Hello to all my fellow Nairalanders. How are thee? Anyways, I love this forum. I have been a lurker on this forum for some years now but I never had anything to post until now. I am a newcomer on this forum so please don't bash me if I made a mistake. lol. I know how you all can be. So my problem is that I had been intimate with different men for years, I started being intimate at the age of 16. I thought of it as something fun to do as a hobby so I was always being intimate. When I turned 24 I began attending church again and repented to become a child of Christ, so I became celibate and stopped going to clubs and such. Well I met a gorgeous man in church later that year and we began dating. The sparks were flying and we always had a good time around each other eventhough I was still celibate and he was a virgin. After about 2 years of dating we finally got married, this occured in February. I was really exicted and looking forward to our wedding night because it had been so long since I had been intimate with a man. To my disappointment my husband didn't last very long in bed and top it off, he was horrible in bed and the size of his manhood was too small that I didn't even feel it going into me. I had never had such a lousy partner in bed before but I consoled myself and said maybe it is because this is his first time and with time he will get better. Well fastforward now it has been 7 months since we got married and things have not gotten better. His manhood is still very tiny and he still is horrible in bed. He doesn't fore play, he doesn't give me head and he won't allow me to give him head, and he only does missionary style. I have tried talking to him about our intimate aspect but he still refuses to change. I am a woman and I have my intimate needs and he isn't taking care of them, I don't know how much longer I can take of this horrible intimate life. I have been using toys to help my with this furstration but it no longers works because I need a real man. Other than this problem, everything else is going well but I am so tempted to cheat. I don't want to cheat on my husband but I don't think our intimate life will get better, what should I do. Should I divorce him?

Where are the consultants and councellors U gat a patient on emergency ward

Sijo01: Where are the consultants and councellors U gat a patient on emergency ward

This is the result of 'no pre-marital sex'-rude shock!
Didn't you guys talk about sex and your preferences during courtship?
Even if you weren't going to do the do,what happened to feeling and touching?

There's a communication gap you two need to bridge. Just talk to him about it. And do your research; it's not always about size.

@ op, now that u r married, u must do all u can to make it work especially having confirmed that apart frm the sex, oda things are working well. If ur hubby aint learned in d art of love making, u need to show him the art of how to satisfy u. The size of his manhood may be small (like u described) but when he becomes perfect in the art of loving making, u will enjoy him. he is hubby and its u to u to make him learn how to satisfy u. Bear in mind however that he may be slow in learning so dnt rush him. Praise him as he improves and encourage him to do better. Extra marital affair is bad in the eyes of God and will only ruin ur marital union.

Speechless......

LMAO!!!! SAY NO TO PRE_MARITAL SEX...

After marriage ---» What you see is what you win .. Loool...

Back to topic : You both should see a medical doctor and a psychologist... Force him to go with you, you both should talk about your problems with them.
Start from there.. A solution will come up.. Until then... Enjoy the 'pencil' .. Cheers!!!

Well he didn't want to do anything sexually at all because he doesn't believe in anykind of intimate contact. So there was no feeling or touching or any of that. It was akward enough that we had our first kiss at our wedding. And I have tried talking to him about our intimate life but he just doesn't want to change and satisfy me. He feels that God made sex missionary so we should't need to complicate what God has already made perfect between man and woman. I have tried suggesting that he take some size enhancer medicine but he refuses because he believes that it will make him sterile. We never talked about sex before marriage because he was not experienced so I assumed that I would just teach him when the time came. I am just so furstrated about this. He refuses to have sex in the morning and day time. He only wants it at night and we only have sex like once or twice a week. I have tried to lure him into the bed during the day by cooking him lunch naked and eating naked BUT he just won't budge his views on sex. He just ignores the advances I make. I don't know how much more I can take of this, it is like living in hell.

deleted

[size=18pt]Furstrated.[/size]

Furstrated: When you are frustrated with an animal that has FUR.

source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=furstrated

No need to thank me.

