Simple question: How do you know, choose or identify the person who's God's will for you in getting married?
comments will be greatly appreciated.

God bless you,I can assure you that the determination to know God's perfect will in marrage is one of the best decisions any Christian can ever make in life.
Firstly,I want you to know that some scholars say that we have 4 types of WILL namely:
1.Perfect will of God--this is getting the real blessing which God in His divine wisdom knows is the best for your life,though most times we find it very difficult to agree with God but in the end,one will surely thank God for His foresight,wisdom and direction.

2.Permissive will of God--God may eventually allow his child to have his/her way after many begging and considerations.Of course you should be able to bear the consequences of your neglecting God's will for your life.King Saul was given to the Israelites grudgingly by God.Many old testament saints practiced polygamy which God frowns at but He reluctantly permitted them to divorce/remarry/or marry many wives out of endurance.Believe me,each of them that tried those things came back to regret their actions later.

3.Self Will--Closely knitted with permissive will though this may be completely outside God's plan for the individual.The Israelites decided in their own will/volition to go out and attack the enemies without God's permission and they were massacred like christian chickens,for deciding to embark on an action not sanctioned by God.Samson had a covenant with God not to intermingle with unbelievers in marriage but he blatantly ignored God's directive and slept on Delilah's lap and he met himself in the mortuary.Solomon knew clearly that marrying the daughters of Pharaoh was against God's will for him but he disobeyed and he ended up a wretch.

4.Satanic/Demonic Will--Powers of darkness can super-impose their own will on human beings in order to fulfill satanic mandate or try to frustrate God's plan.

Now knwing God's will in marriage is as simple as A,B,C.
Firstly,the person must be a born again Christian.Who is actively desiring God's perfect will in his /her life.

Secondly,God delights in fellowship and not just ATM card users approach/fire-brigade style.We must get close to God out of love for him and not just to get him to give us just our daily bread.God desires children who will know and obey him in every aspect of their lives.You should not just start becoming spiritual because you want him to give you his perfect will for your life in marriage,career,fruit of the womb etc.Seek God,befriend him and one day even without asking he will surely reveal intimate details about your life to you.

The secrets of God are with those who fear him--psalm 25.
God cannot do anything without revealing it to his prophets(children,lovers and friends in the secret place of prayer)
How do you know God more/better

1.Read your bible,pray everyday--if you want to grow.Abandon any sin that may stand to block your access to God

2.Fellowship and learn to follow God's leading/direction in ordinary day-to-day activities of your life.
instead of just banging into his presence because you want a a wife/husband,job,baby,house,healing,prosperity etc right now.When you begin to follow God's leading on a daily basis,it would become very easy for you to know his mind concerning major decisions of your life.

God is awesome! @jookunlaja. Thanks for the tips. Does anyone have a contradicting opinion or an addition?

When it feels right, your instinct tells you (tho sometimes we shut our instincts out cos we want that thing so badly, most people even see it as being negative), and he or she brings undiluted peace to your life and the love stands the test of time.

jookunlaja: God bless you,I can assure you that the determination to know God's perfect will in marrage is one of the best decisions any Christian can ever make in life.
Firstly,I want you to know that some scholars say that we have 4 types of WILL namely:
1.Perfect will of God--this is getting the real blessing which God in His divine wisdom knows is the best for your life,though most times we find it very difficult to agree with God but in the end,one will surely thank God for His foresight,wisdom and direction.

2.Permissive will of God--God may eventually allow his child to have his/her way after many begging and considerations.Of course you should be able to bear the consequences of your neglecting God's will for your life.King Saul was given to the Israelites grudgingly by God.Many old testament saints practiced polygamy which God frowns at but He reluctantly permitted them to divorce/remarry/or marry many wives out of endurance.Believe me,each of them that tried those things came back to regret their actions later.

3.Self Will--Closely knitted with permissive will though this may be completely outside God's plan for the individual.The Israelites decided in their own will/volition to go out and attack the enemies without God's permission and they were massacred like christian chickens,for deciding to embark on an action not sanctioned by God.Samson had a covenant with God not to intermingle with unbelievers in marriage but he blatantly ignored God's directive and slept on Delilah's lap and he met himself in the mortuary.Solomon knew clearly that marrying the daughters of Pharaoh was against God's will for him but he disobeyed and he ended up a wretch.

