Efemena_xy:


I don't know what you're on about here Mr TV01, but you certainly come across as a self-centered, unaccommodating "Christian".

If I were a muslim, Hindu, atheist, what sort of advice would you give me, if I were seeking help on issues relating to abuse?

See, this is the beef I've got with our so-called born-again-bible-wielding-holier-than-thou-Christian brothers. We're all human beings and whether they like it or not, we as humans do have physical needs. There is a saying: Body nor be wood. It's no mean feat fighting your hormonal needs. You need to be superhumanly disciplined to do that. Heck, even religious leaders who swear oaths of celibacy do succumb to their physical needs.

Presumably you are not Christian? "body nor be wood"? How about "He gives more grace to the humble". How about Self-control as a fruit of the spirit?

Those of other faiths have their worldviews and philospohies. I'm a Christian. I advise out of mine. If you don't agree or believe, I have no quibbles. Indeed,I'd like to hear differing views from whatever belief system.

"NL #1 so-called born-again-bible-wielding-holier-than-thou-Christian brother"
TV

T[color=#770077][/color]The main reason? Although many here will scream and champion their rights as adults, they simply are not mature enough to handle adult intimate relationships at that age or been instructed about intimacy in the correct paradigm. With all the self-esteem in the world, it's setting them up to fall.

WHEN YOUNG WOMEN ARE FREE TO AND ENCOURAGED TO BE INTIMATE WITH MEN, THEY ARE BEING ABUSED. REGARDLESS OF HOW BLISSFULLY SWEET OR EXTREMELY VIOLENT THE RELATIONSHIP IS.


Best
TV[/quote]

@TV01,oh wow...that was quite a long post. Won't even argue with you,I'm guessing that would be a collosal waste of time. How do you explain abuse in marriage then? Is the abused still too young to understand relationship?

This TV no dey tire. It or he is definitely a spambot or in serious denial. Grandpa TV, Judge first class, leave me alone abeg. I don't have the time to entertain you. And don't talk about my family cause you are clueless on that front. My name is baby, because I am the baby, so all my siblings are older. Now does it amaze you that most married men still have that mentality? Stop swimming in high waters with high tide. Abuse simply cannot be justified. Male or female. You seem so concerned about this thread. If you have been abused, leave your story or read from the sidelines.

I have an assigment for Grandpa TV the religious hypocrite. How about you open a thread on how religion, especially christianity has contributed to the damage of the family system, by promoting and supporting abuse? Reflect on that. Don't worry, there we will fight to the end.

Efemena_xy: ^^ Are the taunts and snide remarks necessary?

I've posted your own portion!

Happy now ?

TV01

Does your religion justify abuse? 'cos that's the message I'm getting from you.

Where's that insensitive 'Coogar' person?

What did you mean by 'did you shed a tear when your loved one died of Cancer'? Are you flipping crazy?? How in the world is it your business what I choose to cry over?

For the sakes of the folks who started this thread,I'll let this be the last I mention you,you faceless slowpoke.

Loool. OMDays Nairaland moderators are soo cool. They autocorrected M.o.r.o.n to 'slowpoke'. Awwww,so cute.

Pitykitten: T[color=#770077][/color]The main reason? Although many here will scream and champion their rights as adults, they simply are not mature enough to handle adult intimate relationships at that age or been instructed about intimacy in the correct paradigm. With all the self-esteem in the world, it's setting them up to fall.

WHEN YOUNG WOMEN ARE FREE TO AND ENCOURAGED TO BE INTIMATE WITH MEN, THEY ARE BEING ABUSED. REGARDLESS OF HOW BLISSFULLY SWEET OR EXTREMELY VIOLENT THE RELATIONSHIP IS.


Best
TV

@TV01,oh wow...that was quite a long post. Won't even argue with you,I'm guessing that would be a collosal waste of time. How do you explain abuse in marriage then? Is the abused still too young to understand relationship?

It's not an arguement. That's my POV. Happy to hear alternative ones.

Not to be funny, but one thing I've learned is that I'm not God.

Liken marriage to an egg. God says, deliver it this way, treat it thus and handle in this manner. You don't, and it breaks. I can't fix that. Only God can. All I can do is draw attention to the original instruction.

When the Bible talks marriage it is in reference to a union correctly transacted. Indeed it starts from birth and correct Godly nurture and instruction from a tender age.

