haslaw:



Da baka dawo da ita ba... You shouldn't have returned her to your house

This was your opportunity to dissociate from her. Her dad knows that his daughter leaving your house will most likely be bad for his daughter.

Your name suggest Kanuri and if your wife is Kanuri also, I would advice you to thread carefully as she could kill you easily.

Your mental and physical health is very important and you should take steps to your mental and physical health

We are both kanuri Sir
Walhy because of her I hate kanuri girls....i hate them

gannod:
It is obvious you married the wrong woman. You know what to do as a man and I suggest you do it before it is too late. Stories abound of how wives stab their husbands to death in the north and I pray you are not added to that list. The foundation of that marriage is faulty, it is God only that can soften her heart.

It wouldn't happen to me insha Allah

This time around I will find the lasting solution.....she will decide by herself

kkkp:
Tunda qaddara ta same ka. A runka mata nasiha. Amma fa akwai abunda ya kamata ka bincika.
1. Is she still in contact with her boyfriend
2. Is the Ex boyfriend married??
3. If she is still in contact with him, that will be a major issue in your marriage.

I don't check her phone

But the boyfriend is her classmate currently in the university

LaRosa01:
After many years of marriage,I have since learnt never to take the words of a woman lightly,she is telling you what she is thinking and its a question of time before she acts on it.

There is a time her elder sister came to our house to solve some problems......i told the sister that I am afraid this girl might kill me one day

The sister now replied that nothing will happen, that how many years she's married and didn't kill her husband..

And she's even telling me that even men do kill there wives

Dshocker:


She wasn't suppose to be your wife, that was the mistake you made.

And i am sure you saw these traits in her before wiving her, so why complain?

I saw it oooo, I regretted badly...

Chinny024:

For how long are u going to live like this? ..

I don't know oo,

I have done that before...and she doesn't care....in fact she started locking the door for me that I can't get access to the house when am back from work...i have to sleep in my car.

I then reported to her dad, before she stopped...

So I don't think not eating her food will make her change

Chinny024:


Is the dad wearing the shoe with you? .
Get yourself a sidechic and have peace of mind...You can then marry her...Shebi Islam does polygamy? ...
You are weak and she's taking advantage of it..

I was always thinking about adding another wife.....but am I not too young for that?
28yrs with 2 wives?

Naijatask:


Sorry to hear about that. Iiving with someone who doesn't really have an affection for you must have been hard on you.

Threaten her with getting married to a second wife.

Or call a meeting with her parents and ask her right there and then if she still has an affection for you. If she said yes, then pour out your heart to her parents about how she has been treating you.

A stitch in time they say, saves nine!

Nasha karanta labarun mata wadanda suke kashe mijinsu da wuka ko guba.

I pray your own case will be different in sha Allah.

Also, don't relent, kayi ta tashin barcin dare kana nafila (do that for more than a month, and in sha Allah you'll see excellent results).

Also, after the night prayer, always read hasbunallahu WA ni imal wakil *100, after reading that for 100*, you follow up with what you need from Allah.

Do that and faith, and in sha Allah, things will fall in place

JazakAllah

9japride:
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Try, you should also check yourself to know if you are wrong. If we go deeper, we'll find out you are really hurting her.
Anyway, try do what's best for you guys. Marriage matter is very complicated, all parties involved usually claim to be right and never wrong.

Yeah sure, I might be hurting her.....

Arewa247:
I will not advice you to divorce her but can u try this and see if it can work. Invite any mallam that you know can preach very well to talk to her. 2) buy islamic preaching that talk about hakkin miji akan matansa ta rinka ji kila zata ji abinda zaisa ta sauko

To ni ai matsalar ma halayen nata marasa kirki yasa naji bana sonta walhy...

Idan ta shiryu ya kake ganin zaiyi da yadda mind nawa ya canza

9japride:
OP you are an adult and know what's good for you. I am very sure she's very good in the 'other room' and you can't imagine missing such goodies.
I see most stories here as people catching cruise.
Nobody can ever change and adult, the best is to manage the situation and bear the consequence of your choice.

Sir not at all.

But I am yet to figure out my fear

compton11:
that is one terrible of a woman.

May Allah put u through on your plan

Amin Ya Rabb

Bennysam:

If you die he will grow and be whatever he will be if you No die the same thing

Fear of not been with him I mean, after the divorce

Bennysam:

Wait until her wish happened before you decide what to do

Thanks for the advice man

DonEd:
You are afraid of missing ur son?

Don't worry, when you are dead, he will call another man daddy.

Be playing with ur life.

Nothing compares to a woman who is scorned.

Maybe am not matured enough to understand, I am just 28yrs

I will seek advice from my parents and see...

Thanks so much

sleek214:
How can you be depressed because of a woman? If you came here to seek for advice, means your wife wish (death) might come sooner than expected. Marriage is No longer for Better or Worse. In this life, you 1st before the rest people, you can arrange the rest people as you deem necessary But 1st position is You. Don't kill yourself because of somebody ooo most Especially Woman... Nahhhhh

Best advice bro...i will discuss with my father....thats exact what's my father is saying to me

Adachizzy:

There's no jazz. You probably assist the family in one way or another other hence, they don't want to lose you and the assistance, yet. They most probably know their child doesn't love you.
Papa is just giving excuses.

Btw, I'm a lady.

I have said it earlier, that here in the north it's like a shame for a family when their girl child is divorced....thats why they keep pushing it..

I don't think I have help them....