Sijo01: Where are the consultants and councellors U gat a patient on emergency ward

Lolz.
So much for emergency ward.religion&dis intimate issues sef!!
Will this nw be right to ask the OP:
U mean no summerslamning testing before marriage??
Eyah!Jst manage u hear!!

BelaMorena: [size=18pt]Furstrated.[/size]

Furstrated: When you are frustrated with an animal that has FUR.

source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=furstrated

No need to thank me.

SMH!!!!!

The title of thread says it all... You're really frustrated, just take am easy!

Thanks for the correction lol. Well I am FRUSTRATED! I just don't know what to do. If only he would change his views on sex then I would be happily married woman. Right now I am miserable, I have always dreamed that my husband would be a stallion in bed that would make me orgasm all the time, that he would be romantic and be open to trying new things BUT for some cruel reason God has given me wood as an excuse for a man. We last had sex on Monday and I wanted to try something different so I suggested we try anal sex since it gives pleasure more than regular sex because I need some pleausure, this man refused saying that anal sex is only for the gays and if he wanted anal sex then he can as well gone ahead and married a man. Can you imagine? I was shocked because I have never met a man before that refused anal sex. I told my sister about my situation and she says maybe he is gay and is using me to cover it up but I doubt my love is gay. Anyways, we tried therapy back in June for 3 weeks but it didn't work because he is still a log of wood in bed. I am seriously running out of ideas, the only thing I can think of right now is a divorce

I suggest you talk to your pastor in church,or church head to trash out this issue.
But how can you get married to someone and not even try talking about sx or intimacy at all? That's weird?

Then start watching lots of films that have a lot of sx scenes,not neccesarily porn.

Educate him on matters concerning intimacy, try new methods that will get him crazy.

Taking drugs to enlarge, I don't advise.

Sit him down and talk to him, if necessary, let him see you with ur toys, it would sure get him bothered, but if it doesn't then something is definitely wrong.

Even if he was virgin, at least discussing intimacy issues before marriage is necessary and u can't tell me he had no clue, that is theoretical knowledge about intimacy issues before marriage? If its so , that's also weird.


Hmm, u have no grounds to divorce him oh! Neither any grounds to cheat.

Its for better for worse.

Mix 5ex appetisers in his food n watch him tame u lyk a real lion

Thanks for the advice. I don't think my husband would like it if I take our sexual affairs to the church. I just don't know. I will try mixing some sexual enhancers in his food though but if it still doesn't work I might just have to divorce him based on sexual incompatibility. I am just glad that we decided to wait 2 years before having children. And I am also kind of scared because we were talking last night about moving to a new home by next year April and he suggested that we get a home with 2 master bedrooms, so that he can have one and I can have one. I know most homes now come with 2 master rooms for this purpose but I don't want to sleep away from my husband. I am very much attracted to this man, he is very sexy and handsome. Looking at him is enough to make me horney BUT he just isn't satisfying me. I hate getting horney only to be left unsatisfied. I love the fact that he takes me out all the time, buys me things, shows how much he cares about me, and other things that makes it harder for me to leave him. I know they say there is no prefect person, but why does his imperfection have to be his small manhood and extremely low sex drive? I am just flabbergasted about this.

op,tell the mods to help move this thread to the family section.
You'll get much saner and praticeable advice there than here..

A born again christain man would hardly change his view on sex. anything other than wat he tinks d Bible teaches would be seen as untoward. am sorry baby u r stuck wit him.

a common occurence in marriages like your own(ask Pastors)Just smile like most of them do and act out "it is well wit me and my family"

I pray dat God will be ur strength cos u really need it.

For better for worse.......

Seriously u are jst the case of a round peg being fixed in a square hole.

I like u cos u are opened for about ur sexuality. Not the thing is until ur husband realises he has a problem there is nothin u can do. Does he know? I feel very bad wen I realize I didn't satisfy my woman in bed. Most men do. Do u let him know? If u do does he feel bad?