So someone marries for papers, by entrapment, to get money or for any number of wrong reasons, incorrect motivations or faulty basis and the egg breaks. There's very little I can do. The damage has been done, the egg is cracked and broken - and there's always a reason for it cracking. All the proponents of this thread are looking to do is ascribe blame. They have offered nothing by way of resolution. I'm not sure they are really interested.

Hope that wasn't overly long.

Regards
TV

baby_123: This TV no dey tire. It or he is definitely a spambot or in serious denial. Grandpa TV, Judge first class, leave me alone abeg. I don't have the time to entertain you. And don't talk about my family cause you are clueless on that front. My name is baby, because I am the baby, so all my siblings are older. Now does it amaze you that most married men still have that mentality? Stop swimming in high waters with high tide. Abuse simply cannot be justified. Male or female. You seem so concerned about this thread. If you have been abused, leave your story or read from the sidelines.

I have an assigment for Grandpa TV the religious hypocrite. How about you open a thread on how religion, especially christianity has contributed to the damage of the family system, by promoting and supporting abuse? Reflect on that. Don't worry, there we will fight to the end.

Please don't take offence, I only repeated parts of your post to underline my position. No slight intended. I do so in the hope that some will shine eye and avoid heartache, as opposed to remain ignorant and look for feet at which to lay the blame afterwards.

You're going to have to fail me on that assignment I'm afraid. Christianity has only ever championed the family, emancipated women and blessed us with the marital union. Some people professing christianity may have done otherwise, but I can't speak for them, hence I won't be opening any such thread.

Regards
TV

Efemena_xy: TV01

Does your religion justify abuse? 'cos that's the message I'm getting from you.

No it doesn't.
Please show me where I've resorted to abuse and I'll make amends. In fact I apologise in advance of your showing me.
I could point out instances from you, but I'd rather just appreciate it happened in the spirit of hearty debate and forgive.

T"pious to the power p"V

Pitykitten: Where's that insensitive 'Coogar' person?

What did you mean by 'did you shed a tear when your loved one died of Cancer'? Are you flipping crazy?? How in the world is it your business what I choose to cry over?

For the sakes of the folks who started this thread,I'll let this be the last I mention you,you faceless slowpoke.

you are a tool, you miserable sack of shyte with the brain capacity of a slug! don't let it be for the sake of the people who started the thread - that's a cop-out! a ploy pitiful cowards like yourself deploy to mask their weak mentality!

coogar:

your argument that men are always the culprits in marital abuse because they are physically stronger than women already tells me you are a simpleton! like i reiterate, you are a product of your environment where the defenceless mama bomboy gets battered by blows and kicks all the time - you have probably never heard of women palming a piece and shooting their husbands - never heard of women stabbing their husbands - and we are still on physical abuse chapter....i haven't even mentioned verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse which are all under the umbrella of domestic abuse.....i guess you also need big bones and height to verbally/emotionally abuse a spouse! what an airhead!

Did She/He actually say this?.....Oh dearie me

TV01:
A large number of women freely offer themselves up to be abused, to a large degree aided and abetted by their parents, particularly their mothers.

TV

I agree with this excerpt from your comment wholeheartedly.

chic2pimp:
Did She actually say this?.....Oh dearie me

yes, he did.....

Ihedinobi:
Quit being a hater. Men are physically stronger than women, weight for weight. If anyone exerts physical strength to overpower and bully the other to the point of threatening their lives, it's more likely to be the man than the woman. Considering that fact, why the hell is it an issue that such threads as this should be more populated by women's stories than men's? You don't need to be taught elementary biology and social studies, do you?

and guess what?
the plonker got hi-fives and 9 "likes" from the rëtards of his ilk...........do you still think the iq of the average nigerian is not less than 33? you know some men just love to cop their erëctions and maybe orgäsms from the e-pats and e-kisses they get from virtual women so they would say anything to back them! it was only later i realised the pillock was a victim of séxual abuse..he probably lost his virginity to his uncle...what a tyke!

Mr Tv would you do us all a favor and clearly summarize all your preventive measures for domestive violence in one or two posts so it can be bookmarked and referred back to as needed by those who feel it would be relevant to them. Please put it in clear, plain, uncoded English so even the dullest of us can understand it. Hopefully it will help you put the issue behind you and move on once your conscience would have been cleared that you've put all your life and marriage saving tips out there.