4.Satanic/Demonic Will--Powers of darkness can super-impose their own will on human beings in order to fulfill satanic mandate or try to frustrate God's plan.

Now knwing God's will in marriage is as simple as A,B,C.
Firstly,the person must be a born again Christian.Who is actively desiring God's perfect will in his /her life.

Secondly,God delights in fellowship and not just ATM card users approach/fire-brigade style.We must get close to God out of love for him and not just to get him to give us just our daily bread.God desires children who will know and obey him in every aspect of their lives.You should not just start becoming spiritual because you want him to give you his perfect will for your life in marriage,career,fruit of the womb etc.Seek God,befriend him and one day even without asking he will surely reveal intimate details about your life to you.

The secrets of God are with those who fear him--psalm 25.
God cannot do anything without revealing it to his prophets(children,lovers and friends in the secret place of prayer)
How do you know God more/better

1.Read your bible,pray everyday--if you want to grow.Abandon any sin that may stand to block your access to God

2.Fellowship and learn to follow God's leading/direction in ordinary day-to-day activities of your life.
instead of just banging into his presence because you want a a wife/husband,job,baby,house,healing,prosperity etc right now.When you begin to follow God's leading on a daily basis,it would become very easy for you to know his mind concerning major decisions of your life.

There is no better answer so far,thank u too

Thanks @Vivian @humble by grace. I never knew people could as much as this give perfect counsel. Thanks to ya all! I believe people who just jump at anything should learn through this thread!

jookunlaja: God bless you,I can assure you that the determination to know God's perfect will in marrage is one of the best decisions any Christian can ever make in life.
Firstly,I want you to know that some scholars say that we have 4 types of WILL namely:
1.Perfect will of God--this is getting the real blessing which God in His divine wisdom knows is the best for your life,though most times we find it very difficult to agree with God but in the end,one will surely thank God for His foresight,wisdom and direction.

2.Permissive will of God--God may eventually allow his child to have his/her way after many begging and considerations.Of course you should be able to bear the consequences of your neglecting God's will for your life.King Saul was given to the Israelites grudgingly by God.Many old testament saints practiced polygamy which God frowns at but He reluctantly permitted them to divorce/remarry/or marry many wives out of endurance.Believe me,each of them that tried those things came back to regret their actions later.

3.Self Will--Closely knitted with permissive will though this may be completely outside God's plan for the individual.The Israelites decided in their own will/volition to go out and attack the enemies without God's permission and they were massacred like christian chickens,for deciding to embark on an action not sanctioned by God.Samson had a covenant with God not to intermingle with unbelievers in marriage but he blatantly ignored God's directive and slept on Delilah's lap and he met himself in the mortuary.Solomon knew clearly that marrying the daughters of Pharaoh was against God's will for him but he disobeyed and he ended up a wretch.

4.Satanic/Demonic Will--Powers of darkness can super-impose their own will on human beings in order to fulfill satanic mandate or try to frustrate God's plan.

Now knwing God's will in marriage is as simple as A,B,C.
Firstly,the person must be a born again Christian.Who is actively desiring God's perfect will in his /her life.

Secondly,God delights in fellowship and not just ATM card users approach/fire-brigade style.We must get close to God out of love for him and not just to get him to give us just our daily bread.God desires children who will know and obey him in every aspect of their lives.You should not just start becoming spiritual because you want him to give you his perfect will for your life in marriage,career,fruit of the womb etc.Seek God,befriend him and one day even without asking he will surely reveal intimate details about your life to you.

The secrets of God are with those who fear him--psalm 25.
God cannot do anything without revealing it to his prophets(children,lovers and friends in the secret place of prayer)
How do you know God more/better

1.Read your bible,pray everyday--if you want to grow.Abandon any sin that may stand to block your access to God

2.Fellowship and learn to follow God's leading/direction in ordinary day-to-day activities of your life.
instead of just banging into his presence because you want a a wife/husband,job,baby,house,healing,prosperity etc right now.When you begin to follow God's leading on a daily basis,it would become very easy for you to know his mind concerning major decisions of your life.

