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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting (11706 Views)
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When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 5:14pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
I am currently in a long distance relationship. My bf will be returning in about two months after being away for over 6 months. Over the course of the 6 months, it has been difficult for me at times. I miss him but I also resent him for being gone for so long. I know certain adjustments will have to be made Adjustments like making time for him and possibly not keeping up with all of the new tasks I did in his absence. Seeing his family again (some of them live her but I haven't seen the majority of them since he has been gone). The only time I have seen them is when it was work-related. I don't want to bombard him when he returns. However, I know that he and I will have to have a conversation about our relationship because I know I won't be able to pick up right when we left off. I don't want him to be with me simply because I'm still around and I want to be clear about each of our intentions and future plans without being too rude. Has anyone here ever been in this position before? Any advice, tips? 1 Like |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Mynd44: 7:27pm On Sep 27, 2012 |
Erm....... I have been in this situation before and it is really not difficult. Just start with small things like a movie date walk and stuff and let things sort themselves out 1 Like |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 1:45am On Sep 28, 2012 |
I guess I have no other choice. However, he did think about moving in with me until he finds a new place. That's all too sudden for me. Going from not seeing someone to them moving in with you. Not to mention that I don't want to live with another male I'm romantically involved with until marriage. 1 Like |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by tellwsdom: 1:49am On Sep 28, 2012 |
KateSpade: I am currently in a long distance relationship. My bf will be returning in about two months after being away for over 6 months. Over the course of the 6 months, it has been difficult for me at times. I miss him but I also resent him for being gone for so long. Cut that craps abeg |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Mynd44: 6:27am On Sep 28, 2012 |
KateSpade: I guess I have no other choice. However, he did think about moving in with me until he finds a new place. That's all too sudden for me. Going from not seeing someone to them moving in with you. Not to mention that I don't want to live with another male I'm romantically involved with until marriage.Then tell him you are not comfortable with him living with you. It is lot better that being uncomfortable with him in the house |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 2:27pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
tellwsdom: It's not crap. Future plans are not inclusive to marriage. He somewhat is aware of my career plans and I of his but my life is a lot more steady and confined. Like I'm still in grad school and don't have any plans to relocate for the next 4 years because I plan on passing the bar in this state and starting off here. If anything I'm more apprehensive about marriage than he is, he talks about living together and how many kids he wants. Just because I'm apprehensive doesn't mean that I should avoid the conversation. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 2:27pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Mynd_44: He knows. Told him months ago. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by obowunmi(m): 4:13pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Break it off - try dating other people and if it is meant to be, you might find yourselves back with each other. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Okijajuju1(m): 4:16pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
KateSpade: I am currently in a long distance relationship. My bf will be returning in about two months after being away for over 6 months. Over the course of the 6 months, it has been difficult for me at times. I miss him but I also resent him for being gone for so long. SHOOO!! Wetin be your real problem?! Your bobo wey go overseas go hustle for you, dey return, you dey wan form sentimental.. Abi you get one new bobo wey don dey service you while ehn dey that side, now wey ehn dey return, your mind dey cut?! Until you talk your real problems, you can never get real solutions to them!!.. 10 Likes |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by hollypagan: 4:25pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Woman just 6 months?my advice is tell him to stay more yrs |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Siga: 4:25pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Oh Lord...here we go again.... |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Tlake(m): 4:26pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Dis babe dsnt really luv dis bobo dis guys gone 4 6 months all u culd say is this,fine u can try 2 b a woman by tryn 2 gve him space bt at least he jst got bak. shw him u really miss stay wif him a while n leave if he wants u will marry shap shap or na introduction go follow. When I travl jst 4 4 months, u nid 2 see hw my babe kissed my @ d airport lik its bin 5 yrs.Babe wise up oo |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by MadCow1: 4:26pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
It looks like someone has been fhucking around in the last six months... 4 Likes |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by mediainspired: 4:40pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Just 6 months &sum1 is whining her bf has bn gone 'for so long'? WOOOW! Sumbody pls clap 4me; i must be a Pope. Neva knew women ar always dis 'ACTIVE,'& dem go dey form as if it's a man's virus. Anyways @op, if u guys ar romantically involved, d less u see &be wit each oda, d beta 4u until marriage. It sounds ironic, but u need all d discipline now. Then 'unleash' urselves as u may wish in marriage. Dats d number 1 purpose of marriage: Companionship. Personally, i dont joke wit it. I wont take even 2 weeks apart! |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by nabegibeg: 4:41pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