Just trying to help sir.

debrief08:
No oh, single girls are asked "how many men will you date?" If you leave this one what guarantee is there that the next one will be better? You dont know you are getting old, just manage this one at least he likes you. do you know how many women over 35 are looking for any type of man at all? Stop being picky, dont worry he will change

This kind of talk dey irritate my ears ehn!

coogar:

you are a tool, you miserable sack of shyte with the brain capacity of a slug! don't let it be for the sake of the people who started the thread - that's a cop-out! a ploy pitiful cowards like yourself deploy to mask their weak mentality!

Oh dear!

The warrior has arrived

coogar:

you are a tool, you miserable sack of shyte with the brain capacity of a slug! don't let it be for the sake of the people who started the thread - that's a cop-out! a ploy pitiful cowards like yourself deploy to mask their weak mentality!

Isn't it obvious why you are so defensive Mr.? Maybe you can relate to this thread and you have behaved like some girls in this thread may have described their abusers? Do you have beef with this person? Na wa o. E rora she aye. Aye o le toyen. Why are you poping veins like this. . You are suspiciously over interested in the thread. Do you have an experience? Tell us, we are listening. Your whole point since you started arguing was the men's experience not so. Please don't try to insult me, I can match and even exceed your wordsm thanks.

TV01,I understand you. And no,that post wasn't too long.

You must realise though,that your posts somewhat infer that the abused it to blame. There must be cases of victims who were well-behaved,submissive lovers of God. Please do not justify abuse.

baby_123:

Isn't it obvious why you are so defensive Mr.? Maybe you can relate to this thread and you have behaved like some girls in this thread may have described their abusers? Do you have beef with this person? Na wa o. E rora she aye. Aye o le toyen. Why are you poping veins like this. . You are suspiciously over interested in the thread. Do you have an experience? Tell us, we are listening.

i get particularly peeved with people suffering from shallow mentality like yourself. that i am arguing for/against any motion does not place me in that scenario. only mgbeke half-baked graduates reason in such pitiful manner.

all i was asking for was a balance but i have been categorically told the thread was designed to applaud the divorcees, ex divorcees, single mothers, etc and to celebrate their survival of their broken relationships.....

having read some of the comments of some of you here, it's not particularly surprising the relationships didn't work out - majority of you were wet behind the ears and had no business having intimate relationships in the first place.

coogar:

i get particularly peeved with people suffering from shallow mentality like yourself. that i am arguing for/against any motion does not place me in that scenario. only mgbeke half-baked graduates reason in such pitiful manner.

all i was asking for was a balance but i have been categorically told the thread was designed to applaud the divorcees, ex divorcees, single mothers, etc to celebrate their survival of their broken relationships........having read some of the comments of some of you here, it's not particularly surprising why the relationships didn't work out - majority of you were wet behind the ears and had no business having intimate relationships in the first place.

Ok, good for you Mr. Perfect who cannot control his emotions or his tongue. No matter how much you try to fight it, we hope you learnt something that will make you a more reasonable person than you have displayed on this thread. Clearly you missed the title of the thread which is open to anyone that has been abused. You think you can enter any thread and start insulting people telling their stories. A rational person will either contribute or tell their story. Not try to insult or derail the thread. The truth is nothing you have written can erase or take away from the thread. And it is totally childish and unnecessary of you to insult someone who lost a family to an illness like cancer. That just shows who you are. Quite sad. Smh. If you are looking for balance, stand on a scale. Abusive stories never have balance. Abuse is abuse, and whether you like it or not these are true stories. No one on this thread ever said abuse was limited to only women. Since you can control yourself or your emotions this is my final response to you. I can see you only communicate by insults. You only affect yourslef not the strangers you are popping veins over. Did you miss the place where the people that experienced abuse in relationships were adults? You are in very serious denial. Give this advise to your daughters. Maybe you are a woman sef and this has worked for you. Who knows. Wet behind the ears? What a mess. Were your mothers not married at 16? Mtscheew.

freecocoa: Okay o, Aunty Busy_body.
Its obvious there's something between some people that has nada to do with this thread, so....

When you know that something is going down between some people which means you grasp that it involves more than one person, and you single out only one person(me), IT IS CALLED SHI'T-STIRRING WHERE I COME FROM, and is not a nice trait. Now you can kindly hop off my tip.

Ihedinobi:

A war is not all that necessary, ma'am.I really was not referring in any way your posts. I have my reservations about your views but I have not quite classed them with those I find annoying. It's just incidental that the post that I was responding to was a response to one of yours.

