Source: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Letter-to-My-Younger-Self-Phylicia-Rashad

Reading this again ...got me thinking again.

I absolutely love Phylicia Rashad and I grew up watching The Cosby Show, dreaming of having a family like the Cosby's when I get to that stage in my journey on this planet. And I also believe she can become as inspirational and legendary as Maya Angelou - for young black girls around the world.

However, I'll have to disagree with her. No "man" on this planet is an Island. You definitely need someone who loves you; who's your best friend; who has the same passion as you do; who cares about you; and who will ride for you no matter what - to be able to get to your full potentials on this planet. And that's where relationship is important. The only problem is that most people go into relationships for the wrong reasons hence why they always end up distracted!!

Still love you, Aunt Phylicia Rashad!

^Yeah, I have to disagree with her this one time. Ive heard her give a full interview before. I believe she is over-thinking the past. The above sounds really good, but its bad advice imo.

I believe she was talking to her fellow women, not too sure if men can really relate to her words...

Either way, great advice!

Black men ain't shit

shymexx: I absolutely love Phylicia Rashad and I grew up watching The Cosby Show, dreaming of having a family like the Cosby's when I get to that stage in my journey on this planet. And I also believe she can become as inspirational and legendary as Maya Angelou - for young black girls around the world.

However, I'll have to disagree with her. No "man" on this planet is an Island. You definitely need someone who loves you; who's your best friend; who has the same passion as you do; who cares about you; and who will ride for you no matter what - to be able to get to your full potentials on this planet. And that's where relationship is important. The only problem is that most people go into relationships for the wrong reasons hence why they always end up distracted!!

Still love you, Aunt Phylicia Rashad!

Shymexx, she isn't advocating singleness. She's saying "Pursue relationships when you're truly ready and when you do, be careful of who you choose". She was obviously reflecting on her own experiences as a young girl and was trying to pass on her lessons to young people seeking relationships, especially to those who jump into relationships too quickly, too soon - when they haven't developed a relationship with themselves first.

birdman: ^Yeah, I have to disagree with her this one time. Ive heard her give a full interview before. I believe she is over-thinking the past. The above sounds really good, but its bad advice imo.

How's she giving bad advice? Kindly elaborate.

habapalapa: I believe she was talking to her fellow women, not too sure if men can really relate to her words...

Either way, great advice!

Hehe, maybe that's it. =p

Yield:
Shymexx, she isn't advocating singleness. She's saying "Pursue relationships when you're truly ready and when you do, be careful of who you choose". She was obviously reflecting on her own experiences as a young girl and was trying to pass on her lessons to young people seeking relationships, especially to those who jump into relationships too quickly, too soon - when they haven't developed a relationship with themselves first.

My bad, I didn't know that was the underlying message. Then, I guess she's speaking to people like me - people trying to find themselves before giving relationship(s) another go.

Yield:

Shymexx, she isn't advocating singleness. She's saying "Pursue relationships when you're truly ready and when you do, be careful of who you choose". She was obviously reflecting on her own experiences as a young girl and was trying to pass on her lessons to young people seeking relationships, especially to those who jump into relationships too quickly, too soon - when they haven't developed a relationship with themselves first.

I listened to her give an indepth interview sometime back, and she kinda explained some of her views. Her advice sounds good until you realize she had 3 marriages, the last to the famous Ahmad Rashad which also ended in divorce. Because of her moral upbringing. I think she feels a certain anger about being the woman she would love to hate...the serial divorcee.

Her advice is a reaction to this hate. She thinks by moving towards the other extreme, finding love late, she could have avoided the above. Maybe, but then there are no guarantees this will work either. You are more likely to become that old, educated, well-traveled spinster with lots of missed chances for a relationship. Its already slim pickings for good men out there. Why would you turn down a legit chance at romance if you met the right guy?

^ my guy, her advice is as objective as it can be. Personally, I don't know how her life decisions or marriages are a justification of how "wrong" this is.

...As I said before, most women (and some men)will have a thorough understanding of what she's talking about. There's nothing wrong in impacting to the younger generation life lessons that she has learnt while looking/searching for love.

I would come to think that if most women understand perfectly her message, it will save a lot of future heartaches that occur especially in teenage years when young girls are naïve about their emotions and vulnerable to young selfish boys who seek only sexual gratification.

Guy, the woman is SO correct in her words and you know that.

^anyways she is still hot. I wonder why she kept the last guys surname

^ definitely!
I don't know why she still keeps the surname.

birdman: ^anyways she is still hot. I wonder why she kept the last guys surname

cos shes given up on marriage

I'm glad i stumbled on this. Thanks for sharing! Its not easy, but Waiting till one is READY helps one discover self and unleashed potentials. I know coz its working for me.