buchibabe: Many of u here should watch ur mouths and stop running dem anyhow. Dnt forget we r talkin about someones wife who's hubby is also reading ur responses. I believe he wants constructive advices n not insults. Afterall he's nt fighting wit his wife.
Well,@ Op I understand uur situation quite well n know its nt alllll dat rosy abroad wit all d bills to be paid. Bt she should try n get a job to support u. Even if ts child care/nanny stuff,u know get her friends to drop dia kids in ur house so she can take care of dem n be paid,afterall she doesn't hv to pay taxes for dt and she also gets somtin lil to fal bk on n send to her mom instead of dependin solely on u,secondly it avails her d oportunity to stay wit her own kids at home too
She shold just think of somtin to do to fetch her some moni so she won't hv to complain.

lucabraski: Nothing wrong in ur wifes request. If u guys were based in naija, ur wife may probably be working and would have taken up dat responsibility.

Considering d cost of getting househelps over there, ur wife is probably a full time housewife with no income of hers.

She is very right in saying dat most responsible men in naija look for ways to set up their wives, to share family burden.

Abuja1: I am a Nigerian living abroad with my wife,we are blessed with kids,I have a good job here, take care of my family, but my wife want us to be sending money every month to her mother,which I tell her is not possible if not we can't take care of our self anymore,she will start complaining that in Nigeria men open shop for there wife take care of there Inlaw and so on, now she is saying many men take there wife like slave here in Europe, i was forse to tell her if she feel she is been treated like a slave that i can afford her flight tickets to 9ja,have i said anything wrong,coz i do help her mother in many ways

sexyval: As a grown man ,I'm surprised u are asking dis question ,shud u even be told,y wait for ur wife to tell u ? After her parents have struggled to train her in school,hoping she'd wud be gainfully employed and assist dem in their old age ,u turn their daughter into a house wife and u are complaining ? Don't u send ur mum money ? #smh#

armyofone: your lady should get a job. You should assist in connecting her with some flex job. Helping her mother esp in old age is not a bad idea maybe old mama needed the money for medicine. Not a bad idea if you have something to give.

money and everything in this life is vanity.

okpara ugo:

Are u a security specialist Hehehe. I love the clause ''escape to financial freedom''. Nna mehn, i see dis type escape, daily material request when marriage never even start.

pak: I don't know why guys are judging this story after hearing from only one side.

I am a guy and based on the little that has been said I FULLY STAND BY THE WIFE.

The reasons are stated below.


1. I send money to my mum every month. I believe that's the least I can do for her after everything she's been through. and I will be surprised if anybody thinks otherwise.

2. Retirement benefits and pension system is rubbish in this country, I mean so much fraud everywhere and If this woman is a widow, then where in the world do you expect her to get money to survive from, if not the children that she raised.

3. The issue of her mother having other children is out of it. I have always performed my filial obligations without waiting to find out if my siblings are doing same.

4. The OP stated clearly that the wife is not working because she is takin care of the kids ! Sacrificing for the family ! I have never abused anyone on Nland but I will now - If this story is true, You are such a selfish Dolt ! And yet you complain that she request that you send money to her mother ! You must be crazy ! maybe its better to watch her mother starve to death.

5. Now as per the issue of comparing her to other men and opening a shop, I think that's not the issue. The point she's trying to make is that if only she had a means of getting an income, she wouldn't have had to bother you ! This is a sign of someone who is willing to be industrious for crying out loud ! Which leads to my last point . . .

6. Indeed you are most probably treating her like a slave. You are fulfilling your dreams getting married, having kids, pursuing career, while she just sits there as a fodder for you own dreams while hers lay in tatters to the extent that she can't even on her own support her mother. And yet you have never at any point deemed it fit to see if you can in anyway see what you can do to help her achieve financial independence either by encouragement, finance or education. All you know is that if she works, they'll tax you more and there will be nobody to raise the kids ! and yet you run to Nland when its time to provide basic needs.

I mean we are not even talking of providing for nephews or cousins here - her mother ! and someone has the guts to call her a leech !! ridiculous. I mean the man should even treat her as his own mother now !!!

If I get married today, and any foolish girl tries to stop me from providin for my mum ! I can assure you, that will be the very end (that's if I dont throw her down from the tenth floor balcony first)


@Debrief - I've always followed your post on Nland and hav always been very impressed but for once this is too disappointing, being the first poster you have shepherded the remaining guys in the same direction.


@poster - You most likely have a good wife but as I said earlier, you are must be a selfish person, apologize to your wife, appreciate the sacrifices she has made and she's making and do the right thing to your mother (I intentionally did not call her your mother in law)

debrief08: You married a leech from a family of leeches. When they advice you men to marry hard working independent women you will say "they are hard to control", who does this in this age and time?
I do not know the advice to give you if your wife was here I would have adviced her that marriage is a partnership and not a one way street to just consume and consume and siphon money to her mother.
I do not know the impression you gave your wife before you married her, but all men looking for small girls to control, this is eventually what you get

pak: I don't know why guys are judging this story after hearing from only one side.