You are blessed I agree.

There are couples who are atheists and have a sound marriage. No offense to the bible thumpers but let use common sense when analyzing a broad question.

There are some people that WILL NEVER meet their chosen one because of A, B, and C reasons. That's fact. Some people HAVE MET their chosen one but weren't MATURE in recognizing a valuable notion. It is important to correct SELF before go seeking or waiting on a partner.
Marriage is a business in today's world because you have to pay someone to say that you are married to such and such hence a business.

Back in the ancient times...there weren't any court weddings or "certificate" that identified married couples. People in the town/village knew who were married and who weren't by attending public weddings, introductions, and homecomings. Parents chose partners for their children and in many cases...were successful in the matches. However, we live in society where people want to be right and do not adhere to what is common sense even if they KNOW they are wrong they will be damn to admit they are wrong.

It is the thing with parents who think because they have lived longer than their children...they KNOW EVERRRRYTHING. If your parents instilled in you the best of advices then you shouldn't have any problems choosing a mate for you. I am not saying women should go and hunt for a man that is not what I am saying but if a woman meet a man and he is shy but they both want to get it on...then it would be fortunate for the woman to speak up to get the ball rolling.

In traditional days...men hunt and women choose. I believe that God is not complicated as people always shouts. For the bible thumpers...in the bible...it speaks about free will and making your own decisions in which path you will go. It doesn't make sense for God to say it is in my will that A, B, and C happens but you have a free will to choose.

I always hear my granny say I pray that it is in God's grace/favor that A, B, and C is acceptable and will succeed. I asked her why she says that all the time...she told me that whatever decisions she make she pray that God will direct her accordingly..in other words guide her as she walk down the path she has chosen.

It is important to seek someone that is compatible to you and listen to your inner voice....holy spirit. I am a spiritual being so I operates off spirituality. That's how my ancestors operated and so on. It is also good to know that demonic spirits exist although many people may not agree but how do you explain many demonic paranormal activities that occurred in the last decade? Exactly.

Now getting back to the point...it is about knowing what you want, what you expect, whom you are most compatible to, and how mature you are in your life and mind. It is important to have all of these things in order before you step into a relationship religious or not.

If you meet someone that you like always take it slow and get to know that person. Pay attention to actions and words....if you are uncomfortable with what you see and hear....time to change course. You can't change a person but you can change who you interact with.

Remember that everything is not what it seems. Ask for the revelation of the unseen. Last thing you want to be is sorely surprised!

Mrs.Chima:
There are couples who are atheists and have a sound marriage. No offense to the bible thumpers but let use common sense when analyzing a broad question.

There are some people that WILL NEVER meet their chosen one because of A, B, and C reasons. That's fact. Some people HAVE MET their chosen one but weren't MATURE in recognizing a valuable notion. It is important to correct SELF before go seeking or waiting on a partner.
Marriage is a business in today's world because you have to pay someone to say that you are married to such and such hence a business.

Back in the ancient times...there weren't any court weddings or "certificate" that identified married couples. People in the town/village knew who were married and who weren't by attending public weddings, introductions, and homecomings. Parents chose partners for their children and in many cases...were successful in the matches. However, we live in society where people want to be right and do not adhere to what is common sense even if they KNOW they are wrong they will be damn to admit they are wrong.

It is the thing with parents who think because they have lived longer than their children...they KNOW EVERRRRYTHING. If your parents instilled in you the best of advices then you shouldn't have any problems choosing a mate for you. I am not saying women should go and hunt for a man that is not what I am saying but if a woman meet a man and he is shy but they both want to get it on...then it would be fortunate for the woman to speak up to get the ball rolling.

In traditional days...men hunt and women choose. I believe that God is not complicated as people always shouts. For the bible thumpers...in the bible...it speaks about free will and making your own decisions in which path you will go. It doesn't make sense for God to say it is in my will that A, B, and C happens but you have a free will to choose.

