He said a wife should not expect her husband to say thank you for some pleasant things done to him, "This is not because men are unappreciative. It is just their nature but deep inside them they are appreciating it and are even reciprocating in their own ways," he said.

He added that women should in the first place bear in mind that marriage is an act of worship and for that basic fact they should do everything for the sake of God. "If you know that obeying and pleasing your husband is an act of worship, you will not stop it simply because the husband is not showing appreciation. Keep it on, I'm assuring you that deep inside him he is appreciating but is not showing you because of his nature. You should do it because you are not doing it because of him but because of God and God has so many ways of rewarding good deeds."

Abdullahi said that the greatest mistake a wife can make is to be confrontational with her husband, "Whatever the case, a woman should not be confrontational with her husband. I cannot expect the woman I married and is under my care to challenge me on an issue. I can't take that from her, instead of challenging me, she should rather keep quiet and do what I want even if she is against it and can later on in a polite manner express her contrary view." He said.

He maintained that a man's priority during courtship is to get the woman and he can do anything to get her but after the marriage, she ceases to be a priority to him. How to cater for her is now his main priority. "So she should not expect him to be thanking her for every good thing she does and this is not because he no longer loves her but because it is not his nature to do that. But if she is patient, one day he will show his appreciation in an unimaginable way," he said.

Abdullahi who is married to two wives advised women to bear patiently with their husbands and do things because of God, doing so according to him will definitely endear them to their husbands and they will be rewarded by God. He added that if a woman decides to be a boss also while dealing with her husband, she will end up as a loser because it is unlikely that two bosses will live under one roof.

He further added that couples should endeavor to create a good atmosphere through seeking divine intervention because the devil is the enemy, "Pray for God's protection against the evil of the devil because of the role he is playing in matrimonial lives."

Source: allafrica.com /Article by Halima Musa