I am a guy and based on the little that has been said I FULLY STAND BY THE WIFE.

The reasons are stated below.


1. I send money to my mum every month. I believe that's the least I can do for her after everything she's been through. and I will be surprised if anybody thinks otherwise.

2. Retirement benefits and pension system is rubbish in this country, I mean so much fraud everywhere and If this woman is a widow, then where in the world do you expect her to get money to survive from, if not the children that she raised.

3. The issue of her mother having other children is out of it. I have always performed my filial obligations without waiting to find out if my siblings are doing same.

4. The OP stated clearly that the wife is not working because she is takin care of the kids ! Sacrificing for the family ! I have never abused anyone on Nland but I will now - If this story is true, You are such a selfish Dolt ! And yet you complain that she request that you send money to her mother ! You must be crazy ! maybe its better to watch her mother starve to death.

5. Now as per the issue of comparing her to other men and opening a shop, I think that's not the issue. The point she's trying to make is that if only she had a means of getting an income, she wouldn't have had to bother you ! This is a sign of someone who is willing to be industrious for crying out loud ! Which leads to my last point . . .

6. Indeed you are most probably treating her like a slave. You are fulfilling your dreams getting married, having kids, pursuing career, while she just sits there as a fodder for you own dreams while hers lay in tatters to the extent that she can't even on her own support her mother. And yet you have never at any point deemed it fit to see if you can in anyway see what you can do to help her achieve financial independence either by encouragement, finance or education. All you know is that if she works, they'll tax you more and there will be nobody to raise the kids ! and yet you run to Nland when its time to provide basic needs.

I mean we are not even talking of providing for nephews or cousins here - her mother ! and someone has the guts to call her a leech !! ridiculous. I mean the man should even treat her as his own mother now !!!

If I get married today, and any foolish girl tries to stop me from providin for my mum ! I can assure you, that will be the very end (that's if I dont throw her down from the tenth floor balcony first)


@Debrief - I've always followed your post on Nland and hav always been very impressed but for once this is too disappointing, being the first poster you have shepherded the remaining guys in the same direction.


@poster - You most likely have a good wife but as I said earlier, you are must be a selfish person, apologize to your wife, appreciate the sacrifices she has made and she's making and do the right thing to your mother (I intentionally did not call her your mother in law)

debrief08:
Oga Sir, first of all I dont write to impress anybody I write what i feel is true to the situation. You work Sir, If you didnt work and depended on your wife would you be fair in comapring her with others and their capacity to provide for their in laws? From the posters tone I guess he must have decided that the wife shouldnt work but even at that there are several businesses any woman can do while staying at home in as far as she is industrious and smart thinking. I dont believe in being a house wife at all, every one needs to work, life is too uncertain to depend on anyone totally.

lucabraski: Nothing wrong in ur wifes request. If u guys were based in naija, ur wife may probably be working and would have taken up dat responsibility.

Considering d cost of getting househelps over there, ur wife is probably a full time housewife with no income of hers.

She is very right in saying dat most responsible men in naija look for ways to set up their wives, to share family burden.

berem: nna eh! Okwu a eweghi part 2.ndi okachamara ekwu cha go,gini ozo ka m ga ekwu? Odiegwu!

brut:
Honestly, u write to impress people. u of all ple shld know that not everyone is as fortunate as u are to get a gud job and all that.Pls give the OP solutions as to how his wife wld get a job and not blaming the wife.Ǎ̜̣̍м̣̣̥̇̊ sure she wana work OP is just bein selfish.Meanwhile kudos to Pak, u said it all

COOLDUN: My little advice is that you should send her back home to Nigeria, and then open a good business for her,so that she can be able to take good care of herself and her mother too. If she insist on staying back to the your and continue to disturb you with her family problems then you let her know how much you make and how you spend them. When your situation changes for bad she might not have anything to contribute positively to change it to good. It is good to help the both families of the man and woman, but one’s family is the first. Both of you is one family as you have kids to take care of. Just be careful with your wife

Abuja1: I am a Nigerian living abroad with my wife,we are blessed with kids,I have a good job here, take care of my family, but my wife want us to be sending money every month to her mother,which I tell her is not possible if not we can't take care of our self anymore,she will start complaining that in Nigeria men open shop for there wife take care of there Inlaw and so on, now she is saying many men take there wife like slave here in Europe, i was forse to tell her if she feel she is been treated like a slave that i can afford her flight tickets to 9ja,have i said anything wrong,coz i do help her mother in many ways