I always hear my granny say I pray that it is in God's grace/favor that A, B, and C is acceptable and will succeed. I asked her why she says that all the time...she told me that whatever decisions she make she pray that God will direct her accordingly..in other words guide her as she walk down the path she has chosen.

It is important to seek someone that is compatible to you and listen to your inner voice....holy spirit. I am a spiritual being so I operates off spirituality. That's how my ancestors operated and so on. It is also good to know that demonic spirits exist although many people may not agree but how do you explain many demonic paranormal activities that occurred in the last decade? Exactly.

Now getting back to the point...it is about knowing what you want, what you expect, whom you are most compatible to, and how mature you are in your life and mind. It is important to have all of these things in order before you step into a relationship religious or not.

If you meet someone that you like always take it slow and get to know that person. Pay attention to actions and words....if you are uncomfortable with what you see and hear....time to change course. You can't change a person but you can change who you interact with.

Remember that everything is not what it seems. Ask for the revelation of the unseen. Last thing you want to be is sorely surprised!

Thank you dear!
Haba! They make it sound like if you ain't a "born again" christian, then you can never know never know God's will in choosing your life partner. They make it seem like being "born again" guarantees a successful relationship and if you are not born again your marriage or relationship is bound to fell!

What of those who are not Christians? What of those who are not born again? Yet their relationship and marriages have been successful?

No offence, but I think so many people have allowed being born again to take away their common sense.

if you need divine help then you must be one ugly looser

@ Poster

You may find help here
http://frankviola.org/rethinkingthewill.pdf

Prayer is the key...prayer is the master key

You might mistake your feelings, instinct, dreams, ideas from the Bible or coincidence for the will of God if the "God's will" you seek is a desperate measure simply because you are afraid of making a mistake in life and not because you love to hear Him speak . It's strictly a practice that works for those who have been depending on God for things severally in the past: those who love Him. LOVE OF GOD is the key and hearing from God is a daily experience to those who love Him by keeping His commandments. NOT A SUDDEN DESPERATE NEED.

binger: Prayer is the key...prayer is the master key

Absolutely.

jookunlaja: God bless you,I can assure you that the determination to know God's perfect will in marrage is one of the best decisions any Christian can ever make in life.
Firstly,I want you to know that some scholars say that we have 4 types of WILL namely:
1.Perfect will of God--this is getting the real blessing which God in His divine wisdom knows is the best for your life,though most times we find it very difficult to agree with God but in the end,one will surely thank God for His foresight,wisdom and direction.

2.Permissive will of God--God may eventually allow his child to have his/her way after many begging and considerations.Of course you should be able to bear the consequences of your neglecting God's will for your life.King Saul was given to the Israelites grudgingly by God.Many old testament saints practiced polygamy which God frowns at but He reluctantly permitted them to divorce/remarry/or marry many wives out of endurance.Believe me,each of them that tried those things came back to regret their actions later.

3.Self Will--Closely knitted with permissive will though this may be completely outside God's plan for the individual.The Israelites decided in their own will/volition to go out and attack the enemies without God's permission and they were massacred like christian chickens,for deciding to embark on an action not sanctioned by God.Samson had a covenant with God not to intermingle with unbelievers in marriage but he blatantly ignored God's directive and slept on Delilah's lap and he met himself in the mortuary.Solomon knew clearly that marrying the daughters of Pharaoh was against God's will for him but he disobeyed and he ended up a wretch.

4.Satanic/Demonic Will--Powers of darkness can super-impose their own will on human beings in order to fulfill satanic mandate or try to frustrate God's plan.

Now knwing God's will in marriage is as simple as A,B,C.
Firstly,the person must be a born again Christian.Who is actively desiring God's perfect will in his /her life.

Secondly,God delights in fellowship and not just ATM card users approach/fire-brigade style.We must get close to God out of love for him and not just to get him to give us just our daily bread.God desires children who will know and obey him in every aspect of their lives.You should not just start becoming spiritual because you want him to give you his perfect will for your life in marriage,career,fruit of the womb etc.Seek God,befriend him and one day even without asking he will surely reveal intimate details about your life to you.