move from the know to the unknown as you both converse while he is around |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by stepo707: 4:48pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
women are just confused set of people(no offence but its the truth) 1 Like |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Mynd44: 4:51pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
obowunmi: Break it off - try dating other people and if it is meant to be, you might find yourselves back with each other.I wonder if you actually believe what you just wrote there |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by ChideraFavour(m): 4:52pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Pls if u realy lov ds guy n fait4l 2 him,it shouldnt hv bn such hard labour 2 meet him again,somtin must b wrong somwhr anywell u knw d best 4 u 1 Like |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Nobody: 4:59pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
[size=18pt]this girl don come with her tori tori as usuall.. meeen, im sure that guy must have gone on a shooting spreee "6months" ooutta da cage [/size] |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by condralbede(m): 5:00pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Yawning |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 5:01pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Okija_juju: ha what? Hustle for me? He is trying to get himself together. That is my real problem. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Delfino: 5:06pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
KateSpade: I guess I have no other choice. However, he did think about moving in with me until he finds a new place. That's all too sudden for me. Going from not seeing someone to them moving in with you. Not to mention that I don't want to live with another male I'm romantically involved with until marriage. My people would normally say that "If Sunday would be good, it is the preceding Saturday that will tell" Meaning "If his coming back is anything to look forward to, you would have known by now" Infact you will not need to open this thread and that's the fact! Because you will be filled with so much joy and happiness that you will not be able to sleep at nights. I have been there and we were always looking forward to the "moment" but not from your angle. There was never a moment of doubt and fear. My simple advice -- Try to know all that you need to know about the status of your relationship before he arrives. Ask him the important questions unless of course communication is a problem. But if not discuss this with him now. Don't wait for him to arrive and confirm your fears. It is normal for you to be skeptically and knowing the truth will set your mind free. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 5:07pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Chidera Favour: Pls if u realy lov ds guy n fait4l 2 him,it shouldnt hv bn such hard labour 2 meet him again,somtin must b wrong somwhr anywell u knw d best 4 u It's not such hard labour I'm just nervous and typically not a fan of long distance and commitment and here I am committed doing long distance. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by bejay766: 5:07pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
She wants freedom but does not know how to go about it. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Okijajuju1(m): 5:11pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
KateSpade: So!! The fact that he is still hustling is the problem here?! Na wah o!! .. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 5:11pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Delfino: Thanks. We do discuss it, I'm just a blunt person so at times when I ask very direct questions or say things he might get upset. I'm waiting because I believe in our relationship. If he doesn't I'd rather him be very clear about that now rather than 6 months from now. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by mikkybrick: 5:27pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
<hisses> |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Nobody: 5:30pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
How are you so sure he is coming back for you and not for his family u dot visit or the new girl friend he has gotten. U have showed the house the kind of girl you are when u honestly tell us u don't visit his family me and my husband settle it mata d way u like jare |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by OmoAlata(f): 5:33pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Ol'girl, you need to be frank with him. Yeah, it'll hurt but he'll get over it. On no accounts must you let him cohabit with you He can squat at one of his family's place. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Okijajuju1(m): 5:36pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Omo Alata: Ol'girl, you need to be frank with him. Yeah, it'll hurt but he'll get over it. On no accounts must you let him cohabit with you He can squat at one of his family's place. WTF!! Are you talking about here biko?! Tell him what?! What will he get over?! .. |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by Kposkila: 5:46pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Mad Cow: It looks like someone has been fhucking around in the last six months...a mad cow indeed, u dont have to alter a word b4 we know d state of ur mental derailment! get a doc! |
Re: When Long-Distance Relationship Ends - Advice On Adjusting by KateSpade(f): 5:50pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
Omo Alata: Ol'girl, you need to be frank with him. Yeah, it'll hurt but he'll get over it. On no accounts must you let him cohabit with you He can squat at one of his family's place. Yeah that's what I told him. |
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