I am glad you said what I highlighted in bold up there. The content in Tgirl's post addressed to me had nothing to do with your asinine comment. So why hide under Tgirl's skirt to throw the missive you clearly intended for the people rattling your cage and yanking your chain, COWARD?


And you have the nerve to allege I am bringing war, like the boy who cried wolf, wow, the mind boggles. It is not called war, it is termed "I don't suffer fools gladly", so find someone else to practise your cowardice on.


Anyway, what were you doing rooting around Tgirl's skirt? Were you hoping to find some balls to borrow from there? What happened to yours, oh forget I asked, I am sure its absence can be attributed to Coogar who gave you a right bollocking earlier!!!

baby_123:
Ok, good for you Mr. Perfect who cannot control his emotions or his tongue. No matter how much you try to fight it, we hope you learnt something and will make you a more reasonable perosn than you have displayed on this thread.

it's not my fault i have got a zero tolerance for zombies, lazy-thinkers and hypocrites. my signature has a warning sign attached to it! i am unlike many of the people who come here to post and just "go with the flow".....sorry to disappoint you!

Clearly you missed the title of the thread which is open to anyone that has been abused. You think you can enter any thread and start insulting people telling their stories. A rational person will either contribute or tell their story not try to insult or derail the thread. The truth is nothing you have written can erase or take away from the thread. And it is totally childish and unnecessary of you to insult someone who lost a family to an illness like cancer. That just shows who you are. Quite sad. Smh. If you are looking for balance, stand on a scale.

who lost a family to cancer? roflmao - are you dyslexic?
i did not miss the title of the thread - i did not attack the title of the thread, i attacked the trend the comments were veering to. the op of the thread probably expected something different but the daughters of eve as usual hijacked the thread and turned it into men are evil with their crocodile tears and reh reh reh......

Abusive stories never have balance. Abuse is abuse, and whether you like it or not these are true stories. No one on this thread ever said abuse was limited to only men. Since you can control yourself or your emotions this is my final response to you. I can see you only communicate by insults. You only affect yourslef not the strangers you are popping veins over.

abusive stories never have balance? you need to seek professional help - get a shrink to explain what "domestic abuse" is all about! majority of you think it's until the man raises his arm to slap that he's abused - forgetting the fact that you started the abuse by tongue-lashing your partner.......every action produces a reaction - sad but that's the truth! clean up your habits - read! i cannot emphasise this enough! read and read and read and then this marriage thingy would not be too ambiguous for you to deal with!

Did you miss the place where the people that experienced abuse in relationships were adults? You are in very serious denial. Give this advise to your daughters. Maybe you are a woman sef and this has worked for you. Who knows. Wet behind the ears? What a mess. Were your mothers not married at 16? Mtscheew.

yet another brainfart.......it seems we are never going to get along!
that you are 35 does not necessarily mean you are intelligent - the people who got abused as adults should search themselves first and take their partners for professional help! don't you worry about my daughters - all i know is none of them is going to grow up to be like you! remove the speck in your eyes first.....

mothers married @ 16? i bet they were smarter @ 16 than many of y'all in your 30s. look at most of them - they are all settled in their husband's houses, raised kids who have become lawyers, doctors and engineers and yet today's women who are supposed to be doing better are hopping from one matrimonial bed to another - it's a shame!!!

Pitykitten: TV01,I understand you. And no,that post wasn't too long.

You must realise though,that your posts somewhat infer that the abused it to blame. There must be cases of victims who were well-behaved,submissive lovers of God. Please do not justify abuse.

For the most part I've focused on the run-up as opposed to the actual jump. I've been focusing on preventative measures as opposed to remedies. Having said that, I clearly stated the abuse is in no way justifiable and the abuser must take responsibiity for his actions.

If any well-behaved, submissive lover of God transacted their union in God and remained Godly and there was abuse and they were unhappy with the outcome I'd suggest they take that up with God.

Neither can I be held responsible for what you choose to "somewhat infer" into my posts. Although I'm always happy to clarify if specifics are brought to my attention.

One other thing, at the point of transaction, one must understand and be willing to accept responsibility for what they transact into. That is separate from the accountability of abuse, but an accountability all the same.

I'm afraid I have little else by way of consolation.

Regards
TV

LOOOOOOL. You are something,aren't you? Haha.

coogar:

you are a tool, you miserable sack of shyte with the brain capacity of a slug! don't let it be for the sake of the people who started the thread - that's a cop-out! a ploy pitiful cowards like yourself deploy to mask their weak mentality!