The secrets of God are with those who fear him--psalm 25.
God cannot do anything without revealing it to his prophets(children,lovers and friends in the secret place of prayer)
How do you know God more/better

1.Read your bible,pray everyday--if you want to grow.Abandon any sin that may stand to block your access to God

2.Fellowship and learn to follow God's leading/direction in ordinary day-to-day activities of your life.
instead of just banging into his presence because you want a a wife/husband,job,baby,house,healing,prosperity etc right now.When you begin to follow God's leading on a daily basis,it would become very easy for you to know his mind concerning major decisions of your life.

Are u a Fire member? I mean are you of MFM.?
This will of God thing is so associated with them.

And one of the relationship relate responses, i so much dislike is 'If God says so'

Thats what keeps some people 4 their papa house 4 long.

vivian chinaza: When it feels right, your instinct tells you (tho sometimes we shut our instincts out cos we want that thing so badly, most people even see it as being negative), and he or she brings undiluted peace to your life and the love stands the test of time.

Trusting your instincts totally is very dangerous,so is trusting totally in faith or religion in relationships. Its just a game of luck and chance. If you're very lucky, you'll meet that one person that'll never disappoint you or treat you bad. At the same time, if your instincts are totally for someone, they may still end up treating you bad.

God will is available in allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll subject matter of life EXCEPT MARRIAGE...Dont let anyone deceive you......GOD WILL STAY CLEAR OF YOUR MARITAL CHOICES...ITS STRICTLY U OWN CHOOSING it has got nothing to do with GOD.....Read the whole bible the subject of WILL OF GOD IN MARRIAGE HAS NEVER BEEN STATED BIBLICALLY.......

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleaveeeee to his wife....so its ur own decision.

God does not match make people....anyone that shows u Gods will in vision,dream or prophecy is just creating a shortcut to an eternal life of depression for you

TRUST ME

And secondly even if God choose for u its no guarantee for a life of bliss(Adam and eve) cos man is a free moral agent and if God overrides our will then he would have made all of us go to heaven automatically

SHINE UR EYES

Your perfect will of God comes after special prayer and fasting session for that purpose alone,however anyone u know now as a friend/fiance(e)without prayer and fasting is ur own will and not the will of God.

To know God's true person? You must separate your want from your need. Separate your greed and differentiate between what makes you happy and which makes you happy.
Try to look inside and deeper not just the face. Rolles royce and Honda are in the same category because they are called cars. But one is more expensive than the other. You must know why you want the rolls royce or why you prefer the honda. Even doh, you have money to buy the two. When choosing a partner, don't look at status, achievement etc, but look at how the person respects you for who you are and how two of you can work better hand in hand. Remember that, we were created differently, there will always be bumps, but your true rib will always go ahead with you through. Mind you, if your instincts begins to have second tot about ur spouse that "is she/he the one?" Den, you are in trouble. To marry someone you doubt and do not trust means you are a complete FOOL!

vivian chinaza:


They make it sound like if you ain't a "born again" christian, then you can never know never know God's will in choosing your life partner. They make it seem like being "born again" guarantees a successful relationship and if you are not born again your marriage or relationship is bound to fell!

being born again means becoming a child of God. Therefore will of God is only meant for the children of God, not unbelivers nor church goers...

In anoda development, marrying the will of God doesn't guarantee a temptation free mariagae. Will of God is not enuf, Grace of God is also needed.

I believe I have lost the will of God for my life in marriage cos I was too picky. My question is, is there a second perfect will of God or does that come just once in a life time?

