When I tell people that I write romance novels or that I blog mostly about issues in relationships, the next question from some of them is whether I'm married and for how long. I am sometimes tempted to answer in the negative to hear what they will say, but the replies when I answer truthfully gives me a pretty good idea.

The assumption is that I should know what I'm talking about since I'm living it. But is it really true that married people have more wisdom about relationship matters?

Read in full - http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/07/does-marriage-confer-special.html

It's all tied to intelligence or should we say aptitude. Some people are just poor learners and may be married for 30 years and still give terrible relationship advice or how do you explain married mothers who encourage their daughters to marry dying old men instead of a young suitor that is responsible and caring. #Justasking.

To answer ur question: YES!
WHY? because what u dont have, u cant give, how and what are u going to tell smbody who is having issues to settle with her hubby,when u dont have any experience to share, so in my own opinion, i think married pple are more experienced in relatnship matters than singles.
There was a time,(b4 i got married), dt i was a sunday school teaccher, on a particulr sunday, d topic we will have teat had to do with marriage,i walk straight to d pastor to inform him dt i could not teach d topic, because i wasnt married, he wanted to force it on me, claiming dt i was intelligent, but i declined outrightly.

Differentiate the two>> experience and wisdom.
Not all married people have wisdom and the unmarried lack experience.

Are u better of listening to a married fool or an inexperienced but wise person?
tricky and I am tempted to say neither,so what I do is,take in what works in my situation and spit the rest no matter what the status of the source is.

@OP
HELL NO!!! it all have to do with the individual. every donkey out there can be married, yet it wont make them any wiser when it comes to r/ships.

no. only regrets

greatgod2012: To answer ur question: YES!
WHY? because what u dont have, u cant give, how and what are u going to tell smbody who is having issues to settle with her hubby,when u dont have any experience to share, so in my own opinion, i think married pple are more experienced in relatnship matters than singles.
There was a time,(b4 i got married), dt i was a sunday school teaccher, on a particulr sunday, d topic we will have teat had to do with marriage,i walk straight to d pastor to inform him dt i could not teach d topic, because i wasnt married, he wanted to force it on me, claiming dt i was intelligent, but i declined outrightly.

There is no guarantee. Wisdom is from God. It's like saying the elderly are wiser because of their age. Age is nothing but a number. They may have more experienced than singles but it doesn't make them any wiser. That's why you see people divorce more than once . You can tell they haven't learnt anything from their previous mistake.

I don't know if wisdom is the right word to use! I would've prefer saying knowledge. And when I say knowledge, that simple mean knowledge of each other not every marriage out there. I have said this in few threads about relationship and am saying it again, No two marriages or relationships are the same! Even if you both/guys are a set of twins. What works for your twin sister or brother might not work in your own marriage/relationship. Study your partner and know what they like or dislike and when there's problem, let others including family be your very last option. Things that worked for your parent or friends might even cause you more problem if you implement them in yours!

CuntDestroyer: no. only regrets

Not all of them though!

The OP should change the "wisdom" to "experience".

For now, i don't have any long comment but i should say:


WISDOM is a rare commodity and whether being single or married does not give you access to it.. only few are wise.

But experience can only be gotten from those who have walked the walk or those who have walked along with those who walked the walk.

marriage is not the basis for wisdom.
wisdom is a gift which anyone no matter the age limit can have.

prince_onx: I don't know if wisdom is the right word to use! I would've prefer saying knowledge. And when I say knowledge, that simple mean knowledge of each other not every marriage out there. I have said this in few threads about relationship and am saying it again, No two marriages or relationships are the same! Even if you both/guys are a set of twins. What works for your twin sister or brother might not work in your own marriage/relationship. Study your partner and know what they like or dislike and when there's problem, let others including family be your very last option. Things that worked for your parent or friends might even cause you more problem if you implement them in yours!

absolutely true.

its true coz married people knw exactly how it feel and pinch

Myne White: When I tell people that I write romance novels or that I blog mostly about issues in relationships, the next question from some of them is whether I'm married and for how long. I am sometimes tempted to answer in the negative to hear what they will say, but the replies when I answer truthfully gives me a pretty good idea.

The assumption is that I should know what I'm talking about since I'm living it. But is it really true that married people have more wisdom about relationship matters?

For where, for the mere fact that you are married does not equip you with more wisdom on relationship, you may have some experiences above someone not married, but most times married people still engage in many 'illicit acts' not expected of them, so where is the wisdom?

