Not found

She's still pretty young so the tendency for her to want to explore is still there. I'd advice you go with her for counselling..my two cents

Those are d reason of marrying a small gal. Believe u me, she had a lot of things "Carry-Over", which she'll probably hav to fix b4 settling down properly wit u. She may luv u though, bt der re som carry-overs. Jst be patience wit her.
GoodLuck in ur marriage dude.

she's young and still is immature in handling her feelings and controlling her emotions. you definitely married a young one there and you have to prove...no make her know why you guys married in the first place..which is definitely not making free midnight calls. at her apex, all her feelings are increased to the point she might not think straight but what is definitely sure is that she made the right decision marrying you which I hope she still thinks so. you could also slow her to live her youth life for now, sooner maturity works is way through and she'll realize she's married

joeydozzy: she's young and still is immature in handling her feelings and controlling her emotions. you definitely married a young one there and you have to prove...no make her know why you guys married in the first place..which is definitely not making free midnight calls. at her apex, all her feelings are increased to the point she might not think straight but what is definitely sure is that she made the right decision marrying you which I hope she still thinks so. you could also slow her to live her youth life for now, sooner maturity works is way through and she'll realize she's married

tnks my man

im a woman, to be sincere with u,she really need to be counselled, how did thse boys know about d new line u bought 4 her, dt means she already have their nos written down smwhere,apart from d phone memory, but nothing cannot be corrected, sit her down, let her know dt u dont like it, talk out ur mind, she is ur wife,, let her realise shes married and that she is hurting u,but handle it maturely,not with fighting.
Goodluck.

Hmm

Slap that madness Comot for her eyes. Are you a man at all? which kain nonsense is this one. Some women had kids before 22 and you have one grown azzed woman living with you and acting foolish. If she is not ready to be married, take her back to her fathers house, she can go and continue her love rendezvous there.

Who do I slap now? You or her?

jennykadry: Slap that madness Comot for her eyes. Are you a man at all? which kain nonsense is this one. Some women had kids before 22 and you have one grown azzed woman living with you and acting foolish. If she is not ready to be married, take her back to her fathers house, she can go and continue her love rendezvous there.



Who do I slap now? You or her?

Hahhahaaha. Slap her finish,y'all would come out like catherine Edoho and zaky adzy ex and be claiming abuse. Two wrongs don't make a right(at times though!. There are exceptions!!)

@Poster, I think what you can do is wait for her to grow up. Yes, she is 22 but at 22, not everyone has fully grasped the meaning of marriage, or why things like taking calls from ex-boyfriends. She is probably still in the "I am young and life is good" phase of her life and it is expected that she still holds on to some of her childhood ways. Give her time. That is really all you can do.

If you try to attack her or cause her to feel marriage is to place shackles on her mind, you might regret it. Also, I don't understand why you would think you are being deceived. I would think that you knew of the potentials of this(considering the age gap) before you married her so please drop that attempt to play VICTIM here and accept that this is your choice and you have to work with her as she grows up.

lol...
Reminds me of my freind who got married at 18 and had a baby at 19.She had to take the baby for post-natal care at the hospital once.the processes and protocols were so overwhelming that the baby started to cry and she joined him in crying too such that people were asking her to take the baby to its mother at some point.
.
@op,
At 22,your wife is just a girl with a husband and kid.
I'm almost sure a part of her still desires to be carefree,partying,hanging out with girls and boys her age not being a mother and wife to anyone.
I don't think she fully understands what it is to be married..
She has a lot of growing up to do.....and she's going to have to do it in your house.
Don't try to push her out...or make her feel trapped.
The most you can do is love her more and be patient with her at this point and hope this phase would pass in time.

jennykadry: Slap that madness Comot for her eyes. Are you a man at all? which kain nonsense is this one. Some women had kids before 22 and you have one grown azzed woman living with you and acting foolish. If she is not ready to be married, take her back to her fathers house, she can go and continue her love rendezvous there.

Who do I slap now? You or her?