Maybe by marrying her yes

Ahmed0336:
I no dey chuk mouth for weak men matter, this dude is weak and is on a highway.
Allah ya shirye ku ya kuma ba ku ikon gane da juna.

Walhy i am weak, I know that I am.....i am too gentle, too quiet to cold, to calm., too forgiven.....infact I always wanted to be rugged

compton11:
then divorce her and see what will happen.

If she repent, take her back.

I have divorced her once, and returned her back...

Also send her home back after some months, when we were called she boldly told her dad that she don't want the marriage that I should divorce her....but the dad sent her away and begged us to return her back which I did

compton11:
Threaten her ass with divorce and her brain will reset

I have done that on several occasion

Her reply will be do the worst

Adachizzy:
OP, I've read your replies to some comments above.
1. You already know she doesn't love you. You made mention of the struggle to marry her, even when she was with someone else.
2. She doesn't respect you. Using those dangerous words each time you have an argument? Nahh
3. She doesn't appreciate you. You do your best as a man, yet no appreciation from her.
4. You're not a blind man. You already see these things yet you're still there.

Men have emotions too. You have one life as well. If eventually something happens to you tomorrow, that boy will live, even without you.
Marriage isn't a do or die affair. If it isn't working out, LEAVE TO LIVE.

Sir you understood me well

She's kinda confusing some times doing good like nothing was wrong, but must times am not happy



Her dad said some womens have done jazz to separate us, is that possible?

But really she loved someone before I married her

traware:
This is neither a new or recent sentiment amongst married women.Many married women do not really like their husbands.All they do is manage their presence.When managing their presence becomes too difficult a task and they feel trapped in the marriage,they start wishing death on their husbands

Exactly....its like she's managing but not enjoying

Naijatask:


Maza ka kwashi wahala pa.

Ta yah zaka aure mace da ba wai sonka takeyi ba? Kai ba bahaushe bane?

Baka tabajin Karin magana Kaso Mai sonka ba?

Anyway, the deed has been done.

addua na shine, Allah ya Kara maku fahimta da juna

Walhy kaddara ne.... Walhy kafun na aurenta babu bala'i da ban gani ba......amma dashike Allah ya kaddara saida akayi auren, and kuma fa bawai mace na rasa ba, i am young and hansome walhy, mata dayawa are dreaming of my type....infact inada kudi Alhmdlh.....

Sau daya na ganta na amince, ban sake ganinta ba sai ran aure, dashike bana zama a garin ina aiki a south....

Ni bansan ya zanyi ba...walhy bata burgeni yanzu, saboda tayar min da hankali da tayi, she affected me mentally and psychologically...

vincenteger:
Just leave her run for 2-3 weeks

If she calls you, fine
If she no bother call you... You must have been dead to her.

I am a public servant, working in an office from 8am to 5pm, so I don't think leaving her alone will be possible, and considering the environment and how thing are going here in the north....



What do u think about not eating her food, sleeping in different room locked....for the 2 weeks?

Infact I dey fear to eat her food or sleep near her, I always slept eyes opened

Battlefield2:
Flee Mr Man
You are living with your number one enemy

Did u know why she said she wish I am dead...

It's just an argument.....normally every two days I use to visit my mum.....so Saturday afternoon I dressed up and carry my car key and she asked me where am I going to, I told her that I am going to visit mum....then she said she is also going to her mothers house since I am going to mine too....i told her that not today.

She started shouting insulting me, wishing bad bad wishes, that when I am driving something will happen to me, she's tired, she want to do another marriage......

GOFRONT:
Something is fundamentally wrong somewhere.......

Run for ya dear life.

If it's easy to run for my life, I would have done that since....i have a 3yrs old child with her, I love that boy....when we separate I know definitely I will miss him.....thats my fear

CandyOps:
She will kill you one day bro.. and most times it's because of another dick who is confusing here.

Leave the bitch. You don't even need a divorce. Wake up one morning. Tell her you want to buy Peak Milk and vamoose. Them no go see you again

In fact I suspect she doesn't love me

Because I have to struggle before we get married....its like a forced marriage, but not from me but from her parents

She is in love with a guy before, my mum asked me to check her.......i have seen many thing that I supposed to do you turn but I insist and married her...

It's like she is trapped in my office, she doesn't appreciate me, she tells me whatever she likes, she insult me....and be telling me I am not doing anything to her apart from the house rent I am paying.

Walhy I loose weight, loose appetite, confused depressed.....

And I am doing very well financially, I am spending more than 300k in my house with 30days

Sonnobax15:
. Yh I know,cuz I've been there once,up north......

But bro,on a more serious note,na you wear the shoe......So you're the one who knows where it's pinching you..........but have tried talking to her one on one?

Not atall

Anyone

Help

Sonnobax15:

Anger!!!! Then again,some words shouldn't be taken lightly before they are backed up by actions....Chebi she get family members na? Why don't you report her to her family?.......Death wishes aren't something one shouldn't joke with.....

When marriage which is meant to be enjoyed is being endured,then quitting it shouldn't be of the major option one must consider..

They aren't serious, they always complain that I am impatient....they told me that I don't have to report everything about my marriage, that I should be able to solve it as a male.

You know here in the north parents don't want their girl child been divorced, it's like a shame to them....so they don't care what is going on in the house...they just want her to stay

Oceanjagaban:

Divorce her or die soon

I am always thinking of that, infact I have divorced her once before our parents interfere and brought her back....u know as Muslims you are entitled to three divorce...so remain two now

But my fear is my 3yrs old son....fear of missing him