@gse intergrity
its quite easy but you need to be sensitive to the inner man,or spirit

1)pray about it to God first: tell Him to give you an idea of what He has in mind for you, then free your mind and let go,mentally and emotionally
the answer to your prayer will come as a hunch, intuition, etc since we live in world with people of diff races, tribes, size etc, you will get a strong urge or attraction or love for people amongst whom your soul mate is, ie if your soul mate is meant to be a ghanian or ibo girl you would from no where develop a strong love for girls/boys from such region, it will be as if a lid has been take of from your eyes(its your spirit directing you)

2)when this urge,or intuition, hunch starts if ur sentive to your inner man ,you will easily get it, dont stress easy does it,God will bring you to the person or take you to the person and this will happen through divine order that will result from events,circumstances and people,(all these will happen with out serious effort on your part)

3)when you meet the person, you will naturally LOVE what you see,ie yes before you even speak to her/him. when this happens if shes the one she will be from the geographical location from which you were led to be attracted to. if he/she is spiritually sensitive and close to God.she/he most likely will have felt the pulling or attraction to persons that fit your exact profile.(God pulling what you want to you) (what man seeks is seeking him)

4)when you meet her, u must yarn oo , God has done His part, you need to do yours,(all our prayers to God if they come to pass, will have to happen through us)(faith is active)

(prayer is telephoning God, intuition is God answering us back)
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Taiwo20:


Are u a Fire member? I mean are you of MFM.?
This will of God thing is so associated with them.

And one of the relationship relate responses, i so much dislike is 'If God says so'

Thats what keeps some people 4 their papa house 4 long.

Can you say that again!!

I am sooooo glad that my mother raised me to USE MY MIND and listen to my inner spirit!

It has kept me out of trouble all through my life!

olempe:

being born again means becoming a child of God. Therefore will of God is only meant for the children of God, not unbelivers nor church goers...

In anoda development, marrying the will of God doesn't guarantee a temptation free mariagae. Will of God is not enuf, Grace of God is also needed.

Are you God?

Gracious10: Is there a second perfect will of God or does that come just once in a life time?

We wouldn't need to depend on God if we knew what our future would look like. The "will of God" for us is based on His knowledge of our future and who are best-suited to be our companions in order for us to bloom, and not some stereotypical match-making techniques.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord."

Are we not the ones to look and find?

Finally, i want bible based proof that God is involved in finding wife/husband for us. And if some people will be left unmarried because God did not chose them.

See that is why I am always harder on people who are quick to use bible references not understanding what it means or the content. It is a shame that a person who isn't religious can explain the references in it validity.

According to the bible...everyone HAS A FREE WILL to make a choice. If everything were destined then it refute the theory of free will. God is not complicated and confusing as human beings.

Relying on THY OWN understanding is DANGEROUS.

duni04:
Trusting your instincts totally is very dangerous,so is trusting totally in faith or religion in relationships. Its just a game of luck and chance. If you're very lucky, you'll meet that one person that'll never disappoint you or treat you bad. At the same time, if your instincts are totally for someone, they may still end up treating you bad.

By instincts I meant listening you inner man.
As for me, whenever I don't listen to my inner spirit it lands me into something messy. I don't need to be born again for me to have it or know how to listen to it.

Boomark: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord."

Are we not the ones to look and find?

Finally, i want bible based proof that God is involved in finding wife/husband for us. And if some people will be left unmarried because God did not chose them.

There is nothing in the bible that states that God pick spouses.

The bible states the man shall look for the wife but some people are saying that how do we get God's will in finding a mate....is that contradicting?

To anyone...

If you are a Christian...please read your bible in entirety and FOLLOW IT in entirety. Not pick and choose what is applicable to you.

Research has shown that God/religion has no role to play in relationships. The same research also proved that Atheists actually make the best partners.

Mrs.Chima:
See that is why I am always harder on people who are quick to use bible references not understanding what it means or the content. It is a shame that a person who isn't religious can explain the references in it validity.

According to the bible...everyone HAS A FREE WILL to make a choice. If everything were destined then it refute the theory of free will. God is not complicated and confusing as human beings.

Relying on THY OWN understanding is DANGEROUS.

you have a point
because we are all created like God,and have free will to do as you please

BUT allowing God to choose for you, is also using your freewill, in that you have given up or sacrificed your will for Gods own counsel and will to be done.
we can do what we want or let God do what He wants with us(that is fulfilling your purpose)we all are created for someone, something etc.