What would a slap achieve? So Violence will solve his problem? Tomorrow she will open her own thread and we will crucify him but we forget hat it started here.
Poster, you married someone who obviously wasnt ready for marriage, marriage is beyond some fantasy and sterotype, you should have courted her and studied her. That being said and done, talk to her, stop changing her lines, you will get tired, have a heart to heart, it is either she is ready for marriage or not,let her make a choice, involve both families, she either decides to stay married or she leaves, but dont resort to violent or controlling measures, she is an adult and should be free to decide what she wants.

jennykadry: Slap that madness Comot for her eyes. Are you a man at all? which kain nonsense is this one. Some women had kids before 22 and you have one grown azzed woman living with you and acting foolish. If she is not ready to be married, take her back to her fathers house, she can go and continue her love rendezvous there.

Who do I slap now? You or her?

Typical Jenny !!!!!

@OP
You married a small girl, you must go down the small girl route. Call her and talk some sens into her. Be firm if you must.

Kobojunkie: @Poster, I think what you can do is wait for her to grow up. Yes, she is 22 but at 22, not everyone has fully grasped the meaning of marriage, or why things like taking calls from ex-boyfriends. She is probably still in the "I am young and life is good" phase of her life and it is expected that she still holds on to some of her childhood ways. Give her time. That is really all you can do.

If you try to attack her or cause her to feel marriage is to place shackles on her mind, you might regret it. Also, I don't understand why you would think you are being deceived. I would think that you knew of the potentials of this(considering the age gap) before you married her so please drop that attempt to play VICTIM here and accept that this is your choice and you have to work with her as she grows up.

GBAM!
Mozonto, ud do well to read dis over n over again

Johndoe100:



@OP
You married a small girl, you must go down the small girl route. Call her and talk some sens into her. Be firm if you must.

I think Hell just froze , I actually agree with Johndoe.

Kobojunkie: @Poster, I think what you can do is wait for her to grow up. Yes, she is 22 but at 22, not everyone has fully grasped the meaning of marriage, or why things like taking calls from ex-boyfriends. She is probably still in the "I am young and life is good" phase of her life and it is expected that she still holds on to some of her childhood ways. Give her time. That is really all you can do.

If you try to attack her or cause her to feel marriage is to place shackles on her mind, you might regret it. Also, I don't understand why you would think you are being deceived. I would think that you knew of the potentials of this(considering the age gap) before you married her so please drop that attempt to play VICTIM here and accept that this is your choice and you have to work with her as she grows up.

What am I reading? Wait for her to grow up?
With all due respect, what kind of nonsense is that?

Wait for he to grow up while she is desecrating her marriage?
Are you married? I do not think so?

My advice?
Nip it in the bud this very moment.

Raise as much hell as you can right now and put your feet firmly on the ground. She has to get the message now.
A stitch in time saves nine.

plaetton:

What am I reading? Wait for her to grow up?
With all due respect, what kind of nonsense is that?

Wait for he to grow up while she is desecrating her marriage?
Are you married? I do not think so?

My advice?
Nip it in the bud this very moment.

Raise as much hell as you can right now and put your feet firmly on the ground. She has to get the message now.
A stitch in time saves nine.

Essentially, try to force her to grow up and cause her to resent him? You do know she is only 22 right now and the resentment might be for a lifetime or a couple more months. You do not FORCE people to grow up. YOu let them grow up at the pace they are supposed to.
The @OP says he is 31 . . no one had to FORCE him to grow up(assuming he is), and at the end of the day, he decided to chose someone who had a lot of growing up to do still. Why should his wife be denied that same freedom he had? Forcing people to grow up is the reason we have a lot of old people in that country who think mostly like dingbats.

OP you married a girl of 21 when you were 31. So how do you expect her to behave?

You either have to endure it or you report her to her family elders

Kobojunkie:
Essentially, try to force her to grow up and cause her to resent him? You do know she is only 22 right now and the resentment might be for a lifetime or a couple more months. You do not FORCE people to grow up. YOu let them grow up at the pace they are supposed to.
The @OP says he is 31 . . no one had to FORCE him to grow up(assuming he is), and at the end of the day, he decided to chose someone who had a lot of growing up to do still. Why should his wife be denied that same freedom he had? Forcing people to grow up is the reason we have a lot of old people in that country who think mostly like dingbats.