I was xpecttin all those virgin or no premarital sexx advocates to help but alas they are no where to b found.

U are nt happy in this marriage for sexual reasons. Ur husband must know this, he must want to make u happy, if not well ... U can continue remaining unhappy. U don't need communication, u need action. Show him u are not happy. How u show him is up to u, bt make him worried that his wife is nt happy.

this is seriously serious.
Unless your husband goes through a complete change in thinking,I bet the marriage may just remain this way.
Explain to his sisters or mother.(the mother can lecture him on how his father and her.............).
I think if the mother explains your plight to him as a woman he may change.
Sorry,I really feel for you,it's really excruciating.(one more reason am scared of marriage)

Exponental: For better for worse.......

LoooooL

All,
my husband just came back from work and we conversed over the issue at hand. He thinks that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that he only wants sex the missionary way because it is the way God made it. He says he doesn't understand why I am so sad because he gives me everything I want and treats me the way a loving husband should treat his wife. He says many women would love to be in my shoes but yet I go on complaining everytime about sex. He says sex should be secondary to the love that we share and if I really love him then I should learn to overlook his sexual "flaws" just like he has learned to overlook my constant nagging and unhealthy sexual desires. Imagine? I just want us to cross boundaries and experience things like BDSM and he thinks my desires are unhealthy?! What is unhealthy about wanting to be satisfied? Now I am beginning to wonder maybe my husband is just not sexually atrracted to me, am I the problem? I am just confused and frustrated, I feel like crying. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take of this.

All,
my husband just came back from work and we conversed over the issue at hand. He thinks that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that he only wants sex the missionary way because it is the way God made it. He says he doesn't understand why I am so sad because he gives me everything I want and treats me the way a loving husband should treat his wife. He says many women would love to be in my shoes but yet I go on complaining everytime about sex. He says sex should be secondary to the love that we share and if I really love him then I should learn to overlook his sexual "flaws" just like he has learned to overlook my constant nagging and unhealthy sexual desires. Imagine? I just want us to cross boundaries and experience things like BDSM and he thinks my desires are unhealthy?! What is unhealthy about wanting to be satisfied? Now I am beginning to wonder maybe my husband is just not sexually atrracted to me, am I the problem? I am just confused and frustrated, I feel like crying. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take of this.

Maybe you should try setting him up with another woman and see how he reacts. If he makes advances on the woman/sleeps with the woman then you are the problem. But if he doesn't make any advances on the woman then your husband is gay. If you need help finding a woman then message me cus I know a lot of women that will want to help. Good luck.

This thread is very stupid.why u dey ask us this kind nonsense question abeg free urself joor go n have sex wit another man wey fir satisfy u. maybe self u n dat ur silly husband r both undercover gays

There isn't much you can do as long as he has that mindset of his

krissyjay: Thanks for the correction lol. Well I am FRUSTRATED! I just don't know what to do. If only he would change his views on sex then I would be happily married woman. Right now I am miserable, I have always dreamed that my husband would be a stallion in bed that would make me orgasm all the time, that he would be romantic and be open to trying new things BUT for some cruel reason God has given me wood as an excuse for a man. We last had sex on Monday and I wanted to try something different so I suggested we try anal sex since it gives pleasure more than regular sex because I need some pleausure, this man refused saying that anal sex is only for the gays and if he wanted anal sex then he can as well gone ahead and married a man. Can you imagine? I was shocked because I have never met a man before that refused anal sex. I told my sister about my situation and she says maybe he is gay and is using me to cover it up but I doubt my love is gay. Anyways, we tried therapy back in June for 3 weeks but it didn't work because he is still a log of wood in bed. I am seriously running out of ideas, the only thing I can think of right now is a divorce

woman shall not live by sex alone

ArQueBusieR:
SMH!!!!!

wrong section, try family. . . Plus next time, don't marry a virgin