Dat u re married does not implies u knowing much about relationship. Information gathered and individual personality matters.

Myne White: When I tell people that I write romance novels or that I blog mostly about issues in relationships, the next question from some of them is whether I'm married and for how long. I am sometimes tempted to answer in the negative to hear what they will say, but the replies when I answer truthfully gives me a pretty good idea.

The assumption is that I should know what I'm talking about since I'm living it. But is it really true that married people have more wisdom about relationship matters?

Yes (as expected) but
No (with what you see around in this society.

20 years of Dating and cohabiting without legally, customarily or religiously getting married can never be compared to to a couple who have been married and living together for a week, Marriage itself is courage that brings wisdom.

If i need advice on Marital issues, i would be confiding with couples whose marriage has been tested over the years and have matured into it, am talking about old couples with huge experience.

I do believe they do especially if 'experience is the best teacher' adage holds. Married have gone the double mile of courting and living as man and wife. They sure ought to know more.

^^^^ think of what you just wrote, and imagine the following scenario:
the first couple dated for 3 yrs, got married for the next 7yrs, the second couple dated for 10yrs.....and then come and tell us why you would automatically assume that the first couple have more wisdom about relationship than the second one.

Yeah some of them do.
'v spoken to a trusted few about their challenges and I must confess talking with them has helped me plan ahead.

Not certainly wisdom, but experience.

tomakint:

For where, for the mere fact that you are married does not equip you with more wisdom on relationship, you may have some experiences above someone not married, but most times married people still engage in many 'illicit acts' not expected of them, so where is the wisdom?

If you are not married, you have only seen the tip of the proverbial iceberg!
The realities of marriage will shock you to your bone marrows when you get in.
There is nothing you know about marriage till you get married, just wait and see.

No. See Jesus.

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^ think of what you just wrote, and imagine the following scenario:
the first couple dated for 3 yrs, got married for the next 7yrs, the second couple dated for 10yrs.....and then come and tell us why you would automatically assume that the first couple have more wisdom about relationship than the second one.

arrant nonsense, the lady in the second scenario will still be pretending like an actress!
Till she says "I do" on the alter, then you will see who your wife really is!

tomakint:

For where, for the mere fact that you are married does not equip you with more wisdom on relationship, you may have some experiences above someone not married, but most times married people still engage in many 'illicit acts' not expected of them, so where is the wisdom?

Do you even know what marriage means?

SELFWORTH: There is no guarantee. Wisdom is from God. It's like saying the elderly are wiser because of their age. Age is nothing but a number. They may have more experienced than singles but it doesn't make them any wiser. That's why you see people divorce more than once . You can tell they haven't learnt anything from their previous mistake.

How many times do guys change girlfriends on the average? sometimes 7 times, and you are here talking of one or two divorces.

pendo89: Differentiate the two>> experience and wisdom.
Not all married people have wisdom and the unmarried lack experience.

Are u better of listening to a married fool or an inexperienced but wise person?
tricky and I am tempted to say neither,so what I do is,take in what works in my situation and spit the rest no matter what the status of the source is.

The married fool may not have started that way, he may have been turned from a brilliant young banker/fast rising businessman to a broke, sacked, disgraced, bitter ex convict and drunk fool by his nagging wife.

You have to listen to the married fool before you end up like him!

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^ think of what you just wrote, and imagine the following scenario:
the first couple dated for 3 yrs, got married for the next 7yrs, the second couple dated for 10yrs.....and then come and tell us why you would automatically assume that the first couple have more wisdom about relationship than the second one.

van bonattel:



arrant nonsense, the lady in the second scenario will still be pretending like an actress!
Till she says "I do" on the alter, then you will see who your wife really is!

In addition to the above comment, the guy probably can count how many times he had spoken to or been in the present of the girls parents during those 10yrs not to talk of spending a week or a month under one roof with each others family or parents. In other words, you can date for 10yrs and not have the experience of those married for 10 months!

Spending a week or a month with each others family?a week is sensible but a monthunless either parents is really sick and have to hang around for awhile,if not,Co habiting is not necessary.For real,there are things that can never make sense as a single person till you are married.

Children, children, children. Why of course teenagers and people in their twenties have infinitely more wisdom than their elders. Is it not our tradition to turn to the young and inexperienced when we are troubled or in need of advice? My people have seen the error of their ways and have wisely replaced the council of elders with the council of youngsters.