Resentment my foot!
Even children resent being corrected. Have you noticed?

Which should be his greater fear right now?
The fear of her resenting him for putting his feet down to respect her husband and her marital vows, or, the fear of the woman rubbishing the sanctity of their marriage, his ego and self respect?.

That is why I asked if you were married. When did irresponsibility in marriage become a passing phase? Would you allow your spouse do such things simply because you think she is just growing up?
C'mon man.

plaetton:

Resentment my foot!
Even children resent being corrected. Have you noticed?

Which should be his greater fear right now?
The fear of her resenting him for putting his feet down to respect her husband and her marital vows, or, the fear of the woman rubbishing the sanctity of their marriage, his ego and self respect?.

That is why I asked if you were married. When did irresponsibility in marriage become a passing phase? Would you allow your spouse do such things simply because you think she is just growing up?
C'mon man.

aarrgghh!!! I see . You think Life is about FORCING to confirm . . . to grow up . . . to do things your way. I hate to break it to you but marriage is more about ACCEPTING the person you married for WHO THEY ARE, not about CHANGING em to suit your personal ideal. That is why you are supposed to do your research and be sure you can handle your partner's incompatibilities BEFORE, not after marriage.

Anywho, since you are obviously one of those who thinks you can change folks just cause they do not conform to your ideals . . goodluck with that!!

plaetton:

Resentment my foot!
Even children resent being corrected. Have you noticed?

Which should be his greater fear right now?
The fear of her resenting him for putting his feet down to respect her husband and her marital vows, or, the fear of the woman rubbishing the sanctity of their marriage, his ego and self respect?.

That is why I asked if you were married. When did irresponsibility in marriage become a passing phase? Would you allow your spouse do such things simply because you think she is just growing up?
C'mon man.

She is not his child, Why did he at 31 marry someone who is not ready to respect the institution of marriage and marital vows? I can bet my left arm he was looking for a "small girl" he can control. Sadly this small girl is not ready, he cannot force her to be ready, he can only appeal to her and involve her and his family, It is not by force, it is a choice. She is clearly not ready to forsake all others.

mozonto: pls guys help am confused. Am 31 and my wife is 22yrs.we got married early this year.and we love each other so much.we are bless wit a baby gal.i made sure i met up wit u her needs.but my problem is dat she normarly calls 3 of her former boy friends,but i was not happy about dat.one night as we were sleeping her phone rang again and it was one of those boys.she answered with a sweet voice.after the cal,i got mad wit her,but she told me that she has nothing to do wit any of them.i change her sim card but they still call her.pls advice me wot do i do.is it dat she still love those guys or do i believe she luv me as she claims

This is what you get when you marry some immature nigerian girls reluctant to take on responsibilities in marriage... It is because she does not have anything useful to do and does not know what marriage is all about

jennykadry: Slap that madness Comot for her eyes. Are you a man at all? which kain nonsense is this one. Some women had kids before 22 and you have one grown azzed woman living with you and acting foolish. If she is not ready to be married, take her back to her fathers house, she can go and continue her love rendezvous there.

Who do I slap now? You or her?

na so the hulk hogan wey u marry dey do you abi omatshe ooooo

Kobojunkie:

aarrgghh!!! I see . You think Life is about FORCING to confirm . . . to grow up . . . to do things your way. I hate to break it to you but marriage is more about ACCEPTING the person you married for WHO THEY ARE, not about CHANGING em to suit your personal ideal. That is why you are supposed to do your research and be sure you can handle your partner's incompatibilities BEFORE, not after marriage.

Anywho, since you are obviously one of those who thinks you can change folks just cause they do not conform to your ideals . . goodluck with that!!

So expecting something as simple and natural as respecting a husband is now a personal ideal?
I thought it was a societal norm, even a religious norm.
OMG, what generation is this?