Pitykitten: LOOOOOOL. You are something,aren't you? Haha.

Honestly one can only pity the dude. A very sad case of a man that insults like a market woman. I bet when he is peeved with his wife, he won't hesitate to call her a "miserable sack of shyte". Rotfl. Looks like the men being described on this thread have come to life.hahaaha. One sees why he is do defensive. No need even conversing with it. Must be a sad and lonely person.

baby_123:

Honestly one can only pity the dude. A very sad case of a man that insults like a market woman. I bet when he is peeved with his wife, he won't hesitate to call her a "miserable sack of shyte". Rotfl. Looks like the men being described on this thread have come to life.hahaaha. One sees why he is do defensive. No need even conversing with it. Must be a sad and lonely person.

sad and lonely? you wish!
i have nothing but prayers for you - you need to go and lie down - no amount of your pitiful tales would change your outlook if you don't search inwards......the kind of life i live - you would need 400 days of white fasting on mount horeb to cop such...:you miserable maggot!

coogar:

sad and lonely? you wish!
i have nothing but prayers for you - you need to go and lie down - no amount of your pitiful tales would change your outlook if you don't search inwards......the kind of life i live - you would need 400 days of white fasting on mount horeb to cop such...:you miserable maggot!

Lmao. Trust me, you are not good enough to shine my shoes or even earn what my gate man earns. You are psychologically out of wack and need obvious mental help. Maggot? Rotflmao. See this mosquito. Asinwin, oloshi radarada. Eni to won ti sa si. Ti won ti ba aiye e je. Abeg go punch a wall or hang yourslef. You are almost there anyway. Lmao. What a twerp. Little kid like you. Wretched infant.

My apologies to the wonderful ladies on this thread. Sometimes you have to come down to the level of an abuser to show them that level get level. Let's move on and leave the mentally challenged infant to keep throwing tantrums. Someone that insults a person over a sick relative is below my shoes. Only good enough to be stepped on. Lmao.

Busy_Body, I didn't single you out, I only asked you those questions based on your posts which seemed to me like you were in the same boat with Guitarlife, I only wanted to understand your posts better, your reply to my question is what led to my conclusion, you didn't even answer the questions I asked but brought someone else into it via name calling, so please carry on by all means, I've since moved on.

Meh, no be say na talk, some people get serious issues o.

Anyhow, I'm really interested to hear any solution to abuse other than divorce. What else can a victim of abuse do to beat abuse? Any taker?

baby_123:
Lmao. Trust me, you are not good enough to shine my shoes or even earn what my gate man earns. You are psychologically out of wack and need obvious mental help. Maggot? Rotflmao. See this mosquito. Asinwin, oloshi radarada. Eni to won ti sa si. Ti won ti ba aiye e je. Abeg go punch a wall or hang yourslef. You are almost there anyway. Lmao. What a twerp. Little kid like you. Wretched infant.

tut tut tut - epitome of a firewood background #sigh#

gateman? let me laugh in marital abuse!!!
you have such a glorious life and yet your husband turned you into a punching bag? get out of here with your tales by moonlight!

My apologies to the wonderful ladies on this thread. Sometimes you have to come down to the level of an abuser to show them that level get level. Let's move on and leave the mentally challenged infant to keep throwing tantrums. Someone that insults a person over a sick relative is below my shoes. Only good enough to be stepped on. Lmao.

you have clearly shown the reason why your husband abused you - i am sorry for your future.....i would be embarrassed to have you as a wife too - hell, your kids would be embarrassed to have you as a mother! you're crass - there's no sign you have ever been married - no decorum, no class, no honour, no aura - you are just a specimen that was belched out of the cünt of an animal!

coogar:

yes, he did.....
and guess what?
the plonker got hi-fives and 9 "likes" from the rëtards of his ilk...........do you still think the iq of the average nigerian is not less than 33? you know some men just love to cop their erëctions and maybe orgäsms from the e-pats and e-kisses they get from virtual women so they would say anything to back them! it was only later i realised the pillock was a victim of séxual abuse..he probably lost his virginity to his uncle...what a tyke!

I am surprised that post hasn't got more than 5 likes. Sillier posts than that have gotten more Likes" so nothing surprises me anymore.
Those are the Men we call "Real Men". Men that would say anything just as along as it pleases women folk.
Unfortunately that's what quite a number of Men have been reduced to these days.