Pls my question may sound odd but its very important. Even though I lost my dad (3 years ago by November) I still cry almost everyday and I am 28 and even have a fiancee. So sometimes which is now most times a memory will just flash past (could be a song, aroma of food, quote) and then I'll be in tears. My fiancee has "caught" me doing this on occasions and I feel embarrassed. I now have to hide when the emotions overwhelm me so she doesn't have to see me like this as it could be disheartening. I don't know, am I not being man enough? Do I have to seek help, or will this pass when I get my own family?

Ur dad's place in ur heart wil neva b replaced, its obvious u love ur dad alot and u ar very emotional bt u hav 2 tel urslf that crying wil neva bring hm bak. It happens al d tym 2 me( lost mine in march) so what i do is neva alow me be alone 4 too long and 4 now i don't go thru family pictures. U'll always mis hm bt life must go on..... Wit tym u wil get over it

You may never get over your dad's death but you can try to control the crying sessions by avoiding things that'll bring memories of him strongly enough to make you cry. But you should feel comfortable crying before your fiancee anytime, she's your other half and should share in your feelings and emotions.

There's no age limit to crying openly over a lost loved one. It's human and natural.

No, it's not unmanly to cry over the loss of a loved one, and there is no age limit either. We are all humans and it's natural to mourn over the loss of a loved one. Even the bible tells us that Jesus wept. That didn't make him any less of a man.

You're obviously still grieving. Give yourself time. It may not feel like it right now, but trust me, it does get better with time. The raw pain you're feeling right now would lessen eventually, to be replaced with fond memories of him.

For now, talk about how you feel to your fiancee, family members, and/or your best friend. Let it all out, don't bottle it up. You know, there is a saying, "some of us go to bed early, while others go to bed late. But at the end of the day, we ALL go to bed". Your dad is resting in the lord's arms.

Take heart and all will be well.

I hate when folks ask questions like "Am I being man-enough"? I mean do you ever think to yourself . . who came up with the rules on what it means to be "man-enough"? How come people have different ideas of what it means to be "man-enough"? And why do I need to subject myself to rules that obviously seem to work well for those who adhere to it but not all men?

@Poster, why did God give you those lacrimal glands if he wanted you to restrict your crying? Would you be more manly if your tears dried up instead? I mean then you won't be able to cry at all and maybe you can boast more then that you are manlier than they are. I don't know about you but I hate living by rules that I did not have a hand in creating(man-made rules that are not written in stone).

P.S Women love and care more for men who are in touch with their "feminine sides" as research shows they are believed to be more open(don't ask me), and honest, than men who do hold it all back(hold it back is key here).

http://artofmanliness.com/2008/06/19/when-is-it-okay-for-a-man-to-cry/

http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-714325.htm

Grief has no age limit m'dear. Sorry about your loss

@OP
there is absolutely nothing wrong with what is happening to you, and you certainly shouldnt feel ashamed about it.

@op

i am 11 years older than you and i cry most of the times when i think of my dad.

Coincidentally,its 3 years now that i lost him and it still hurts.

I was 10 when i left home for a boarding school in the North and after i finished went straight to the Uni.

From my NYSC to a Post graduate school in the East, and from there to another post graduate school in the UK.

Worked briefly after school in the UK and then relocated to the US.

Why am i telling you this?from an early age i had been away from my dad and never really got to know him.

Ironically,dad and mom were dirt poor who did eveything(from borrowing,selling akara/pork meat,security guard and okada riding)to make sure i had an education.

and a day after my dad was granted his immigrant visa to relocate and join me,he just slumped and died in Lagos.

Thats why my mom is an EGG to me and my wife knows this.

I cry because after putting so much investment in me and was just reaping all he sowed,he just died.

Sometimes i comfort myself with the fact that he lived the last 10 years of his life not lacking anything at all and not working again.

I am having a life with my kids that i never had with my dad because you never know when you might go.

So,@op there is no age or gender thing when it comes to crying.

Real men cry.