I cannot believe you guys.
Should people , in this case, a married woman, a mother, be forced to respect her husband, her family and the institution of marriage?
When does asking or demanding that a spouse let go of old flames become " doing things your own way"?.
What nonesense

This is not a matter of imcompatibility.
This is about doing what is commonsensical.
Obviously you are not yet married.
One of the most repeated advise from parents, friends,priests or other officiating authority during your wedding is the fact you must RESPECT each other. In your vows, you are emphatically told to FORSAKE ALL OTHER[/b]S and to [b]love and cherish you husband or wife.

So , I dont really know what in god's name you are talking about. They are husband and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Geez, I must be really old to see things this way. Am I?

plaetton:

I cannot believe you guys. Should people , in this case, a married woman, a mother, be forced to respect her husband, her family and the institution of marriage?
When does letting go of your old boyfiends become " doing things your own way".
This is not a matter of imcompatibility.
This is about doing what is commonsensical.
Obviously you are not yet married.
One of the most repeated advise from parents, friends,priests or other officiating authority during your wedding is the fact you must RESPECT each other. In your vows, you are emphatically told to FORSAKE ALL OTHER[/b]S and to [b]love and cherish you husband or wife.

So , I dont really know what in god's name you are talking about. They are husband and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Geez, I must be really old to see things this way. Am I?

No one is saying its doing her own thing, what we are saying is he should have made better judgement before marrying a much younger disrespectful lady. That being done, He should seek amicable ways to resolve this, she obviously has no grip or idea of what marriage entails and it cant be forced down her throat as you want.
Same way you cant force a man who you married as a cheat not to cheat on you. These are things people check on about their spouse before saying "I do"

debrief08:
No one is saying its doing her own thing, what we are saying is he should have made better judgement before marrying a much younger disrespectful lady. That being done, He should seek amicable ways to resolve this, she obviously has no grip or idea of what marriage entails and it cant be forced down her throat as you want.
Same way you cant force a man who you married as a cheat not to cheat on you. These are things people check on about their spouse before saying "I do"

This makes a lot more sense.
And the most effective way of making her come to grips with the reality of marriage is to firmly , and if necessary, loudly put his feet down, because, this particular transgression seriously encroaches on the most sacred territory of matrimonial life. That is my point.
Marriage is not a game.

mozonto: pls guys help am confused. Am 31 and my wife is 22yrs.we got married early this year.and we love each other so much.we are bless wit a baby gal.i made sure i met up wit u her needs.but my problem is dat she normarly calls 3 of her former boy friends,but i was not happy about dat.one night as we were sleeping her phone rang again and it was one of those boys.she answered with a sweet voice.after the cal,i got mad wit her,but she told me that she has nothing to do wit any of them.i change her sim card but they still call her.pls advice me wot do i do.is it dat she still love those guys or do i believe she luv me as she claims

she doesn't love you like she claims - what exactly does she talk about with her exes - comparing your sëxual prowess to theirs or what? you need to put your foot on the ground and be the man of your house. report her to your in-laws if she doesn't change!!!

So at your age you didnt see your mates to marry. It is someone 10years younger. Well you wanted to catch them young. Enjoy your small baby. Hope you train her like a parent, since you wanted a child for marriage. When you would have been beating your chest on the ability to grab a fresh one, you did not ask us for advise. Now that you are seeing immaturity in full blast, you are scared. Enjoy the marriage well, but know that you wont see any maturity for about 5 more years. LOL.

report the girl to her father - or parents - what kind of nonsense is this one again - even my 18 year old sister is not this stupid and useless.

U say she is a mother - so this is the example she is setting for her child - young man - when you were looking for a small girl not older than 24 this is part of the package - honestly some women really make me annoyed - please God do not allow my brother to even glance at some of these women, chei - another one is asking if she should cheat, this one is answering potential boot/y calls in her matrimonial bed.

^^^^
Women age faster than men. There is absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a "young" heifer. Fresh blood. Not those expired ones.
DO you wanna get married to Grandma?
A lotta girls are not up to 22 and are way more matured than the op wife. They handle their marriages well. Some are way older and not matured so what are we talking bout?